Unexpected, Unwelcome, and Absolutely Perfect
by That'sMzPeachesTYVM
Summary: The pack is going to watch the Cullens practice for the impending battle. Most have never met the family. An imprint is made, changing the direction of Bella's life. Free will does not always mean that there is a choice. Rated M 4 Language & Lemons NOT A SLASH... Leah/Edward, Bella/Jacob
1. Chapter 1 In the Clearing

AN.. This is my very first story.. EVER. Please feel free to leave feedback. Tell me what you think! *biting my nails in anticipation*

Disclaimer: I own nothing in the Twilight universe.. I am simply borrowing some of Stephanie's charaters.

Chapter 1

_**In the Clearing**_

_Leah POV_

As we approached the clearing, we could hear them. They were talking in whispers. I could just make out their stark white figures against the blackness of the field. We were all so tense, and on edge. Their cloying scent burning our noses.

"They've been holding out on us!" said the one standing beside Bella. I could only assume that this was the_ infamous_ Edward. Bella's own personal bloodsucker. I shuddered, and tried not to look in his direction. I made a mental note to **not** notice - in the future- how like velvet his voice sounded.

"Ew! What the.." I heard Sam think in my head, along with the whispered oaths and a general feeling confusion from the rest of the pack.

Their leader stepped forward to welcome us, and thank us for coming. This "truce" was so sensitive, and in spite of our collective hatred for all vampires, this "family" (I mentally rolled my eyes at the word) seemed to be on the level about their lifestyle choices.

I sensed disapproval from Sam and Paul especially as I allowed my mind to wander down this path. Go figure, SAM disapproving of something I was thinking. I huffed and tried to empty my mind of anything but the intricate "ballet" of fighting taking place in the field as the blonde haired male leech danced with the little black haired spritely female.

As they came to the end of their elegant match, I was in awe of their speed and skill. It was certainly an eye-opening experience. Of course, nausea almost overtook me as the pixie vamp kissed the male's neck, her eyes softening into liquid pools of love as she gazed up at him. It reminded me of the looks that Sam used to give me... the longing, loving gazes that now belonged only to Emily.

At this thought, I felt the hackles rising in my pack. I _refused_ to even _think_ the word sorry. I was not sorry that Sam got to feel my pain. My heart had not been ripped out of me, I still felt it setting like a stone in my chest. The fact that it still beat was merely a biological habit. It had been crushed, and died in its cage that fateful day, almost a year ago.

_Sam came through the back door, and walked up behind me as I was spreading butter on toast. Emily, my cousin, and dearest friend (practically my sister) had spent the previous night with me, and was going to meet "My Sam" for the first time that day. We were going to go out to the movies in Port Angeles that afternoon. _

_Snaking his arms around me, Sam pressed his lips to the back of my neck, and rubbed his thumbs back and forth across my stomach. (Nobody but Emily knew that Sam and I had been sleeping together for almost a month now.) Sam was like air to me. I needed him beside me, and inside of me as much as I needed my next breath. We were already trying to decide when to announce our engagement to everyone... all I was lacking was a ring._

_Today had been planned for the last two weeks, and I was so happy that everything had fallen into place. Sam was able to come! He had not been feeling well lately, and had been surly. He was constantly running a fever, and was so easily upset... I was afraid that he was coming down with some terrible illness. Even this morning, his arms around me were too warm, but I was not about to say anything for fear that he would get upset and call off our plans._

_Emily walked into the kitchen then, and sighed out "Good morning!"._

_I felt a stiffening of Sam's posture immediately, and thought he was afraid my mother had seen our intimate position. It didn't take long to figure out that this assumption was incorrect. We turned together, me still in his arms. _

_"You MUST be Sam!" Emily said quietly, extending her hand in greeting._

_Sam's arms dropped, and he froze. His breath started to heave, and his eyes looked wild. He kept looking back and forth between myself and Emily. I couldn't for the life of me understand what was going on. He looked like he had seen a ghost or something. _

_"Sam?" I questioned, reaching for his hands. "Is everything okay? What's wrong, baby?"_

_Emily was staring at Sam, wide eyed, and confused. Sam just started shaking his head, still looking like a mad man as his eyes swing back and forth between me and Emily. It was the strangest thing I had ever experienced. I mean, Sam HAD been acting strangely recently, but this was something entirely new. I watched as his whole frame began to shake. I reached out to grab his arm, and withdrew my hand immediately. It felt so very hot, almost like it could burn me. _

_Sam started backing towards the door, shaking so hard, so fast that his entire body seemed to be vibrating. As he stepped out of the door, an oath strangled itself out of his throat. I walked after him, calling his name, but by the time I made it to the low porch, there was no one in my yard. I saw the branches of a small bush at the edge of the woods shaking, and ran towards it, screaming out for him, but he was gone. I walked into the woods a short distance, my eyes searching for him, finding nothing. _

_I stumbled, twisting my ankle on an unseen object. Sitting on the ground, my hand searched out source of me fall. I found a torn shoe, and puzzled over it. I puzzled over Sam's strange behavior, and disappearance. I just plain sat there puzzled as I rubbed by ankle. Fifteen minutes later; Emily stood at the edge of the woods, her eyes frantic, and her voice frightened as she called out for me…_

_I didn't see Sam again for about three weeks, and when I did I was so relieved that I didn't even care about the drastic change in his appearance, I simply ran to him, and tried to throw my arms around him. He side-stepped me. I thought it odd that he was at the Makaw Rez. I had just come to see Emily, and was shocked to see him there._

_"No, Li-li." he said softly, his eyes on the ground in front of me. _

_"What? Why?" I implored. I was so angry. It took me a moment to realize that Emily was just off to the side, and slightly behind him. Her eyes were swollen and red, as if she had been crying. Alot._

_"What is THIS?" I shrieked._

_Emily just began to cry, and shook her head. I refused to understand the scene before me. My brain not willing to accept the betrayal I could see in front of me. _

_I turned and ran back towards Emily's house, away from the back corner of her yard where I had found them. I stopped just inside the door, panting. Trying to steady myself against a tide of confusion and heartache. My brain only vaguely registering the angry voice of my dear cousin, and the pleading voice of my estranged, almost fiancee. It wasn't until I heard the odd ripping sound, followed by a fierce growl and a blood curdling scream that I was able to move again._

_I ran out of the door just in time to see a horrific scene.. Emily, her hands over her bloody face, screaming uncontrollably, and an ENORMOUS bear standing in front of her. As I ran towards the scene of the disaster, screaming out for Emily, the bear ran off. It was while Emily was recovering in the hospital that I learned the truth... Sam loved Emily. He said that he had simply "fallen in love" with her at first sight. The betrayal cut so deeply. I was sure that Emily would send him packing, but by the time she was released from the hospital, the betrayal was complete. Emily moved into Sam's house the day after._

As my recollection drew to a close, I realized that all eyes were on me. Sam threatened to send me home if I could not keep my thoughts under control. I huffed out a deep breath, and lay down on the ground with my head on my paws, deciding to empty my mind and simply watch the action in the minds of my pack mates. It didn't seem like a very long time had passed before things began to wrap up. Sam asked if we could get the scent of each member of their "family" so that we could avoid any accidents in the big fight.

We could have just allowed one or two of the pack to "take a sniff", but Jake pointed out that every person has their own particular sense of smell, and that it might be safer if everyone smelled for themselves. We approached warily, our noses burning as we breathed in the scent of each individual. Their nuances were subtle beneath the general sicky-sweetness. I barely looked up to identify the vampire to their scent, figuring it really didn't matter so much which scent I was avoiding. Let's face it, I was _not_ going to be forming any lasting relationships with these animated statues.

I knew that Bella's mate was at the end of the line. How sick, I thought, that a human would choose to attach themselves to a re-animated corpse. When I reached the last vampire, I didn't want to look up. I didn't want to smell… this was the person who had set this _whole_ thing in motion. Why could he not have left her alone? I knew he could hear my thoughts, so I tried to think about something else, but it was useless, as I had to now smell him.

I closed my eyes breathed in, bracing myself for the inevitable burning, and involuntary gagging. It didn't happen. I paused, and breathed in again. The scent was still too sweet, but oddly attractive.

"This can't be." I thought, sniffing again. There was a strange tension building in the air, an odd atmosphere began to surround me. I could not understand it. I smelled him again. Each time I breathed in this scent, it became more enticing. I drew closer with each intake of air, until my nose was pressed against his stomach. By now, everyone had noticed, and the pack was... _INCREDULOUS to say the least. _

Ignoring all of the shouting voices in my head, I continued to breathe in this scent. I opened my eyes, and looked up. I froze. I fell.

I welcome feedback!


	2. Chapter 2 Imprint

AN- First of all, thank you for reviewing! I hope these next few chapters are as enjoyable...

I don't have a "Beta".. I have a wonderful sister IRL who told me that she loves this story, and I have to finish it,

and all she has read so far are the first 4 chapters... so I am posting them today.

Chapter 2

_**Imprint**_

_Leah POV_

I scrambled to get back to my feet, and failed. In my shock and confusion, I had failed to notice that I had fallen to the ground in my human form. I was so embarrassed. Quickly, several coats were thrown over me, as the vampire family offered what assistance they could. The silence in the field was deafening. I looked up again at Edward. My pulse was thundering through my veins. I could not understand what was happening to me.

I was looking into his jonquil colored eyes, and swimming in a sea of mental chaos. I. Hate. Vampires. They are the bane of my existence. So, why then am I feeling this overwhelming magnetism towards this one. I cannot wrap my head around the emotions that are overtaking me.

"No, you have _got_ to be kidding me." Edward says in a quiet voice. Our eyes are locked, and I know that he is reading my mind. I know that he knows. I am mortified. I tugged at the string on my ankle, releasing the little cotton dress that my mother made me, and slipped it on.

"I am so sorry." I say under my breath. Tears were pooling in my eyes, threatening to fall.

All of this had taken place so quickly that only a few seconds had actually passed, and everyone was beginning to react. All of the wolves were going back into the woods. That frightened me a little, being left alone here with the vampires. I was relieved to see Jake running back from the tree line after a couple of seconds, in human form. He was followed by Sam.

"Can someone please explain what just happened?" asked the little spiky haired girl.

"Yes, and no." responded Jacob in a comical tone. As if this were a comical situation.

"What do you mean?" asked Carlisle. "Usually it is one way or the other."

"You remember what I explained to you about imprinting?" Edward asked to no one specific.

Everyone shook their heads in the affirmative, waiting to hear further explanation.

"How the _hell_ could this happen, Li-li?" Sam exploded. "What are you _thinking_?"

"Yeah, Sam 'cause I had _SO_ much choice in the matter. Just like YOU did!" I screamed.

By now everyone seemed to understand to grasp the situation for what it was. Everyone except for Bella. Her confusion and denial were written all over her face. She kept looking back and forth between Edward and I, like she was expecting the tension to suddenly break, and for everything to go back to normal. Nothing would ever be "normal" again.

Jake walked to Bella's side, and wrapped his arm around her shoulder. He was trying to brace her against the realization that we all knew would dawn on her momentarily. It was inevitable, and it would not be pretty. Not for any of us, and we all knew it.

"This is _impossible_!" Sam seethed.

"This is freakin' _awesome_! Somebody, get me some popcorn." said the big vampire – Emmett, I think they said was his name.

The blonde, scarred, leach (Jasper?) hit Emmett on the back of his head with an open palm, sending a loud cracking sound across the opening.

"What was that for?" Emmett whined.

"For being a dumbass." stated Jasper.

"I think that Rosalie, Emmett, Alice, Jasper, and Esme should all go back home. This is a delicate situation, and needs to be treated as such." Carlisle recommended.

The family left quickly, leaving just myself, my two pack mates, Edward, Carlisle, and Bella in the clearing. I realized that I was still sitting on the ground at Edward's feet, as he reached out his hand to assist me in standing. I took his strong, cold hand in mine, and felt an electric current pass between us. Judging from the look in his eyes, I think he felt it too.

Apparently Bella was beginning to catch up to speed with the drama playing out in front of her. As Edward was assisting me to my feet, Jacob was easing Bella to the ground. Her eyes were glazed over, and she had her arms wrapped around herself. She was shaking, and tears were pouring down her face which was warped into a horrific grimace.

Jacob was shushing her, and petting her head in an effort to sooth and comfort her. A sound escaped Bella's lips that was somewhere between a scream and a sob, it sounded strangled, and the pitch of it was ear piercing. In its wake, Edward turned towards her for the first time since I looked into his eyes.

"Bella." He choked out, as he reached out towards her.

Bella flung herself into Edward's arms, sobbing hysterically.

"Y-you can't l-l-leave me. N-not ag-g-gain!" she shrieked out. "Y-y-you promised m-me." All garbled out of her mouth through her sobs.

Edward began to whisper to her his love and affection. He rested his chin on top of her head, and sighed. His gaze shifted to meet mine, and he looked like a man lost. The bewilderment in his eyes was obvious.

For the first time in a year, I understood. I _completely_ understood the look that crossed Sam's face that fateful day in my mother's kitchen. Sam loved me, but it really didn't make a difference in the wake of an imprint. All else was lost. The only thing tying you to the world in that moment was this other person. I had seen Edward plenty of times in the memory of Jacob, but seeing him with my own eyes had changed everything. Forever. Instantaneously.

The look in Edward's eyes now reminded me of Emily's in her back yard. She was torn between her love and loyalty to me, and the magnetism that was manifesting between herself and Sam. I could see it all so clearly now. My heart was shattering into a million pieces for Bella. I wanted to take it all back. I wanted to stop this imprint. It didn't make sense anyhow. Edward was a vampire, and I am a werewolf for pity's sake. We are mortal enemies. Fate is cruel.

Jacob had a hold of Bell's hand still, and was beginning to tug on her, trying to get her to turn back towards him. Edward noticed, and glared over at him.

"You should take your hands off of Bella right now, mutt!" Edward growled.

"Why? She needs to know that I am here, too." Jacob retorted. "I am her best friend, and… and I love her as much as you do. More than you realize. More than she knows."

"Take it back!" I screamed at the heavens. "This is cruel and wrong. It is a sick, twisted joke, so.. TAKE IT BACK!"

I walked over to where Bella and Edward where standing, pleading with my eyes as I looked into Bella's.

"Forgive me, I don't want this. He is yours!" I began to cry. I knelt before her, willing her to see my sincerity.

"Order me to go away, Edward. Tell me to leave and never return!" I pleaded with him.

Edward's only response was to let a hand fall to the top of my head, and rest there, as his other arm was wrapped around Bella, who still had one arm wrapped around Edward, and one hand clinging to Jacob's.

"No." Sam said in a deep and rumbling Alpha tone. "You may _not_ leave your home and family. We will work this out."

With this command, I was bound. I was not free to leave, to run from this awful situation. I would have to face the consequences every day. The irony was not lost on me.

Bella looked at me as her sobs began to quiet a little bit. Her eyes were wide with anger and accusation. She stared at me for what felt like forever in silence. It was like she was searching for something in my eyes. She must have found it, because her eyes suddenly softened. She sighed, and slumped. As she shrugged herself out of Edward's embrace, and pulled her hand free of Jacob's grasp, she reached towards me. To my shock, Bella embraced _me_. Bella _embraced _me.

I have no idea how long we sat there, locked in a fierce hug. Everyone else was staring, we could feel their eyes boring into us, but they said nothing. Bella began to release her hold on me, and leaned back far enough to make eye contact.

"No matter what happens, I forgive you." she said in a small, but steady voice. The conviction in her tone was firm.

"How can you say that?" I choked out, completely bewildered at the selflessness being displayed. It was as if I could see the girl's soul. I had always wondered how it was possible that this simple girl in front of me had bewitched a vampire and a werewolf so completely. In that moment, I understood. She was remarkable. Even though her world was shattering around her (yet again), even though she was facing the possibility that the love of her life was going to choose another over her, she resigned herself. She took her own heart out of the equation, and was offering… forgiveness? I was astounded.

Bella stood up, drying her tears on her sleeve. She sighed deeply, wrapping her arms back around herself, as though she would fall apart if she didn't hold herself together.

"Jacob, will you please take me back home? I think these two have a few things to discuss." she said resolutely. When Edward reached towards her, she flinched a little. She shook her head, refusing to meet his eyes, instead looking at Jacob.

Jacob nodded. After telling her to wait for him to return, he ran for the tree line. He returned quickly in his wolf form, and leaned down low, inviting Bella to climb onto his back. Edward stared at them quietly as they left the clearing. He was shaking his head back and forth as if he was trying to shake free the memory of the last hour.

Please review, and let me know what you think!


	3. Chapter 3 Most Awkward Conversation

Chapter 3

_**The most awkward conversation… EVER**_

Carlisle cleared his throat. "Do you need me to stay, or shall I go home now?"

"Go home." Edward said softly, shaking his head in the affirmative at a question asked in silence.

"Sam," Edward began, "maybe you should go home too. The rest of the pack must be worried. I will see Leah safely to the treaty line."

"Take her home." Sam said with a shrug. "We are not permitted to keep an imprint away."

Sam shifted his attention to me. "Li-li, are you okay?" he asked gently.

"I don't know. I don't know anything anymore." I admitted. I grabbed Sam's hand before he could wander away, and looked him in the eyes for the first time in nearly a year without anger and hatred.

"I'm sorry" I whispered.

Sam nodded. He knew that I was talking about so much more than just tonight. He knew me well enough to know that I had seen to irony; the similarities played out here. Sam and Carlisle both left for home. Edward and I were left alone, awkwardly facing one another in the field as the sky began to lighten in the east.

"We should start walking you home." Edward stated.

I nodded in agreement and began to walk toward my home, wondering what I should say.

"I am wondering the same thing." Edward replied. "I have no idea what to say to this."

"What _is_ there to say?" I asked rhetorically.

"How about the obvious? That I am deeply in love with Bella?" he responded far more gently than I would have expected.

"I know." I stated, looking him in the eyes, my mind replaying everything the last hour or so had wrought.

"I felt it too, you know." Edward said, confusing me.

"Felt what?" I asked.

"When I helped you to stand in the clearing, when our hands touched… I felt the electrical flow too." He said. "I heard you questioning if I felt it as well. I did." He ran his hands through his hair as he looked at me, pain in his eyes.

"I felt it once before too... the first time Bella and I touched." He looked off into the distance.

"Yeah, me too; the first time Sam held my hand." I told him.

A part of me wanted to slip my hand into his. This whole "love at first sight" thing was so frustrating. I knew so little about this man -er- vampire. And yet, I felt a compelling trust. Funny that that very feeling of trust spawned fear inside of my heart. Fear of rejection. Fear that I could never be enough. I had not been enough for Sam.

My mind fell back into the usual train of thought as I tried to figure out why Sam had imprinted on Emily instead of me, even though we were already in love. The fact that up until now, there had never been a female transformation was puzzle enough. I had gone to see a gynecologist shortly after I began phasing, to figure out why I had stopped having a monthly cycle. He informed me that all testing showed pointed to early onset menopause. I was barely nineteen years old, and my uterus was already dried up. Maybe this was why fate brought Sam and Emily together. Procreation, continuation of the line. This was my theory anyhow.

"Interesting," Edward said. "sounds plausible."

I blushed. "I forget you read minds."

"I'm sorry, I am so used to having one sided conversations with my family, and oddly, I feel comfortable enough with you to forget to be careful." He admitted.

"I bet your future-seeing sister didn't see _this_ coming." I laughed.

Edward sighed deeply. "No, she didn't. If she had, I would not have come tonight. I love Bella, and I have hurt her and put her through so much already. I would have avoided allowing you to ever lay eyes on me had I known that this was coming." He admitted openly.

"I can't blame you. Nobody wants damaged goods anyhow." I began a rambling rant. "Besides, now that I have seen who she really is, I can't blame you or Jacob. Who would want me over her? There is such beauty in her soul, a simple purity. All I am is a bitter shell of the person I once was. I don't even recognize myself anymore..."

"You and Bella suffer from the same blindness. Neither of you see the inherent beauty that is you. I can see your heart in your thoughts. Even in your anger, you belittle yourself. You fail to see your own value, and have chosen to see Emily as more worthy of Sam's love than you are. You have worn your pain and heart on your sleeve as a defense, but even your pack knows that it comes from a deep seeded love."

"You don't have to be so kind, and you certainly don't have to lie to me." I accused wryly.

"_Lie_ to you? What do you think that I am lying _about_? I have been very blunt and truthful with you thus far, have I not? I told you outright that I love Bella with my whole being, and that I would have avoided you like a _plague_ had I but known that you were going to imprint on me the moment you laid eyes on me. Why would I lie to you now?"

I shrugged, unable to respond. I was so frightened. So many questions running through my mind… What comes next? In every case I had seen thus far, the imprinted couples grew to genuinely love one another in very short order, and their love lives were settled. Looked like I got to be the lucky one yet again… there was no way that my imprint would ever love me. I was the enemy.

"I must have some huge cosmic bull's eye tattooed on my back." I groaned in frustration. "It's like the 'Guy in the Sky' has a grudge against me. I mean, I must have _SERIOUSLY_ fucked up in a past life or something."

Edward's gait began to slow as we approached the treaty line. It was a line he had not crossed in over seventy years. It was obvious that he felt awkward at the thought of going into the village. I could not blame him.

"You can leave me here." I offered. "I know that this must be really strange for you. And it's not like there is really any reason for you to see me to my door. I mean, you already are in love, and I don't expect anything from you. This..." I waved my hand, indicating the imprint, and my feelings about it, "is my issue. I have no expectations of you."

Edward then shocked me by grabbing my hand, and pulling me against him. He cradled my head against his cold, marble chest and sighed deeply. It was a gentle, friendly embrace, one like I had shared with members of the family, and my pack when my dad died. There was nothing inherently intimate about this, but I could not stop the hammering of my heart at his nearness.

"This was not your doing, Leah." Edward said very softly. "I don't know how this is going to turn out. I feel so badly about it, because I too feel the draw of this '_imprint_'. To be completely honest…" he sighed and his voice trailed off. It was obvious that he was reluctant to share this "honest" thought.

I pulled away from his embrace.

"You are not obligated to tell me anything that will make you uncomfortable." I interjected.

"It's not that. It's just..."

"You really don't have to."

"But I do. I feel I owe you complete honesty. It is the only way that any of us will get through this mess. You see..."

I pressed my fingers against his lips in an effort to silence him, but he would not be deterred. He grasped my hand in his, and held it to his chest as he continued. "You see, I felt it. The moment you looked at me. Actually, I felt it the moment your nose touched me... even before you looked at me. It was like gravity moved. The earth shifted. And when you looked up at me, I knew that something was about to change forever. "

Tears began to spill from my eyes, and sobs wracked my body. Tears of joy, and grief; tears of hope, and fear; tears that I had been holding in; swallowing, and inwardly drowning in, finally exploded out of me. Edward picked me up, and carried me into the village. He took me to my house without needing directions. I can only assume that he followed my scent.

He knocked on the door, and was greeted by my very wary mother. Her eyes were frightened at the sight of a vampire, not only in our village; not only entering her house; but carrying her daughter who was _crying_. She did not say anything, but allowed him past her. He stood in the living room, shifting awkwardly as he asked where he should put me down. My mother motioned towards the couch. Edward crossed the living room, and stooped to lower me to the couch. He tried to put me down, but I clung to him.

"N-no! P-please! Don't l-let me go y-yet" I stammered through my sobs.

I had found a comfort in his arms that I did not think possible for me anymore, and I was unwilling to let it go just yet. I was so afraid that after he left me here, I would never know this kind of comfort again. I was terrified that he was going to leave, and that I would never see him again. It was only to be expected, I told myself.

Edward sighed softly, returning to a standing position. He looked at my mother apologetically, and shrugged. His arms were strong and sure. His scent (which s_hould have _burned my nose) was enticing, and comforting. His gentility was tangible. I could not bear to let him go. I was not sure if I ever _could_ let him go.

"Take her to her room. It is the first door on the left at the top of the stairs." My mother said in a gentle, resigned voice.

No doubt, everyone that knew about the werewolves had been fully informed by now about this… situation, this… fucked-up mess of an imprint. And it was; I knew it was. Fucked-up. But already, I knew that as much as I had loved Sam... As much as I had felt like I needed him... That had not held a candle to what had grown inside me heart tonight with Edward. It killed me knowing that it would not… no, _could_ not be returned.

Edward entered my room and sat on my bed. He sat me on his lap, and I clung to him. I shifted so that my legs wrapped around him, and my head was nuzzled into his neck. He began to gently rub my back with one hand, and pet my hair with the other, whispering soothing assurances to me that some way, somehow it would all turn out okay. I wanted to believe him. I was desperate to trust, to find a place of faith in my heart once again as I continued to cry until I fell asleep, spent.


	4. Chapter 4 Across the Universe

AN- Changing POV... but I promise, I will not write this in so many POV's that you get a headache,

and forget who is talking. I am only planning to use Leah and Bella.

Hope that you like..

Chapter 4

_**Across the Universe**_

Bella POV

Jacob ran me swiftly home, depositing me at the edge of the woods, in full view of my back yard while he phased back to his human form. We had run in silence. I was grateful for this. Grateful to Jacob for being there for me. He had held me together while I tried to heal during the six months that Edward and I were "apart".

It wasn't fair to him. If I'd had any fairness inside of me, I would have walked away and let him go during the few weeks after his transformation when he was avoiding me. Over the last weeks since Edward had returned I had been berating myself continually over this whole situation. Now, it seems, I had reason to be grateful that I had not let go of the "claim" that I had to his heart. I needed him now more than ever.

I could feel the zombie hovering over me again. I feel I cannot explain what I know in my heart to be true. When Edward left me in the woods, and I believed his lie… his "blasphemy" as he calls it, I felt as if a part of me had died. Tonight, I feel as if I have fallen into a sinkhole. A bottomless sinkhole. I am still falling.

Jacob helped me up the stairs, and into bed. He stood there, looking bewildered. Neither of us said anything for a while. He kept trying to look me in the eyes, but I could not let him see the depth of my agony. I could not drag him into the bottomless chasm of pain that I was floundering in.

I know in my heart that it is over for Edward and I. That whole life that I had chosen… that we were trying to build together had just been ripped away from us. I stood there and watched it happen. Everyone saw it. Leah had _imprinted_ on Edward! It was unfair. It was like destiny had conspired against us from the outset.

My heart had been ripped out of my chest once again, and now there was a whole army of newborn vampires coming for me. At this point, I truly welcomed them. I didn't _want _to live without Edward by my side.

Silent tears trickled down my cheeks. All of the thoughts rushing through my head were doing nothing to distance me from the pain, and the emptiness that was overtaking me.

Jacob stood there, watching me helplessly. I could feel his presence. I could see the panic in his body language as he hovered. I know exactly what he is seeing, and I don't want him to stand there, watching me writhe in agony, but I need him too badly to ask him to leave.

Jacob finally dropped to his knees beside my bed, and pulled me towards him. He wrapped his arms around me, and began to smooth my hair away from my face, tucking it behind my ear, and running his fingers through its length. It was such a soothing feeling. I pulled at his arms, encouraging him to climb onto the bed with me. He did, without much coaxing.

He lay behind me, pulling my back against his chest. I rested my head on his arm as a pillow, and he put his other arm around me, holding me silently. No words were needed. He knew my agony, and I knew his heart. I fell asleep, nestled in the warmth that was Jacob's embrace.

When I awake a few hours later, I felt cold. I knew instantly, before I could even see him missing that Jacob was not in bed with me anymore. I felt the trillion pieces of my heart shatter again, thinking that he had abandoned me. It wasn't fair to think that way, I knew it, but there it was. As I lied there, trying to will myself to move, I heard angry voices downstairs. It took only a second to recognize them. Charlie and Jacob were... arguing?

I got up as quietly as I could manage, and crept stealthily to the top of the stairs to listen in.

"Charlie, I know that you are confused, and I know what it probably _looked_ like, but you have to believe me, I did NOT sleep with your daughter!" Jacob was saying.

"You did too, Jacob! I opened the door to check on her, and she was in your arms, and you are half naked… and you were most definitely sleeping!" Charlie choked out angrily.

"Okay, I may have SLEPT with Bella, but we did NOT have sex. Charlie, the only time I have even kissed the girl was when she broke her hand on my jaw!"

"So explain then, why you were in her bed!" Charlie seethed through clenched teeth. "I don't understand what the Hell is going on around here! First she is in love with that… that bastard who LEFT HER ALONE IN THE WOODS! Then, when she begins to move on with her life… seemingly with you, he returns, and OH YEAH… It's like he never did anything wrong, and I have to learn to accept that this ASSHOLE is going to be in her life. Yup, a friggin' package deal! I am learning to accept it! Hell, I actually am learning to kinda LIKE the guy. And now I go into her room, to find YOU in her BED? What the HELL, Jacob? Somebody had better start making sense, and soon, cause I do NOT want to think that my daughter is becoming some cheap little tramp!" By the end, I didn't have to try to eaves' drop on the conversation, as Charlie was literally screaming at Jacob.

"Charlie, this is going to sound AB-SO-LUTE_LY insane, so bear with me, okay?" Jacob pleaded.

"Do you believe in love at first sight?" he asked? I wondered where he was going with this.

"Uh, sort of." Charlie said, with a puzzled tone. Obviously he had no idea where this question was leading to either.

"Have you ever experienced it?" Jacob asked.

"Yeah, with Renee, I fell hard the first time I laid eyes on her. Then again with Bella the first time I held her." Charlie answered, sounding a little bit hesitant. "Where are you going with this, kid?"

"What if there is a form of 'Love at First Sight' that is stronger, deeper than you have experienced?" Jacob asked, his voice sounding unsure, almost like he was pleading.

"I don't follow. So, what if there is? What does it have to do with this situation? What are you not telling me?"

"Charlie, please, just hear me out. Last night, as the graduation party started to wind down, a few of us from La Push went over there, and talked to the Cullens. It was kind of tense, but we all decided that we needed to 'bury the hatchet' with the family. So, we agreed to joint up and have an impromptu meeting of sorts. All of my friends, including Sam went to meet with the family, and of course, Bella came along." Jacob was trying to gloss over so many truths. I could not believe he was going to let Charlie in on so much. I sat there, terrified that he was going to just blurt out everything.

"You see, our tribe believes very strongly in the idea of love at first sight. We have a word for it. We call it imprinting. We believe that sometimes, two spirits are so directly linked together, so 'meant to be', that all it takes is to look at this person, and your whole life's path will become instantly clear. Your souls are mated in a heartbeat."

"That sounds insane." Charlie stated heatedly. "And I still fail to see what it has to do with_ YOU BEING IN MY DAUGHTER'S BED_."

"You see, after last night, Bella needed me for support. She needed someone to just be there for her!" Jacob said defensively.

"I don't follow. What is the connection Jacob? Stop beating around the bush and tell me what is going on. NOW."

"Leah Clearwater imprinted with Edward last night." Jacob stated finally.

"Oh." Charlie said quietly. "Oh, my. Oh, my GOD! Is she okay? Is it as bad as before?" Charlie asked as he started for the stairs.

"Well, I didn't see her in the beginning last time, but her eyes look like they did when she started coming over to see me." Jacob responded.

As they reached the bottom of the steps, and looked up to see me, they both paused. Charlie's face was pale, and his expression was so worried. I sighed, and walked down the stairs to meet them.

"Not as bad." I told him. At least, this time I already have Jacob to help me hold it together, I added mentally.

"Not as bad, but bad enough." Charlie hissed. His hatred for all things Edward increased exponentially in that moment. I could see the hatred burning in his eyes as he reached out to wrap his arms around me.

"I knew I should have forbidden you to see him after he returned." he seethed.

"You did." I reminded him. "And a part of me wishes I had listened. Another part is glad that I didn't."

"How can you say that?" Jacob asked in an accusing tone.

"It's kind of like that song that was popular when we were kids." I stated, and then quoted. "Our lives are better left to chance. I could have missed the pain, but I'd have had to miss the dance." I was amazed to find that I meant that. As I said the words, conviction began to take hold of me. I realized that no matter what happened from here on out; I would never regret the love that I experienced with Edward. My heart lurched inside my chest, expanding, and filling all of the emptiness that I had felt in these interim hours had vanished. I suddenly felt whole, like a curse had been lifted. I couldn't understand how it was possible, but looking into my father's eyes, in that moment, I knew that I was going to be okay, and that I would love again.

In my time with Edward, I had learned to open my heart to the possibility that someone could love me. Wholly, and unreservedly love me. I was loved by a wonderful man. Before fate stepped in, and took it away, Edward had loved me with his entire being. He told me that I was beautiful and wonderful. I knew enough about imprinting to know that his feelings for me had not been erased, they were merely trumped.

While Edward and I were separated, I had learned that I could heal. I learned that I could love again. My epiphany expanded with every breath. I suddenly realized that fate had stepped into our lives and orchestrated some amazing things.

Love takes many forms, and comes to us through so many avenues. Sometimes it pounces on us suddenly, taking us hostage in its greedy grasp, as it had done to Sam and Emily, and now Leah and Edward. Sometimes it offers itself as a present, waiting for you to open it, and revel in its beauty, as it had with Edward and I. Sometimes it sneaks up on us quietly, and waits silently to be recognized, as it had with Jacob and I.

I had slept peacefully in the wee-hours of the morning today. I had slept dreamlessly, feeling safe in Jacob's arms in spite of the wreckage of my heart. When I awakened without him beside me, I had panicked. This meant something.

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	5. Chapter 5 Epiphany

AN.. I want to take a second here to thank all of you who have

alerted, favorited, and reviewed my chapters. I am so awe-struck

by your comments, and the fact that you actually like my story!

Thank you!

Chapter 5

_**Epiphany**_

I remember clearly how it felt that day when I _almost_ kissed Jacob in the kitchen. (Before he answered the phone and nearly wrecked all of our lives.) There was an awkwardness, and hesitancy, but I know now that it was because I had not admitted my feelings yet... that, and the fact that I was still not ready to let go of my feelings for Edward.

My first epiphany in this life was the morning after Edward and I returned from Italy. I realized that I had not let him go because deep down, I _knew_ that he still loved me; that he had lied when he claimed to not want me anymore. It had made everything clear, and in that moment my life made sense.

I made my way back to my room, and shut my door so that I could be alone to think. I had so many thoughts raging in my head at this moment in time that I really needed to sort through them all. There was so much to consider as I wrapped me head around the knowledge that I had clearly been fighting for some time. I loved Jacob.

This epiphany was much the same, but I was seeing a great many things more clearly. I now knew that the love that I shared with Edward was truly beautiful, but it was flawed. For it to work-to fulfill us, it would require that one of us change… and as Edward was forever frozen into a perfectly beautiful, un-aging form, it would be me that had to do the changing. Not that I had been unwilling to do so. I had been begging him for months to change me. And… because of the fact that I was a frail human, and he was practically a living stone, we could never express our love fully _until_ I was changed. It was a matter of logistics. All it would take is for Edward to have momentarily lost control in the heat of passion, and what would have been intended as a caress could have ended as him crushing me. Literally.

Love should not be so lopsided. I knew that from the onset of things, but refused to see it. He was always correcting me, and telling me that I was wrong, that I already gave him all he could ever need by entrusting him with my heart, but I knew that he longed for more between us. I had felt the evidence on more than one occasion. The handful of times that he let down his obsessive guard long enough for our hugs to become embraces, our kisses to become passionate, I had felt all the evidence I needed pressed against my hip, and thighs. What we had was beautiful, but it would never be enough without a permanent change.

Leah was a werewolf. This meant accelerated speed in healing, and a _huge_ deal more resilience than my own. I had punched Jacob once, square on the jaw with all of my might, but he didn't even feel it. It broke my hand. Werewolves were able while in their human forms to have real human contact, without fear of causing damage, but they were so much stronger physically, it made me wonder if there was a possibility that Leah and Edward could have a truly fulfilling relationship. I wondered suddenly if they would be able to have a real life together, without one of them having to change. I mean, if things got too rough, and he accidently did hurt her, she would heal so quickly…

Face-palm.

I cannot believe that I am thinking these things. How can I be thinking about Edward being intimate with someone else? I am clearly losing my mind. I mean, I love him… don't I?

Suddenly, and for the first time in over a year I am doubting. Why is my heart not aching right now like it did last night? Why am I wanting more than anything for Jacob to barge through my bedroom door right now, and hold me in his arms? His strong, warm arms…

Okay, I suddenly realized that I was spending way too much time analyzing emotional baggage when there were much bigger events looming on my horizon… scary-big events that had me up at night, fearing for my werewolf friends and my vampire family.

I gathered together some clothes, and ran to the bathroom to shower and change. I knew that there were still preparations to be made for the impending battle.

I stumbled my way back down the stairs to find Jacob. He was sitting at the table with Charlie in the kitchen, eating an _enormous_ bowl of cereal. (Much to Charlie's amusement.) They both turned to me as I entered the kitchen with matching expressions of concern in their eyes.

"Where's the fire, Bells?" asked Charlie.

"I just realized that Jacob didn't tell Billy that he was here, and he must be worried, so I figured I would drive him home." I explained lamely.

"I already called him to let him know." Jake responded tightly, searching my face for some hint as to the _real_ reason for my rush.

"Oh, well I guess there's no rush, then." I said as I reached for a normal sized cereal bowl of my own. "Did you leave any for me?" I asked Jacob as playfully as I could muster, trying to distract Charlie from his thoughts.

"Yeah, there should be some." Jacob said in an unsure voice. I poured the pithy amount of Wheaties into my bowl, and pouted at Jacob who shrugged, and grinned sheepishly.

"What are your plans today, dad?" I asked him as nonchalantly as I could manage, while sitting down to pick at my bowl.

"Well, Billy asked me to go fishing with him again. I told him I would call him back in a few to give him an answer, but we are already way later than usual, so if you want me to stay.." he offered.

"Oh, no! Honestly, dad I am fine. Jacob is going to keep me company today, aren't you Jake?"

"Sure, sure." He answered with a small smile.

Charlie got up, and reached for the phone. "You sure?" he asked before he dialed.

"Of course. We already had plans today anyhow." I offered.

Jacob looked at me with a suspicious glance, trying to figure out what I was up to. I offered him a weak smile, trying to encourage him to trust me. He seemed to understand, and chimed in to back me up.

"Yup, and I am going to make her stick to her word, and spend the day with me." he beamed at Charlie.

Charlie nodded and dialed the phone. After a very short conversation which consisted of grunted "Yups" and "uh-huhs", Charlie hung up. I giggled.

"What are you laughing at?" he asked, clearly at a loss.

"Nothing, dad!" I laughed. "You just made me think of 'Tim, the Tool Man' with all of the grunting." And I laughed even harder. Jake joined me.

"Whatever." He grunted again, and left without saying goodbye as Jacob and I laughed harder still, holding our sides, and imitating the grunts our dads always make back and forth. We laughed for a while before the moment subsided, and the mood began to shift.

"How is it that you are so… okay right now?" Jacob asked, reaching for my hand. Normally, I always hesitated before allowing him to touch me, but this morning, I reached back, taking his hand into mine, twining our fingers together. He looked at me in awe.

"I had an epiphany, Jake." I said, looking him in the eyes. "I realized this morning that there are more kinds of love out there than I had ever considered. There is nothing wrong with allowing oneself to take comfort from a friend. And I realized that there is something much stronger than an imprint."

"What is that supposed to mean?" he asked me, searching my eyes as if to extract my thoughts from their depths.

"It means that I have come to understand something that I suspected to be true before, but didn't trust." I said cryptically, dropping my gaze to my lap.

The phone rang at that moment, saving me from a conversation that I was sure was coming too soon on the heels of what should have been the biggest heartbreak of my life.

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	6. Chapter 6 Learning More about Bella

Disclaimer: I own nothing in the Twilight universe.. I am simply borrowing some of Stephanie's charaters.

Chapter 6

_**Learning More About Bella**_

"Hello?" I said into the receiver.

"Bella, thank God!" Alice breathed. "I have been so terribly worried. Are you okay?"

"Yes, Alice, I really am." I stated truthfully. There was silence on the other end. I tend to think it was disbelief.

"Honestly, Alice. I am okay. I don't know how to explain it, but I am okay. How is everyone there?" I asked. I left out the part where I wanted to know if Edward was okay.

"I don't understand _either_ of you!" Alice said, obviously angry, and through clenched teeth. "You are the love of each other's _lives_, and then you aren't? What the hell, Bella?"

"This is _not_ a conversation to hold over the phone. I will explain to you soon, I promise, Alice." I said gently. "But right now, we need to talk strategy, don't we? When will they be here?"

This successfully distracted Alice from her train of thought, and reminded her that there were definitely more pressing issues facing us.

"Next Saturday. I actually called to ask if you know where Edward is." She stated flatly.

"Um, no." I mumbled, surprised that she would have to ask. "You're telling me that you don't already know what he has been up to?"

"No I don't. _Actually_, I was hoping that is had something to do with him grabbing you, and making a run for it, and just not deciding where to go for now. I can see that the other option must be true." She sighed.

"What other option?" I asked, confused.

"He is with the _bitch_." She spat into the receiver.

"Whoa, Alice, dial it back! Leah didn't ask for this anymore than you or I!" I insisted.

"What?" Alice practically screamed. "What did you just say? That... that GIRL just stole my family structure! She stole a whole life from all of us! Bella..." her voice died down into a sob. "Bella, you were going to be my sister, and I love you! I can't lose you."

"Alice." I sighed. "Edward may be with Leah now, and our relationship may have- no, HAS changed, but that does not mean I am not going to be a part of your life!" I assured her. "I will always love you. You ARE my sister, nothing is going to change that, no matter _WHO_ Edward and I end up with."

"Oh, Bella!" Alice choked. "I am so glad to hear you say that. I have been so worried about it. It has been so hard recently, not being able to see ahead because of the wolves, and the stupid newborn situation! And, now, I cannot even see what is going to happen with either you _or_ Edward." She began to go on a rant. "Which makes sense for Edward, because _obviously_ he is going to choose to mate with a _mutt_, but why can't I see what is coming for you? I mean, yesterday… Yesterday I could see your wedding, and how beautiful you looked, and how happy you two were as you were saying your vows! Now, I can't see anything for Edward _or_ you... and when I try to see Charlie, that is all muddled too… I keep seeing him holding a sweet little baby, but... Oh, oh! Bella?" her tangent came to an abrupt end.

"Alice, I don't think I want to know what you are seeing at the moment." I told her matter-of-factly.

"Have you _tried_ calling Edward yet?" I asked her, hoping to distract her again.

"No, I have been stalling on that." She admitted.

"Why?" I asked.

"Because a big part of me knew last night when the wedding vision disappeared, that he was going to choose her." She whined. "And I don't know how to handle this."

"Alice, is there going to be another training session tonight?" I asked tersely, trying to dissuade her yet again.

"Yes, same time, same place. We actually plan to train all week."

"I'll pass it on to Jake and Sam. I am sure someone will be there." I told her. "I probably will be there too. It is my protection that this is all about, and I have no intentions of turning my back on that fact. I will not let you all go through all of this for me, and NOT be there in whatever capacity I can be to support you."

"Fine, I will see you tonight, then." Alice said tightly.

"Yes, tonight." I responded. "And, Alice?"

"Yes, Bella?" she asked sharply.

"Alice, I love you!" I said as I hung up the phone.

I turned back towards Jacob, who I had all but forgotten during the strained conversation with my dear friend, and almost sister. I was so glad that he was there. Without even thinking it through, I threw myself into his lap, and wrapped my arms around him, burying my head in his broad chest.

"Wow." Jacob said softly. "I was not expecting this."

He held me there for a few minutes, stroking my hair, and my back. The moment was so tender, and comfortable that I decided that I would throw all of my carefully constrained caution with Jacob out of the window. In that moment, I didn't care that there were hungry newborn vampires coming to get me. I didn't care that less than twelve hours ago, I was planning a life with someone else. I didn't even care that I had never admitted to Jacob that I had all of these feelings for him, or that I was indeed attracted to him. (No need to deny it to myself anymore, either) All I cared about was what we were feeling right now, in this moment, and it was beautiful.

I lifted my head, and placed a hand on the side of Jacob's face. I stared deeply into his eyes, and willed him to see the truth of this moment between us as I leaned in, and pressed my lips softly against his. His response was overwhelming, as he crushed me against himself. He didn't hesitate for a moment, sucking my bottom lip into his mouth, and caressing it with his tongue. I opened my mouth, inviting him to deepen the kiss. When our tongues collided, and caressed each other, I sighed deeply into his mouth. In all of the kisses I had shared with Edward, none had ever been like this.

This was a new experience all together. Our mouths were twisting together, both soft and yielding to the other. The heat radiating off of Jacob was comforting, and enticing. _He_ was not pushing me away. He was pulling me even _closer_, allowing the need for closeness to guide him. There was not a need to keep me "safe". It was amazing, and beguiling. I didn't want to stop kissing him. I broke away long enough to breathe, but even then, the kissing didn't stop. He trailed hot wet kisses across my jaw, towards my ear, and down my neck. I began to feel things in my body that I had never experienced before.

I tangled my hands into his hair, and pulled his head backwards until I could see into his eyes. I stared deeply into their beautiful dark-brown depths, and saw in them nothing but love and trust, and raw desire. It was the desire that pushed me over the edge, and caused a response more animalistic, more wanton than I had ever experienced before.

I threw myself into the kiss with deep abandon, and shifted in the chair so that I was straddling his lap. I ran my hands over his bare back, and kissed his neck, his collar bone, and throat, tasting him, and moving against him. I could feel the evidence of his arousal against the inside of my thigh, and it made me groan with desire. I shifted myself so that the tell-tale bulge was right where I wanted to create friction, and began to grind my pelvis against his.

Jacob moaned loudly, thrusting against me. He slid his hands inside the back of my shirt, groping my skin. He shuddered, and growled as we ground against each other, giving in to reckless abandon. We were beginning to spiral out of control, and we both knew it. I was so far gone that I did not care whether this was right or wrong, I just knew that I wanted it.

"I want you, Jacob." I whispered as I bit at his earlobe.

Suddenly, Jacob froze. His breath was ragged, and he rested his forehead against mine, trying to catch his breath. He grabbed me gently by my upper arms, and he stood us up, holding me away from him.

"No." he said in a deep and gravelly voice. "Not like this."

"But I want you." I said huskily. I reached forward and placed my hand against his stomach, looking up at him through my lashes. I tried to siphon all of my lust and longing into my eyes as I looked at him.

"Damn it, Bella. We can't do this." He said, shaking his head, trying to clear his mind.

"Why? Why can't we do this, Jake?" I pleaded.

"Because if I make love to you, Bella..." He paused, and squinted, like he was searching for the right words. I waited.

"No," he corrected, "_When _I make love to you, it is not going to be under the shadow of impending doom, or the weight of your broken heart. _When_ I make love to you, it is going to be a natural progression of the expression of our love. And, while it may be heated, and passionate… it will not be a knee-jerk reaction to some freaking "epiphany" you just had."

I locked eyes with him. I didn't understand why he brought that up.

"You think that I don't know that you were about to tell me that you _just _figured out that you love me?" he asked. "I know you Bella. I know you better than anyone else. Probably better than your _Edward" _he spat the name, "ever did. I have known that you love me ever since the night I tried to tell you about me being a werewolf. I knew back then that eventually you would figure it out. I also knew that you would try to do something drastic as soon as you did, because you are a person of extremes. When you make up your mind about something, you always try to do something concrete about it… something that will make you not want to second-guess yourself. I knew that at some point today you were going to kiss me. I knew it. I didn't expect you to try to _seduce_ me!" he was laughing at the end of his little rant. And as hard as I tried, I could not help but laugh at myself.

I blushed deeply, and looked down at the floor. I was so embarrassed. I had almost done something similar to Edward when we first kissed. It was like there was this whole other version of me that I didn't understand. This other Bella was aggressive, sensual, and demanding; not shy and meek at all. They say you learn something new every day…

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	7. Chapter 7 In the Morning Light

Disclaimer: I own nothing in the Twilight universe.. I am simply borrowing some of Stephanie's charaters.

Chapter 7

_**In The Morning Light**_

Leah POV

I woke up with a start. Looking around me, I could clearly see that I was in my room, and on my bed. For some reason, it felt like I had slept on the ground. As I stretched, I breathed in, and smelled him. Everything came rushing back to me in an instant. The imprint, Bella's forgiveness, the walk home… I had _cried._ I hadn't even cried when my father died.

I turned around, expecting to find an empty bed with a note. Something along the lines of.. "_You are a wonderful girl, and I wish you the best, but I could never want to be with a dog, so I am going to get Bella and go away forever."_

Instead, there was Edward, lying on his side, watching me with curious eyes. He laughed and shook his head, clucking his tongue at me.

"Still not seeing yourself clearly."

"You stayed." I said. It was not a question, it was an awe-struck statement of fact.

"I almost left, really. But as I was going to leave, your mother met me at the foot of the stairs. She stood there, sizing me up for several minutes… and staring me down. She told me to come into the kitchen. She had some things she wanted to know, and some things that she wanted to tell me.

She told me about how close you and your father were, that you were your "daddy's little girl", and that Sam had already asked for your hand in marriage right before the phasing began. She told me that she knew that you two had gotten serious, and that your heartbreak had caused so much pain for your father and herself. They didn't know how to fix it.

She told me that the night he died, you were pleading with him to stay, to walk you down the aisle someday, and to dance with you at the reception. She told me that you cried as you begged him to stay, and that his last breath was an apology to you that he could not fulfill that request. She told me that something died inside of you that night too. That you dried your tears, and your heart turned hard and bitter.

Then, she began to cry, and told me that she saw the tenderness I had shown, and the tears you were finally shedding. She said that she has been praying that I would come into your life, and that she is grateful for me. She begged me not to hurt you. She begged me not to run."

I sat there, staring into the depths of his amber eyes, trying to read his mind. Wanting to know what he was thinking about it all as he told me everything my mother had shared with him. I needed to know if he had stayed out of pity, or obligation, or had he stayed because there was hope that he could have genuine feelings for me.

I knew that he could hear my thoughts, so I reached out to him with my mind, begging him to tell me what I was too afraid to ask. He closed his eyes, and pinched the bridge of his nose. He looked like a man deep in thought. I waited patiently for him to speak again.

"When a person becomes a vampire, everything that they are is amplified, and frozen for all time. It takes a huge event to change a vampire in any way. I never felt the need for someone in my life as a young man, even before I was turned. Afterwards, I felt much the same. I loved my family, and enjoyed spending time with all of them, but I never felt the need to find a mate. I had always been self-sufficient, and really didn't understand how an individual could need to be so tied to another. To me, that was inconvenient. I saw how happy my 'parents' made each other, and my siblings too, I saw their happiness being drawn from each other. I could even hear it in their minds, but there was this disconnect for me. "

I listened with rapt attention to what he was telling me, watching the emotions play across his mouth and brow as he spoke. He appeared to be making a soliloquy. He was gazing into the distance, and it looked like he was simply verbalizing thoughts, not really speaking _to_ me. I was fascinated with the fact that he would open up like this, but I was a little bit unnerved that he was not looking at me. I was afraid that he was making this speech that would lead up to a goodbye.

"Even when we were in Denali, with an almost all female tribe of vampires, I didn't really want to spend the time to know any of them… at least not well enough to risk an emotional tie. It isn't even like I just didn't feel the need, I was paranoid that I might some time begin to, and I fought it with everything inside me. So much so that, while vampires are inherently sexual beings, just as our human selves were; I had always fought against that side of me. I refused to think about anything related to physical intimacy. I think I shut down that part of my brain at some point in my human existence. While there are a lot of things that I don't really remember clearly about my human life, I do remember that even as a young teenager, when most boys are going through their awkward phase of… well, let's just say when they are testing the theory that they will go blind… I didn't really do that so much. Like I said, there was a disconnect for me."

Suddenly, Edward turned his gaze to me, his eyes boring into me. I knew that he was finally getting to the point of his oration. I was so nervous that I had a hard time looking him in the eye, but he reached out, and placed a finger under my chin, lifting my face, and locking onto my eyes before he continued.

"It was not until I started trying to get to know Bella, to figure out why I can't hear her thoughts, that I suddenly found a connection. I fought it at first. I was outraged that a simple human could get to me. I told myself that it was just because I didn't know how she kept me out of her mind, that this was the only explanation as to why I was so fascinated with her. It wasn't until she was already occupying my every thought that I realized that I was in love. I had changed, irrevocably. "

He paused again, and swallowed hard, like he was about to say something difficult. My heart was pumping wildly in my chest as I looked into his intense eyes.

"I learned the hard way that I could no longer live without love. I thought it was that I could not live without Bella, but I realize now that it is a connection that I truly crave. That was what changed. I went from being a solitary man who did not know love, and therefore didn't need it, to a man who was immersed and entrenched in a love that was impossible. It was like a person trying heroin, just once, and becoming a life -long junkie after their first hit."

He moved closer to me, so that our faces were mere inches apart as he seemed to be considering how to continue his story.

"What I know now, after a long night of watching you sleep, and wrestling with my thoughts is this… I can choose who to love. So can Bella. She very nearly chose Jacob in my absence. I know this to be true. The connection that they formed is far too deep for a friendship. My coming back into her life derailed what could have been a significantly more healthy relationship for her. I could never be intimate with her. Physically. I could do her much harm, even kill her. She deserves to be loved in every sense of the word.

I know from the little bit of intimacy that we _did_ share, that she is a very passionate person, and will make an eager lover some day. The only way that I can share that with her is if I change her into what I am. This existence is difficult at best. I will always have to fight against evil desires, and I do not wish this on anyone, least of all Bella."

"So, what are you saying?" I finally broke in, needing him to stop talking about physical intimacy... especially when it pertained to someone else. While I did not have a claim on this beautiful man, I could not sit here another minute listening to him talk like this. I needed to know where we stood. I needed to know if he was about to walk out of my door, and life forever.

"I am saying that I do not feel the connection to Bella anymore. At some point this morning, there was this sense of release that came over me. I don't know how to explain it, other than that there is a part of me that knows that Bella has made her choice. She is going to move on with her life.

I am saying that in that moment, when you imprinted on me, I felt lost in a vortex of emotion, not knowing to whom my heart belonged. I have concluded that it belongs to me. As such, it is mine to give, or not."

I tried to look down, and away from his intense gaze so that I could process what he was telling me. I was missing something, I knew it, and looking into his eyes was messing with my ability to think clearly.

He released his hold on my chin, and allowed me a moment to consider what he was saying. I really did not know where he was going with all of this even after several minutes of mulling it over, trying to connect the dots. Somewhere I was missing a piece of information. Did he say something that I missed? I felt no more understanding now than I had before he locked his eyes onto mine.

He sighed heavily. "Let me put it this way, and I promise to be less cryptic." He said. "I am certain that Bella is going to put me behind her, and pursue another relationship soon. I don't know how I know this, but I am absolutely certain of it. I plan to get to know you, Leah. I plan to move on with my life, or existence… whatever one might want to call it. I want to find out who you are, and see if we connect in any way other than some outside 'force' trying to bond us. Does this answer your questions satisfactorily?"

I looked up into his eyes again, nodding furiously. I didn't trust myself to say anything, as the torrent of thoughts flowing through my mind were incoherent enough without my trying to verbalize them. He smiled, and seemed to understand.

"In short, Leah; last night you were a stranger, a werewolf that I had no intention of knowing as a person. Now, after all that has passed, and in the light of a new day, I see hope for a new beginning. A new chapter in our lives." He held his hand out to me, and I placed mine into it.

"I like the sound of that. And I want to get to know you too, vampire." I smiled. It did still seem strange, me feeling anything but spite for a vampire, but overnight this beautiful creature beside me had become more than just a vampire to me. Edward was a man, and although I had a very difficult time discerning where the imprint ended, and the genuine feelings and thoughts of my heart began, I had a feeling that if I had been able to meet him as a human, I would have been drawn to him of my own accord. This thought made me happy.

"Thank you. I am honored by that simple thought." Edward smiled. He lifted my hand to his mouth, and brushed his lips against my fingers. "This is the 'you' I want to know!"

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	8. Chapter 8 They say It's Hard to Do

Disclaimer: I own nothing in the Twilight universe… I am simply borrowing some of Stephanie's characters.

Chapter 8

_**They Say It's Hard to Do…**_

Bella POV

Jacob and I went to La Push, to let the pack know that there were to be more training sessions throughout the week, and that the battle was coming this Saturday morning. After discussing logistics with the pack, Jacob and I went into his garage, and spent the rest of the day joking, and talking like old times as he tuned up the Rabbit.

Only, it was not like old times - not really. There was a lightheartedness that did not belong on the heals of battle planning, and heartbreak. I considered this as he tinkered around under the car. I started considering what made the difference. The only thing that I was able to work out was that in the long run, love had to be a choice. In order for love to really be whole, it had to be a conscious choice. I had never really felt that choice with Edward, it had always felt like inevitability. Maybe, I thought, just maybe imprinting is something that happens to one extent or another in any species. Humans call it love at first sight. Werewolves call it imprinting. Vampires call it being mated. I had seen it at work in Carlisle and Esme. I had seen it with Alice and Jasper, and Rosalie and Emmett as well. The closest any of them had come to "choosing" their mate was probably Rosalie, who chose to save Emmett after his bear attack, but even then, I wonder how much was choice, and how much was just that unspoken, mystical connection that she felt when she saw him.

Maybe I'll never know. Maybe fate really does rule over every relationship, and we are just it's pawns. For all I know, my "choosing" Jacob now is simply a reaction to the pull I feel towards his human side's experience of love at first sight towards me. Who knows, I shrugged to myself mentally. All I know is that allowing myself to feel something for Jacob has given me a new sense of freedom, and self-awareness.

"Are you hungry?" Jake asked me, breaking me out of my reverie. I looked at my watch, and saw that it was already six in the evening. The day had flown by, and the sun was beginning to sink towards the west. I had only eaten half of my scant bowl of cereal this morning, and nothing else since. I was sure that Jake must be starving by now.

"Sure, I could eat." I nodded.

Jacob took my hand, and helped me up, leading me out of the garage. Once outside, we noticed for the first time how quiet everything was outside. The lights were off in the house. We had expected to see Billy and Charlie playing cards around the table. Instead, we found a note.

_Kids,_

_If and when you find this, come on over to the Clearwater's. _

_Sue is making her famous pulled pork BBQ, and invited everyone. _

_Charlie is there with me._

_Billy_

We read the note, and quickly debated the idea. In the end, Jake's stomach won out, and we headed over.

I was not surprised to see the whole pack there. Sam and Emily came, and greeted me warmly. I noticed that Emily's hug was tighter, and more lingering than I was used to, and figured that it was her way of letting me know that she knew what was going on, and showing her concern. I smiled widely at her, telling her silently that I was okay, but Emily started shaking her head, her eyes full of concern. I could not imagine why she was reacting the way she was… until I heard his voice.

Edward was sitting under a tree, away from the fire, with Leah on his lap. Something inside of me felt like it was breaking as I watched him tuck her hair behind her ear, and run the back of his finger over her cheek. I recognized the gesture. Somewhere inside of me, the girl that had belonged to Edward reared her head in rebellion. I didn't understand why my heart was reacting this way. How could I be so self-assured of my decision one minute, and so broken the next? Where was my conviction about choice?

In that moment, I felt like a newly recovering addict being presented with their drug of choice. I felt a longing, and physical pain shoot through my whole being. My knees buckled, and my vision went dark.

I didn't really lose consciousness, I just fell under the enormous _weight_ of my choice. Had I actually thought that I could get over that bond in less than a day? Who was I kidding? I knew that the choice was mine. Would I stake a claim on this man, and pull him away from the one person I know needs the kind of love he has to give, or would I walk away with dignity, and place my heart in the hands of the man who had helped to hold me together during my darkest days of existence?

I looked around me to see Jacob kneeling on my right side, one hand cradling my head, the other cupping my cheek. His eyes were full of concern and frustration. Edward was kneeling on my left side, eyes wild with concern, and what appeared to be panic. I looked him in the eyes, and nodded my head, trying to affirm to him that I was okay.

I took Jake's hand from my face, and kissed his palm as I sat up. He helped me to a standing position, and kept asking me if I was okay. I tried my best to assure him that everything was fine. He didn't believe me.

Leah was hovering in the background, watching the scene play out, and looking very worried. I could not blame her. I decided to ignore the men beside me, and walked towards Leah, wanting a moment alone with her. I needed to let her know that despite what just happened, I was not planning on doing anything to cause Edward to leave her side.

"Leah, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have come." I began, "There was a note, and we were hungry, and it said we were invited, and…" my voice trailed off.

"You were absolutely invited." Leah managed in a small voice, doing her best to be polite.

"I know what it must have looked like, but really, Leah, I'm okay. I just wasn't expecting to see you two _together_ so soon." I blurted out.

"Well, I know how it must have looked to you, but Edward and I aren't really '_together_'. We are trying to get to know one another, to see if we could even be compatible." She offered awkwardly.

The moment was so absurd, and the whole scenario so bizarre that we both broke out into peals of laughter. Suddenly, she felt like an old friend, a kindred spirit in whom I could confide. As I looked into her nervous eyes, I saw the soul of an unsure, wounded girl staring back at me. I recognized myself in her eyes. It was so surreal that we were being woven together into this odd little group of messed up dysfunction. The only response that was rational under these circumstances _was_ laughter.

"What a mess." I declared through my tittering.

"You know it!" She howled in response.

We ended up with our arms around each other, laughing until tears streamed down our faces, while everyone else looked on in shock and bewilderment. Thankfully, Charlie had been inside the house when everything happened. I don't think that he would have been able to contain his anger towards Edward. I am really not sure that he was aware of Edward's presence on the premises in the first place. Thankfully, everyone had regained some composure before Charlie came out of the house. He glared at Edward as he approached us.

"What in the hell do you think you are doing here?" he demanded.

"I invited him, Charlie." Sue hedged. "And while I know that you have reason to be upset with this young man, I expect you to act with some decorum."

"Fine, I'll leave." Charlie spat towards Edward.

Sue stepped in front of him, and placed her hand on his chest, effectively stopping him in his tracks. She looked up into his eyes, pleading with him to stay.

"Charlie, we have been friends for so long. You have been my rock since Harry…" her voice broke on his name, "I want you stay. I know you are struggling, but look at it through my eyes for a minute. I told you how good he was to Leah through this." Her voice barely audible (to human ears).

"Sue.." Charlie breathed out, calming visibly under her influence.

"I need you here. You give me so much strength and support. Please don't go." She entreated.

Charlie stepped close to her, and put his arms around her. He looked so conflicted.

"I'll stay… for you, but keep him away from me. I don't think I can be civil to him right now." Charlie acquiesced, resting his cheek on Sue's head before releasing her from their brief embrace.

It was the first time I had ever seen my father hold a woman in his arms. I was taken a bit back at the sight. I had never thought about my father being in a relationship. Watching the tenderness pass them, I could totally see potential in this. I knew that it had not been very long since Harry died, but I could definitely see the beginnings of romance between them.

The rest of the evening was quiet, albeit tense. Edward excused himself after a little while, thanking sue for her hospitality, and went home. Charlie was much more relaxed after that.

Leah and I stayed close throughout the evening. It seems odd that the one person that everyone would have expected me to avoid, the one person that _I_ would have thought I would not be able to stand to be around is the one person I feel I can relate the most to. Until last night, Leah had barely been a "blip on my radar", someone that I would never have thought to forge any lasting bond with. Now, I felt like she was becoming a dear friend. I knew enough of her history to know that if anyone understood what was going on in my heart, oddly enough, it would be her.

Leah and I stayed close, talking quietly until after dark. She told me how tenuous everything felt right now. That she had so many fears about this whole mess. I felt nothing but sympathy, and compassion for her. Even when she talked about how she was feeling about Edward, and her longing to build a solid foundation for a real relationship with him, I could not feel jealous. I even found myself talking to her about the feelings that I was beginning to accept that I had for Jacob. It was perhaps the unlikeliest of friendships ever birthed.

As everyone left the Clearwater's house, and went to their respective homes, Jacob and I lingered. We talked quietly with Leah about the training session tonight. Leah and I planned to be there. It was a given. We both stood to lose so very much. Leah was, of course much more confident that I about the outcome. Everyone but myself seemed to think that this was going to be a cake walk. All I could think about was the possibility of someone that I loved being hurt.

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	9. Chapter 9 Whoa! Now That's What I Call

AN… Thank you, _big and heartfelt_ to **all** who have reviewed, and

To all who have alerted and favorite this story! I am touched, truly!

I read them all, and have responded to most. I was so nervous about

whether or not people were going to like my story, and writing style!

If you have any ?'s I am more than willing to answer.

Chapter 9

_**Whoa! Now That is What **_

_**I Call a Connection**_

Leah POV

Somebody pinch me, please?

No, _seriously_, somebody!

I have walked around for a year now, in a fog of depression, and shrouded in bitterness. Twenty-four hours ago, I was trudging towards this same field with my pack, resenting every step that brought me closer to a face-to-face meeting with a species that I loathed. Tonight, I make this journey with a light heart, and hope… _I HAVE HOPE _in my heart.

Tonight the setting is entirely the same. There will be vampires. There will be training for battle with _other_ vampires. Most of the pack will be there. It is my view of the setting that has so drastically altered. Tonight I am going to see HIM. Tonight, I am _running_ to the field. Tonight, I want to watch. I want to see my vampire. Is it too soon to think like that? Probably, but I cannot help myself.

We are a good three miles from the clearing when I feel something. I cannot explain it, but I can _feel_ Edward inside of my head. When he left last evening, to go home to his family, and share with them all that took place, I felt so connected to him… and I felt it when the connection was broken. Somehow, I can feel him.

_Edward? _I think as forcefully as I can. _Can you hear me? I think you can. I _think_ I can feel you here with me... in my head._

The strangest thing happened then, and if I hadn't experienced it for myself, I would never have believed it! As I was thinking intently, willing Edward to hear me, and running at speeds I don't think I have ever achieved (which is saying something, as I am the fastest in my pack), I heard a voice _in my head._ I heard _his_ voice. _INSIDE_ MY HEAD.

_Leah! Holy crap, but she's fast! So graceful... wait! She's hearing, What? _I heard from his mind. His thoughts sounded absolutely thunderstruck.

_Can you really _hear_ me, Leah?_

_Yes, Edward, I can hear you. How can this be?_

_I don't know! No one has ever heard my thoughts… well, no one but Aro and… _there was a momentary break in his thoughts. _I'm sorry, I let my mind run away with me, I didn't mean to._ He was apologizing. This thought seemed abrupt, and I was lost.

_What? I don't follow… You said no one has ever heard you except for someone named Aro, and then you were silent. What is the apology for? _I asked just as I reached the tree line at the edge of the field.

_You didn't hear my crazy little rant? _He asked.

_No, I heard "no one but Aro, and…" and then you were apologizing. What did I miss?_

_Hmm.. just a second…_ he projected.

I quickly phased, and donned my cotton dress before entering the clearing. As I approached the family, I noticed odd looks on their collective faces. They were watching Edward in silence, like they were waiting for an explanation. Alice in particular looked incredulous. They stood like statues, waiting for… something.

"Did you hear that?" Edward asked aloud.

"Hear what?" I returned, allowing my puzzlement to show in my voice.

_I think you can only hear my thoughts when I intentionally direct them towards you._ He replied into my head.

"Wow!" I responded verbally. "How is this possible?"

"Edward, what is going on?" asked Carlisle, sounding fairly exasperated.

"I can hear him." I answered too quickly for Edward to respond.

The family, who already wore matching perplexed expressions, now dropped their jaws, openly expressing their shock. They quickly regained their composure, and shifted out of their awkward stances.

"How?" growled Alice, her voice dripping with hostility. "How does this work? She imprints, and you succumb? You give her everything you are, even your _mind_? How could you?"

Alice stepped toward Edward, her eyes wild, her stance threatening. Jasper responded quickly, grabbing her around the waste, and pulling her against his chest. The atmosphere began to change, and there was a peace that descended around us. It felt like a fog, a tangible cloud. I assumed Jasper to be using his gift to calm the situation so that Edward could explain.

"Alice, I cannot even begin to explain." Edward said. "I told you everything this evening. All that I have _consciously_ given is my word that I will get to know Leah. I don't know how to explain this. I've already admitted to you all that I feel some sort of connection here."

_Alice and Carlisle both think that we were intimate at some point while we were together today, er yesterday... whatever… they both suspect that forming a physical bond could be the only thing that would allow for such a strong tie. _He projected towards me, wanting me to understand the anger Alice was expressing.

"But, you didn't even kiss me!" I stated, surprised that such an assumption would have been made.

"I know, and now they do too!" Edward smirked. "I figured if you responded like that, then they might believe more easily than if I simply told them so."

Carlisle cleared his throat, and looked at me apologetically. I shrugged. I figure that they don't know me yet, so having them assume something of that nature with regards to me was not a big deal, but they knew Edward far better than I. It made me wonder about his background, maybe I misunderstood what he was saying in yesterday morning. It sounded to me like he was a virgin. Did I misunderstand something?

_No, Leah. You didn't misunderstand anything. I am completely inexperienced. They just assumed because the bond between us is already forming. And attachment has clearly been made, and they are trying to make sense of it. _Edward explained.

I blushed crimson. Knowing that he was completely innocent (with regard to physical love) made me feel suddenly awkward. I was glad when we could hear the rest of the pack arriving at the edge of the clearing. This was a conversation that needed to be tabled for later. I figured I was going to have to try to explain to the pack what they had undoubtedly heard going on inside my head before I had phased back to myself. (In my mind, it was always the wolf that is "other", I am _human_.)

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	10. Chapter 10 Planning to Win

AN.. Sorry this took a few days longer to get written and

posted than I had anticipated. Pesky RL.

I want to thank everyone who has been reading and reviewing!

I appreciate hearing from you! Your comments make me smile!

As always, SM owns, I borrow!

Chapter 10

_**Planning to Win**_

Leah POV

I was a bit surprised when I noticed several members of the pack phasing back to their human forms. Sam and Jacob strolled out easily into the clearing first, followed by a few nervous man-child types. At least, that is how I viewed my wolf-pack brethren.

Bella walked in just head of the pack, presumably giving them time to dress. Jacob jogged slightly to catch her up, putting an arm around her waiste and drawing her close to his side. It was an overtly territorial display. I shook my head, feeling badly for Jake. He was obviously fearful that Edward would re-claim Bella. I suppose Bella's original response to the innocent display of affection between us earlier had a part to play in his possessive behavior.

Alice rolled her eyes as the two approached. She was clearly unhappy with the recent changes. I guess I could not blame her. I had learned enough while talking to Bella this past evening to know that her relationship with the Cullen family was not limited to Edward. She truly loved all of them, and had no intention of ever considering any of them as less than family. I couldn't help but wonder if there was any way that I would ever get close to any of them. I couldn't have imagined being in close proximity to a vampire just two days ago, and here I was considering building a relationship with not just one, but a whole family of them.

Carlisle and Sam stood off to the side, talking leader to leader about the training schedule. Edward and I stood in a semi-circle with Bella and Jake, and Esme. Esme was watching the faces in front of her intently. I had a hard time meeting her eyes. Everything was so strained, and I felt so guilty about it all. It was all so overwhelming. I could feel tears begin to pool in my eyes, but I fought them. I blinked them back, and cleared my throat.

I heard a heavy sigh from Edward. He and Jake had their eyes locked on each other. Edward reached for my hand, and gave it a squeeze. _Don't worry, Leah. This _is_ going to work itself out. Take a look at Alice._ Edward told me silently.

I looked over at Alice, who was looking at me with her head cocked to one side, and an almost sad look on her face. What I didn't see was the outright contempt that she was displaying just moments before. My eyes snapped back to Edward's, looking for some explanation.

"I thought you couldn't see the wolves, Alice!" Edward looked excited.

"I didn't think so either… this is a first." Alice admitted quietly. She seemed to be sizing me up.

"What did you see?" asked Jasper.

"Not the time… you have a training session that you need to get going, already." Alice said flatly.

Jasper nodded, and called everyone to attention. After a few words, he broke everyone into teams. Tonight, however, he asked if some of the wolves would like to get in on the mock battles. Sam, Jacob, Seth, and I were the only ones that felt comfortable enough to try it. I got paired with Emmett and Rosalie.

The whole exercise was enlightening, and exhausting. By the end of the evening, we all had learned so much, we really felt like we were prepared for the battle. It was Jasper that drew our attention to Bella sleeping beside a large tree in the center of the field. She had been sitting all by herself for a little over two hours. She must have gotten bored out of her mind.

"We need to decide what we are going to do about her during the fight." Jasper said pointedly.

"You know she's not going to let us keep her away." Jake spoke up.

"That is _entirely_ out of the question." Edward said matter-of-factly.

"I don't think that she is going to cow-tow to your every whim anymore." Jake countered.

"It's _hardly_ a whim, and I am sure that she will listen to reason."

"Are we even talking about the same person?" Jake laughed boisterously. "The Bella I know is stubborn and opinionated, and _always_ ends up getting her way."

"She always listened to my reasoning." Edward said sternly.

"That's because you are possibly the world's bossiest "Know-It-All", Edward! How often did you make a decision for her against _her_ better judgment where yours ended up being better for her?" Alice interjected loudly, eliciting nods from the entire family and several of the wolves.

Edward sighed heavily, and looked at me. He looked like an old man, and my heart felt heavy for him. I knew that he still loved Bella, and was truly concerned for her safety. His eyes were imploring me to agree with him, but I knew that I could not. The girl that I knew through Jake, and the one that I had spent several hours in deep conversation with was too concerned for everyone around her to allow us to exclude her from the situation entirely. I knew that she was really worried about us all. If something happened to any one of us, and she had not been here, doing whatever she could to be involved, there is no way that she would ever forgive herself. She had a tendency to take the proverbial weight of the world on her shoulders.

"Edward, I think that we need to involve her in this conversation." I told him as gently as I could.

"She's right, Edward. What's more, you _know_ that she is." Esme added, putting her hand on his shoulder.

Edward held his hands up in surrender. He knew that he was greatly outnumbered. I kinda felt badly for him, he looked miserable. He walked over to where Bella was sleeping, and crouched beside her, gently waking her. He reached to help her up, and she looked warily at him, then to the rest of us in the field. She made her way over to us on unsteady feet, stumbling several times so that Edward had to hold her harm to keep her from falling. What would have appeared intimate and endearing just two nights ago now looked forced, and unnatural.

Jasper broached the subject cautiously. He kept glancing at Edward and Jacob out of the corner of his eye as he asked Bella where she would feel most safe during the battle. Bella looked around her nervously, obviously sizing up the opposition, and searching for words.

"I want to be where my family is." Bella said hesitantly, licking her lips. "You all are going to do battle for me, to keep Charlie and me safe. Any one of you could get hurt. I keep hearing you talk like this is going to be easy, and over with quickly. So, I want to be here with you."

"How is that going to help us Bella? If you are here, then we will we worried about you and our attention will be divided." Jacob bellowed.

"No! Your attention can be on them entirely! I was thinking about this all night.. well, untilIfellasleep,butstill.." she gushed, trying to get her thoughts out before she could be interrupted again, but I knew that if I was having a difficult time understanding her, there were others with the same difficulty. I decided to save her from another outburst from either suitor.

"Bella, please, calm down, and tell us your thoughts… after you take a breath. I promise, _NO ONE_ will interrupt you before you are finished." I glared between Edward and Jacob as I said it.

"Thank you, Leah." Bella took a deep breath before continuing, clearing her thoughts. "I heard Jasper talking to Carlisle about how to lure them here to the clearing. Obviously, they have been given my scent to follow. Why not use that fact to our advantage? If I walk from the direction they are coming, and lead them here, then go somewhere else, we risk one or more of them catching my trail leading them away from here, and then I am still vulnerable. If, however I leave a trail here, and they find me in the middle of the clearing… say, on this boulder." She indicated a large rock formation near the center of the field. "Then they will be so focused on me, and trying to get to me in their bloodlust, that they will not be as focused on the battle. And, if you are all positioned strategically… And if this fight is going to be the cake-walk that you all keep claiming that it is going to be, then they won't get anywhere near me!"

There was silence in the field as everyone considered what Bella said. I could practically see the "wheels turning" in both Jacob and Edward's minds as they tried to formulate an argument against her reasoning. As the moments ticked by, it became increasingly apparent that her logic was sound.

"Bella, your strategy seems fairly sound. You really do pay closer attention than we all give you credit for." Jasper's face, and voice reflected his awe. "I think tomorrow night, we will formulate a strategy around this idea…"

"And it is going to work! I see victory!" Alice clapped.

"So, we are done for the night?" asked Sam.

"I would say so!" Carlisle stated happily, his face serene as he wrapped his arms around his wife. "Let's meet here again tomorrow night?"

"Agreed." Sam said, shaking his hand.

The field began to empty rapidly as everyone went off to their respective homes. After a few minutes, all that remained were Edward, Bella, Jake and me. Jacob and I had phased back to ourselves after the fighting was winding down, and the discussions picked up. Bella was leaning heavily against Jake, her eyes were drooping, and she was yawning frequently.

"Take her home, Jake. She needs her rest." Edward said quietly, averting his eyes. I knew that this was going to be difficult. I knew that Edward's feelings for Bella ran very deep. I could not help the pang of jealousy that I felt at his struggle. A part of me was already hopelessly "in love" with Edward. I knew that it had more to do with imprinting than genuine emotions, but differentiating the strands of the tangled web of my genuine feelings and the forced emotions of the imprint was increasingly difficult. A part of me still wished that Edward would tell me to go away from him, and that he would run off with Bella so that they could have their "happily ever-after". Of course, where would that have left Jake and me?

"Where indeed?" Edward mused. He looked into my eyes and took my hand as Jacob walked away carrying a sleeping Bella to her home. "Do you really wish I would go away?"

"No. Not that you would go away. I wish that you could have your heart's desire." I said wistfully. "I feel like I have taken that away from you."

"Leah, listen to me." he said in a commanding tone, his eyes still locked on mine. "It is going to take some time for me to stop thinking so protectively towards Bella. I have been obsessing over her happiness and safety for about a year and a half. I cannot shut that off like a light switch. That said, I want you to know that until Jasper pointed out Bella sleeping and all alone, I had not thought of her for over an hour. Not once. You, on the other hand; I could not keep my eyes off of you!"

"Me? I was a dog!" I guffawed.

"You were amazing! Your speed and skill far outshine almost all of your pack mates." He grinned. "I think you could take Sam in a fight even. Jake might be harder for you to take down, but you could most definitely outrun him!"

"You say the sweetest things." I rolled my eyes. His hand came to my face gently, cupping my cheek.

"Leah, I was captivated by you tonight. All night. Human, wolf, doesn't matter! I could not keep my eyes off of you."

"Take me home, vampire!" I laughed.

"No." he stated, to my surprise. "Well, home yes, but to _my_ home tonight, if I may?" he asked, his voice unsteady for the first time since we met.

"Okay." I said simply, allowing myself to trust him. Finding I did so implicitly.

As always,

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	11. Chapter 11 Saying the Words

**AN**.. I wanted to get this done last night, but it took more

time than hubby was willing to give me. I will warn everyone…

There be lemons ahead… so if you are easily offended, or embarrassed,

You might want to skip this chapter. I tried not to make it all over-

the-top crass. The love is always more important than the sex,

but I do like the lemons. This is my longest chapter thus far.

I hope that you like it. Please, PLEASE tell me what you think.

As Always, SM owns it all, I just borrow them to play.

Chapter 11

_**Saying the Words**_

Bella POV

The first thing I noticed was the heat. I was too warm. The heat began to seep into my dreams, turning it from a normal, inconsequential dream (that I'd have awoken with no memory of) into a strange, almost erotic dream of the sun, and the beach, and Jake… especially his naked torso, glistening in the brilliant sunshine. As awareness began flooded my senses, I smiled. The sun was definitely shining, and I could feel his arms around me. I could smell his earthy, woodsy, musky skin. I could hear his gentle snoring, and feel the weight of him against my side.

I sighed deeply, pushing the sheet away from us. His body heat was overwhelming, and almost uncomfortable, but when I tried to pull away, the morning air felt cold against my skin, making me curl against his side. My movement was just enough to stir him. He wrapped his arms more tightly around me, and pressed his lips to my hair.

When I finally opened my eyes, I realized that we were once again in my bed together, and apparently had been all night. I sat up quickly, fully awake, and alert. I was in full-on panic mode. I had visions of Charlie, his service revolver pointed at Jake, threatening his manhood. (which I had yet to enjoy) Jacob pulled me firmly back against his side, his hand cupping the side of my face.

"S'okay." He slurred. "Charlie was up when I carried you into the house. There was a domestic disturbance, and he had to leave. He won't be back until his shift is over this evening."

I relaxed, and looked over at my alarm clock, seeing that it was just after ten in the morning. I wondered what time it was when Jake had gotten me home. Not that it mattered very much. I had slept so peacefully, and deeply that I was now fully rested. My mind was alert. Jake, on the other hand was content to go back to sleep for a while. I continued to lay there with him, watching the rise and fall of his chest, and tracing patterns with my fingertips over his shoulder and chest. It was a sweet moment of quiet between us. Until I felt it.

"Jake, unless this is 'when', I think you need to get up and shower."

"Hmm?" he mumbled sleepily. I pressed against him a little more firmly, right against his the wood that had started poking me. I tried to get up again, but he still refused to loosen his hold on me, keeping me trapped against him.

"Ignore it."

_"Ignore_ it?" I guffawed. "It's digging into my thigh! How am I supposed to _ignore_ it?"

In an instant, his mouth was covering mine, demanding, taking. My lips parted as I gasped in surprise, and then it was all tangled tongues, and hot breath, and curling toes. My heart was beating wildly, and I felt nervous, and brave all at once. He had one large hand splayed across my back, and the other against my shoulder was beginning to travel down my side. He grabbed at my hip, and rolled us so that I was on top of him, then pushed his had under the edge of my tee, his fingertips gently kneading the skin above my waisteband.

I pulled back slightly to catch my breath, and to try to gather my wits. When I looked him in the eyes, I was shocked to see nervousness. His eyes looked like they were pleading with me. I was not sure if he was waiting for permission to continue, or asking me to stop this. I cupped his face in my hand, and stared into his deep dark chocolate eyes, and leaned in to place gentle kisses on his chin, and jawline.

"Is this later, already?" I whispered in between wet kisses.

"Bella, I want you so much. You have no idea what you do to me. Being so close to you spurs a physical response that I simply cannot fight."

I stilled his mouth for a moment with my own. I kissed him hungrily, passionately. His hand traveled further up my shirt until he was cupping my breast, his thumb gently brushing my nipple over the lacy fabric of my bra. We moaned deeply into each other's mouths, and I ground my hips against his slowly.

"Bella, we shouldn't do this" he tried to sit up, but gave in as I used all of my strength to push him back against the mattress.

"We don't have to do _everything_, but Jakey, I need _something_." I ground against him again to make my point, eliciting another throaty groan from him.

"Oh, I see how it is. I'm 'Jakey' when you something from me, huh?" he pushed me into a sitting position, and drew my shirt up. I raised my arms so he could take it off. He looked at me for a full minute, drinking in the sight of me. I knew I was blushing under his stare, I couldn't help it. His eyes looked like a child on Christmas morning. His hands were suddenly all over me. He sat up, and began kissing my neck, traveling his lips wetly to my collar bone, and to sell of my breasts. I moaned loudly, moving against him.

"Can I take your bra off?" his voice sounded almost shy. I didn't answer, I just reached behind myself, unhooking the claps, and let if fall from my shoulders. I watched his face as he pulled it the rest of the way off me. He blushed as he ran his eyes over my exposed flesh, and glanced up to my face nervously, like he was asking permission to touch. I nodded slightly, resting my forehead against his. His nervous hands found their way back to my bare breasts. He leaned back a little bit, watching my face, and his hands on my skin.

"You look like a kid with a new favorite toy!" I giggled.

"I am!" he laughed huskily, and gently pinched a nipple. I felt it all the way between my legs, and I gasped.

"You smell amazing." Jake growled.

"What?" I was finding it hard to concentrate on anything. My brain had turned to mush under his gentle ministrations.

"Well, you're getting all hot and bothered, and I can smell it. Like I said, you smell amazing!"

Instead of embarrassing me, I found that his words turned me on farther. I wanted him so badly. I wanted all of him. My hands, which had been grasping at his shoulders, and twining in his hair found their way to his abs. I pushed against him again, asking him with my eyes to lie back. He did, and I ran my hands over his chest and stomach, marveling over the smoothness of his skin. I leaned forward, and kissed his chest, and nipped at his nipple. He smiled, and ran his hands over my back.

I sat back up, and locked eyes with him as I reached for the button of his fly, popping it open. He grabbed my hands in one of his, lifting my arms up and over my head, as he rolled us over, and pinned me beneath him on the mattress. I tried to protest, but he covered my breast with a hungry, hot mouth, and I quickly forgot what I was protesting about.

He released my hands, which found their way quickly into his hair. I gasped for air and mewled as he sucked, and gently bit at my nipples, palming the other in the absence of his mouth. Heat and moisture began to grow between my legs. I throbbed. I needed friction, and relief from the pulsating need emanating from that place inside of me that was screaming to be touched.

"Please." I begged

"Please, what?"

"More, I need... I need… more." I panted. I realized - as I tried to explain what I, myself couldn't understand fully - that my hips were writhing underneath of him. I felt wanton, and lusty. I felt want_ed _and beautiful under his touch and gaze. "I don't care about what's coming. I don't care about tomorrow, Jake. I want you. I need you. Please, make love to me."

He groaned. I know he wanted to say no, to be strong, but his body wanted mine as badly as mine wanted his. He suddenly rolled off of me, and stood in the middle of my bedroom, shaking. His eyes were wild with lust, and his cut offs strained against his throbbing hardon. I knew that he was about to win the fight with his hormones, and I didn't want that. I needed him. I needed him to know how much.

Before I even really thought it through, I was off of the bed, and unzipping his pants. I knew that he went commando. I knew there were no further barriers to fight with. He sprung free, and my eyes went wide. He was fully proportional to his six-foot-eight-inch height. I gasped softly and placed me hand around the base of him, as I leaned down to take the head into my mouth. It had all happened so quickly that he had not had time to respond. He staggered a little bit as his hand fell to the back of my head, his fingers twisting into me hair.

"Oh, my god, Bella." He grunted. "You don't have to…" words failed him as I sucked him deeply into my mouth, stroking him where my mouth could not reach. He grab bed my shoulders, lifting me from the floor, and practically threw me on the bed. His pants fell to the floor, and he stood before me naked. He was more beautiful than I had even dreamt a man could be.

His hands were rough as he stripped my pants off of me. He sunk to his knees as he pulled my hips to the edge of the bed, spreading my legs wide. He ran his hands up my thighs, following them with a trail of kisses. His hand came to rest against my center, over the top of my panties. His thumb pressed circles against me, and I bit my lip to stifle the grunts that wanted to escape me at his touch. I reached down, pushing at the top edge of my underwear, wanting them off. He complied, and all but tore them from me. He looked at me hungrily through his eyelashes.

"You smell so good." He repeated, leaning towards me, dipping his head.

I was so nervous as he kissed me, right in the spot between thigh and vulva. His mouth on my skin felt so good. I twitched involuntarily as his lips met the sensitive skin there, and he chuckled softly. His nose grazed across my pubic bone as his tongue darted out, dipping between my folds. Pleasure I had never known could exist shot through me as he tasted, and sucked at me. With one hand he grabbed my hip, and held me in place as the fingers of his other hand joined his mouth. He slid a finger inside of me, and I groaned loudly despite the death grip my teeth held on my bottom lip.

It didn't take long before his slipped a second finger into me, curling them slightly, and pressing places inside of me that made me feel like I was losing my grip on reality. He began to suck on my clit as his fingers worked inside of me. I grunted, and moaned, and whispered his name over and over. I knew that I was coming undone. I was teetering on the edge. It was so wonderful, and still it was not enough.

"Jake." I said as firmly as I could. He lifted his head, and looked me in the eyes. "I want you. I want to feel you inside me." I pleaded. He curled his fingers, and pressed his thumb against my swollen, throbbing clit.

"Part of me is inside you right now. Let this be enough for now, please?" he begged me, and dipped his head back down to finish what he started.

I fell over the edge, as I clenched around his fingers, and came over his mouth. My whole body shook, and I cried out in pleasure. Then I was in his arms, and he was kissing me. I wasn't really crazy about tasting myself on his lips, but I didn't want to push him away.

"My turn." I pushed him onto his back, and grasped his shaft gently, running my thumb over the tip, and wiping the bead of moisture over the head. He thrust his hips upward into my hand. I leaned over him, and took him into my mouth, and rolled my tongue around him. I cupped his balls gently with one hand, and stroked with the other as I sucked on him. He pushed my hair away from my face so that he could watch, and he moaned my name.

"Bella, it isn't going to take long." He told me as my eyes met his. I smiled around him, and hummed against his skin. "Damn, baby." His eyes slipped closed, and he fisted my hair. He was right. It didn't take long at all before he was muttering profanities, and his balls were tightening. He tried to push my head away, but I didn't let him. I wanted to taste him. I wanted to drink him in.

He had refused to take me the way I wanted him to, but he was not going to deny me this. He came hard, calling my name, and abusing the "F" word over and over. I stilled the movements of my hands, but I continued to suck gently on him as I milked him dry, swallowing every drop.

I crawled back up the bed, and nestled myself against him. He ran his fingertips gently up and down my spine. We were quiet together for a while, just relaxing in the post-orgasm haze. We fell asleep again, a naked tangle of spent limbs. When I woke up, he was already awake and watching me.

"That was amazing." He squeezed me tightly against his side.

"It was," I agreed " but it could have been even more amazing."

He laughed aloud, and shook his head in disbelief. "You won't be happy unless you get everything exactly as you want it, will you?"

I shrugged, and pouted at him. "Is it a bad thing to be wanted?"

"Of course not, I wasn't insinuating that you can't or shouldn't _want_ me. I want you too. I just want the timing to be right."

"Timing?" I fumed. "What is it with the men I love, and wanting to protect my virtue? Here I am, naked, and begging, and you tell me that this is not the right time? What the hell are you waiting for?"

"We have barely been _together_ for forty-eight hours, and you're already wanting to have sex. You were all set to live your life with and as a _vampire_. Bella, I love you. I have loved you for so long, and I have fantasized _repeatedly_ about you wanting me, believe me. I have gone through more lotion and tissues than you would believe."

"Ew! Jake gross!" I slapped at him.

"Never, in any of those fantasies did you ask me to take you without first proclaiming your undying love and commitment to me. I swear, Bella. It was imagining the 'I love you" from your lips that got me off every time."

I looked at him, stunned. His transparency, and his willingness to lay himself bare like this was (to say the least) unnerving. I felt so selfish. I had never felt so selfish in my life. I didn't realize I was crying until he began to wipe the tears off of my cheeks. He kissed my eyes, and shushed me, holding me tight against him.

"Jake." I whispered against him. "I know that this is probably going to seem like a knee-jerk response, but please hear me out." My voice was thick with emotion, and I was finding it hard to form the words coherently. "I know that I have not actually said the words to you. I can't even explain it to myself. I feel them, Jake. You have to know that. Eward walked away from me willingly. He tore my heart out, and ran off with it. I survived because of you. If you ever left me, I don't think…" I choked on my tears, unable to say anything for a while. Jacob just held me patiently, waiting for me to finish. I cleared my throat several times, trying to get the lump out of the way so that I could talk again.

"If _you_ ever left me, there is no way I would survive." I whispered. "Jake?" I waited for him to look me in the eyes before I continued. "Edward may have ripped my heart out, but by the time he brought it back to me, I had something even stronger… I had a whole new soul. _You are_ my soul. Your warmth brought it to life. Your love nourished it. You brought me to life. Jake, I swear, if you ever walk away from me, there would be no way to recover, because I may have learned to live without a heart, but if you rip away my soul, then all that is left is a zombie. You breathed life into the zombie that was. I am here today because of your love. It is why I could never just say goodbye to you like you deserved. I need you like I need air. I can't live life without you in it. I can't. If that isn't _love_, what is it? I _do_ love you, Jake."

Tears were spilling from Jacob's eyes. He crushed me to his side, and held me like his life depended on it. He began to laugh, with tears falling from his eyes, shaking his head.

"You have no idea how much I needed to hear that. I have been wanting to actually hear you say it for so long." He kissed me.

"I love you, Jake. I love you. I love…" he silenced my mouth with his kisses, which grew deeper quickly. It wasn't long before we were once again consumed with desire, and passion. He was lying on top of me, bracing his weight with his upper arms so that he would not crush me. I could feel his desire grow – literally – against my stomach. He moaned my name, and I dug my fingers into his back, arching against him.

"Are you sure?" his eyes locked with mine.

"Absolutely positive." I shuddered.

He drew his hips back, and reached down to align himself. He slowly pushed himself inside me, looking into my eyes as he did. I could feel the barrier give way. I cringed slightly, as it stung, but I wanted more. I arched my back, forcing him deeper. His whole body shivered as he pushed farther, sheathing himself entirely inside of me. He filled me completely. It felt so right to have him there, like he was made to fill that empty place inside of me just right.

After a moment, he began to move, slowly, touching my face, and looking reverently into my eyes. Our breathing was ragged, and punctuated with grunts and sighs as he gently made love to me. He whispered of love, and forever as he rested his forehead against mine. I ran my fingers gently over his back, feeling the ripple of his muscles as he moved inside of me. As the tension and passion increased, our pace increased, until our love making was almost rough, but it was not. It was perfect, and the heat between us was sublime. Our skin began to bead up with perspiration as we moved together, still watching each others' eyes.

I began to pant heavily, and moan audibly with each thrust. I could feel the coil of orgasmic pleasure tightening, waiting to spring, and send me over the edge. I bit down on his chin gently as he ground into me, whimpering and digging my fingers into his back and shoulders as I reached that beautiful precipice.

Suddenly, his eyes clouded and it was him cumming, thrusting deeply, and screaming my name that threw me over the edge. I could feel his spasms inside of me, the heat of his release spreading through me, and I heard a loud voice crying out… it was me, practically screaming as I came undone around him. His movements stilled as my muscles clamped tightly against him, and my body shuddered beneath him. I wrapped my legs around him, locking him against me as we rode out the waves of our passion.

"I love you." I breathed out, still looking him in the eyes.

"I love you, too."

We stayed locked together like that for a while, until I noticed that the light in the room had shifted, and the sun was now casting eastward shadows. I looked at the clock, and saw that it read three o'clock.

"Shit. We gotta get up, and I have to shower so I can start dinner. Charlie will be home by six."

"_We_ need to shower." He said, wagging his eyebrows. I laughed.

He was still inside of me, and was beginning to grow again. I didn't think it was possible, but we made love for the second time without uncoupling from the first. He rolled us over, so that I could be on top, and in control. I think he really just wanted to have access to my breasts while I thrust my hips against him. It was amazing.

After riding out our third orgasms of the day, we separated. I felt an emptiness when he pulled out of me. I also felt the messiness.

"Ock! I need to change my sheets!" I whined, looking at the mess we had created. There was a rather large, bloody tinged wet spot on the bed. Jake looked at it, alarmed.

"Did I hurt you?" he worried.

"It hurt for a second, yeah; but it was _amazing_, Jake. I can't wait until tomorrow, when Charlie goes to work, and we can do it again!" I kissed him on the cheek as I headed towards to bathroom. I looked over my shoulder, and beckoned with my eyes. "Are you coming?"

"Wow! I have unleashed a tiger, haven't I?" Jake laughed. "Or is it a sex-kitten? I might need a little more recovery time."

We showered together, touching and kissing, laughing when Jake tried to lift me so that he could enter me again, but the water, and my body wash had made us both slippery, and it was a bit more difficult in reality than on the movies. We settled for making out, and I gave him a soapy handjob. There was none of the stereotypical post-coital awkwardness that you hear about after a first time. We were still Bella and Jacob, just naked.

Reviews are Welcome, and Wanted..

Reviews are love!


	12. Chapter 12 Quoting Disney and Scripture

**AN**.. Thank you to all who have been reading, reviewing,

favoriting, and alerting this story! I am so excited. My hubby

thinks I am nuts every time I open my email and "Squee" aloud.

I hope this chapter is liked… it is ALOT different than the last, but

I figure Jake and Bella have history, and a real foundation for a

relationship already, whereas Edward and Leah have SO much

to learn yet. Anyhow.. I hope you like!

As always.. SM owns everything…

~UUaCP~

Chapter 12

_**Quoting Disney and Scripture…?**_

Leah POV

We decided to walk together to the house. We were enjoying each other's company so much that we walked at a pace that was close to human. We shot questions back and forth rapid-fire, learning so much along the way. He joked with me, and made me laugh so hard I thought I would pee myself. Maybe that's just because it has been so long since I allowed myself to feel anything but anger and bitterness. I was so happy the last few days that I didn't even recognize myself. I don't think that I was this giddy _before_ my heart was broken. I wasn't sure if I liked this version of me. She is _far_ too vulnerable.

Edward started laughing. He had heard what I was thinking, and thought it was hilarious. I could not figure out why.

"What's so funny about it, _Eddie_?" I spat.

"Oh, just thinking of _you_ as vulnerable." He was holding his side, still in hysterics. "I know damn well that if I said something to piss you off, you would NOT hesitate to tear off a limb. Especially knowing that I could reattach it." His laughter began to subside, and he grew thoughtful.

"Leah, the 'mean' version of yourself is just a façade. You know that, right? I mean, it's not like you can't handle yourself when it comes to a fight, but in your heart of hearts, you are a lover, not a fighter. The wolf in you can be hostile, and vicious, but the Leah that I have sifted through the last few days is actually thoughtful, and gentle and kind."

"Shut it, Mr. Vegan Vampire." I poked him in the chest. "I have a rep, and I intend to uphold it."

He grabbed my hand, and kissed the back of my fingers with a grin on his face, then turned his mouth into a frown of mock contrition. "I'm sorry, my dear Cruella." He fell to his knees, still holding my hand. "I would never out you to the world. You will forever have ice in your stare! Those poor innocent children had better be aware.."

I fell to the ground in hysterics. Who would have thought that a _vampire_ would start quoting from Disney? As I lay there laughing, Edward started singing the lyrics, and I could not stop the laughter that bubbled it's way to the surface.

_See, this is the beauty that I have found! I love this side of you._

My eyes widened as I replayed what he had just said over and over in my head. The laugher ceased, and my heart stuttered in my chest. I stared unbelieving into his topaz eyes. He, too had fallen suddenly still. He blinked once, his eyes as wide as mine. The tension in the air was so thick that it could have been cut with a knife. I had not expected to hear that word from his lips. Not really ever, but _seriously…_ not this soon!

The shock on his face made me realize that he hadn't really meant it; not that he didn't mean to _say_ it, but that he didn't mean it at all. We were not far from his house when this took place. We were close enough for me to smell the concentrated scent of the family, and I could hear Emmett's laughter in the distance. I winced slightly as I felt my heart recoil. I could feel the wall of bitterness slam back into place, and the familiar hardness seeping into my blood. I turned cold.

Before it really registered to me what I was doing, I phased. I phased right in front of Edward, and in the bitterness of the moment, all I could see was a vampire. I crouched low to the ground, my lips turned up into a snarl. I tried so hard to shield my mind from him. He had hurt me, and even though I knew he didn't mean to, even though I knew that I was reacting too quickly for him to have formulated a coherent sentence to explain, I was angry. In my wolf form, I felt stronger, and more able to defend my heart.

He sat there in front of me, refusing to take a defensive posture. He shook his head, and his eyes looked genuinely sorrowful, almost like tears would be falling if it were possible.

"Please." His voice croaked. "Don't do this. Don't ruin us before we are even an '_us'_."

The wolf didn't want to listen, and began to growl, but the part of me that had imprinted listened intently. I felt like I was locked in a battle with myself… for my very soul. The wolf that saw vampires only as enemies was poised to attack, whereas the wolf that imprinted on Edward was ready to cower in a submissive position on it's back. The human in me beheld the face and eyes of the vampire in front of me, and saw a man.

It all took place over a few seconds, but it felt like an eternity. I fell to the ground in front of him for the second time in as many days, naked in my human form. Once again, I was weeping. I was so tired of being emotionally raw in front of Edward. I wanted to be strong, and confident. Anger had made me feel confident, but Edward was right, it was just a façade.

Edward took his shirt off, and draped it over my shoulders before picking me up gently, and carrying me into his house. He ran me quickly into his room, and deposited me on a large black leather sofa. He kissed my forehead gently, telling me he would be right back. I heard the door click behind him. I sat up, frantically buttoning the shirt up, and trying to cover myself. I wiped at my eyes, willing the tears to stop falling as I attempted to pull myself together.

Again I found myself thinking how much I hated this weak person I had suddenly become. At least the angry Leah commanded respect. All Edward could possibly feel for me was pity. I hate being pitied. I didn't want or need it from anyone, much less a bloodsucking leech.

_I heard that._ He chuckled in my head. _And I don't fell pity for you, I feel much more deeply than pity allows._

I sighed deeply, and lied back into the soft leather, closing my eyes. I wanted sleep to take me before I had to think again. I wasn't so lucky. There was a knock on the door as Esme let herself into the room, carrying some clothes. She sat beside me wordlessly, but reached out to touch me gently. She had a soft, motherly look on her face as she smoothed my hair away from my face, tucking it behind my ears. I tried to be annoyed at the presumption, but I couldn't be. It was like she sent off these "Mom" vibes. I could not help but feel comforted.

"Alice is doomed." She said with a soft laugh, much to my confusion.

"Huh?"

"She wants to hate you so badly, but when she sees the hope, and trust I just saw in your eyes, she will be a goner. She is going to love you as much as she loves Bella. I don't have to have a 'gift' to know this."

"I wish I knew what Edward meant earlier, what Alice saw."

"She saw you as a part of the family." Esme cooed.

"Yeah, I bet that just _thrilled_ her." What can I say, sarcasm becomes me.

Esme laughed, shaking her head. "Like you wouldn't _believe_."

"The part I don't understand is where she can't see wolves. How can she see me?"

"Carlisle and Edward have been mulling this over. All they have are some pretty shaky theories." She stood up while she was speaking, holding out an emerald green pair of soft, brushed satin pajama shorts, and a matching spaghetti strapped tank. "You should get dressed before Edward returns." She leaned down and place a soft kiss atop my head before leaving the room.

I didn't know what to think of everything that had transpired in the last hour. I felt as lost and bewildered as I had over making the imprint in the first place. What was it that I had called this situation? Oh, that's right… FUCKED UP. Yeah… that about covers it!

I could hear Edward sniggering as he approached the door. He stopped and knocked before entering.

_Are you decent yet?_

_Gimme a second._ I answered silently to his wordless query. I finished slipping the tank over my head, and plopped back onto the sofa before calling him into the room. _You can come in now._ _Why exactly are we using telepathy?_

_Well, I guess because it is really awesome that someone can hear me? _he questioned instead of answering. _That, and it is nice to have some privacy, don't you think?_

_I guess I am not used to thinking of someone hearing my thoughts as _privacy_. It's not like I don't have a little bit of experience with such things, but I guess in this case; you are right, it is a bit more private._

Edward chuckled, and pulled me against his chest.

_What's with all the touching? You are so touchy-feely._

_You want me to stop?_

_I didn't say that._

He erupted into a boisterous laugh that shook the whole sofa.

"You are such a dichotomy."

_What? Now we are speaking out loud? Whatever happened to our privacy? _I ribbed him.

He wrapped his arms tightly around my torso, and rested his chin on top of my head. I turned my head to the side, and leaned it back so that I could look at him.

_Why did you say that, and why did you react the way you did?_ I decided to cut out the humor, and get to the heart of the situation.

_I hadn't meant to say that at this point. It kind of slipped out. The shock that you saw was me registering what it was I had just said. You repeated it in your head twice before I heard exactly what you did. I replayed the conversation in my head, trying to figure out how I meant it._

_Wait, you didn't even know what you said to me, or thought to me, whatever… and what's more, you didn't know _how_ you meant it?_ I fumed.

"'Out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks.'" Edward whispered.

"Wait, isn't that from the _Bible_?" I was shocked.

_Yes, it is in a couple of different places in scripture. It is one of the many truths I learned from reading it._

_WAIT… You're religious? A religious vampire? What the.._

Edward began to laugh once again.

_Not exactly _religious_, I wouldn't say it that way. Let's just say that I believe that there is something greater out there. I do tend to hold to more traditional "Judeo-Christian" beliefs, but I am not really religious. Yes, I believe in true goodness, so I guess it could be said that I believe in God.. likewise I believe in true evil. I have seen it for myself. So, it could be said that I believe in the devil. _

I sat in silence for a bit, absorbing what he told me. I had never considered what a vampire might believe in. I had been taken to Sunday School as a child, and my mother tried to get me involved in the "youth group" functions as an early teen, but I had never really considered myself as religious either. I guess, truth be told, I hadn't stopped lately to think about what it is that I believe. I know that I stopped believing that God had a specific person intended for everyone he created on the day that I found Sam in Emily's back yard. I know that I stopped believing in answered prayers the day my dad died.

Did I really believe what Edward was insinuating? That what comes from the mouth is a reflection of what is in the heart? I don't know. I guessed in some ways it made sense.

_So, you're telling me that if you said it, you _must have_ meant it?_

_I'm saying that the words tumble out of my mouth without my giving them thought. It was a moment when I just said the first thing to go through my head, without any filtering. As such, yes… I really believe that I meant it. I already told you that you are loveable. I can see that clearly. My heart is drawn to you. Why else would I reach to hold you in my arms?_

There was another knock at the door.

"Can I come in?" Alice asked in a small voice.

"Will you be kind?" Edward retorted.

"Will contrite suffice?" Alice stuck her head inside the door.

"Get in here."

I sat upright as she entered. Jasper followed behind her, and she clung to his hand like it was a child's security blanket. I was nervous as hell. This little bitty wisp of a vampire scared me for reasons I didn't understand. Whenever I have been scared in life, I tended to get defensive. I fought to keep my defenses at bay.

"Leah, I have to apologize to you." Alice cleared her throat. Jasper was gently rubbing the small of her back. I could feel heavy waves of artificial peace fill the room.

"I'll listen so long as your mate stops messing with the genuine vibes in the room. If you are really sorry, then you should not need him to keep things calm." I glared at Jasper. Edward started laughing once again. I turned to him, ready to pounce. "And you! What is it with you tonight? Do they make vampire cocaine? Are you high? You are laughing over everything tonight!"

Alice looked between Edward and I, watching our interaction. At first she seemed wary, but then I could almost see mischief fill her eyes as she began to giggle. She sank to the floor in a fit of near hysteria.

"Oh my God, Edward, she's perfect!" she finally pulled herself together enough to speak again.

"Wait, what do you mean I am 'Perfect'?" had everyone lost their minds, or was it just me?

"Edward needs someone who can stand up to him, and set his ass straight… But that is _not_ why I came in here." Alice stood up, smoothing her pants, and brushing imaginary dirt off of her bottom. "I came here to say how sorry I am for judging you so harshly. I know that imprinting is not your fault. I judged you harshly. I was wrong. I don't know you, yet; and I have been entirely unfair in my assessment of your character. In all honesty, I was afraid that you had immediately sought to seduce my brother. Jasper informs me that he has not felt the slightest bit of lust emanating from you. He has sensed nothing but confusion, sadness, anger, and fear from you. I have called you things behind your back for which I am ashamed, and I am asking you for forgiveness, and a chance to get to know you." Her eyes shone earnestly.

"Of course you are forgiven, and I would very much like to get to know all of you." I said shyly.

Alice stepped towards me, clasping my hand in her own, and smiled at me.

"Thank you, Leah. I'll leave you two alone now."

Jasper smiled and nodded as they left the room, closing the door behind them.

I knew that vampire hearing was better even than werewolves, and I could hear the others milling about the house, holding quiet conversations that I could not quite make out. I decided to use this knowledge to my advantage, bringing the whole house into a fit of laughter as I spoke my mind aloud…

"Does anyone else want to come in challenge the werewolf's pre-conceived notions tonight?" Edward pulled me back against him and wrapped his arms around me as he erupted into another fit of laughter. This time I joined in again.

~UUaCP~

Reviews are Welcome and Wanted,

Reviews are love!


	13. Chapter 13 Dreaming and Dressing

Longest AN ever… Thank you to all who have been sticking with me through this.

I am sorry it took over a week to get this out. Thanksgiving week

was rough for finding time to write, but I promise a second

Chapter before today is out!

~an~

On another note.. several have commented to me now,

about how I am writing a too gentle and timid Leah.

To this I say, I am sorry if it seems so to you...

My vision of Leah is that she put on a façade of hostility

because of all that she had gone through, but being

treated so gently by Edward, and learning what it is to

be loved unconditionally and unfailingly is peeling back

the layers of anger, and revealing the heart of the woman.

She is still as tough as nails, but she doesn't have to wear

her bitterness on her sleeve anymore.

Anyhow, without further ado…

~UUaAP~

Chapter 13

_**Dreaming and Dressing**_

Leah POV

I slept again in Edward's arms. It was kind of strange to think that sleeping in those cold, hard arms was the most comfortable I had ever been. I lay there, vaguely remembering having dreamt. My brain seemed to be trying to hold on to some wisp of the intangible by seeking to remember the details of it. For the most part, the dream was unrecoverable. It was all blurry, and ephemeral… trying to concentrate on it was like trying to grasp at a soap bubble; you can see it, and know that there is something there, but it bursts and is gone the second you make contact. Instead of actually _knowing_ what it was that I dreamed, I was left with a ill-defined impression of contentedness, and happiness, with a hint of something more. The only real, solid thing I was left with from the dream was the faint imagining of my lips pressed against something cold yet pleasant.

When I opened my eyes, and looked towards Edward's face, I noticed that he appeared to be far away in his own thoughts. I tried to extricate myself from his arms surreptitiously, but that of course was a futile attempt. His far away gaze abruptly returned toward me, and he smiled. I reached up and pushed his unkempt bangs off of his forehead unthinkingly. His eyes closed, and he exhaled deeply.

"Did you sleep well?" he asked, his voice sounded a little bit strained.

"Ummm… yeah?" I said a little bit hesitantly. I stretched out my arms and back, causing my borrowed shirt to rise up my torso, just under the swell of my breasts, which I probably would not have noticed if Edward's hand had not suddenly grasped the ham of the shirt, and tugged it lower, in an obvious effort to protect my modesty.

I sat up abruptly, and shot him a quizzical expression. His brows drew together, and his expression turned dark.

"I have not been concerned about _modesty_ for a while, Edward. It's not like the whole pack, and your whole family hasn't seen me naked. It's just skin." I shrugged.

"It's beautiful skin. Skin that not all eyes should be privy to. Not skin that _my_ eyes should be privy to." He finished in a whisper.

"What is wrong with you this morning, Edward?" I could not fathom what his problem was.

"I know that we are not yet at the place in our… _relationship... _where we would normally discuss such matters, but you have to realize… sex is not an option." His eyes were blazing.

"Uh. Where the _hell_ is this coming from? We haven't even _kissed_ yet. You are not even sure _you_ want a romantic relationship with me, and you are bringing up _sex_?" I. WAS. MORTIFIED.

"Do you remember your dreams from last night?"

"I remember _that_ I dreamed. I don't remember _what_ I dreamed."

"It was.. " he shook his head slowly "the most erotic thing I have ever experienced… and you are wrong, by the way. We most certainly _have_ kissed." His eyes were burning intensely.

"Oh." Was all I could manage. Suddenly I felt completely under dressed, as if the material of the tank I was wearing were see-through. Maybe modesty was more important to me than I had realized. What did he mean that we had already kissed?

_You _saw_ my dream?_

_Yes. Reading minds is far more than hearing your thoughts as if you are speaking. I can see your memories, and apparently dreams as well. _

_Tell me about the dream._

Edward was obviously uncomfortable with explaining the dream to me. His expression looked so distraught, and discombobulated that I think if such a thing were possible, he would be blushing crimson. He furrowed his brows and looked away from me.

_Fine, don't _tell_ me about the dream. Project it into my mind like your words. _Show_ me._

Suddenly my mind was filled with vivid pictures. The dream was replaying itself in my mind, and I recognized the setting. Edward and I were back in the clearing, it appeared to be the night that I imprinted. In my dream, Sam, Jacob, and Bella were trying to keep me away from Edward. Alice and Jasper were holding Edward back as our arms were outstretched towards each other. My eyes were locked on Edward's, and I was hearing his thoughts. He was telling me how much he loved Bella, and how he could never leave her. It was heartbreaking, but completely understandable.

Then the scene changed. We were sitting on my bed that night, and Edward was talking, but I could not hear him. His lips moved without sound. I began to beg him to stay, to never leave me. I told him over and over that I loved him desperately, and that the imprint was not all of it. I poured my heart out to him in the dream as he stared into my eyes, seemingly unseeing. I told him about how he had broken down my carefully constructed barriers, and wooed my heart with his kindness and gentle demeanor. How he had already won my love by being the gentleman that he was. That I could see the beauty of his soul, and that I knew that he was my forever. I looked at him, and suddenly in my dream, his yellow eyes began to darken and change into a beautiful shade of green, and his skin began to flush, turning to a healthy natural flesh tone. I watched in awe as Edward became human, and his heart began to beat in his chest. His voice became audible, and my beautiful red-headed man was professing his love to me, telling me how much he could never be apart from me again. Then his lips were devouring me, kissing me all over leaving a trail of fire in their wake. Edward was stripping my clothes off of me slowly, his hands exploring every inch of my body.

The dream faded from my mind, and reality swirled around me as my breath came in ragged bursts. I looked at Edward, who was still looking away from me.

_Talk to me, please? I know that the dream went on from there. I appreciate you showing me why you are so upset._ _Is that where we kissed?_

Edward stiffened his posture. His hands were clenched into fists at his side. I stared at the back of his head, willing him to look at me - fearing he would. I was so embarrassed by the turn of events. I couldn't imagine how mortifying it must have been for Edward to see that dream. I wished that the imprint would just drop. It was creating nothing but suffering for either of us.

I stood up, and walked out of his room into the unfamiliar house. I hoped to find either Alice or Esme. I needed to borrow clothes so that she could go home. As I walked by a doorway, it opened, and Rosalie stuck her head out.

"Hey, you need some help?" Rosalie offered.

"Well, I need some clothes to go home in. I feel awful having to ask. It was my temper and foolishness that got me in this predicament."

"Don't feel bad. You didn't do anything wrong. Come in here, I'm pretty sure Alice and I can fix you up." Alice was sitting on a padded high-backed chair beside a beautiful antique, golden oak vanity set. The whole room was beautifully decorated, and luxurious. It was so much more opulent than anything I had ever seen before. I felt a little bit bewildered, and it must have showed, because Alice and Rosalie both approached me cautiously. Alice looked hopeful.

"Is it okay if I help pick out your outfit?" her eyes were eager as she seemed to bounce in anticipation.

"Pick it out?" I puzzled. "I figured you would just give me something old that you don't have use for anymore."

Rosalie shook her head, and looked at me with pity. "Poor girl! You just woke the fashion demon. Choose your next words wisely, your fate may depend on them." Alice was looking at me like I had grown a third eye, or sprouted horns.

"Something _old_? Do you think I would keep something _old_ in this house? I have studied in five major houses of fashion. Every day I scour the internet for the best. I fly to Paris and New York every year for fashion week. There is nothing in here that has been worn before, and I promise you, if you allow me to dress you, you will not regret it."

"Seriously, Leah, if you don't want to do this, say so... _now_!" Rosalie warned.

I was almost scared to say no. Alice had a frenzied look in her amber eyes. I wondered to myself if fashion was an opiate for this little sprite. I figured that I had nothing to lose. I would get a new outfit, and have to opportunity to get to know Edward's sisters. I shrugged, and gave a canted nod. I'm sure I looked more like I was cringing than acquiescing.

Alice danced across the room speaking hurriedly as she entered the closet. Fashion had never been my thing, even before everything went to shit in my life. I was always a simple girl. Dressing up for me had rarely consisted of more than clean jeans and a peasant blouse with baby boll flats. I may have owned half a dozen skirts in my nearly twenty years of existence. Until I was transformed into a she-wolf, I had obstinately refused to wear the simple cotton dresses that my mother always made for me. I only wore them now because of the convenience. The only time I had ever worn high heels was for my senior prom, and those had come off as soon as the pictures had been taken. I had never worn nylons. This could prove to be interesting.

As we entered into the closet (which by the way was larger than my whole bedroom at home) I looked around at the beautiful fabrics, and fancy designer labels with more than a little trepidation. All of the clothes were sorted according to color. The room looked like a rainbow, stretching from one side, wrapping around to the other. To the far left, I noticed the pale shades, starting with white, winter white, fading to grey, then black in the corner. The far wall started with pastel pinks, growing in intensity to fuchsia, then red, deepening to burgundy, and black-cherry colors. This pattern was repeated with all shades of orange, yellow, green, blue, and purple. They were meticulous in their sorting. It certainly made things easier to find.

I knew that this was the start of something, I just wasn't sure if it was the precedent that I wanted to set. I had a nagging suspicion that Rose's warning meant that giving in might mean never going back. I was falling down the rabbit hole, funny that I was following someone named Alice. I laughed aloud at the thought. I could swear I heard Edward's laughter from elsewhere in the house.

"What are you laughing at, missy?" Alice demanded.

"Uh-uh! Nope! I know when to keep my thought to myself." I responded, popping the "p". I was not about to let her know what had crossed my mind. I wanted her to like me, and I was not sure what her sense of humor was like.

"Whatever. Okay, so let me guess. You are a girl of simple taste in clothes, right?"

I arched an eyebrow, and gave a canted nod. "Dressing up has never been my 'thing'." I made quotations with my fingers.

"I figured that was the case." Alice quickly put on a serious face, and began to walk in a circle around me, with her curled fingers resting against her jaw line, and her index finger tapping against her cheek bone. She reminded me of all of the movies about mad scientists hovering over an experiment, or equation trying to solve a problem. Then she twirled and grabbed what appeared to be a multi-colored robe off of the rack and pushed me down onto the little Victorian style Settee. When she put the material against me, I realized that it was an over sized color swatch, with probably two dozen different fabrics and colors. She cocked her head to the side, her eyes scanning through the colors, placing different segments against my throat, I assumed she was trying to figure out what colors made my eyes pop, or my skin "glow".

She finally settled on a rich, deep, burnt-orange color, nodding in satisfaction. She walked to the assortment of orange clothes on the wall, and began perusing the wide assortment of material there. I wondered as I watched her picking through the many shirts, how often these women must go shopping. This closet was a veritable designer store!

As Alice was picking out my outfit, Rose (as she had instructed me to call her) was busying herself in a chest of drawers that was built into the walls. She tossed me a matched set of underwear in a beautifully sheer, flesh colored material. It was all lace and some sort of soft mesh. It was possibly the most beautiful lingerie that I had ever held in my hands.

"Those should fit you." Rose said, smiling lightly. "Come with me." We went back into the bedroom (which suddenly seemed a lot less opulent after stepping into the fashion closet) and she pointed out a door on the far side of the room. She explained that it was a bathroom, telling me to shower, and that there were linens in the cupboard.

I intended to shower quickly, but the warm water pulsing through the multiple jets from all sides was more relaxing than any bath I had ever taken. The shower stall was humongous. It was tiled with cobalt and white ceramic, and the fixtures were brushed nickel with ornate white ceramic handles. There was a touch pad that controlled the temperature of the water, and the pulse and intensity of the spray, as well as how many of the twenty-four water jets would be in use. I marveled at the thought that this bathroom _alone_ probably cost more to set up than the _best house_ in LaPush.

On the shelves in the shower were an assortment of body washes and shampoos and conditioners. I had never been much of a "girlie-girl", but I found myself enjoying this rather much. I settled for a body wash that was not overly feminine, bu smelledt like clean linens. There was a shampoo and conditioner in the same scent, and by the time I had finished with my bath, and wrapped myself in an over-sized, and very plush towel, I felt like a bowl of jello. I was relaxed, and ready to allow Alice to her worst.

I put on the lingerie set that Rosalie had given to me, and stepped out into the bedroom. Esme had joined the party with a tray of fresh fruit and breakfast breads, and another with a pot of hot water, and a wide arrangement of tea and coffees to choose from. I was instructed to sit on the seat in front of the vanity. Esme brought the trays and a plate over to me, and I chose some fresh pear and mango slices along with a toasted English muffin, and a large mug of jasmine tea. While I ate my breakfast, Rosalie handed me a small bottle of lotion. I noticed it was the same scent as the other bath products I had used. I smiled at her gratefully. It was hard to believe that I had ever viewed them as anything less than generous and loving _people_.

Rosalie and Esme were discussing the outfit Alice had picked out for me, and how appropriate they thought it to be for my build and coloring, and Alice was busy sketching in a notebook. I took a look at them as I sat silently finishing my tea, and applying the lotion Rose had given me. It occurred to me that I ought to feel a little bit awkward around them, but I couldn't. I could not find it in me to think negatively about them anymore. I wondered if this was going to make me weak as a wolf. I hoped that the wolf in me would understand the drastic difference between this family and the others that were coming our way soon. I also wondered if I could maybe glean some understanding from these women about Edward. His mood swings were hard for me to understand. I knew that we were just beginning to know each other, but especially after this morning's conversation, I was beginning to think that Edward was only placating me with the idea of a possible deeper relationship in the future. Why else would he let me know that he had no intention of ever sleeping with me?

Of course, it was far too soon to be considering a physical relationship, but I guess I figured that at some point I would have one of those with my imprint, vampire _or_ human. I didn't know what to think, and I was not sure if I should ask his sisters, or mother figure. I sighed deeply as I set the empty mug down.

"Do you mind if I do something with your hair?" Rose asked as she was already grabbing supplies to do just that.

I shrugged. "You can try, but it is so short, I usually just brush it then forget it."

"I have learned to do some pretty amazing things with short hair over my years as Alice's stylist!" She was using a blow-dryer and a round brush as she talked to me. In a very short time, she had managed to smooth my hair into an attractive style. I was surprised that I liked it. I had so rarely found anything to do with my hair since I first phased, and had to cut nearly two feet from its length.

"There you go, what do you think?"

"I really like it, Rose! Thank you."

"My pleasure. Listen," she said, grasping one of my hands, "if you ever need someone to talk to, you can always come to one of us. We have discussed this at length, just the three of us, and we know that you are going through some seriously huge transitions right now."

"_And_," Alice interrupted, "we also know how difficult it can be to get to know Edward. He plays his _life_ close to the vest, forget the cards. We watched Bella struggle to understand him sometimes. She almost never came to us with questions, if she had, some things may have gone so much more easily for her."

Esme swooped in and hugged me gently. "If there are any questions you want to ask, don't hesitate, please? Our family does not keep secrets, and we always try to support one another through difficulty. We already feel like you are a part of us."

I had not had anyone to do "girl talk" with since Emily happened. A part of me was relieved to know that I could talk with them, but another part felt like Edward needed to tell me what he was thinking for himself. I decided that I would not ask advice on Edward unless it was a last resort. I didn't want to set the precedent of dragging our relationship to everyone else. This whole physical thing was between _us_, and it was going to go no further until there was an issue. Right now, it was _not_ an issue.

When Alice had finished dressing me, I looked in the mirror, and was astonished. Alice had picked out a pair of indigo stretch-denim leggings, and a burnt orange, scoop necked cotton shirt with ruching along the deep neckline and under the bust, and flared out at the bottom. It had billowy three quarter length sleeves that were cinched below the elbow. I stared at my reflection. I had never worn anything like it before, but it truly suited my body build, and coloring. I was impressed. Alice brought out a pair of high heeled ankle boots to complete the ensemble. I looked at them like she was asking me to slip my feet into a pit of vipers.

"Don't you have something like a pair of sandals that I could wear?" I pleaded. She muttered and growled as she walked back into the closet, and began digging through the large assortment of shoes. All I could make out from her mutterings was that I was obviously ruining the effect, and something about being more like Bella than she had anticipated. I smiled at the comparison. She finally tossed a cute pair of sandals onto the bed, and threw me an exacerbated look.

After thanking the ladies once again for everything, I left the room. I had just closed the door behind myself when Edward appeared in the hallway. His mouth fell open a little as he took in the sight of me. His eyes darkened a little bit, and his whole frame stiffened. I wasn't sure how to read his posture. He always seemed to freeze in place and darken his mood when he was surprised by something, so I could not tell if he was pleased, or upset. I felt my "hackles" rise as he stood there just looking at me, and not saying anything.

"Is there a problem Edward?" I asked a bit defensively.

His eyes darted to mine for a moment before roaming over my body again. He relaxed his stance, and a crooked smile began to form across his face. He cocked his head to the side, and glanced up at me through his lashes.

"No, no problem from where _I'm_ standing." He walked towards me slowly, and took my hand, leading me towards the stairs, but paused on the top step and leaned his head back towards the hallway and called out "Thanks, guys!" We heard the tinkling of laugher, and a trio of voices calling out "You're welcome!"

We went downstairs and into the living room where Jasper and Emmett were setting engrossed in a video game. They were playing one of the Call of Duty games that the guys in the pack were so fond of. I had played a few times, but I had a hard time with the controls. I preferred to be a back-seat gamer; yelling advice and cheering people on, then teasing them when they died. That's how I roll. We sat and watched them play for a while, and I had a great time giving them crap about how the boys in La Push could kick their gaming asses.

After a while, I had gotten bored, and looked over at Edward who was watching me intently.

_Want to get out of here?_ He asked with a crooked grin.

_Absolutely._ I smiled in return.

~UUaAP~

As always, review are Welcome and Wanted!

Reviews show me love!


	14. Chapter 14 Sharing Darkest Memories

AN.. _**WARNING**_: This chapter holds a fairly graphic

description of rape. It is not meant to be superfluous.

It is there for good reason. I do not want anyone to think

that I take the subject of rape lightly. I actually know from

personal experience how truly devastating it is. I put this

into the story for character development. If the idea of

reading about a rape is offensive to you, please feel free

to PM me, and I will send you a VERY abridged version

of the chapter so that you can get the essence of it's

importance to the chapter and story without having to

read any details.

Disclaimer: I own nothing, SM's characters are my playmates.

~UUaAP~

Chapter 14

_**Sharing the Darkest of Memories**_

Edward led me to the garage, and asked if I would like to go for a ride. I agreed. It would be nice to get away from reality for a little while. Edward opened his car door for me, and closed it after I got settled in. I was not used to such chivalry. Men didn't do those things anymore, and I found it flattering. Sam had never bothered to hold doors for me, and I had never missed it until now. Edward was so different than any other man I had ever known, and not just because he was a vampire.

"What year were you born?" I asked, surprised at myself for not having thought to ask sooner.

"I was born June 20th, 1901."

"Wow!" I breathed. "No wonder your manners are so old fashioned."

"Do you object?" he asked teasingly. I knew that he had heard what I was thinking as he helped me into the car, so I knew that he already knew how much I actually liked it.

"I _should_ be offended, after all, these _are_ the days of quality, but I am not. I mean, I certainly don't want you to treat me like some sort of glass object, but I kind of like the attention that comes with those manners!"

"Aren't you like glass, though? Breakable?"

"_Breakable_? Edward, what the hell are you talking about? _Breakable_?"

"I know that you heal quickly, but that does not mean that you are not breakable."

Suddenly everything from this morning made sense. I understood his refusal to ever have a physical relationship. I had to explain how I knew that he had nothing to fear. How could I do it without opening a carefully guarded chapter of my life? maybe I could tell him part of it. I tried to evaluate this without actually planning it. Easier said than done.

"I am so much tougher than you know! Have you ever actually fought with one of our kind?"

"Well, I sparred with Sam and Jacob last night, but.."

"Sparred. I asked if you have actually _fought_ with any of our kind."

"No, and I hope that I never have to!"

"I helped to take down one of your kind a couple of months after I first phased. There was a loner in the woods stalking a group of hikers. Paul and I were out on patrol and come across his scent. In the attack, he managed to hit me several times. It was my first actual encounter with a vampire. He threw me against a tree too. I barely felt anything And when I got home, there was not even a bruise."

"You were in wolf form, Leah. You know you are stronger and harder to do damage to in that form."

"Okay… uh." I was about to tell Edward something that no one had ever been told. Something I had somehow managed to keep from the pack. I was so scared to reveal it, but I felt he had the right to know everything about me, even the things that I would rather forget. If we were going to be in a relationship, he was right, absolute honesty had to be at its core. "I lied. Paul was not with me. I was trying to sneak away. They were in a council meeting, and I told everyone that I was not feeling well, and was going to lie down." From there, I just allowed the memory of the night to unfold, so that Edward could see for himself just how unbreakable I was.

_I was running full-tilt through the forest, trying to get some real distance on the pack before the meeting's end. I was so concentrated on my speed that I didn't notice the stench before I slammed into the vampire. It felt like running headlong into granite. _

_After shaking off my surprise, I crouched low, growling, trying to see where the vampire had gone. I noticed movement to my left, and turned as he charged at me. In that moment, it dawned on me that I was all alone, with no one there to guard my flanks. I was _so_ overcome by fear that my wolf self could not contain it, and I phased involuntarily. _(An apparent pattern, but I digress…)

_The vampire stopped in his attack to look me over. I tried desperately to phase, but the fear was overwhelming. I was shaking all over, and trying to cover myself. _

"_Well, well! What have we here?" the vampire sneered. He looked at me with his crimson eyes, and walked in a circle around me as if appraising merchandise. "I had heard that there were wolves nearby, but I have never seen a _female_ before!"_

"_Go away!" I tried to sound brave._

"_Look at you, little one! You are shaking like a leaf!" he said soothingly._

_I cleared my throat and tried to calm myself, but his red eyes held me, and I was drowning in my terror. _

"_You really are quite a lovely specimen!" he leered, reaching for my hands that were covering my breasts. He managed to spread my arms, and flatten me to the ground, his face mere inches from my own. _

"_Please! Get off me, let me go!" I sobbed._

"_Oh, pretty little girl! I _fully_ intend to get off, don't you worry your sweet head."_

"_No, please!" I pleaded in a tiny voice. I could hardly breathe with the weight of him pressing me down._

_His shoved his knees between mine, and forced my legs open, and I screamed in horror. He was stronger than I could be in human form, and I knew what he was about to do. I was locked inside the despair that had led me here in the first place. _

_He locked my hands up over my head with one hand, and reached to undo his pants with the other. I felt completely powerless as he assaulted me. It was like my mind had shut down. I could feel him shoving his hands between my legs, and his mouth against my breasts, but all that really registered for me was his red eyes, gloating in triumph that never left mine. I was too afraid to even think to close my eyes._

_It wasn't until he forced his way inside me, and closed his eyes in what I assume was pleasure that I finally snapped. Anger came raging to the surface. I phased with him still slamming himself into me. It wasn't until he opened his eyes that it registered that he was now raping a wolf. Apparently he didn't care, because he tried to finish, not realizing that it he already was... finished. I tore his head off in one bite._

_When I finally wriggled out from under him, I ran as fast as I could to the nearest river, and jumped right in. I phased back while in the water, desperately trying to wash the stench and memory off of me. When I finally left the water, I took stock of my body. I had fading bruises on my wrists, breasts, and thighs, and I was definitely sore between my legs, but nothing appeared to have been broken despite how hard he had taken me. _

_I steeled myself, determined not to ever be so frightened again that I would be vulnerable to such a horrible fate. I knew then that no matter how horrible it was to have to relive my nightmare of Sam and Emily every day, it was better to have someone guarding my flanks if I should ever stumble across another filthy blood-sucking demon. And, I was just as determined that I would never again think of the events of this unspeakable night. No one could know. Not ever._

As the memory of the evening came to a close, I noticed that Edward had pulled the car to a stop beside the road. He was facing me with burning eyes, shaking his head in horror. He reached for me, pulling me to his chest and promising me that I would never face see such a day again. I stubbornly refused to cry. I would _not_ shed a tear becasue of that unimaginable bastard that had tried to break me.

"You see, Edward? I am most certainly _not_ breakable. I lived to tell the tale of a vampire rape while I was yet in human form. My body is far more resilient than you give credit for." I pulled out of his arms, and raised my chin, daring him to defy that logic.

"Why did you never tell anyone?"

I laughed without humor. "Have you ever known a rape victim?"

"Yes, actually I have." He said, his brows furrowed.

"Does she talk about it?" I asked archly.

He looked like he was considering whether or not it had been discussed.

"Not really, no. She has never brought it up." He seemed surprised at the realization.

"How did you find out?" I asked him flatly.

"Carlisle found her afterwards. She was nearly dead from what those vile men did to her. Her physical condition was so poor that the only way to save her was to change her."

"Did it even occur to Carlisle that she may _rather_ have died?" I asked incredulously.

"Not until after the change was complete, and we knew more about the circumstances."

I shook my head. I could not believe the arrogance and stupidity surrounding such a situation.

"You mean to tell me that he chose to 'save' a girl who had just been violated and very nearly killed by putting her through the torture of that kind of change?" I seethed. "I thought that Carlisle was _humane_!"

"He is!" Edward defended blindly. "Once we knew, and I saw exactly what had happened to her, and by _whom_, it was too late. He thought he was doing the right thing, I assure you! Even Rose doesn't blame him for the decision anymore!"

I froze. It was Rose. He was talking about _Rose_, the beautiful, wonderful woman that I had spent the latter half of the morning with. I shook my head in disbelief. Maybe there were some things that I needed to talk to her about. Maybe she could give me advice about getting beyond the fury, and disgust.

"It was Rose" I whispered. A single tear escaped, and fell down my cheek.

"Yes, it was Rose. She has only spoken of it once that I am aware of. She rarely visits that place in her memories anymore."

"It is my understanding that rape victims rarely talk about it. I would not have shared with you if I had any other way to explain to you how _un_-breakable I truly am."

Edward stared at me silently for a long while. I pushed the memories of that night back away into their little vault, and turned the mental key. He shook his head in awe, and his eyes went wide as I forced it all back into submission to my will.

"How did you do that? It is amazing! How did you create such a vault in your mind?" he asked me in a whisper.

"I don't know. I just have this thing that I do. When I don't want to think about something terrible, I lock it up. I always have. Nightmares as a child, my first kiss, things I didn't want to think about, I forced out. When I forced…_that" _I shuddered, "out, other things that I had once suppressed came back to me. Things that were so tame by comparison that I didn't even notice them."

"So, you have within you the ability to hide information, and keep it from me. Just like Bella. You _have_ a steel trap within your mind. Bella's mind _is_ a steel trap. Bella must live her whole life inside that protection." He mused.

I wasn't sure if I was upset about that observation or not. While I could certainly understand him drawing such a correlation, I really thought that the timing was off. Everything reminded him of her. She had been such a part of his life that it was difficult for him to extricate himself from the connection. I couldn't blame him, and even though this was only our third day together, so much had occurred that I could not help but worry that he would never fully be able to give his heart to me. Bella would always own a piece of it, and while I had also learned to love Bella in the last few days, I was jealous of that connection. I couldn't help but wonder in that moment if it was fully the fact that he considered me "breakable" that made him afraid of the possibility of a physical relationship, or if it was really because of whatever memories he cherished of whatever physical relationship they had managed.

Edward reached over, and tucked his finger under my chin, turning and lifting my head towards him. _Look at me._

_No._

_Please, Leah. Look at me._

_I can't._

He leaned towards me, and brushed his lips against mine once, twice, a third time.

_Look at me, Leah._

I finally complied. I looked into his eyes, which were tender, and filled with earnesty. He kissed me tenderly, then rested his forehead against mine.

_Bella and I never shared anything more intimate physically than we have just now._

I was shocked beyond words. I doubt that Edward was able to hear a coherent thought from me on the heels of that admission. It took a moment to get a grip on what he had told me.

_You were together for over a year, and you are telling me that nothing happened? NOTHING?_

He shrugged. _Really, nothing happened. It made life difficult for both of us. I know that she wanted more, but I could not allow more to happen between us. I could so easily have done serious damage to her. Sometimes I think she thought I didn't want her, though. I want to make it clear to you right now, so that you never have to doubt. You are a very desirable woman. I am extremely attracted to you. Some day we may come to a point of attempting a physical relationship, but I don't want you wondering between that time and this. If it weren't for my own beliefs about morality, and the fact that I am so very afraid of doing physical harm to you, I would have made your dream a reality last night._

My heart skipped a few beats, and my breath caught I my throat. The sincerity in his voice and eyes as he spoke was almost tangible. I had butterflies in my stomach. Edward wanted me. Edward was telling me that he had feelings for me beyond friendship, and had just hinted at a future together. I was elated. Who would have thought sharing the darkest moment of my life would end in my complete and utter happiness? Certainly not me.

Edward kissed me once again, and held me close for a moment before shifting in his seat to face the road.

"Sorry, sweet girl. I meant to get you away from town. I thought to take you to dinner. It appears time has slipped away on us."

"It's okay, handsome. It's not like you planned on me spilling my guts to you like that."

"Will you do me the extreme honor of accompanying me to dinner tomorrow night? You know, for an official date?"

I blushed and smiled. "I would love to, Edward."

~UUaAP~

Reviews are Welcome and Wanted.

Reviews show love.


	15. Chapter 15 New Family Ties

AN… I know that this is a really short, and fluffy chapter.

It wasn't intended to be, but as I was trying to write my way

to the next big bombshell..(Dun-dun-dunn) this kind of

spilled out. It's all sweet and sappy and silly, but I could

not stop it. I think it _wanted_ to be written! LOL

So, I hope you enjoy this little bit of sugary-sweetness.

Disclaimer: I own nothing, that joy belongs to Stephenie.

I just like to make her characters into my playmates!

~UUaAP~

Chapter 15

_**New Family Ties**_

Leah POV

Edward drove me back to his house, holding my hand, and humming some strange tune. It rather reminded me of an operatic aria. (Don't roll your eyes, I loved Phantom of the Opera) I was so relaxed, and completely blissed out that I had nearly fallen to sleep by the time we reached his garage. Edward got out of the car, and opened my door before I could fully rouse. He lifted me out of the car, and carried me inside, with one arm slung over his shoulder, and my head resting against his chest.

Jasper greeted us with a large smile, and a slap to Edward's back. Edward shook his head, and his frame was vibrating with silent laughter. I lifted my head, and shot him a curious, but wary glance. He didn't need to read my mind to know what it was for.

_He just figured I had given into the lust he felt coming from the room last night, and that you were all worn out from it._

I blushed from my forehead to my toes, and buried my head into his chest. I didn't even know what to say.

"Dude." Jasper said laughing. "Another easily embarrassed human! I have to let Em know, he's gonna have a field day!"

"Stop right there, cowboy!" I gathered the courage to yell. And he did stop, and he cringed as he turned slowly, looking over his shoulder at me. Edward let me down to stand on my own, but kept his arm around my waist. I straightened myself to my full 5'11", and stiffened my posture as I placed my hands on my hips, and shot him a bary pointed, haughty glare.

"Am I in trouble?" Jasper looked between me and Edward with a concerned expression. Emmett came bursting into the room at that moment, and started laughing uproariously at the standoff.

"Who-ee!" he exclaimed. "Looks like Edward got himself a spitfire, huh Jazz?"

As the noise level in the room increased, the rest of the family trickled in to see what all of the merriment was about. I picked up a pillow off of a sofa, and hurled it across the room, hitting Emmett in the head. The whole family laughed, and the tension seemed to break. I decided to let Jasper off the hook, and I didn't tell anyone what started it all. I figured I had shattered his and Em's egos enough for an evening. Carlisle and Esme walked over towards me, smiling broadly.

"I just got off of the phone with your mother." Esme practically glowed. "She has invited the whole family over tonight. Apparently she is hosting an impromptu gathering, and the council has decided that they want us to sit in on an official telling of the histories afterwards."

"Holy Shit! I didn't expect this much acceptance yet." I blurted out. Esme's eyes widened slightly before falling to the floor. I felt really sheepish.

_Your mom kind of disapproved of my language, didn't she?_

_Well, you could say that. She tends to slap us upside the head over using vulgar language._ Edward admitted, looking down into my eyes._. She is from a time when it was simply unacceptable for people to say such things in mixed company, but she would never say anything to make you feel badly._

I blushed for the second time within five minutes and I looked at my feet. Edward wrapped his arm a little more tightly around my waist, and pressed his lips against my neck.

"I am so sorry, Esme. I have a bad habit of cursing. Often. I think it comes from hanging out with the guys in the pack so much. Please, forgive me for offending you."

"There is no need to apologize, Leah. I was a little bit... _surprised_ by your words, but it is okay. We have a lot to learn about each other yet, and if the price I have to pay to see my Eddie's eyes glow is a few expletives thrown around from time to time, then I can adjust!"

"You guys wouldn't have had to adjust for Bella." I mumbled.

The whole family gathered closely around us at that, everyone talking at once, and offering words of assurance. Alice waited until everyone else had quieted somewhat before speaking words that resonated profoundly in my heart.

"Bella _is_ a part of this family. She was meant to be. If Bella had not come to Forks, and if her blood had not sung to Edward, there would never have been a link between our kind and yours. We would have continued to keep to the treaty, and there would never have been a reason for us to have coordinated. Without this need to work together, _to protect_ _Bella_, you would never have met Edward, and we would all have missed out on two wonderful new family members. I know that I resented this at first, but I spent two days cooped up in my room, trying to make sense of it all, and this is what I came up with. I think that this was meant to happen from the beginning. All the way back in nineteen thirty-six, when Carlisle first made the treaty with Ephriam the ball was set in motion. My visions have always been subjective, and prone to change according to the decisions that people make. I know that the visions I saw of Bella and Edward together were only there to cause this eventuality. If I had not believed with my whole heart that Bella would become one of us, I would not have stood by Edward's side. I really believe now that _everything_ happens for a reason, Leah! You are _not_ second best to Bella Swan. She was just the opening act!"

I wiped at the tears that had begun to trickle down my face. I wondered if I was becoming a softie. It seemed like I had cried so much in these last few days. I batted my hand playfully in Alice's direction.

"See, aren't you glad now that I wouldn't let you put any make up on me?" I laughed. Alice walked right up to me, and wrapped her arms around me in a quick hug.

"Hey Leah, do you like sports?" Emmett piped up.

"Yeah, I play baseball and football with the guys all the time. Why?"

Emmett started to fake like he was crying, wiping at imaginary tears, and quivering his chin. "Sis, you had me at baseball!" he wrapped me up in a huge bear-hug, and twirled me around. The whole family laughed, and joked around as we moved towards the door. It was time to get going for the big werewolf/vampire council meeting.

~UUaAP~

Reviews are Welcome and Wanted.

Reviews show me your love!


	16. Chapter 16 A Happy Gathering

So sorry! I am absolutely MORTIFIED... I made a HUMONGOUS mistake.

The sister that came home for teh summer, and was imprinted on by

Paul was Rachael, not Rebecca. I am beyond embarassed, and working to fix my error.

An.. Another for you! I've been "in the zone" writing for

for the last 14 hours, with a few short reading breaks.

Just a quick, heartfelt thanks to everyone who has been

Reading, reviewing, and Alerting. I read every review

that is written, and reply to queries… I love you all!

*air kisses*

Disclaimer: SM owns everything, I play games with the characters.

~UUaAP~

Chapter 16

_**A Happy Gathering**_

Bella POV

Sue Clearwater called the house around four thirty. I was just getting ready to start dinner. Jake answered the phone. His side of the conversation was interesting.

"Hey."

"No, she just started pulling stuff out the fridge."

"Uh-huh." Grunt.

"Really? That's kind of surprising."

"You know me, I'm always hungry."

"He's supposed to be out at regular time, I guess."

"Uh, I don't think I should be the one to pass that on…" nervous chuckle.

"Long story… I don't think I am his favorite person these days." Laugh.

"Sure, sure."

"What time you want us there?"

"See ya Sue."

Jake hung up the phone, and started putting everything I had taken out back into the fridge, and grinned at me like a Cheshire cat.

"What was that all about?"

"Interesting development. Sue and Emily are cooking a feast."

"What's the occasion?"

"The council decided to hold a meeting tonight to tell the histories again…"

"Wasn't I just _at_ one of those? Did someone new join the pack?"

"Yeah, that's the thing. They are welcoming the Cullens."

My eyes were bugging out of my head, and my jaw was practically dislocated as it dropped so far open.

"You're kidding, right?"

"Nope. We take this whole imprint thing seriously. We can't keep secrets from Edward, and we know that their family is close. Sam and the council have decided that it is in everyone's best interest to bring the Cullens into the fold, so-to-speak." I sat down on the nearest chair, shaking my head in awe at the whole scenario.

"She has decided to invite your dad for the dinner. She wanted _me_ to make the call, but after his reaction the other morning when I _hadn't_ defiled his daughter... I don't think I could bring myself to talk to him today when I have." I broke out into a fit of giggles.

"Seems to me I did my share of the _defiling_. Unless you are telling me that I wasn't your first?" I teased.

The next thing I knew, Jacob had me over his shoulder in a fireman's carry, and was headed for the stairs. I was shrieking and laughing, and flailing my arms and legs to no avail. I reached up and pinched his ass right at it's most sensitive spot, down low by the thigh where his cheeks meet. He knees buckled as he yelped, and almost dropped me. I laughed hysterically as he made it to my room, and flopped me onto my bed. He threw himself onto the bed beside me, and we laughed together until our sides ached.

"You know, that actually hurt." He complained at me through his laughter, and he got up to drop his pants to make me check it out.

I looked, and was shocked to see a rather small fading bruise. With his accelerated healing, and having seen a cut heal on him in a matter of moments, I felt truly horrible.

"I'm so sorry, baby. I knew I had pinched you hard, but I didn't mean to do _that_ much damage." I said as I the meaty part of his butt cheek.

"You know, if you _really_ wanted to show me how sorry you are, you could place your somewhere much more interesting." He teased.

"Again?" I grinned.

"What? I'm almost seventeen years old, and I have a really hot girlfriend who has sexy legs, perfect breasts, and an amazing mouth and hands. Forgive me if I want to put them to use!"

"Well, maybe you should go over to _her_ house, and tell her that!" I said as I pinched the other side, (not as hard) and elicited another yelp.

"Damn, Bella!" he spun around, lifted me up, and put me back down on my bed again, then he lifted my shirt, and blew raspberries on my stomach. We laughed, and tickled and teased and kissed each other for the next forty-five minutes. By the time we had gotten serious about making out, we had run out of time to do anything else.

We straightened out clothes, and I took a few minutes to tame my hair and make myself presentable. Jacob carried me piggy-back to the truck. We had fun joking around as we made our way to La Push, and the fifteen minute drive seemed much shorter than usual. Before we knew it, we were pulling up in the Clearwater driveway.

Edward's car pulled in just behind the truck. Leah stepped out, and my jaw about dislocated itself again. It was apparent that Alice and Rose had gotten their hands on her. She looked like a model. Jacob was even at a loss for words. I saw his mouth drop open, and his eyes go wide for just the briefest of moments before he pulled me against his side, and smiled down at me. I think he was afraid that I would be upset that he had noticed how great Leah looked. I was not jealous, as a matter of fact, if he_ hadn't_ noticed, I would have been offended for her. After all the times that she had been over looked, and even kicked in the teeth as it were by the pack, she was due her day in the sun.

I was pleasantly surprised, and very pleased to see Edward wrap his arms around her waist as he greeted up with his crooked grin. I was so glad to see that he was accepting Leah. I could see the bond between them was growing, and it warmed my heart. I was afraid that it was going to be difficult for Edward to let go of his attachment to me. He had once explained to me that vampires don't change easily, and that it had been a big deal that he had been able to open his heart to fall in love with me. He had been able to accept this change. I felt relieved because I had obviously moved on.

"Hi guys. How's it going?" I greeted them.

"Everything is wonderful." Leah beamed. I couldn't wait to get her alone later so that we could trade stories. After our long conversation yesterday evening, Leah had become a fast friend, and I knew that she was someone I could confide in, and trust.

The four of us walked through the gate and into the back yard together, turning all heads, and abruptly bringing most conversations to a pause. It was kind of comical to see the expressions of the faces of the pack members as Leah walked by. The make-over that Alice and Rose had done was a sight to behold, but far lovelier than that was the proud stance, and happy glow that had grown in Leah's countenance.

As we walked past everyone, we greeted them with smiles and nods. I laughed aloud as Paul walked out of the house with a can of soda that he was lifting to his lips, when he caught sight of Leah, his mouth fell open, and he lost all coordination, spilling the contents of the can on the front of his shirt.

Sam was following her movement with his eyes, and standing very rigidly. I noticed his Adam's apple bobbing convulsively as he swallowed. The tension was mounting as everyone took in the scene, and I could see concern begin to settle in on Leah's previously serene face. Edward noticed it too, and pressed his lips against her temple, whispering into her ear. She dropped her eyes and smiled, blushing at whatever he said to her.

I saw the flash of another set of headlights pulling up to the house. The rest of the family had arrived, and were quietly entering the gate. Esme, Carlisle, and Rosalie were all carrying large dishes of food over to add to the spread. I smiled, knowing that Esme was an amazing cook, which I was sure was going to shock everyone there who was "in the know".

As Jake and I stepped up onto the patio, I caught sight of Charlie and Billy. Charlie was leaning against the rail, sipping on a beer and laughing at whatever Billy was talking animatedly about. When he spied me, he nodded, then jerked his head in a "get over here" motion. I walked up to him, and gave him a quick hug. He wrapped an arm around my waist and kissed the top of my head.

"What did you do today, kiddo?"

"Eh, you know… I hung out with Jake." I shrugged, feeling a little bit guilty.

"You treating my girl right?" Charlie stared at Jake over my head.

"Always do." Jake smirked.

I looked up, and saw Edward's shocked expression. He was watching Jacob whose mind had undoubtedly gone back to this morning under the questioning of my father. He shook his head slightly, as disapproval lined his features.

I sighed deeply. I had no doubt that there would be a heated exchange in the field tonight. I gave my father another quick squeeze, and kissed Billy on the cheek before taking Jake's hand and leading him towards the food. When we were out of Charlie's hearing, I pulled on him so that I could whisper in his ear.

"I think we need to meet with Edward and Leah alone before tonight's session."

He shot me a puzzled expression, but shrugged. "If you say so."

Sue came out of the house to greet Carlisle and Esme. She hugged each one of the vampire family as they were introduced, and welcomed them to the family. Charlie was pushing Billy's chair over to the group with a guarded expression. I could tell that he was still struggling to forgive not just Edward, but the whole family, with the exception of Alice whom he had always adored.

As soon as both Sue and Billy had greeted Carlisle, shaking his hand warmly, everyone else seemed to drift over to make introductions. It was amazing to watch as my vampire, and werewolf families came together at last. It kind of broke my heart that my father seemed so standoff-ish still, especially when he had spent so much time trying to convince the Quileuttes to accept the Cullens in the first place.

Considering all of this led me to wonder what the plan was with regards to Charlie during the sharing of the histories tonight. Were they planning on including him? My heart began to race at the thought, and I made a beeline to Alice.

"Alice, I need to you try to look ahead. Is Charlie going to know the truth after tonight?"

Alice smiled sweetly at me, and placed a reassuring arm around my shoulders. I could tell that she was working up the words to tell me something significant, and I felt a little bit panicky about it.

"Shh. Relax Bella!" she whispered to me. "Charlie is going to hear the histories, but he isn't going to believe them fully, but it is going to get him thinking about it. I see two possible futures. Neither of them are anything to worry about. I can tell you, though that tonight will be the deciding factor. Tell me, are you afraid of a little scandal?"

My eyes grew wide as I considered her question. I wasn't sure what kind of scandal she might mean, and it made me uncomfortable. Did she mean a scandal involving _me_? If she did, I could think of only one truly scandalous thing that I had done lately, and I was most definitely afraid of _that_ scandal.

She looked at my face, reading the expressions that I know danced across it, and sighed in irritation.

"Bella, don't worry, your scandalous morning with Jacob is not going to spread for more than a week, so you have time to prepare for that. I meant a scandal involving your family."

I was unaware that there _was_ a scandal involving my family, and since it was just Renee, and Charlie, and me, and Renee wasn't there, that meant the scandal involved my _father_. The Chief of Police! I groaned inwardly.

"How bad?" I pleaded.

"Well, it will be a little bit uncomfortable for a while, but it will blow over, and when it does, your father will have a whole new life, and an expanded family. And he will know everything."

I considered what she was telling me, and could not imagine anything that he could have done that would be shocking to anyone.

"And if the scandal _doesn't_ come out?"

"Well, then your dad will continue to be lonely for another year and a half before he works up the courage to…" she stopped and obviously decided she was going to give too much away. "Well, at any rate, by the time he makes up his mind, he will not be told certain truths that would lead to a much fuller life in the long run, and he will never acknowledge the truth even though he will know."

I sat down on the ground, and rubbed small circles on my temples which were throbbing with the weight of the scenario.

"And there is something I can do to influence the outcome?"

"Yes."

"What should I do?"

"If you think you and your dad can deal with a little scandal in order to come to the _full_ truth, then be bold and speak your mind. If you are too afraid to face what the truth might be, then walk away."

"Alice, I have no idea what the _hell_ you are talking about."

"I know you don't right now, but you will. When the moment comes, you will know. Trust me."

I wasn't sure what to make of everything that Alice had told me, and I didn't have time to dwell on it too much, as Jacob had come over with a large plate of food, and was waiting rather impatiently to reclaim my attention. I gave Alice a hug, and moved to walk away, but she grabbed my hand, and put her mouth to my ear before I left her.

"Bella, you know I'm expecting you to talk to me about this morning, right?" she gave me a pointed look and raised an eyebrow wickedly. I grinned and blushed, and told her that I would find the time soon.

"I'll hold you to that!" she promised.

Jake led me to sit with him beneath a tree, and shoved the plate of food towards me.

"Here, take what you want." He offered around a sloppy mouthful.

"Gross, Jake! Didn't anyone teach you not to talk with your mouth full of food?" I whined.

"The attempt was made, but wolves are hard to housebreak!" he laughed.

"Clearly." I rolled my eyes, and took a piece of corn on the cob and started munching on it.

Jake was shoveling food in his mouth at a disgustingly rapid rate, and I was glad that I hadn't been too hungry, because I would have lost my appetite. I looked around at everyone gathered, and could not help but notice how easily everyone seemed to be getting along. It made my heart swell, and my eyes water. This was the very thing I had been hoping for all along. My magnets had finally flipped, and were cooperating. I felt like my family was finally complete.

Seth loped over to where Jake and I were setting, and struck up a conversation with us. I smiled at the youngest member of the pack. He was such a sweet boy. He looked a lot like Leah in his features, but his eyes and complexion were lighter. He had beautiful chocolate colored eyes, and he was tanned, but the copper of his skin was somehow not as deep as Leah's or Sue's. He had a sturdy shin, and his smile reminded me of someone. I figured it had to be Harry. I had met him a few times, but had not spent very much time around him, as he and Billy were Charlie's fishing buddies, and I hadn't been fishing with them in eons. Seth was such an outgoing, and likeable boy, I couldn't help but tussle his hair as he was getting up to leave us. He smiled.

As the food vanished, and some of the crowd began to dissipate, I got up to help clear the food up, and wash the dishes with Emily, Leah, and Rachael who had just gotten home from college. Alice and Rose pitched in too. The six of us made quick work of it, laughing and teasing along the way.

As we exited the house, we stopped and drank in the sight of our men. They had all stripped off their shirts, and were playing football in the yard. We stared and laughed as they trash talked, and one-upped each other. The one-upsmanship only got worse once they realized they were being watched. I looked towards the hill behind the yard where the "adults" were building a fire for the council meeting. They had paused to watch the camaraderie and laugh. Billy cupped his hands to his mouth and yelled out.

"Those of you coming to the council meeting, it is time to start. Those who are not staying should call it a night."

Rachael hugged Leah and I, and shook Rose and Alice's hands as she left with Emily. I was surprised that Emily was not staying.

"You're not coming?" Leah asked. (funny how we were so often on the same wavelength)

"No, Rebecca and I have a lot of catching up to do. Plus, I get tired to easily these days." Her eyes darted to Leah's face, and then to her own feet.

"Are you pregnant?" Leah gasped.

"Yeah, I just found out last week. We've been keeping it quiet."

"I'll say!" Leah chuckled, and her eyes darkened a little. So did Rosalie's. I wasn't sure what to make of it.

"Well, congratulations wolf-girl!" I hugged her excitedly.

"I guess I should call you the same now?" she raised an eyebrow. I blushed and nodded.

"Yeah, I guess so."

Racheal looked puzzled, and knew she was missing out on some inside joke.

"Don't worry, hon!" Emily patted her hand. "Paul will explain our little inside jokes soon enough." Rachael blushed as she walked away with Emily.

"Paul imprinted on her tonight." Leah explained.

"Well, I guess she's going to be at the next council meeting, isn't she?" I laughed.

Our perspective men were waiting for us in the yard, and the whole group of us walked towards the fire together, hand-in-hand.

~UUaAP~

Reviews are Welcome and Wanted.

Show me some love!


	17. Chapter 17 Old Hisotries End and New Wa

AN… Once again, the story took over, and the chapter that I set

out to write evolved into something else entirely, so you will have

to hold onto the suspense until the next chapter….

Which may not be up until next week, depending on how the rest

of the week goes for me at work. I know, I know! Go ahead and

get upset with me. I can take it! LOL

Thanks once again for all the support and love you show me

In your reviews, I read each one! I promise to try to update soon.

Disclaimer… I own nothing... Yada, yada, yada…

~UUaAP~

Chapter 17

_**Old Histories End,**_

_**and New Ways Begin **_

Bella POV

I snuggled up to Jake by the fire. The evening air was quite chilly, but between the fire, and Jacob's hundred and eight degree body temperature, I was plenty warm. I had heard the histories about a week ago, but I was excited to see Charlie, and the Cullen Family's response.

Billy took his place as the head of the Tribal Council. His voice resonated as he began to tell the story of Kahelaha, the first of the Spirit Warriors. Everyone around the fire was listening with rapt attention. Billy finished up his story and passed the the next legend to Old Quil Ateara.

Old Quil, his voice wavering, but still majestic, told the story of the Third Wife's Sacrifice. That of Taha Aki and the Cold Ones. Carlisle seemed especially interested in this segment of the the histories, leaning forward, his eyes dancing with excitement. I could practically see the wheels turning in his head. I wondered if he was trying to figure out time-frames, or identities. Whatever the case, he appeared to be fascinated.

Billy invited Carlisle to relate the story of the treaty from a first-hand point of view. Carlisle's expression was surprised, and he appeared to be at a loss for words for the shortest moment. Billy waved his hand, urging Carlisle to begin.

Carlisle straightened up, and began to speak in a strong, dignified voice. It rang with an authoritative tone I had never heard him use before.

"It was nineteen thirty-six, and my family, Edward, Esme, Rosalie, Emmett and I had decided to relocate to Hoaquim. We thought it to be the perfect balance of seclusion and cloud cover. We bought a small piece of land, and built a house. I took a job as a local physician, and enrolled some of our family in the local school. Esme, my wife," he grasped Esme's hand for a moment, smiling warmly at her "became very involved in the building of a local tribal school. It was a good life, and we lived for five months in harmony with our neighbors and community.

Once day while we were out hunting, we caught scent of a strange canine. It was something I had never smelled in my two hundred and seventy three years as a vampire. We found that whatever it was, was following us everywhere we went. Even onto our own land. After a week of being constantly on guard, and finding it difficult to hunt, we began to push out further, hoping to get away from the unknown creature's territory. Without knowing it, we had ventured into La Push. We found ourselves surrounded by the very creatures that we were trying to escape. We had unwittingly ventured into their territory.

Edward had immersed himself in the local languages and culture over the months that we had been living there, and as such had begun to learn some rudimentary Quileute. As the wolves approached us, readying for attack, Edward was able to hear their thoughts, and communicate with them. One of them, a Quil Ateara had pinned my wife to the ground, and had his teeth at her throat. Emmett attacked, and was trying to crush his chest in. I yelled for him to stop, and kneeled submissively in from the one who had introduced himself as the Alpha, Ephriam Black. I ordered Emmett to release his hold on Quil, and the rest of the family to kneel in submission to their great leader.

Edward translated as I entreated them to spare our lives. I explained that we fed only on animals, and that our desire was alike to theirs, to protect human life. Ephriam asked why our eyes were golden when all others of our kind that they had encountered had red eyes. I explained that it was the diet that caused the difference, and that he could always know a human drinker from an animal drinker by their eyes.

By some miracle, I convinced him that the words I was speaking were true, although he was still understandably wary of us. He promised us that no harm would come to us so long as we stayed off of their land, and promised to never bite a human. If we followed those two simple rules, they would spare our lives, and keep our secret. That very hour they showed us the boarders of their territory, and the lines of our treaty were born."

"We thank you for honoring us with this history." Billy spoke solemnly. "As of tonight, we, the Quileute people release your family from the bonds of our former treaty. We have watched through now four generations as your family has honored the treaty. This current generation has witnessed first-hand your tenacity in the protection of human kind. And now, with the blessing of the Ancestors, a union has been ordained between our people and yours, for we believe that Imprinting happens at the behest of the Great Spirit, and the approval of our ancestors." Billy straightened in his chair, holding his head high and proud, and looked at Edward.

"The Great Spirit of our ancestors has deemed you worthy to become one with our family, Edward Cullen. We welcome you." With that, Billy extended his hand toward Edward, and Edward rose to grasp it back.

Edward kneeled down on the ground, his hand still holding Billy's, and bowed his head slightly in the direction of the heads of the Tribal Council.

"I consider myself honored to have been chosen as protector and mate to so lovely a treasure as Leah Clearwater. I will strive to earn the sacred trust placed in me by yourselves, your ancestors, and your Great Spirit." He spoke with humility.

Sue stood, and pulled Edward to his feet. She placed a hand on either side of his face, and pulled his head forward to place a kiss on his forehead, then looked into his eyes for a long time in silence. After what felt like five minutes, she spoke to him for all to hear.

"Edward, I have watched you these past few days with my daughter. You could have refused the Imprint that was made, and sent her away. You have shown great honor in giving it a chance in the most difficult of circumstances. You were willing to sacrifice your heart in order to protect Leah, and to honor a way of life that you didn't even understand. For all of these reasons, we ask that you would take a place as a Tribal Elder."

The only sound to be heard was the crackling of the fire. I had never heard a silence so deafening. There were many different reactions displayed on the faces of the witnesses. Billy, Old Quil, and Sam looked on resolute and stoically solemn. Jacob and Seth looked surprised, but not displeased. Young Quil, and Embry looked a little bit confused. Paul and Jared looked incredulous, their eyes staring towards Sam as if demanding an explanation.

Carlisle and Esme looked every bit the proud parents that they were. Emmett could not wipe the "shit-eating-grin" off of his face. Rosalie, Jasper, and Alice had soft smiles on their faces.

The only one around the fire that really stuck out was Charlie. He sat looking dumbfounded, searching from face to face as if waiting for someone to deliver a punch-line. He kept shaking his head slowly, and every so often his eyes would lock onto mine with a dark and unreadable expression before roaming on. I was worried that at any moment he was going to either explode or pass out. I sought eye contact with Alice from across the fire. I kept looking at her, then pointedly over towards my father, willing her to tell me that he was going to be okay. She finally tore her eyes away from Edward and Sue long enough to give me a small smile of reassurance, and a quick nod. I decided to take that as a good sign, and willed my heart to stop beating wildly.

"I accept the honor that you are so graciously bestowing on me." Edward spoke diplomatically, and sincerely. "And, I promise to always honor your tribe's commitment to the protection of human life."

The somber mood seemed to lighten after that, as whispers and murmurs began to hum around the fire. It appeared that the Council meeting was over. People began to drift off to their perspective homes, or break apart into small groups heading back towards the Clearwater house. It was just after eleven at night.

Sam spoke loudly, and with great authority as everyone was milling about. "The training session for tonight is cancelled. There will be another tomorrow night. Tonight, Paul, Jared and I will stand guard. The rest of you, get a good nights' rest."

It felt like an official adjournment to a long and extremely eventful evening.

~UUaAP~

Reviews are always Welcome and Wanted!

Send me some love.


	18. Chapter 18 Secrets and Lies

An: Sorry this took longer than I had anticipated.

I re-wrote this chapter three times. It was my most

challenging one so far. This story is still un-Beta'd,

so I accept all responsibility for errors.

I hope it measures up!

Disclaimer: I do not own anything related to twilight.

I play with its characters.

~UUaAP~

Chapter 18

_**Secrets and Lies**_

Leah POV

As we wandered back towards the house, I noticed Bella holding back by the fire. Jake noticed it too, and quickly returned to her side. I stopped, and looked towards the pair with concern as Bella's posture seemed to crumple. Body language alone told me that something was really bothering her. I knew that it was wrong to stand under the protection of a tree and watch the couple as they were quite obviously in the middle of a private conversation, and a painful one at that, but I could not find it in me to turn away. Something was causing Bella pain, and I was so worried that she was having second thoughts. Who could blame her? He isn't "officially" mine, and I know that I could never just give him up.

Edward had said goodnight to his family, and had offered to take Billy home, so I had nothing much to do. I looked towards his car, and waved at him as he made to pull out of the yard.

_I'll be right back._ He assured me._ And, trust me when I say… you're wrong. Bella has most _decidedly_ not changed her mind._

What was _that_ supposed to mean? I didn't realize that I had thought anything of the sort, I mused and shrugged mentally, and turned to watch the couple by the dying fire. Bella had her forehead pressed into Jake's chest and her hands resting on his hips. Jake's hands were rubbing circles into the small of her back as he shook his head. With the yard quiet behind me, I was able to listen more intently, and hear snippets of their conversation. It was not right, but I didn't care, I had to know what was bothering her so.

"Bella, it's not his place!" his tone dripped with indignation.

"Probably not, but he _knows_ Jacob, and I saw the hurt in his eyes. He is still going to be protective towards me."

"You don't owe him an explanation, Bells. It is your life, it has _always_ been your life and your _choice_! Damn it, Bella! Don't you see how much he always controlled your choices? I have tried so hard not to make decisions for you… and I guess I won't make this one for you either, but I am _not_ going to try to justify myself to him, I don't _care_ if he has a seat on the council."

"You don't think that _that _could cause us problems, do you?" she sounded horrified.

Jake lifted her face to his, and stared into her eyes for a while. I knew that they were talking about Edward. What I could not figure out is what had happened hurt him? What would he feel protective enough about to cause this reaction? What would Bella feel the need to justify, and Jacob refuse to explain? I had clearly missed something this evening.

"Bella, I don't give a flying _fuck_ if they decided to make him the _chief_, I am not having this discussion with him. I may have to have it someday soon with your father, but I refuse to justify our relationship to Edward. If you are still so worried about what he thinks, then maybe we have moved too quickly." What started out in anger had turned to pain, as Jacob practically choked out the last sentence.

I hung my head in understanding. Bella and Jacob had apparently made some serious move forward in their relationship. I could only assume it was sexual, and I know that dear Edward could be somewhat of a prude. Even in his assurances today of desire for me, there was a thinly veiled attempt in his wording to communicate to me his desire to do things in accordance with his moral values. I can only assume that he _heard_ Jacob thinking about it. Edward already admitted to me that his and Bella's physical relationship had never gone beyond kissing. I can imagine that he would have been extremely adamant about that issue with her. I rolled my eyes, knowing that if Jake and Bella didn't leave before Edward got back, there _would_ be a confrontation. If Edward really knew, it was inevitable.

No sooner had the thought crossed my mind than I heard his car pulling back into the yard. I hung my head in defeat. I don't know why exactly _I_ felt defeated, but a part of me did. I watched Edward approaching me, his eyes filled with concern.

_Yes, beautiful, why should you feel defeated?_

I wrapped my arms around his waist and sighed against his chest as he pulled me tightly to himself.

_I guess I really feel defeated for Bella_.I answered as honestly as I could. His brows drew together as he looked down at me. I sighed deeply.

_Edward, she loved you. I have absolutely _no_ doubt that she desired to be with you sexually. You were undoubtedly correct in your assumption that Bella would have felt rejected by you… and I am not trying to make you feel badly! Believe me, I am not. My point is, Bella has a year's worth of pent-up sexual tension, and a horny as hell boyfriend. I know myself well enough to know that if I had had someone to move forward with after Sam, I would not have hesitated. Forgive me for being crass, but I'd have fucked Sam right out of my system if I'd had the chance. _

_So what are you saying? Let it GO? Don't tell Jacob that I think he's an ass for pushing Bella into a physical relationship? You are telling me to… what? Act like it's okay?_

_I am telling you that you are _not_ Bella's father! You have been controlling what Bella does and does not do sexually for over a year now. She's over it. She's free, and she gave herself to Jacob for her own reasons. She is an adult. She belongs to herself, not you, and not Jacob either. She deserves so much more than to have someone making her decisions for her._

_I never meant to make her decisions for her! I was just trying to protect her._

_Yeah, for her own good, I get it… but do _YOU_ get it? Let's be real here, Edward. If you had not forced her into a position of being alone with this red-headed vamp-bitch trying to kill her, she would not have developed a relationship with Jacob in the first place, or needed the protection of the pack. If you had not made that decision for her, and _forced_ your family to follow you out of her life, then maybe you would have staked the claim that Jacob now has. _

Edward's face contorted in pain, and I could see self-loathing creep into his eyes as he listened to my harsh thoughts. I felt terrible, knowing that everything that I was saying was hurting him, but this shit needed aired, and quick. He needed to know that I was _not_ like Bella in those regards. He would _never_ make decisions for me like that. He needed to see that as big as his heart is, and as much as he thinks he knows what is best, that he cannot really know a person's abilities based on their thoughts alone.

_I will never forgive myself. _

I stiffened my posture and pulled away from him as he thought this. My chin raised, and I rolled my eyes. I could not listen to him like this.

_If your sorry ass had not left her, setting all of these dominos dropping, then our families would still be at odds. Bound by a treaty, and forever keeping in the stagnation of suspicion and bitterness. And_ _I would not be healing. Your compassion, and beauty would never have touched my life. I would be alone, wallowing in self-pity. You may have some issues with control, but I know you meant well. I didn't mean to insinuate differently. We are all living with the consequences of that choice. I'd like to think that there are lasting benefits as well, Edward Cullen. First Vampire representative of the La Push Tribal Council! _

His eyes locked on mine for a moment. He looked like he was trying to gaze into my very soul. I still saw pain, but I saw something more, too. I saw hope. I reached up, and pushed his hair off of his forehead, tangling my fingers into his beautiful bronze locks, and I pulled his head down to place a chaste kiss on his lips. He sighed heavily, but gave me a smile.

_Beauty for ashes. I never really got it before._

I vaguely remembered this as another quote from scripture… I shook my head and giggled a little bit.

_My sweet vampire. You are _so_ strange!_ I laughed, taking his hand and tugging him in the direction of the house. He continued to stand there, though. He was still staring towards the couple now silhouetted by the embers. There was a wistfulness in his eyes.

"Can you let this go?" I was pleading with my eyes.

"I guess I have no other choice, have I?" there was defeat in his voice.

"Honestly, Edward, I think her decision was made when I imprinted. I think she gave herself over to Jacob that night. I think you know it too." I gave his hand a squeeze. He turned towards the house, and allowed me to lead him inside.

We headed towards the kitchen, I figured that is where I would find my mother so that I could thank her for helping to influence the council's acceptance of Edward, and to tell her good night. I already knew that I would stay with Edward tonight. I needed to be near him, and I wanted to get him away from the reserve for the night, hoping that it would help his resolve to leave Bella and Jacob alone.

I found Mom there, in her little corner of the kitchen as usual, between the sink and the coffee maker. Charlie was just walking out of the kitchen door as we entered. I smiled at him, and thanked him for being there for my mother. His gaze dropped to the floor, and he looked suddenly awkward.

There was something about the expression in his eyes that made me pause. He looked almost embarrassed. I shrugged, and chalked it up to his modesty, thinking he was probably embarrassed that I was thanking him, and acknowledging his kindness. He had always been my favorite "Uncle", a word I had used for him as a child. I grew up calling him "Uncle" Charlie. I had known him all of my life, and having him here for my mother was such a comfort. I really hoped that he could accept how much he meant to our family. How much he had meant to my father.

Charlie looked over his shoulder at my mother. "Sue, I'll be in the living room."

Mom's was standing in her corner, facing the window, and sipping her coffee. Her posture seemed to be slumped, and I heard her sigh. I figured she was tired after a long day of meetings, and cooking, and planning, then entertaining on top of it. She was a strong woman. I had always admired the way that she carried herself with strength and dignity.

She straightened up, and turned around with a bright smile that did not reach her eyes.

"It's okay, baby-girl! I'm just exhausted." She said knowingly as I narrowed my gaze at her. She knew that I was going to ask her what was wrong. We always read each other so well. I wrapped my arms around her, breathing in the scent of Pine Sol, and Jean Naté.

"Thank you." I breathed out airily. I knew that she knew what I was thanking her for. I had always been a "Daddy's girl", but Mom and I really knew each other well, even though we fought a lot.

"I suppose you two are headed out?" Mom asked, leaning back from our hug, and looking knowingly at Edward over my shoulder.

"Yep. We just came in to thank you and say goodnight." I confirmed to her. She grinned, and nodded, as she cupped my face in her hands, and gave me a kiss on the forehead.

"Baby-girl, I didn't get a chance to tell you earlier, but you look absolutely stunning tonight!" I blushed at her compliment. She had always tried to get me to dress as more of a "lady". Seeing me dressed like this made her day. "I think that the whole pack just about lost their shit when you walked in."

I laughed as I heard Edward's mental chuckle at my mother's choice of words. _Yeah, you got it all from the guys, right?_

_You judging, vampire boy? _ I laughed aloud as I thought this, and glanced at him over my shoulder, with a raised brow. He laughed back, shaking his head slightly.

"Am I missing the punch-line?" I turned back to my mother.

"Sort of. You know Edward can hear people's thoughts, right?"

"Yes, I have been informed." Her brows knit as she awaited further explanation.

"Well, we discovered that I can hear him when he is thinking his thoughts _to_ me. He can somehow project them into my mind. Or something like that, anyhow."

Mom's eyes opened wide, and her mouth popped open for a second before she could regain her composure. "Well, I guess that can make things interesting."

"Define interesting?" I hedged.

"Well, that means you can hold private conversations, right? Like the one you obviously just did?"

"Obvioulsy."

"I'll leave it to your imagination, dear. I really don't want to embarrass you two, and considering that Edward can hear my thoughts, I think he already knows what I am getting at."

I threw her a puzzled look, then turned to look at Edward who was suddenly finding his shoes of great interest as he shoved his hands in his pockets and avoided my questions and stare.

"I don't think he is going to them share with me." I surmised with a wry grin. I knew my mother well enough to know that there was some sort of sexual connotation there, but my brain failed to grasp her exact meaning. Mom just laughed, and gave me another quick squeeze, as she began to walk us to the door. I decided I was going to let this particular dog lie asleep. Edward appeared embarrassed enough for both of us, and I had no desire to ask him to relive his mortification later by asking him to reveal this singular thought of my mother's. She was feisty, and strong, and funny, and loving, and she had a penchant for being just a little bit perverse in her sense of humor. It was one of the things that my father had found most endearing about her. I usually found it embarrassing. It was her least dignified quality, and one that I wish like hell she had not passed on to me.

I waved goodbye to Charlie again as we passed him sitting on the sofa, drinking another beer, and watching EPSN. He nodded and grunted in acknowledgement, his eyes never leaving the television set.

~UUaAP~

Bella POV

"Bella, I don't give a flying _fuck_ if they decided to make him the _chief_, I am not having this discussion with him. I may have to have it someday soon with your father, but I refuse to justify our relationship to Edward. If you are still so worried about what he thinks, then maybe we have moved too quickly."

My heart ached. I wished I could explain to him why it mattered to me that Edward not think poorly of me. It shouldn't matter. I knew it shouldn't matter. But it did. He was my first love, and as much as I loved Jacob, and knew that he truly was the very soul of my being, I could not shake the fact that Edward mattered in my life. I knew that we were going to have to figure out how we fit into each other's lives now. I had seen the hurt evident in his eyes when he heard Jacob's thoughts about our lovemaking. I wasn't sure why it mattered, but I knew that expression in his eyes, and I hated knowing that it was there because of me.

"Jake, I do not regret making love to you. This morning was the most beautiful moment in my life so far! You have to know that I hold no regrets."

"Then why should we talk to him about this? Why do you care whether or not he approves?"

"I don't know. It _shouldn't_ matter. I know it shouldn't. I guess it's just a knee-jerk reaction to the pain I saw in his eyes when he heard you." I shrugged.

Jacob wrapped an arm around my waist, and pulled me tightly against him, tilting my chin with this other hand as he leaned in to kiss me gently and deeply. It was intimate and loving, and I melted into him, drinking deeply of the love that came spilling out so powerfully in it. Lost in that embrace, Edward's opinion of my intimate life with Jake ceased to matter.

We snuggled by the fire for another half hour or so before heading to the house to say goodnight to Sue, and to Charlie, who had imbibed at least a whole six pack over the course of the story telling, and would no doubt be crashing on the couch here tonight. He would be in no condition to drive home, and having tomorrow off, I was pretty sure that he would be fishing with Billy. Assuming, of course that he was not to terribly hung-over.

We walked into the kitchen, figuring to find Sue there, but it was empty. I heard murmuring coming from the living room, so we made our way there, and froze immediately at the scene in front of us.

Charlie and Sue were lying on the floor with their shirts open, his head resting on her chest. Sue's skirt was pushed up around her waist while he lay between her legs. Sue's hands were tangled in his hair, with his left hand cupping her breast, and his right hand was gripping her hip.

"I've never regretted it." Sue was saying. "How could I regret marrying him, Charlie? I would not have Leah. It doesn't matter anymore. You married Reneé not long after anyhow, if you remember. Can't we just leave all of the mess behind, and start over from here? I never stopped loving you." Her breath was still ragged from their activities.

Bile rose in my throat. I couldn't believe what I was seeing and hearing. They still hadn't noticed Jake and my presence. I was frozen in absolute horror. Jake was tugging on my arm, trying to get me out of the room, and after a moment of hesitation, I complied. I wanted to run away, and never look back. The betrayal of two families was suddenly out in the open, and I wanted to erase it from my mind.

Alice's words came back to me as I emptied my stomach into the yard. I retched and heaved until there was nothing left to come up, and still the retching continued. Jacob stood there watching me helplessly, his hand rubbing circles on my back while he held my hair for me. I knew that I had a decision to make. Did I want to know the extent of their betrayal? Had my father been having this affair forever? Is this the real reason Mom left him?

Alice had said that confronting him now would ultimately bring him a more fulfilling life. The question I found myself asking was this… did he deserve it? The idea of walking away, and forgetting everything I had just seen, sweeping it under the proverbial rug, and burying my head in the sand was somewhat appealing. Could I really sit down and listen to the story of their infidelity? I shuddered.

"What can I do?" Jake implored. "Should I take you home?"

I bit my bottom lip, and closed my eyes, trying to think of what I should do. I decided to tell Jake about Alice's revelation, and ask his opinion.

"Shit, Bells. I don't know! I can't imagine what I would do if I found out my dad had been unfaithful to my mom." He blurted. "What is your gut telling you?"

I leaned my head into his chest, and breathed in his scent. I knew I needed to be rational about this, and that part of rationality is finding facts. I was so exhausted. All I wanted to do was to go to bed, sleep in my Jacob's strong arms, and forget what I had just witnessed.

Ugh! Learning of the infidelity was bad enough, why the hell did I have to actually see the sweaty aftermath of my father having sex? I wanted to scrub my brain with bleach. It all left me feeling so incredibly… icky.

Another part of me knew that Charlie had suffered after Reneé left him. I knew that he still got drunk on their anniversary every year. I knew that he kept a picture of their wedding day framed under his pillow. I knew that he had been trying so hard to take good care of me over the last eighteen months. I knew that he loved me, and that in spite of what had just happened, I loved Charlie. I would always want what was best for him. I knew that my mind was made up.

I pulled myself up straight, and began to walk back toward the house. Jacob stopped me.

"I can't do this with you. I love you, and will be here for you, but I have no right to be privy to this." He kissed my forehead, and wrapped me in a tight hug. "I'll be at my house. Come over when you are ready." And he left.

I marched decidedly up the porch, and opened the door, loudly making my presence known.

"Okay, you two had better make yourselves decent, because I am coming in there in about twenty seconds. You have some explaining to do!"

~UUaAP~

Reviews are Welcome and Wanted.

Reviews show your love!


	19. Chapter 19Tainted memories, Broken Live

AN… This is my longest chapter so far. I thought this one

through for hours last night, and woke up still obsessing

over it. I hope that it comes across the way it did in my

head.

Disclaimer: Stephenie owns it all.

~UUaAP~

Chapter 19

_**Tainted Memories,**_

_**Broken Lives,**_

_**And Family Ties**_

~UUaAP~

Bella POV

As I entered the living room, the first thing I noticed was that they were seated separately. He on the couch, her on the love seat. Both had straightened their clothes and hair. The television was back on. They were trying to act as though nothing had occurred. They were hoping that my intrusion was about anything else but them. I rolled my eyes and chuckled darkly.

"Too late guys, the jig is up. I saw everything."

"I don't know what you are talking about, Bells. What is it you think you saw?" Charlie's eyes were guarded, and his voice tight.

"I saw enough to make me literally lose my dinner. I heard enough to know that this is not new. I want answers."I stood there, staring them down, daring either one to deny it. Sue could not meet my eyes. Charlie sighed heavily, and dropped his head.

"Sue, you might as well sit with him." I wanted to sit down and wait for their explanation, but I was not willing to sit beside either of them right now. I was so grateful that Seth had gone to Colin's house for the night, overhearing this conversation was the last thing that that sweet kid needed.

"What exactly is it that you are wanting from us, kid?" Charlie huffed, seemingly backed into a corner, and resenting it.

"I want to know how long _this_" I gestured to the two of them, "has been going on! I want to know the whole story here, no holding back."

"What story?" Charlie spat, still trying to deny what he now knew that I knew. "I'm still not sure what it is that you think you saw!"

"Fine. You want me to say it? I will. I came in here about twenty minutes ago, but you were so caught up in your post-coital bliss that you didn't hear me. I saw you lying on the floor, heaving and groping on top of Sue with her legs all wrapped around you. I'm not exaggerating when I said I lost my dinner. The proof is in the yard." I glared at him, daring him to try to deny it again.

His head dropped, and his ears burned red with shame and embarrassment. Sue was still silent at his side. I drew my feet under myself, making it obvious that I was settling in to hear the story. I knew that he was the parent here, but I felt I was owed an explanation.

"How long?" I demanded. Neither of them would look at me. I pulled my hair in frustration, and growled as I waited for an answer. Five minutes had passed, and neither one of them would look at me, and neither one of them was willing to give me an answer.

"I'll wait as long as it takes, but you two are not leaving this house until I get an answer." Silence. More waiting.

"You know, morning comes at the same time every day, and I think you want this awkwardness done _before_ Seth arrives home." It was blackmail, and it was cruel, but it worked.

"NO!" Sue stood to her feet, and shouted, her breath coming in short, uneven bursts. "Leave Seth out of this!" she pleaded. "We will tell you _anything_ you want to know, I promise, just please, _please!_ You can't." she choked out a sob, her eyes were on fire, begging me to leave Seth out of it.

"The faster you two explain, the faster we get this over, and Seth will be none the wiser."

"Deal."

I glared past Sue at Charlie, waiting for him to say something, anything. Sue stood there, wringing her hands, and swallowing back tears. After a few more moments of agonizing silence, Charlie stood, and wrapped his arms around Sue, turning her towards him, and soothing her with whispers, and kisses to her forehead and temple. I had never seen my father display such affection. The tenderness and intimacy between them was heart-wrenching. I felt a chink in my resolve, and had to look away for a moment. Looking at them made me think of what it might have looked like to watch Jacob and I in our private moments. There was love there. I wondered how I could have missed this before.

I looked back to see Charlie seating her beside him, and tucking her to his side. She clung to him like a she was holding on for dear life. Charlie's chin rested on her head, and he glared at me for a moment before softening his gaze.

"What is it you want to know?" he asked again.

"I want to know how and when this began." I told him softly.

"Began?" Charlie chuckled softly, as if amused by some private joke. "I don't know. It has always been."

I was flabbergasted. I couldn't fathom what that meant. "Explain." I begged him.

~UUaAP~

Charlie POV

Sue was clinging to me still, her body wracking with silent sobs. We had been caught, finally. I could not believe that we had gone our whole lives without the truth being exposed. I had always known that Harry knew. It was the white elephant in the room that he refused to acknowledge. His sense of dignity and duty, and his love for his family allowed him to overlook the blaring truth exposed here tonight.

Why did it have to be Bella? Not that it would have been better if it were one of the other kids. Why couldn't it have been Billy, or Sam? Why did this whole night seem to spiral out of control? What good did it do to ask why? It had happened. It was inevitable. I was shocked as hell that it had not happened years ago. It's not like we even tried to cover out tracks very much.

Now, here we were, facing the consequences of our choices, twenty-something years too late. We had made a mess of so many things in this life. I sat, holding the woman that I had loved my whole life, the one that had belonged to another all of hers, and stared into the bewildered eyes of the daughter that I loved so much, just wanting to go back and do everything over again.

If I could have, I would have, but that would mean that neither of us would have had the children that we treasured, and that could not be tolerated. They were the only thing that kept us from abandoning everything to be together.

Bella was patiently waiting for my explanation. It was that very explanation that I was afraid would shatter five lives tonight, three of which deserved none of it. My heart sank as I swallowed back the bile rising in my throat. Bella deserved the truth, but not the pain that I knew it would bring.

I had never told Bella about her true heritage. My true heritage. I had already done the research last winter while she and Jacob were becoming so close. I had panicked when I thought about the burgeoning relationship, and what my secrets could mean to the two of them. Thankfully, I had discovered that there was nothing to worry about. Not a strong enough blood tie to cause problems should they pursue a romance. A secret part of me had been so grateful when Edward came back, in spite of my loathing him for how badly he had hurt my daughter, he had saved me from having to reveal it all back then. It didn't matter though, because it was all coming out anyhow. My grandmother had been right. All of our darkest matters face the light of day sometime.

I decided to start from the beginning. If she was going to know the story of Sue and I, then she had to know its entirety, beginning with the fact that we are part of the Quileute tribe.

Ephriam Black was my Great-great Uncle. His half sister, Annah was my Great Grandmother. As Annah's descendents married outside of the tribe, a diluted the blood line, they moved away and were virtually forgotten. My Grandmother, Naomi had chosen to move back to la Push after her husband died. My father was a selfish man who always felt entitled to the best in life. He had knocked my mother up during her senior year of high school, and her parents had kicked her out, disowning her. When my grandmother learned about her situation, she insisted that my mother move in with her, and so I was born on the reservation.

My mother never forgot my grandmother's kindness, and would send me to spend my summers with her. I stayed with my Gran every summer from the time I can recall until I was twenty years old. * I grew up with Billy Black, Harry Clearwater, and Susan Long. We played and fought together on First Beach every year. I had always seen Susan as the most beautiful girl in the world, and had taken it upon myself to be her defender. Billy and Harry were bigger than I was, but that didn't matter to me, I would always stand up to them when it came to Susan. She always knew that when I was around, they could not pick on her, or bully her. I loved her with my whole heart, even as a seven year old.

By the time we were teenagers, I learned that the Longs and the Clearwaters still held to many old traditions, including arranged marriage. It had been arranged upon Susan's birth that she would marry Harry when they were of age. It was simply a given. She and Harry had both resigned themselves to this duty. It was not a sacrifice to Harry, as he had always loved her too. It was a great sacrifice to Susan. She had declared her love to me on her thirteenth birthday, and from that moment on, she had been my girl.

The triangle came to a head on Susan's seventeenth birthday, when Harry produced a ring. He was staking the claim that his parents had made for him. He told me that he knew that I loved Susan, but that she had been promised to him from birth. That this was their way, and that there was nothing to be done for it.

Susan and I silently rebelled, sneaking out every night to be together at the beach. We made love for the first time that very night, promising each other to find a way out of this. Harry staked his claim with a ring, I staked my claim with my body and soul. Harry sensed that we were plotting, and decided to "up his game", wooing Susan during my absence in the school year.

When I came back the next summer, Susan avoided me like the plague. She refused to allow me to call her Susan anymore whenever we _did_ see each other, demanding that I call her Sue as all of her friends did. It took me the first half of the summer to wear her down, and get her to spend time alone with me. Eventually she agreed to meet me at First Beach at two in the morning as we had done in the past. When I got to our private spot, she was already there, asleep. Her eyes were puffy, and her face was stained with dried tears. I pulled her into my arms and rocked her gently until she awoke to fresh tears, and began to plead with me to forgive her. Harry had successfully seduced her the night of graduation, and she had been giving herself to him ever since. I struggled with her betrayal, but my love for her remained resolute. I could not give her up.

I told her that I forgave her, and that I didn't blame her. We cried together, declaring our love anew, and made love on the beach that night, and every night after for five glorious weeks. I was sure that she was mine. My girl forever. She told me that she was going to leave with me in two weeks, at summer's end. She was going to follow me wherever I went, and we would spend our lives together. Happiness oozed out of my every pore during those precious weeks.

Those precious weeks came to an abrupt end. Sue had not met me on Wednesday night. I worried about her, and called the next morning to find out if she was okay. She answered the phone, and said that she had been sick, she was sorry. Her voice was hollow, though. She sounded wrong, not like my sweet happy girl. I questioned her, but she just told me it was because she was not feeling well, and she ended the call quickly.

Thursday night passed without seeing Sue once again. I refused to call, and bother her. I didn't want to sound like I was being needy, or pushing her. When she did not show again Friday night, I knew that something was terribly wrong. We were supposed to leave on Tuesday, and she was avoiding me. I had to find out what was going on.

I went to the Long house, and noticed there were no cars, and the house was empty. I went to the Clearwater's just in time to see the cars pulling away with everyone dressed up in their Sunday best.

I ran back to my grandmother's house, and borrowed her car. I sped along as fast as the car would take me, getting pulled over along the way. My spotless driving record got me out of a ticket, but I knew by now I had no chance of catching up to the Clearwater's car.

When I returned home I found my grandmother waiting for me. Her eyes were filled with tears. She pulled me into her embrace, and told me how sorry she was while she started to rock me from side to side. She didn't say what she was sorry for, but I knew. I knew that Harry had stolen my girl. I knew in my heart that she was marrying him right then. The girl who had become the other half of my heart was gone from me forever.

I said my goodbyes to Gran that night, and left La Push behind me. I enrolled in Community College to get a bachelor's degree in Criminology, then joined the Police Academy. I studied hard, honed my skills as a sharp shooter, and worked out obsessively. I graduated second in my class of fifty-eight students. It was not hard to get a posting in the elite SWAT force in the Seattle PD.

I loved my work. I was honored to be among those who protected and served the people in the city. It was physically and emotionally draining work. I had never seen so many people doing terrible things to each other. I tried to forget my pain, but failed miserably. Everywhere I looked, something would make me think of my Susan. I could call her that now, she could not refuse me.

Gran called me early the following spring to tell me about the brand new Clearwater baby. She didn't mean to be cruel - I knew that, even though it felt like a knife had been stabbed through my heart. She told me in the hopes that I would move forward. I spent the next five months wallowing in agony, drinking myself into oblivion when I was not on duty. My work suffered. I had made the rank of Sergeant in less than six months, but now my Commander was cooling in his attitude towards me. We had grown close quickly, and Steve spent a lot of time trying to help me achieve my new ranking. He was the one who kicked me in the ass, and helped me to get out of my little pit of despair.

By June, I received a commendation for valor after assisting in a seriously fucked up domestic invasion involving a mother and her two teenage daughters. Everyone but the perp had survived, and I came out with a bullet in my arm. It was not a really bad wound, and I healed quickly, but I gained some notoriety, and found myself hounded with offers from other agencies across the country including Chicago, New York, and LA. I decided I really liked the idea of warm weather, and sunshine, so I accepted the offer from the LAPD SWAT division.

After just one month, I found that I was miserable. I yearned for the comfort of the familiar. I hated being so far from Gran and my mother. The only good thing that came out of my time in LA was meeting Reneé. We met at a nightclub, Club Soda Saturday Night. I had given in and gone out with some of the guys in my unit, but was not expecting to have any fun. My plan was to leave early, but you know what they say about the best laid plans of mice and men…

I was standing at the bar, waiting for the bartender to bring me a Heineken when I felt a small hand on my back. I turned around, and found myself looking into the most beautiful chocolate brown eyes ever set in a perfectly heart shaped face. Her huge, perfectly coiffed, curly brown hair fell over her bare shoulders, and the most breathtaking smile graced her face. She introduced herself as Reneé, and I was done.

Her fun loving, crazy personality matched with her amazing eyes, and beautiful body won me over, and I found myself proposing just thirty days after I met her. It was the most idiotic, and impulsive thing I had ever done, and I never regretted it. Not even when she left me just three years later, taking my precious Bella with her. We had two years of bliss, and happiness, even after I moved us to Forks. The day she found out that she was pregnant, I started making plans to move. Gran had told me about the opening in the Forks PD, and I could not wait to go back to the climate and peace of northern Washington.

When I returned home with a bride, and made a happy home, I thought it would be great to renew old friendships that I had left behind. And it was. Billy and I began to get together to fish every Sunday, and after a few months, Harry joined us. It was a little bit awkward in the beginning, but we let those dogs sleep where they lay. Reneé and Sue met over our first Thanksgiving together. Gran hosted a big feast, and invited half of La Push. The two women that I had loved really seemed to hit it off well, and began to bond over babies and housekeeping.

We became virtual fixtures at the Clearwater home, and I grew to love my little "niece" Leah. I loved to throw her in the air, and tickle her. I read to her, and played dolls and tea parties with her, and Reneé seemed to love that side of me. When Bella was born, I jumped into fatherhood with both feet. The two years I had as a full time father were the two most wonderful years I could have imagined. When Reneé left, my world went dark, and gray. My summers with Bella were the only bright spots of solace in my solitude.

The spring after my girls were gone, another rug was pulled out from under my feet. Harry had decided that he was going to leave Sue, and find his soul mate. It hit her out of the blue. There were no warning signs, no fighting or silences. There were no complaints or apparent difficulties in communication. She simply woke up one Saturday morning to find him already dressed, and setting in the living room next to his suitcase. He handed her a note, and walked out of the door.

I found purpose for a time, in consoling Sue, and playing surrogate father/Uncle Charlie to Leah. For the first few weeks, it was a purely platonic arrangement. I stayed in the guest room, or fell asleep on the sofa watching the late news. I hated the idea of leaving the girls alone. It about killed me every day to see Leah missing her father, knowing that my Bella must feel the same way.

As one might expect, Sue and I began to grow close again as we comforted each other through the loss of our spouses. One night, we got a little bit buzzed over a bottle of wine, and started reminiscing over our childhood. Sue admitted to regretting the way she _didn't_ end it with me. The marriage was a spur of the moment/shotgun type of arrangement. She had discovered that she was pregnant, and her parents immediately insisted that she and Harry be wed that weekend. I had always known that Leah was born fairly quickly, but I had never done the math. As I thought back over that summer, my brain froze. My eyes asked her the question that my voice could not. Her eyes turned hard. She assured me that Leah was Harry's child, and closed that line of discussion before it could even be opened. I had no choice but to believe her.

We ended up sleeping the night in each other's arms, and woke in the early morning light to a rekindled flame. We made love every night, and every morning for three beautiful months. Her heart was mending, as was mine. We were making plans on a Saturday morning to go out on an official date that night. We decided that enough time had passed, and she had already filed for legal separation. I had my girl back, and the prospect of a new life together. I was happy as a clam. For about four hours.

Harry arrived at the house at one o'clock that late July Saturday. I had taken Leah out for ice cream to spend some one on one time with her, and to give Sue an afternoon of peace to pamper herself, as those were rare times for her. When I brought Leah back to the house, I saw the truck in the yard. I knew instantly what was happening. History was repeating itself, and I could see the shades of gray begin to cloud my colorful future. Harry stepped out of the house and greeted Leah, who happily squealed, and ran into his open arms. Forgiveness comes easily to a four year old. Harry gave me a cheerful clap on the shoulder, and a hearty thank you for taking such good care of his girls in his absence.

I wanted to hurl. I wanted to beat the living hell out of him for what he was doing to Sue, and to me. I wanted to grab my girls, and run for the hills. I didn't do any of those things. I knew that Sue would not divorce Harry now. I knew from the look in his eyes that he knew exactly what had happened after his departure, and that he was not going to be a fool enough to leave again. I could see his determination. I knew I had lost my girls. Again.

After Seth was born, and life had gone back to an empty pattern for her, Sue began to sneak away to see me once a week. We knew that it was wrong, and that she needed to be there for her husband and children, but it was the only spark of color in my life, and it was the only outlet for her passion. In those moments, we were Susan and Charles. We accepted that this was our life. These were the only pieces we could have of each other. The stolen moments of passion once a week for the last fifteen years.

Even after Harry died, we kept up the charade. We could not allow our children to know. But then again, here we were, pouring out the story of our decent into infidelity to one of the three people we had wanted most to save from its knowledge, while I held onto the woman who had held my heart since I was a seven year old child.

~UUaAP~

Bella POV

I sat in silence the entire time my father poured his guts out on the floor for me to witness. I watched as he teared up, and seethed his way through the story. I had always known that my father had suffered heartbreak in his life, but I had never been privy to the extent of his pain. He had always hidden the darkness of his past from everyone. It was hard to reconcile the man in front of me with the man that I had been living with for the last year and a half.

As I turned the story over and over in my mind, Alice's voice kept ringing in my ears.

_"Well, it will be a little bit uncomfortable for a while, but it will blow over, and when it does, your father will have a whole new life, and an expanded family. And he will know everything."_

_I considered what she was telling me, and could not imagine anything that he could have done that would be shocking to anyone._

_"And if the scandal __doesn't__ come out?"_

_"Well, then your dad will continue to be lonely for another year and a half before he works up the courage to…" she stopped and obviously decided she was going to give too much away. "Well, at any rate, by the time he makes up his mind, he will not be told certain truths that would lead to a much fuller life in the long run, and he will never acknowledge the truth even though he will know."_

If there was something that he was not being told, and he had to be told in order to have a full life and an expanded family…

I got up from my seat, and walked over to where they were seated. I knelt in front of them, and grabbed Sue's hand, looking her in the eyes, and pleaded with my own for her to fill in the gaps. I knew something was missing.

"Sue. What are we missing?" I asked her gently.

Tears flooded her eyes anew, and she began to shake her head violently, pursing her lips. She looked like she might explode while trying to contain whatever it was that she was holding back. I looked at Charlie, then pointedly back to Sue, willing him to see that there was something not right. He did. He sat up, and grabbed her shoulders, gently shaking her.

"Sue, is there something you have kept from me?" he demanded in a hushed tone.

A guttural sob broke from her lips, and Sue dissolved before us. She sobbed for the better part of an hour, and the sun was beginning to rise. We had been at this story for over four hours, followed by this break down, and time was slipping away.

"Sue, please. You need to pull yourself together. Either tell us what we need to know, or go to bed. Seth will be home soon, I am sure." I encouraged her.

She wailed loudly at the mention of Seth's impending arrival, and Charlie and I were at a loss for what we should do. Charlie finally decided to carry Sue to her room. He asked me to call Carlisle and see if he would come over to help us calm her down.

Just as Charlie stepped onto the landing at the bottom of the staircase, the front door burst open, and in stepped Seth and Leah. Sue's wailing increased with their arrival, and she began to shake so hard under her sobs that Charlie almost dropped her, and had to sit down.

Seth and Leah rushed to their mother's side, horrified at the scene in front of them.

"What happened?" Leah demanded to know.

"Why are you here?" I asked her. I had a sneaking suspicion that a pixie sprite may have set this up.

"Alice told me…" she began.

"Yeah, Alice. I figured." I interrupted.

"She told me that Seth was in need of a ride home, and that my mother needed me."

I saw the tears begin to fall down my father's face s he held the broken form of his love, and faced the three people from whom he had tried to hide this shame for all of these years. It was the first time I had seen my father cry.

"Oh, Daddy! Don't cry." I begged him, with tears falling from my own eyes. I single sob wracked his chest, as he and I realized simultaneously that I had just called him Daddy for the first time in over six years.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry!" Sue began to chant. Over and over she repeated it.

Leah cupped her mother's face in her hands, and began to wipe her hair off of her tear soaked face. "What are you so sorry for, Mom? What did you do?"

"I'm so sorry I lied. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I lied, I lied. I lied to everyone. I'm sorry." Her hysteria began to take on yet another level. Leah looked to me with a panic stricken face.

"I'm calling Carlisle." I told them, and ran to the phone. Carlisle picked up on the first ring.

"Alice said you would be calling. What can I do?" his voice was full of concern.

"I think she needs a sedative. She is in hysterics." I pleaded.

"I'm on my way out the door right now. I'll be there in five minutes." And he hung up.

When I got back to the living room, I noticed that Charlie, Sue and Leah were missing. Seth told me that he had helped Charlie get his mom into her bed, and Leah was changing her clothes, and trying to help calm her down.

"What happened, Bella? Why is my mom so upset?" Seth's eyes were overflowing with tears. It broke my heart to see him cry. I wrapped him in a hug.

"I don't really know, kiddo. I wish I did." I told him in all honesty.

I heard Carlisle's car pull up. I wondered just how fast he has driven to get here this quickly. I figured it was a good thing that the roads were usually pretty empty in Forks at five am.

"Where is she?" he asked. I opened the door before he could knock.

I pointed and Carlisle ran at vampire speed up the staircase. He entered the room, and sat beside her as he talked to her in a gentle voice. Everyone but Charlie left the room while Carlisle examined his patient.

Seth went into his room, and closed the door. The poor kid was overwhelmed with worry for his mother. Leah grabbed my hand, and lead me to the living room.

"Tell me what you know." She demanded. I chewed my lip as I considered what exactly I should tell her. "Alice said that some serious shit was going down, and that Seth and I needed to be here this morning early. She said you would know the truth by now, so spill it." Her eyes were burning with anger.

"Sue and Charlie have been lovers since they were seventeen." My eyes dropped to the floor.

"No. You're lying."

"I wish I were."

"How did you find out?"

"I walked in on them, and left my dinner on the lawn."

Leah sunk to the floor, shaking her head in disbelief, and reached for my hand. I sat beside her, and we wrapped our arms around each other, sharing each other's misery.

"I'm sorry you had to see that, Bella."

"Not sorrier than I am, believe me." I shuddered.

"That's a fucking lie! I am Harry Clearwater's son!" Seth came barreling down the stairs, shouting as he fled. He exploded in a puff of shredded clothes and fur as he burst out of the door.

Leah looked torn. Part of her really wanted to follow Seth to comfort him, but part of her wanted to stay and find out what had just happened. I told Leah that I would call Jacob and send him after Seth. She freaked out at the idea of more people finding out.

"Leah, Jake was with me when I walked in on them. Believe me when I say, he knows enough already."

"Call him."

"Hello?" Jake answered on the seventh ring with a groggy voice.

"Jake, baby I need you to wake up quickly. All hell has broken loose here, and Seth ran out of here screaming a few minutes ago. He phased on the fly, and I need you to track him down."

"Sam's still out on patrol, and I am sure he is already on it, Bells."

"NO! You don't understand. Some serious shit has gone down. I need you to do this, please? Leah and I need _you!_" I petitioned.

"Okay, if it means this much for you, I'll go! I'll call you or bring him home as soon as I am able."

"I love you, Jake." My voice broke.

"I love you, Bells."

I ran up the stairs to join Leah and my father, and to find out what the hell had Seth screaming about being Harry Clearwater's son.

~UUaAP~

Reviews are Welcome and Wanted.

Reviews show me your love.

*I am debating about writing an expanded story based on the relationship between Charlie and Sue. The more thought I put into it, the more I realized I could write a whole book on it… Opinions?


	20. Chapter 20 World Upside Down

AN… So, here's yet another long chapter.

More shocks, more revelations. Hope you like.

Please, if you have time, stop by my home page,

and vote on my poll!

Disclaimer: Although we all wish we were SM, and owned the

awesomeness that is Twilight, none of us are, and none of us do.

Sadly, this includes me. I am just privileged to play around with

her characters.

Chapter 20

_**World Upside-Down**_

Leah POV

It could not be true. It had to be the medication talking. Seth and I were Clearwaters, period. I refused to consider the possibility that my brother or I could be Swans. Mom told us her story an hour ago, repeating the same story that Seth overheard, driving him out of the house.

It seems that every time my mother consummated her relationship with Charlie, dear old dad would run in and take his place at the trough, getting his sloppy seconds. Apparently Dad knew about Seth. He knew that there was no way Seth was his own son, but in his need to possess my mother, and assert the Clearwater name, he claimed paternity. Mom was already three weeks pregnant when he came back to her. Apparently his leaving was just his way of seeing if Mom loved him like he claimed to love her.

I wondered if it meant anything to him that she waited over six weeks without hearing a word from him before seeking solace in Charlie's arms? Didn't he realize that Charlie was Mom's first… everything? What had he expected, that she would never move on? That she would pine over him forever? Maybe he thought it started back up between them the moment Charlie crossed the threshold. Who knows? Harry is dead, so he's not talking.

Carlisle seemed to think that after Mom had had a good long sleep that she would be back to her chipper self. I wasn't so sure. She had compartmentalized everything in her life for so long, and all of the walls that she built up crashed around her last night. Her whole world was a heap of rubble. I sure hoped that Charlie was a strong enough anchor in her life. He seemed to really love her.

It's funny. Looking back, I could vaguely remember that time. I remembered Uncle Charlie reading me bedtime stories, and tucking me in at night. I remembered tea parties, and visits to the ice cream parlor. I remembered missing my father, and being so excited when he came home. I remembered piggy-back rides with daddy, and swinging around in circles, and missing Charlie. Daddy didn't read the stories right at night, or make Mommy smile in the morning. He didn't dance with her after dinner, or tell us how pretty we were every day.

My heart ached as I recalled those days that I had not thought much about in fifteen years. I remembered that before Daddy left, he would touch Mommy's face, and tell her he loved her every morning before leaving for work, but after he returned, he hardly ever even talked to her. Their marriage was empty. I remembered thinking so as a teenager, but I really thought that it was typical for people who had been married for years. Seeing how much Charlie still loved Mom after all of these years, and knowing how long Carlisle and Esme had been together, and seeing how they still looked at each other, I had seen a love that could last. It's actually possible, I had proof now.

I suddenly felt the need to have Edward near me. He had lent me his car to bring Seth home. I wondered if it would be overly possessive to call, and ask him to come to me. I needed to borrow his calm. Even the times that he had upset me, he had always managed to bring me back to calm. I didn't want to seem pushy or needy, or even clingy. I had always hated clingy, needy bitches, and I didn't want to be one. (Who was I kidding? I was already clingy, needy, and possessive… and I knew it.) I decided to call, just to talk. I could not admit to myself that I would ask him to come over.

"Leah?" his voice soothed me instantly.

"Edward." I breathed, relief flooding every fiber of my being.

"Is your mother okay?" his voice was thick with his concern.

"Carlisle has her put out for now. He thinks she'll be okay."

"How are you?"

"Better now. I needed to hear your voice."

"I'm on my way to hunt right now. I'll be there in an hour and a half… Well, I mean. That is, if you want me there." It was sweet how he stumbled and sounded suddenly nervous.

"I will always want you, Edward."

"Then I will always be there."

"Edward?"

"Leah?"

"I… " it was too soon to say it, but my heart was bursting with it in that moment.

"I know." Could he hear my thoughts over the phone too?

"Edward?"

"Leah?"

"I meant it."

"Me too. See you in a bit."

Edward stayed true to his word, and was there with me in less time that he had quoted. I was snuggled against his chest, breathing in his scent and presence, and basking in his calm. I was due to go on patrol at seven that evening, and it was already one o'clock. Time was a precious commodity, and I was greedy to spend all of it with Edward that I possibly could.

I napped against his chest, reveling in the cool of his touch. As I slept, my dreams were a puzzling blend of my early childhood, and my present day life. Edward appeared to me over and over again in my childhood segments, whispering to me of a lifetime filled with love, and then he was touching my face, and professing his commitment to me as he pushed and strained inside of me in my present. It was both passionate and slow. We were fire and ice. We moved in perfect unison, giving and receiving pleasure. The dream was so intense, I swear I came.

I awoke, fully sated to Edward touching my face, his nose pressed against my neck. I turned my face to him, and placed a shaky, breathless kiss against his forehead. My whole body felt like a bowl of pasta, all limp and languid. I still felt the clenching shudders of my orgasm. It was the most exquisitely real dream I had experienced, and this time I could remember it all with perfect clarity.

"I dreamed again." I whispered.

"I know."

"I'm sorry, I can't seem to stop dreaming of you like that. It isn't appropriate." I blushed, but squeezed my thighs together all the same against the wetness of my core.

"You can't help what your subconscious mind does."

"I felt you touching my face in my dream, and I think that added to its intensity."

"I'm sorry, I won't do that anymore if it is unpleasant for you." He offered.

"NO!" I blurted. "I- I mean, I like it when you touch me, I just meant that..." I couldn't form my thought into a coherent sentence.

"I think I worked my way into your entire dream. I didn't actually mean to. It's easier for me to tell you my hopes when you are sleeping."

"What are you talking about?"

"I saw myself looking at you as a child in your dream, and I spoke to the little girl I saw there, and promised her that she would be loved. Suddenly I appeared in your dream, and was telling you that very thing. I wanted to comfort that precious little girl, so I touched your face in hopes that she would feel the contact, and know that she was already loved, but then your dream changed, and it was you in the present. In your mind, you were underneath me, and writhing, and my hands were on your face. Your face is lovely flushed like that." His voice trailed off. I knew that my dreams had affected him, and I felt guilty for it. My sexually charged dreams were pressing the limits of our relationship before he was ready for it, and I felt guilty… but I was a greedy bitch, and while I knew that I should suggest that I not sleep in his arms anymore for a while, I couldn't do it. I craved his nearness.

"Don't call yourself that! You are neither greedy, nor a bitch."

"Actually, Edward, when you think about it, I really _am_ a bitch." I arched my brow comically at him. It took only a second for him to see the humor of the situation.

"Yeah, I guess you are." He chuckled. "But only in the most literal sense."

"So, let me propose this, then. When you begin to see me dreaming, you can tell me whatever you want to, but if my crazy, bitch–in-heat brain turns it into something other than platonic, I don't expect you to continue to stick around and deal with the discomfort it causes you. You can always leave the room for a bit, and come back when my dreaming has stopped, or at least turned into something less x-rated!"

"I'll promise you this, if I notice a dream becoming sexual in nature, I will move away from you, so that we are not touching at all. Until such time as we both feel that we are ready to progress that area of our relationship. Then all bets are off, because… your dreams have awakened a part of me that I never knew existed. Bella never caused the response from me that you have."

"I'm sorry." I apologized again, blushing like a school girl.

"No, I should be apologizing. It is actually my fault that the dream was so intense."

"Edward, touching my face and talking to me should hardly make you feel guilty. It's not your fault what my subconscious does with that small input."

"Yeah, but that's not the only thing I did." He looked away from me guiltily. I narrowed my eyes at him while trying to surmise what he was about to confess to.

"What _exactly_ did you do, Edward?" I pressed myself against him, trying to subtly check for evidence of "wood". Finding none, I allowed myself a quick look at his pants. I was surprised to see a large dark, wet spot on the front of his Chinos. My eyes flew to his, wide in surprise. I repeated my question with new fervor.

"WHAT. _EXACTLY _did you DO, Edward?"

"Well, you were pressing yourself against me, and I became so aroused. I had never felt heat like that against my… and I didn't know that it could feel so… and even with our clothes on, it just felt so…" he was rushing out his admission in embarrassed, broken sentences, and I could not help but giggle. "And you smelled so amazing… and you were moaning, and moving… and then _I _was moving… and then I was just… and then _you… and then…" _he hid his face against my neck. "And then you were cumming… and then I… and it was so… and ffffuck." My Edward _cursed!_ I laughed aloud, and snuggled into him.

"You act like you have never cum before." I giggled. He looked up, and stared at me blankly.

"Never?" my eyes were wide.

"Not since I was turned." He shrugged, "And since I don't have many clear memories from before then…"

"You mean, you have _never_ um.. you know, rubbed one out in the shower?"

"I have always thought of sex as a sacred act of love. And having never felt that strength of emotion until Bella, I didn't really struggle with it. And when I began to have fleeting issues with sexual feelings towards Bella, I was easily able to distract myself by hunting. When I would give myself over to the overwhelming sense of the hunt, the rest just fell away. There was never a need to… '_rub one out_' as you say."

"Well, when all of this mess that is my family situation is resolved, and the timing is right…" I looked at him through my lashes, giving him my full on 'I want you now' expression. "I will have to remedy this inequity. I will be more than willing to help you make up for all of this lost time." He stared at me, and swallowed hard.

"I'm sorry that I took advantage, Leah. I feel awful."

"Listen, Edward." I turned his head to face me. "We may not have been together for long, but we _are_ - _in_ - this together. I know that you didn't imprint, that was all me… but you need to know… No, you _have_ to know that I am yours. If it in my power to give, it is in your grasp to take. You didn't violate me, I am glad that we were able to share that. It is amazing to me to know that I gave you your first orgasm. You chose to allow yourself that pleasure with _ME_, and I feel _honored_, so don't you go feeling all bad!"

"But you were asleep, I didn't have your permission to do something like that! It was wrong, and selfish, and I am ashamed."

"You don't get it, do you?" I started laughing at him. "In my dream, you weren't dry humping me… there was some serious penetration going on. I heard what you were saying to me, and my response was sexual. You actually became a _part_ of the dream. If _that_ isn't giving you my permission, I have no idea what it is." Edward's eyes snapped open, and he looked at me with a smile.

"I hadn't thought of it that way. It _was_ a shared experience, wasn't it?"

"Well, I certainly woke up fulfilled." I sighed, hoping that he was done with his little episode of self-loathing with regards to his awakened sexuality. "Now, stop being a pessimist, it is really a buzz-kill!"

"In that case, I look forward to the correct timing!"

"Right now, though…" I kissed him on the cheek, and wriggled out of his arms. "I have to shower and change, and get some dinner ready before I report for patrol. And you… Mr. Messy Chinos, need to sneak out of here and clean yourself up too!" I giggled.

Edward got up, and crossed the room to give me a short, but very tender, and intimate kiss. I handed him his keys, and pulled his shirt out of his pants, winking at him.

"We don't really need anyone seeing the evidence now, do we?" He grinned mischievously at me, and placed another kiss against my temple, then walked out the door.

I showered and changed, and was heading out of my room just as Bella was approaching. It was comical to open the door, and find her there with her fist in the air, preparing to knock. We shared a brief laugh, and I asked her what I could do for her.

"I was just wondering if it would be alright with you if I looked in the fridge to see what I can throw together from the leftovers for dinner?" I linked arms with her, and started walking towards the stairs.

"I was headed that way myself. Wanna do it together?" Bella nodded and smiled, and we went to the kitchen to make dinner together as if we had been doing this all of our lives.

As we worked to put together a ham and cheese casserole with the leftover mac'n-cheese, (and copious amounts of other ingredients from last night's gathering) we talked about the calamitous events of the last sixteen or so hours.

"Have you heard anything from Jake?"

"He called, and said that he has Seth at his house with Billy. They are trying to help him calm down enough to phase back. I feel so badly for him."

"Well, what about you? How are you holding up?"

"I think I suffered the worst of it while listening to the full story last night. It is really hard to believe that I am part Quileute. I never would have thought it."

"Yeah, it makes your little joke about being part albino almost believable." I kidded her. She shook her head and snorted at me.

"Okay, so how about you? Are you okay through all of this mess?"

"I'm still trying to wrap my head around the whole.. my Mom and your Dad have been sleeping together forever thing. I can hardly bear the thought of the rest." I said with a shudder.

"Do you think that you and Seth will get blood-work done?"

"I don't know. I mean, I keep thinking that Mom is going to wake up and tell us that all of that other stuff was just the meds talking."

"It's kind of interesting though. I mean, we could be sisters. I always wanted a family." She looked down at her hands as if her cuticles were suddenly of great interest.

I looked at Bella then, really studying her face, and trying to find similar features to mine or Seth's. I decided that there was not much similarity to either of us in Bella, but if I was honest with myself, I could see the likeness in Charlie and Seth's jaw lines, and the shape of their mouths. I thought it would be interesting to see Charlie with his face thoroughly shaved. I was willing to bet that the similarities would be greatly enhanced. I didn't have any reservations about believing that Charlie was Seth's biological father. The timing was right, and Seth was so much lighter than myself, or Mom and the man I always thought of as my dad.

"The more I think about it, the more I really want to know the truth. I am so frustrated about the whole situation. I really want to hate Mom and Charlie, but after hearing the story of how Dad - er – Harry… whatever. Ugh, GOD! After hearing about how he basically coerced Mom into marrying him, knowing that she had given her heart, and… everything else to Charlie. I just… I don't know! I mean, I feel for their situation."

"I know. I can't believe that none of us ever saw the love between them."

"I think I did. I always remembered the way he danced with her during those weeks that Dad was gone. I kind of knew that Mom and Charlie loved each other. I just never knew that they had acted on it." I shrugged.

Charlie walked into the kitchen then, looking like death warmed over. He flopped into one of the chairs at the table, and groaned, rubbing at his eyes with the heels of his hands.

"Can I dish you out some ham'n cheese casserole?" Bella offered. "Leah and I just finished it up."

"Is there any coffee?" his voice sounded rough and gravelly.

"I was just about to brew some." I told him softly. I really did need to get some caffeine into my system before I went on patrol. I was really hoping for Seth to be home before I had to leave. I clenched my teeth in frustration at the timing of everything. I really did want to be here for him when he got home, especially knowing that Charlie would still be here. I didn't want there to be trouble between them.

"What are you thinking about Leah? You really look stressed." Bella said, searching my face intently.

"I just wish I could get out of my duties tonight, I really want to be here for the Squirt when he gets home." I referred to Seth by my favorite childhood nick name for him.

"Hey, I bet you could get Emmett or Jasper to take your place if you asked." Bella offered.

"I wouldn't have thought of that, but I bet you're right. I wonder if Sam would allow it."

"You can always call him and ask."

"Uh, yeah.. call Sam?" I laughed. "I'll be right back, I have to go outside for a few minutes to get better… _reception_." I said to Bella pointedly.

"We might as well just start talking freely in front of Charlie. He was at the bonfire last night, and he is going to figure out the validity of the stories soon enough." She hedged. Charlie looked up at hearing his name, his brows furrowed in confusion. I wasn't sure how much attention he had been really paying to the conversation after the whole coffee discussion was over, but he was listening very intently now.

"Speaking freely about what?" Charlie demanded.

"Dad, the stories last night - were you too drunk to really pay attention to them?"

"Nah, Bells. I listened, I wasn't really _drunk_, just a little bit buzzed."

"Riiight. And you would accept that explanation from someone behind the wheel, Chief?" Bella cornered him there.

"I wasn't driving, I was listening to the old mythologies of the tribe. I grew up on them, Bells! I know them inside and out!" he rolled his eyes.

"Then open your eyes, and pay attention to the people around you, Dad! Those aren't myths. They are present day facts. The sooner you come to grips with this, the better for all of us, because nearly everyone here in La Push knows the truth. Many of them _live_ the truth every day, including the Cullens." Charlie glared across the kitchen at his daughter.

"Don't talk to me like I am some imbecile, Isabella." Charlie boomed. "I know what I have been observing for the last year. I know who's who, and what's what. I don't need to say the words to know."

"What is it that you know, Dad?"

"Damn it, Isabella, you can't let anything go, can you? You just have to push until you get your way… You really want me to tell you the truth as I see it?"

"Yeah, I think I do, Dad. I was strong enough to handle it last night, and I have been living the reality of these other truths since shortly after I came to Forks. I think I can handle you telling me _your_ take on my realities."

"Fine, I know what the Cullens are.I _think_ I have a pretty good handle on what happened last year when you got hurt in Arizona. Fell down the stairs and got a sparkly cold scar on your wrist? I don't _think_ so, Bella. Then you come home with your arm all bandaged on the night of your birthday, and Edward suddenly can't _look_ at you without looking like he is going to throw up or something. Yeah, clumsy _my ass_. I knew when he left that it was his way of trying to keep you from that world. I'm not a fool. I just don't understand the part where he thought leaving you in the woods, and running away was a great idea. We all knew that you loved him. What did he think that you were going to do? Skip back to the empty house and sing show tunes? I heard you guys whispering every night. I couldn't catch him, I didn't hear him coming and going, but I damn well knew that he was in my baby girl's bed every night. At least _he_ had the decency not to have sex with you under my roof. I choose to trust what you told me about being a virgin when we had our tense little chat. I wonder, though… can you tell me the same now that you are _with_ Jake? Yeah, I noticed that, don't look so surprised. I'm a cop, Bella. It has been my _job_ to be observant for the last twenty-two years! You think I didn't figure out how Sam was able to find you, and carry you home to me while wearing nothing but cutoffs without suffering hypothermia? Shall I go on?"

~UUaAP~

Bella POV

Leah and I stood in shocked silence after Charlie's tirade. I was amazed that he had already pieced together the truth, even before I had. Some of his words were harsh, but I figure I asked for it. Literally. It amazed me as I stood there, absorbing all that he had told me that he hadn't tried to forbid me from seeing Edward from the beginning, he had seemed fine with the idea of me dating a Cullen once he realized I wasn't talking about Emmett. This was not the first time that I had been surprised by my father, but I think that it was the first time that I stood in absolute _awe_ of him.

"No, I think that about sums it up." I muttered.

"Don't think I failed to notice your lack of acknowledgement of my question, or the blush in your cheeks when I pegged you either. I just hope that you are being _wise._" His gave me a very pointed stare as he said the word "wise".

I tried my hardest not to act embarrassed. I really didn't want to end up having another "sex" talk with my dad right here and now, and it was really difficult to judge whether or not my face belied the truth of Jake's and my lack of "wisdom" or foresight when we had made love.

"Shit, Bella. I'm calling the clinic tomorrow. You're going on the pill, and Jake and I are going to have a heart to heart. I am not ready to be a grandfather yet. I don't even know how many _kids_ I actually have right now, I can't _think_ about grandkids."

I hung my head in shame. Dad had seen through me all along, why did I think that he wouldn't see through me right then? Dad started laughing then, a deep belly laugh that borderlined hysteria. His face turned red, and his breath became ragged as he laughed himself to tears. When the chuckles became quiet sobs, and I walked forward, wrapped my arms around his shoulders, and rested my cheek on the top of his head. Charlie had been through more since I had come to live with him than any father should have to deal with. I felt so guilty about all of the lying, and sneaking. I should have given him more credit.

"I'm sorry, Dad. I wish I had done so many things differently."

"Bella, don't start living with regret. Let it go, and move forward. Living with regret just shortens your life. You are a smart and sensitive young woman, and believe it or not, I trust you. I knew all along that the half truths and whole lies that you told me were meant to protect the family that you loved so much."

I sighed and hugged him tighter. My father knew me so well. I was really happy to know that. As hard as the last few hours had been, I was happy to know that I didn't have to hide anymore. None of us did. That fact alone made me feel like this paternity issue was a mere speed bump. Once we could move beyond the hurdle of pretense, the rest had to be easy.

Jake walked into the house then, with Seth close behind. Jake's eyes looked tired, and Seth's looked downright weary. Leah ran over to the door and squeezed our little brother into a bear hug. I wanted to follow suit, but I was afraid that it would make him uncomfortable, and I knew that he had had enough discomfort for one day. I opted instead to throw myself into Jake's arms. He hugged me tightly, then leaned down to capture my lips in a tender kiss.

"Have you two eaten yet?" I offered.

"No, but it sure does smell good in here. What did you make?" that's my Jake.

"A huge ham'n cheese casserole, help yourself." I grinned. Seth pushed out of Leah's arms, and followed him into the kitchen to eat.

"Leah, it's already six thirty. Did you want me to call Emmett and Jasper?"

"Yeah, that would be great. I'm gonna run out and discuss it with Sam real quick."

I made a quick call to Emmett, and asked if he would be willing to fill in for Leah. He jumped at the chance, and Jasper, over-hearing the conversation volunteered as well. I made the suggestion that they coordinate with Sam, and help the pack to expand the boundaries of the patrols. They agreed that it sounded like a reasonable plan.

After they had eaten their fill of the casserole they joined Leah, and Charlie and me in the living room. We sat in silence while Charlie searched for a game to watch on the television. I had grown tired of being in rooms filled with tension. It was grating on my nerves that at every turn, something seemed to fall apart. Someone I loved was constantly in turmoil. I wondered if life might someday become peaceful. Then I remembered that in five days, we were expecting a battle. I wanted to cry. I wanted to scream. I was so angry with the way things were that I really wanted to take to fight to _them_.

"Bella, what's wrong?" Charlie asked. I didn't want to tell him. I respected him enough to not lie to him, but I could not tell him what was bothering me until I spoke to the pack and the Cullens, and got their opinions on the merits of dragging Charlie any further into the madness of the _whole_ truth.

"Nothing I want to discuss right now. I'll be okay, really." I tried to assure him. Charlie looked at Jake, his expression an accusation.

"No! Dad, this has nothing to do with Jake. Really, I'll tell you all about it when I can. Right now, I am just exhausted. I need to go get some sleep." I stood up and put my hand on my father's shoulder, giving it a slight squeeze. "Jake, will you take me home, please?"

"Not so fast, son!" Charlie grabbed Jake's arm as he passed in front of him. "I _know_. And I need you to know that if you don't protect my daughter from here on out, accelerated healing will not save you. Comprendé?" Jake's eyes grew wide, and he looked at me in a panic. I decided to save him.

"Don't worry, Dad. We'll stop at the drug store and get a stash, I promise. Just don't threaten him. It was really my fault." I hated having to talk about sex with my father at all, even if it was thinly veiled for the benefit of others in the room.

"You'd better." He gave us a stern look. "And this doesn't mean that I approve, but you are not children, and I can't exactly tell you what to do. Just, please, don't make me harm you, boy!"

"I won't, Charlie. I love her, and I don't ever want to be the cause of her pain."

"I know. You've loved her since you were just fifteen. I'm just glad that she wised up, and let you in."

"Me too, Charlie. Me too. "

Jake took my hand, and led me out of the house, and opened the door of his Rabbit for me. I was surprised, this was a first, him holding the door for me. It was so chivalrous. So Edward. I shook my head at the thought, reminding myself that Edward's brand of chivalry always left me a quivering mess of hormones. Jake's more modern idea of romance has scratched that itch, and promised to alleviate future discomfort. I smiled at the humorous thoughts churning in my head as I sat in the Rabbit, and waited for him to close the door. Exhaustion brings out my stranger side.

As we left, I watched the Clearwater house get smaller behind us, and wondered what fresh sorrow tomorrow might bring, while hoping to be surprised by something good. My whole supernatural, fucked up family needed _something_ good.

~UUaAP~

As always….

Reviews are Wanted and Welcomed.

Please, PLEASE, review and show me some love!

(I read them all, and am unfailingly thrilled with them!)


	21. Chapter 21 Back in Black

_**An**_.. Okay, so a short chapter here, but filled with interesting goodies.  
>It took longer than it should have to write because I have been reading<br>several great stories lately that I have had a really hard time tearing  
>myself away from. I have a few to recommend…<p>

If you like dark, brooding stories, try:

_**I Want it Painted Black **__by __**SaritaDreaming**_

**Or**

_**Pocket Change**_ _by __**aWhiteBlankPage**_

And if you are into comedies, and need a really good belly laugh,  
>You can always try:<p>

_**My Dying Wish **__by_(This one is still a bit dark, but hilariously written)

**Or**

_**A Night with the Royal Staff **__by __**MsrK81**_

Anyhow.. enough with the plugging. I just thought  
>I'd share a few of the stories that I have fallen in love with<p>

hope you like the new developments here… What is it they say?  
>Aaaand the hits just keep oooon a comin'! LOL<p>

Please, tell me if you liked it, or hated it?  
>I really want to know…<p>

~UUaAP~

.

Chapter 21

_**Back in Black**_

Leah POV

As I phased to ask Sam about Emmett and Jasper covering my duty tonight, the first thing that I noticed was the tension and confusion of his mind. Even before words were exchanged, there was this sense of betrayal, and bitterness that overwhelmed me.

_Sam? What's wrong?_ Silence, more hostility.

_Sam, talk to me. What's going on?_

_You don't trust me? I'm not allowed to help with Seth? There was a time when you trusted me with everything. What changed?_

_I don't know what you're talking about, Sam! _

_You knew Seth was coming to me for advice, I am his _Alpha_. But apparently, that is not good enough for you? You have to ask Bella to get Jake to come assist Seth?_

_I asked, I mean... I didn't mean for you to… I was just worried about my baby brother! And I really didn't want everyone to know… but of course, they all do._ I bristled, angry about the fact that I was defending myself to Sam about this. I needed him to back the fuck off, this was _my_ family, and I would protect them how _I _saw fit.

I found him in a small clearing a few miles away.

_Oh, I see… it is your family? _YOURS?_ Really? So, now _you_ are Alpha?_ The tone that his voice took caused my legs to buckle. He was commanding me to submit. I was seething with intense fury as my will was taken from me, and I rolled onto my back, whining under the full weight of the Alpha command.

_You will remember who is in charge around here! We accepted the vampire family into our midst because of this imprint. They have proven that they will not harm humans, and I will defer to the wisdom of the council, but know this. Leah Clearwater! I am _Alpha_, and you will not place another above me when it comes to matters of the pack._

Still cowering in my utterly humiliated, submitted sprawl, tears began to well in my eyes. I had never seen this side of Sam. Sure, he had given Alpha commands before, but he had never taken away a person's will like this before. He had never crushed a member of the pack under his dominant will. I struggled to understand why he was doing this now.

_Why?_

_You will know your place. _

_I don't understand, Sam. I didn't mean to upset you! I was just looking out for…_

Suddenly the air was expelled from my lungs as Sam lunged onto me, placing all of his weight on my chest, his muzzle a mere inch away from mine, and his teeth bared. I began to get flashes and images from his mind. Images of seldom told stories that only he was privileged to hear, as Alpha. It seems that there has always been a female in every wolf pack, and the females never had a mate. In the past, they were always submissive to the male pack members. It was the big secret of the wolf pack, and shame of the tribe. It was the reason that my father had his heart attack when I phased.

The wolves had huge appetites for everything. Including voracious sexual appetites. In their wolf form, they would destroy a human. Apparently, there was always a female wolf in each pack, and it was always kept hidden, because the only true use for her had been to satisfy the sexual appetites of the _wolves._ If Seth had not been a part of this pack, it was clear from the pictures and thoughts in Sam's head that I would have been no exception.

I lay there, barely able to breathe, and completely unable to move. I had been in love with Sam once, and I had been angry at him countless times. I had felt jealousy, spite, resentment, embarrassment, pity and pride for him over the years. Until right now, I had _never_ felt fear. In this moment I was truly terrified.

_Please, Sam... don't do this!_ I begged._ It will destroy the pack. It will destroy the tribe! Edward will avenge me!_

Suddenly, Paul and Jared were there with us. Paul was leering, and pacing back and forth, and Jared was cowering to the side.

_We should take her now, Sam. She'd be so tight.. I always wanted me some of that!_

_Paul, you just imprinted! How can you do that to Rachel? _Jared whined, and withdrew further to the sidelines.

_You two shut it._ Sam ordered.

I wanted to defend myself. I growled from deep within my chest, and snarled, but it was to no avail. I was still being held in my submitted roll, and crushed under the enormous weight of my Alpha.

That's when I heard it. Edward's voice was in my head. He was using his link with me to talk directly to Sam.

_If you let her up now, and back away, there will be no bloodshed. If you do not, I will not be responsible for my actions._

_I am her Alpha, and she will do as I command!_

_And I am now a member of this council. I see your struggle, Sam. I know that you don't want to hurt Leah. Just because there were Alpha's in the past that allowed the mistreatment of the female members of the pack, does not mean that you have to follow their lead. You have been a strong leader, do not give in to the baser side of your wolf. You are better than that._

To my great relief, Edward entered the small clearing. He walked right past Jared, who was still cowering, and glared down at Paul as he pushed past him as well. Sam had taken his physical weight off of my chest, but had yet to release me from the weight of his Alpha dominance. Edward dropped to his knees, and ran a soothing hand over the top of my head with his eyes locked on mine. They were tender, yet fierce, and they were no longer the beautiful butterscotch that I had grown accustomed to. They were black as night, with no definition between iris and pupil. It amazed me that I could see the tenderness in their depths in spite of that fact. It amazed me all the more that I was able to move to a sitting position under his touch, even though I could feel the weight of Sam's command still pressing upon me.

"Mate trumps Alpha." Edward growled, turning this eyes to Sam, with the depth of his disgust and anger crackling in every word. "I will be discussing this with the council. I believe that it is time for changes to be made."

Edward took off his coat, and laid it over my shoulders, making sure to never break contact with me.

"You can phase back now, Leah. Sam cannot command you in your human form."

I leaned into him as I phased. He clutched me tightly to his chest as he scooped me up and began to walk away from the clearing., but he stopped at the edge. Without looking back, he addressed Sam one last time.

"My brothers will be assisting with Leah's duties tonight. You will treat them with respect. Jared, I hold you no ill will. I know you wanted no part of this." And with that, he sped away with me, running as fast as he was capable, and putting distance between us and Sam as quickly as he could possibly do.

When he came to a stop, I was expecting to find us at my house, but was surprised to find that he had taken me to Billy's house. He stood out front, and called out in a voice that would be considered conversational to human ears, but not to that of either vampires or werewolves.

"Jacob Black. We have to talk, now."

"I'll be out in a second. Let me get dressed."

Edward rolled his eyes, but waited patiently for the two or three minutes that it took for Jacob to show himself at the door. When he came outside, however Jacob's expression changed from irritated to concerned rather quickly. He took in Edward's expression, and the fact that I was clinging tightly to him, wearing nothing but Edward's jacket.

"What happened?"

"I need to talk to you and your father right now. It is time for you to take your rightful place, Jacob."

Jake drew in a deep breath, and closed his eyes. "What did he do?"

"Did you know of the other female wolves?" Edward's voice was fueled with resentment.

"Others?" Jacob sounded like he had been sucker punched. "What others?" Bella walked through the door then, and to Jacob's side. She looked exhausted.

"What's going on?" her concern was evident in her voice and eyes.

"Baby, take Leah inside, please... and tell Billy that I need him to come out here now."

Edward settled me on my feet, and wrapped me up in his arms for a moment, pressing his lips to the top of my head. We drank each other's scents in for one brief moment, and he turned my face towards his to place a tender kiss on my lips.

"Go with Bella. We won't be long, but I need to discuss this with Billy and Jacob." I nodded my head, still somewhat in shock over the last hour's developments.

Bella placed an arm around my shoulders and lead me into the house. I walked into the bathroom.

"Billy, Jake and Edward need you outside, please. Something appears to be very wrong." Bella told him as she headed to Rachel's room to find something for me to wear.

I could hear the muffled sound of Edward and Jacob talking in whispers while waiting for Billy. I took my time dressing in the sweat pants and tee-shirt that Bella had snagged from Rachel. I wanted to listen to what was being said, but it was difficult. They had obviously moved away from the house, and were talking in hushed tones. I could not make out heir words, but the intensity of the conversation was clear.

"He did _what?"_ Jacob growled loudly. The conversation continued quietly for a few moments before he exploded again. "Why was this kept from me? I thought there was no precedent for a female wolf!" More hushed and hurried words. I was growing tense, as things became too quiet for a moment. Suddenly, I heard a sharp yelp, and a loud, booming voice that I didn't recognize. I ran out of the bathroom, and met Bella at the door. We rushed out together, hand in hand.

The scene before us was shocking, to say the least. Jacob, still in his human form, was standing over Sam, who was writhing on his back, whining.

"You _will_ stand down, Sam Uley! You will not order another member of the pack, or lead them in any way. You are stripped of your authority. As Ephriam Black's great grandson, and rightful heir, I assume all responsibility for the pack from here on out. You will follow orders, and do as I tell you, or you will leave." The depth and timbre of Jacob's voice was something I had never heard before.

In all the times that Sam had spoken to the pack in his authoritative, human voice, it had sounded more like a kid imitating their father's voice. His was an assumed authority. The pack had always known this, but hearing the full aspect of the Alpha in Jake's voice was downright awe-inspiring. I glanced at Bella, and the pride and love in eyes was almost palpable.

"You will phase back, and go home. You will not return to wolf form again unless the whole pack and council are in agreement with your return. Do you understand?"

Sam phased, and kneeled, his head hanging in shame. Tears were running down his face.

"I am so sorry, Leah. I let my pride and arrogance get the better of me, and I was cruel. I know you can never forgive me, but I hope that you can forgive Jared and Paul, they are not at fault." His eyes locked on mine across the expanse of the yard.

"There is nothing for forgive Jared for. He did nothing wrong. Paul wanted to jump in with both feet, and you held me against my will. I may someday forgive you, but this is NOT that day. I loved you once, but you are dead to me now." my voice was flat, and devoid of all emotion.

Edward was at my side in an instant, his arms wrapped around me, pulling me tightly to his chest. "You will never be subjected to such brutality again, I swear it." He breathed into my ear. I knew that he could see me replaying the horror of the day, and the memory of the brutal rape that I had suffered even surfaced for a moment. I tried so hard to force them out, I hated what the memory did to me, and I could see what it was doing to him. His eyes were tortured, and turning black again.

"Take me home, please!" I begged him, I was frightened that he would attack Sam now, and take his fury over my memories out on him. His fierce protectiveness, and his passionate hold on me in that moment told me what his words had not. Not directly anyhow. He had spoken of loving me in the future tense in my dreams, and he had told me that his feelings were deepening for me, but what I saw in his eyes right now told me all I ever needed to hear from him. He felt as deeply about me as I did about him. My heart soared with this revelation.

~UUaAP~

Reviews are welcome and wanted.

Reviews show your love.


	22. Chapter 22 Mine

**AN:**___**Warning**__**… this chapter is a HUGE gulp of**_

_**Lemon juice! I hope you like it tarty! ;)**_

Back to a longer chapter.

Disclaimer: I do not own twilight or its characters,

I just enjoy playing around with thm.

Chapter 22

_**Mine**_

Leah POV

"Edward, I love you." I leaned in and kissed him deeply. He opened to me, allowing me entrance to his mouth, and our tongues danced and pressed against each other, igniting a passion such as I had never known. I forgot about everything else around me as I surrendered to the depth of my love, and the force of the imprint. I could not fight the pull anymore. I wanted to give myself to him right then. I needed to bond to him. I needed to know that I was not in this alone, that I was not misreading his intentions.

"I love you, Leah. More than I knew was possible. I'll never let you go." His breath was ragged, and his voice was husky. "Come with me, I have someplace I want to show you."

Edward lead me down the road, away from Sam, and the horror of my afternoon to the place he had left his car. He opened the door for me, and kissed me before closing it. He was in his seat in the blink of an eye, and driving us towards the one-ten. He parked the car by the trail head at the end of the old highway, and shut off the engine. We sat in silence for a time, gazing into each other's eyes. I could tell that he was not trying to read my mind, he seemed to be content to look into my eyes. The connection was there, but the silence was comfortable. There was a quiet hum between us, a tangible magnetism that caused us to lean towards each other. No words were spoken, but volumes were understood as we succumbed to the force drawing us together.

His mouth was forceful and hungry as he devoured my lips. I moaned into his mouth as he tightened his hold on me, I opened my eyes for a moment, and found that he was staring at me. I wondered if he hadn't willed me to open my eyes. Kissing him like that was beyond passion. It was a fierce animal craving. I could feel my body turning into a puddle on his car seat. Every fiber of my being sang with the fire that was coursing through my veins. I had to pull away from the kiss to catch my breath.

"Edward, we need to get some fresh air. I have to clear my head." I wanted to respect his personal beliefs. I wanted to have the type of relationship that he had been trying to build between us. I wanted a foundation of trust and friendship, not just lust and mutual desire. It wasn't that I was a prude, far from it… I just had so much respect for the man in my arms that I wanted to do everything in its proper order. I didn't want to cross any lines that would weaken the foundation of our relationship.

"Yeah, I brought you here for a reason…" he shook his head, like he was trying to remember what the reason was. I giggled a little bit at the sight. We got out of the car, and he took my hand. "I know you are the fastest wolf, but how fast are you in human form?"

"I am not sure. I am sure you are faster!" I laughed.

"You set the pace, and I'll tell point you in the right direction." And we headed into the forest as fast as my legs would carry me. I knew that I was a lot faster than the average human, but as this was the first time I had trekked through the woods any real distance as a human since I began phasing, I had nothing to compare it to. Edward stayed quietly beside me, pointing the way, straightening my heading as we went along. It seemed we had traveled a good distance, and I was about to start asking questions, when I noticed a brightening ahead, signifying a break in the trees. I looked over at Edward to find him watching my face with a small smile. As I entered the clearing, I gasped. It was perfect. Wildflowers sprinkled this perfectly round little meadow. The sun was already in its westward descent, but the clouds were thin, and the meadow glowed with its golden warmth. I ran into the middle of the opening, and threw myself into the grass, inhaling the beauty of the wildflowers, and basking in the momentary warmth of the late spring evening.

As Edward approached, he began to shed his shirt, allowing the beauty of the rainbow to cascade in glittering array from his beautiful marble chest. My breath caught in my throat, and I blinked in surprise. I had joked with the pack about the "sparkly bloodsuckers" so many times, but I had never seen such beauty until now. I couldn't take my eyes off of him.

He stopped a few yards away from me, staring into my eyes as he reached down, and removed his shoes and socks. I tried really hard to not concentrate on the fact that he was taking his clothes off. When he started to unbuckle his belt, I freaked out.

"What the fuck, Edward?" I panted, squeezing my eyes shut, shaking my vehemently. "Stop taking your clothes off. What are you thinking?"

When I opened my eyes, he was kneeling in front of me, completely naked. His beauty was staggering. I was flustered beyond words as my eyes roamed his form. His wide shoulders, and taut muscles were tantalizing, and the way his body narrowed down to his hips, with his muscular thighs, and glorious abs, I felt a sudden surge of warmth and wetness building between my legs. I tried and failed to avoid looking at the massive protrusion that was his manhood. I kept trying to formulate words, and kept coming up empty.

He captured my lips, devouring me in another desire filled, passionate embrace. He pressed himself fully against me, his erection digging into my hip. My mind was reeling; my body was on fire. I gasped for air, desperate to break away and clear my head. I didn't want to act rashly. We had just agreed to wait to pursue physical contact, hadn't we? Had we? I could hardly think.

"You're over-thinking this. I want you, Leah. I need you." He growled against my skin, as he licked and sucked at my collar bone and neck.

"But you said you wanted to wait..." he silenced my mouth with a searing kiss, filling my mind with pictures of his hands on my body. It was the first time I had _seen_ into his mind that way, and it was erotic, and intimate. I pressed against his chest with my right hand, as I tangled my left hand into his bronze locks. I was pulling him closer while pushing him away. It was befitting my mindset. I didn't want to stop, but I felt like we needed to wait. I was quickly falling apart in his embrace.

I staggered to my feet, trying to break free of the torrent of emotions and physical longing that were threatening to push us past the edge of reason. He wrapped his arms around my waist, and buried his face into my stomach, unwilling to let me go.

"Edward. I love you, and I won't let you go against your morals and beliefs. I want you, but I want you to be true to yourself." I ran my fingers through his hair, and hugged his neck tightly against me. He pulled me down until I was kneeling with him once again, and he placed a hand on either side of my face, effectively locking me in his gaze. His eyes spoke volumes of desperate desire and affection. My heart raced as I waited for him to speak to me. I was not anticipating how undone I could become at his words.

"Leah, these last few days have been a revelation to me. I thought I had figured out what love was. I thought that just because I couldn't stand the idea of life without Bella that she was the _one_. With you, I have learned that love is so much more. I could _never_ leave you like I left her. The thought of being away from you for more than a few moments is agony. I need you like I need blood for strength. I know with you desires that I only imagined with Bella. It was easy to wait with her, because it didn't consume me." His lips touched mine again softly, tenderly. "I ache for you, Leah. I don't need a huge ceremony. The fact is, I plan to marry you, I honestly want that, but I am not going to wait another moment to claim you as my mate. I want to be tied to you in every way. I want this forever." His eyes were frantic, searching mine for any hesitancy. "Let me make love to you. Let me claim you as your true mate, I am begging you."

I melted into him, crashing my mouth against his in a hungry kiss. My arms extended over my head as he lifted the shirt off of me, and ran his hands down my sides, leaving a trail of fire and ice in their wake. I laid back, pushing at the waistband of my borrowed sweatpants, and wriggling to get free of them. Edward reached down to pull them the rest of the way off of me.

Now facing each other completely naked, we froze. I was staring at the naked form of the man I loved, drinking in the sight of him, feeling utterly desired, and completely wanton under his lust filled gaze. He stared at me like would devour me, his obsidian eyes raking a smoldering path slowly down my torso. I watched his fiercely horngry (yeah, I said it) eyes, and I could almost feel them scorching my skin as they drank in every inch of my copper skin.

My breathing became ragged, and shallow as I lay there, basking in this moment-in-time. I could feel the wolf stir in me. A slow chant began to seep into my brain. At first, I thought it was Edward, but after the first few rounds, I saw a shift in Edward's eyes. They blazed with a new excitement and intensity as his mind registered the claim my wolf was staking. It took another moment for me to realize that I had said it aloud, and that the words were bubbling out of me with nearly every breath…

"You're all mine. All MINE. Take me."

A growl erupted from deep within Edward's chest. It was feral, and territorial. I felt a sudden surge of heat between my legs as I heard it. He had yet to touch me, but I knew with every fiber of my being that he could claim me right now, he could ram into my depths, and I would be ready to receive him. I had had enough with the staring, enough with the space between us. I sat up and lunged at him in one fluid movement, effectively toppling him and pinning his shoulders to the earth as I straddled his waste.

"Mine." I said, leaning down, and attacking his mouth with a savage kiss, my lips and teeth staking claim to his. He growled again, grabbing the back of my head, and mashed his mouth back against mine, his tongue fought for dominance.

"Mine." he said as the kiss broke off.

"Mine." I said as I roamed my hands and eyes down his chest and torso, trailing open mouthed kisses all over his throat and shoulders. He flipped us over, placing himself in the position of dominance.

"Mine." He snarled as he touched my bare breasts. We watched his hands as they kneaded and fondled me. His hands felt like ice, but they left a trail of heat in their wake. My nipples, which had long since responded to my aroused state, now became rigid, and almost pointed as they succumbed to his ministrations. I gasped, and almost purred as he placed his mouth over my right breast, sucking my nipple and areola deeply into his mouth. After a moment he switched to the left. I felt a shiver of excitement run through me, even as another strong sense of calefaction coursed between my legs.

I flipped us back over, and straddled his thighs, staring flagrantly at his erect penis. His length was impressive. I grasped the base of his shaft, and was amazed that my fingers just barely met around his girth. My eyes widened, and a smile broke out over my lips as I leaned down to lick the bead of pre-cum from his tip.

"Mine." I whispered, before taking him fully into my mouth. The taste of him was amazing. He was salty-sweet perfection, blended with musk and spice. I moaned, and gently drug my teeth against the smooth marble of his shaft. His hips bucked, and his hand tangled in my hair as he pushed up onto an elbow so that he could watch. The groan that escaped his throat was like the deep rumbling of a wild animal. I stared into his eyes as I kissed, licked and sucked on him, taking him in as deep as I could. I relaxed my throat muscles, and swallowed his length as I grazed my fingernails gently over his thighs and pubic bone.

Edward hissed, and rolled his hips as I worked over him with my mouth. His breath was becoming shallow and rapid. He brushed my hair away from my face, and gently ran his thumb over my cheek.

"Shit, Leah. That feels so damn good." His voice was thick, his tone a deep baritone in his aroused state. I hummed in satisfaction as I swallowed his length once again.

"Fuck, that is amazing." He grunted. His breath was now a full on pant, and I knew that he was nearing his orgasm. I sucked still harder, rolling my tongue around the head, and grasping the base in my hand.

"Cum for me, baby, I want to taste you." I begged him, stroking his shaft. I watched a glistening bead of pre-cum form at his tip, and hungrily licked it off, and took him back into my mouth, moaning at the delectable taste of him on my tongue. I had never enjoyed the taste of Sam's cum, and vehemently refused to allow him to release in my mouth. I could not wait to taste Edward's orgasm.

Edward threw his head back, and moaned loudly as I felt the sudden swell of his already enormous manhood. I began to squeeze tightly with my hand over his shaft, pumping him fiercely, and I stilled my mouth other than for a long, hard suction as he began to twitch, and spurt into my mouth. His release was powerful, reaching the back of my throat, and filling my mouth almost faster than I could swallow, still I sucked on him, drinking him in, and draining him of every last drop.

He dropped his head and back onto the ground, breathing heavily. I kissed my way back up to his neck, sucking the sensitive spot under his ear. He lay there motionless for only a moment as he caught his breath. Then he flipped me over, pinning me to the ground. He placed open mouthed kisses on my throat. He sucked gently on the pulse point of my neck before licking his way to my clavicle. He sucked at the dip in the center, introducing me to an erogenous zone that I had yet to discover.

He kissed and sucked and licked his way down my body, pausing momentarily to worship at my breasts before continuing ever downward. He took his time in an agonizingly gentle, and thorough manner. No spot of my torso went un-kissed, untouched, or unnoticed. He placed a hand against my hip as he shimmied his way between my legs, his face hovering over my center. He closed his eyes, and breathed in deeply through his nose.

"You smell so good, Leah." He leaned in, placing his nose against my mound, breathing heavily. The flow of energy between us was distinctly tangible. He drew his head back, and stared as he gently opened my folds with his hand. His eyes became hooded and looked dangerous as he licked his lips once.

"Mine." He growled fiercely as he licked me with the flat of his tongue from my opening to my clit. He closed his eyes, and rolled his tongue in his mouth as one might do when savoring the flavor of a fine wine. "All _mine_."

He attacked me with his mouth, licking and sucking at my clit. I whimpered and shuddered under the touch of his amazing tongue. I reached down, and began to run my fingers through his downy tresses. Sometimes tangling my fingers into the thickness of his wavy locks, when a surge of pleasure and lust overwhelmed me, other times lazily tracing circles into his scalp, and just enjoying the soft feel of his hair between my fingers. My body was singing and alive with sensuality under his attention.

I moaned loudly, and pulled at his hair as he slid two fingers inside of me. Edward hummed against my skin as I pulled him closer, grinding my hips into his mouth and hand. I could feel the tightening in my stomach and between my legs as I spiraled towards release.

Edward noticed the changes in my breathing, and knew from my thoughts that I was near the edge. He was able to pull from my mind everything that I wanted and needed him to do to bring me pleasure. He clamped onto my clit, and began to suck at it while curling his fingers inside of me just slightly. As the pressure built up I began to whimper, and pant with every breath.

My orgasm exploded forcefully, flashing white light blinded me as I clenched my eyes tightly shut and screamed Edwards name. Edward moved up to nuzzle my neck softly. I was still twitching and shuddering, recovering from the assault of ecstasy on my body when I heard the question.

_Whose are you?_ Edward's eyes held mine as his question seared itself into my brain.

"I'm yours, Edward. All yours." I answered him aloud, wanting to hold nothing back. I reached down between us, and grasped him firmly, guiding his head through my folds, and covering him in my wetness as aligned him at my entrance. "Take me. You're _mine_."

Edward entered me slowly, with our eyes locked and his forehead resting against mine. He was so large that it felt like the first time all over again. There was pleasure in the small amount of pain. He paused about half way in, and tried to steady himself as he sensed the pain in my thoughts, but I refused to allow him to stop. I drew my right leg up, and hitched it over his hip, effectively arching my back and thrusting my own hips upward to meet him, drawing him more deeply inside of me. I could feel him reaching places inside of me yet untouched, both physically and emotionally.

"Mine." He asserted again. He began a slow and steady movement, withdrawing almost completely before sliding in, and grinding slightly into my depths with each thrust. It felt so right, I felt so complete lying underneath him, being filled by him. As the coil began to tighten inside me, his thrusts became harsher, and faster. I gripped at his shoulders, raking my nails over his skin, and squeezing the taught muscles that moved underneath my fingers.

Our love making was unbridled and feral, yet gentle and loving. We staked our claim over each other repeatedly, chanting "Mine." with almost every thrust. As I grew near to my release again, I began to have the overwhelming urge to bite him. Biting had always seemed wrong to me before, degrading. I couldn't understand this primal need before the wolf. There was a glint in Edwards eye as he thrust deeper and faster inside of me.

_It's called marking. You're feeling my need to mark you. Vampires always mark their mates their first time. Always._

_So do wolves._ Always.

I arched up towards him, and pulled against his shoulders as I pressed my lips against the spot above the collar bone, between the base of the neck and shoulder where it dips. I licked and sucked at his skin. I felt a shimmer of heat as my teeth hardened and grew sharper. I clung to Edward tightly and closed my eyes as I sank my teeth into that singular spot. The place that would mark him as my mate. _**Mine.**_

I was amazed at how pliable his skin felt between my teeth. I could taste the sweet tang of his venom as if filled the mark, healing it almost instantaneously. I wondered if the mark would remain.

_I don't know, _he answered my thoughts,_ The only thing I have ever known to scar a vampire is the venom of another._

I continued to lick and suck the spot, biting him over and over in the same place as his venom healed it again and again. Each time my teeth sank into him, he groaned in pleasure, bringing me closer to my release. My heart rate began to accelerate as the coil inside of me threatened to release.

"Cum for me, Leah." Edward growled into my ear. That was all it took. I sank my teeth into him one more time as I screamed in pleasure.

Edward began to thrust inside me impossibly fast. It almost felt like a vibration. It was so intense that I found myself in the throws of another orgasm before the clenching had abated from the last. I threw my head back as expletives left my mouth.

"Fuck, Edward. Oh, my god, you are amazing!"

Edward's lips sought my collar bone, he sucked and licked the skin there, groaning against my skin. As he reached his climax, he bit down, breaking my skin. His eyes rolled back in his head for a moment, and I could sense his panic as my blood began to fill his mouth. I felt a strange burning, like someone had held a torch to my skin, and I instantly screamed out in pain. Edward began sucking at the wound he had created, and a part of me panicked that he had been driven over the edge in his bloodlust.

_No, it's okay, baby. I am in control._ He assured me as he continued to suck at the bite.

The searing heat that had hurt so badly when he first broke my skin began to abate, then ceased altogether, leaving behind only the faint pain of a paper cut. Edward pulled his face back, and looked at the crescent shaped mark that he had left. He traced around it with his fingers.

"I hope I didn't hurt you too badly." His eyes looked contrite.

I shook my head, and placed a hand on the side of his face, pulling towards me to claim his lips in a tender kiss.

"It burned for a moment, but it stopped almost as soon as you started to suck the venom back out."

"I am worried. Carlisle warned me that we can't know how venom will affect your system. I tried to fight the urge to bite you, but it was too strong. I am so sorry, Leah!"

I laughed and wrapped my arms around his neck. "I'm fine." I assured him. "With my accelerated healing, I will be right as rain any second." I said confidently. Edward's eyes began to fill with dread as he stared at my shoulder. There was pain in his expression.

I glanced at my shoulder, wondering what his problem was, and I froze. By now, the small incision that his teeth had made should have healed over. What I saw was an angry red circle that was still oozing blood, and quickly becoming inflamed. We locked eyes, and I nodded as he mentally urged me to get dressed.

I threw on the borrowed clothing, and grabbed my shoes. Edward was already dressed beside me. It was a disappointing aftermath to the beauty that had been shared between us just moments before. He swung me up onto his back, and took off running towards his car with blinding speed. He kept asking me every few seconds how I felt, and was I okay? I sighed heavily, and assured him that other than for a little bit of discomfort, I was fine.

When we got to his car, he swung me off of his back quickly, and deftly placed me into the car. We sped away towards his house. We ran to find Carlisle, and hopefully some answers.

As Awlays:

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	23. Chapter 23 Feel the Burn

**AN...** I am sooo sorry for the long delay in getting this one out! I struggled  
>with it so much, I literally re-wrote this chapter at least a dozen times. And<br>now, thanks to my AMAZING pre-reader, Prettyflour (ILY), it is finished!  
>I hope that you all enjoy. I know that I left you all on a little bit of a cliffie,<br>but I hope that this chapter makes up for it.  
>I won't promise that there will never be another delay in postings, but I<br>will promise to _try **very** hard_ to not allow more than a week in between.

A big thank you to all who have reviewed this story, it means so much to  
>me! I read every review, and have responded to alot of them. I will try to<br>be better about responding to all. Thank you also to everyone who has  
>added this to their alerts. I love my lurkers too! I welcome all of you, and<br>hope that you will send some love my way, and tell me what you think so  
>far, and feel free to ask any questions!<p>

So, without further preamble, and no more ado, I give you...

Chapter 23

_**Feel the Burn**_

~UUaAP~

**Leah POV**

By the time we reached Edward's house, I was feeling strange all over. I was breathing too fast, and it felt shallow, like I could not draw enough air into my lungs. I felt clammy, and feverish. I was listless, barely able to hold my head up. Edward cradled me softly and ran into the house in a blinding speed, depositing me on a metal table in Carlisle's office. Alice was at my side quickly, her eyes full of concern.

"Carlisle will be here any moment." Alice assured us.

"How is my mother doing, is it safe for him to leave there?" I managed to wheeze.

"Leah, love. Your mother will be fine. Right now you are the first priority. Your mother is resting, but you are the one whose life is in danger." His eyes were blazing with intensity. He looked like he was in physical pain.

I could barely keep my eyes open any more, I felt like I was being sucked under water. Breathing was becoming difficult, and my tongue began to feel thick in my mouth. I barely registered that someone had put an oxygen mask over my face. The blackness surrounded and engulfed me.

Everything was dark, but I could hear and think all too clearly. My body was unresponsive, but I could feel everything. I felt Edward's hands as they gently cradled me. I heard his tearless sobs as he begged me to stay with him. I listened as Carlisle's car came up the drive, and scattered gravel as he skidded to a stop, obviously traveling at an outrageous speed. The door slammed open as Carlisle entered the house, running at incredible speeds and shouting questions as he practically flew to my side.

"Edward, you need to let her go, I cannot examine her properly with you holding onto her." Carlisle demanded. I felt Edward lower me back onto the table. Carlisle began to check me over, thoroughly, checking my vitals. Hands grasped my head at the top, and under my jaw, angling my chin towards the ceiling, and prying my mouth open. I heard plastic crinkle and tear as I heard the sound of something being spritzed in front of my face, followed by a bitter taste and numbing sensation coating my mouth and throat. I felt pressure as something large was forced past my lips and down my throat. For a few seconds, it was impossible to draw any breath, and I was filled with panic. My brain kicked into gear, trying to understand what was happening to me. I thought of the medical dramas that I had watched on television over the years, and realized that Carlisle was intubating me. By the time I realized what he was doing, I could feel air being forced into my lungs. It was a relief.

I felt something cold and hard moving against my skin, and heard metal rubbing against metal in sharp ringing clips. Someone was using scissors against my breastbone? I felt the material of the tee shirt being tugged open, and cold hard hands running along my collar bone.

"Damnit, son! You marked her? Didn't you listen to me, _at all_? I need to know everything. Every detail, and don't you let your puritanical principles get in the way. Any detail could hold an important key."

"Yes, Carlisle, you're right. I got caught up in the heat of the moment, and cast my principles aside. I fucked up. I fucked _her_. I was so careless. How could I be so wreckless?" Edward's voice was so broken.

"Son, we can deal with _your_ brokenness and self-loathing later, I need you to focus _right the_ _fuck_ _now_ on helping to help Leah. I need details. Did you use protection?"

"No."

"Shit. Okay, so venom is already absorbing into her system vaginally. Damn it. What else? What other exposure?"

"She swallowed my... when she… " Edward's voice faltered again. "And the bite."

"Was there _any_ other exposure to your venom?"

"She tried to mark me as well. She bit me repeatedly."

"Fucking _hell_, Edward! Why didn't you just set up an IV? I have no frame of reference for this! I am going to have to call Billy Black, and Old Quil. And you had better hope to God that they don't consider this a breach of treaty, or relations. "

I could feel the tension crackling in the atmosphere. Carlisle sounded irate, and Edward sounded like a man in mourning. I was desperate to reach out and break it. I was conscious, but still unable to move. It worried me that Edward didn't seem to be able to hear my mind. I tried to reach out to him purposefully.

_Edward! Baby, Hear. Me. Listen to me. Please!_

I felt his grip tighten on my hand.

"What is it Edward?"

"I heard her. She's conscious!" Edward's voice was bathed in relief. "Leah, baby! What do you feel? What's going on? Can you hear us?"

_Yes, Edward. I hear you. I hear and feel everything, but my body won't respond to me. I'm frightened, and I'm starting to feel cold._

"She says she can hear and feel, but not move. And she's cold." I felt Edward's lips against my forehead and the back of my hand that he was holding. "I'm so sorry for putting you through this. I'm so fucking sorry! We will figure this out, I promise!"

_Don't start going all Emo on me. I wanted it too. We are in this __**together**__, remember? _

"Yes, together… we'll get through this together."

"Leah, it's Carlisle. Can you hear me?"

_Yes, I know who you are. I'm physically incapacitated, not a mental cripple._

"She knows it's you." Edward translated.

_Yeah, edit for me Vampire Boy. That was funny and you know it. Puritanical indeed. Get over this guilty bull shit Edward. It isn't helping anyone. We __**both**__ screwed up. We move forward, got it?_

"But baby, I am so scared. What if our screw up ends you? You have to fight, Leah. I need you to fight, damnit!"

_I _am_ fighting, Edward. I have _no_ intention of dying. Now, I have some questions for Carlisle. Ready to translate? _

"Yes, of course. Carlisle? Leah wants me to speak for her, she has some questions."

"As do I."

_Ask him why he is concerned about __**me**__ biting __**you**__? I mean, we tear vampires apart with our teeth. It's what we do._

"She wants to know why you are concerned about her biting me. Werewolves tear vampires apart with their teeth all of the time."

"That is true, Leah. My concern is that when you do, you are in wolf form. There may be a difference in how the wolf metabolizes the venom, and how your human self metabolizes it. Tell me, are there stories in your histories about what happens to wolves bitten by vampires?"

_We only know of two. Both died of suffocation, or at least that is how it appeared. If I weren't intubated right now, I would be dead, wouldn't I?_

"There are two that they know of, and both died from what appeared to be suffocation."

_You didn't ask or answer my question, Edward._

Edward sighed heavily, and touched my face. "She wants to know if she would have died if you had not intubated her when you did."

"Well, her pulse oxygen levels were down to eighty-two. We tend to freak out when they dip below ninety-seven, so yeah. It wasn't good. Right now you are just at ninety-seven. I am going to turn up the oxygen saturation right now."

_So, why would venom cause us to suffocate?_

"She wants to know why venom causes suffocation for them."

"Well, judging by the reaction I saw in your throat, and the swelling of your tongue, I am willing to bet that this is anaphylaxis. I am going to administer epinephrine, and see if the swelling goes down." I heard a flurry of activity in the room.

"Edward, I am going to inject the dose directly into the spinal fluid. It speeds into the system for severe cases. Help to hold her head in alignment. Alice, I need you to monitor her oxygen saturation levels, and help me to turn her to her side. Esme, help hold her steady while I prepare the site, and give her injection."

Suddenly I was being braced by several pair of hard hands and turned onto my side. It felt like I was being held in a large cold vice. I felt it when my spine was rubbed down with liquid. It didn't smell like alcohol, so assumed it was betadine, or something like it.

"Leah, the first pinch you feel will be an anaesthetic. After that sets for a moment, and numbs the injection site, there'll be another shot. I won't lie to you, sweetie. The main injection will hurt, because the needle has to be pushed between the bones, and I cannot numb them, and the force of the medicine being injected into your spinal fluid builds pressure in your body. It can burn going in, and possibly cause a severe headache."

_I understand. Let's just do this and get it over with._

"She understands, and just wants to get it done."

"Okay, little pinch."

He was right, it was a little pinch - not much worse than getting bitten by a mosquito. While we waited for the anaesthetic to take effect, Edward pressed his lips to my forehead, and whispered sweet assurances to me.

"This will be over soon, baby. We have a dinner to get to."

"Okay, Leah? Big pinch this time." Carlisle warned me. I felt an intense pressure in the small of my back, followed by a stabbing heat. There wasn't much pain, but it was uncomfortable. "And now I am going to administer the dose. This will be the most painful part." He was right again. The pain and heat that shot through my spine would have been debilitating had I not already been incapacitated.

_Holy Shit! Motherfucking cocksucker! Fuuuck! Sonofabitchthatfuckinghurts._

"Carlisle, how long does the burn of the medicine last in the spine?" Edward pleaded.

"It varies from person to person. Sometimes it lasts just moments, but sometimes several minutes. I'm so sorry, Leah."

_It burns so bad, Edward. It feels like my spine is on fire. I can't handle it. I can't…_

In that moment, my mind seemed to freeze. I could process everything around me, but I couldn't think coherent thoughts. I felt fire licking at my spine, and spreading slowly throughout my system. Pain was all I could feel. It enveloped me, swallowed me whole. I could feel the medication as it entered my blood stream, like lava coursing through my veins. The lava made it to my heart after what seemed like an eternity. When it hit my heart, it seemed to splinter, fragmenting into millions of tiny needles, each containing the heat of a thousand suns, and prickling throughout every fiber, each and every cell of my being.

"Carlisle, I still can't hear her! The last thing she told me was that her spine felt like it was on fire. Is she changing? What the hell is happening to her?"

"Son, I am not sure. I can only hypothesize! This set of circumstances has never occurred before. "

"Alice, what are her O2 levels doing?" Edward demanded.

"They are up to ninety-nine, and holding steady."

"Carlisle, could the epinephrine be reacting badly with the venom?"

"Again, son… I DON'T KNOW! Give it another minute, if there is no response, I will start her on corticosteroids. They are also used in cases of severe allergic reactions."

"Carlisle, she's sweating. It's pouring out of her!" Alice gasped.

"I just noticed that too… and her heart just started pounding. She's not turning, she is suffering common side effects from the epinephrine." Carlisle began to bark orders, "ESME! Get me more syringes, a vial of cortisone, and my Tegaderm IV kit! ROSALIE! Head over to the hospital, go to the pharmacy and pick up my order at the window." Then he was dialing the pharmacy, and ordering a bag of cortisone drip for an IV, instructing them that she would be picking it up in a few minutes.

All of this registered in my understanding, but no words of response would form in my psyche. I vaguely realized as I was rolled flat onto my back, and a tourniquet was placed around my arm. I felt the stab of the IV needle, and the sensation of another liquid being forced into my vein. I kept trying to recoil from the pain. At least the fire was not building anymore, there was no increase in the pain. It was holding firm, the flames licking at my nerve endings throughout my body, searing me from the inside out.

Rosalie burst through the door, running into the room. "I have it."

I heard movement, and felt gentle tugging on the IV lines. Within moments, more liquid was seeping into my bloodstream. After another small eternity, I noticed the fire receding from my extremities. The needles and prickling disappeared. Ever so slowly, as the new medication worked its way through my system, the fire retreated until it was nothing more than a warm compress inside of my spine. My relief was manifest.

"Leah, can you hear me?" Edward began talking to me. "Leah, I know the pain has stopped. Baby, please you gotta talk to me." He sounded so broken. It penetrated my mind, and I felt my heart break for him, but the words refused to form.

"Leah, you promised me to fight, so fight! Where are you? You have to be in there. Talk. To. Me."

My inability to communicate was irritating me. I was having fragmented thoughts, but I couldn't push them into the field of my conscious mind. I felt like I was locked up, being held a prisoner within my own head. I began to focus all of my energy on pushing at the ethereal walls of said prison, looking for a place of weakness to slip out of. It seemed that each time I pushed, they would give, and it felt like I was making headway, but I realized each time that the "wall" gave, it simply expanded. Before long, I found that my memories and thoughts were clear, but somehow I still felt restrained, as if I could not break free from some unseen cell. My head, my mind felt right (aside from feeling trapped within itself), but my body was still unresponsive.

"Edward, I think I am going to take out the breathing tube. She's been breathing fine on her own for the last hour, and the swelling has gone down." I heard Carlisle saying.

"Okay. If she is progressing so much, and the allergic reaction seems to have cleared up, then why isn't she coming to consciousness?" I felt the tube being removed from my throat, and I felt myself drawing air into my lungs. It felt like my throat had been scoured with steel wool. Each intake of air was like pouring lemon juice on a paper cut.

"How long has she been unconscious now?" Rose was asking.

"Two hours and forty-seven minutes." Edward said quietly.

I was listening to everyone speak, and I was screaming inside my head for Edward to hear me. I was beginning to panic over the fact that he could not. It was our first connection; this strange telepathic sharing of minds. I needed him to hear me. I needed to feel connected to him again.

I heard the beeping of the telemetry monitor, as my heart rate rang out in digital sound. It was picking up speed with my increasing internal crisis. I felt my breathing hitch, and accelerate as my heart rate soared. Mentally, I was pushing against the "walls" of my mind again. Scratch that, I was raging against them. Body slamming them. Clawing, biting, kicking and screaming… all against a barrier that I could feel, but not adequately define.

"Carlisle, what is going on with her heart rate? And she's hyperventilating!" Edward's voice was frantic.

"I don't know. You are asking questions that I am asking myself! None of this makes sense from a normal medical standpoint… but Leah is _not_ a normal medical case!"

Edward's hands were on either side of my head, and he was yelling at me. I could hear every word, and my mind was yelling back at him in response, but I could not break free for him to hear me. I grew so agitated, so angry at my inability to communicate with the man I loved, that I began to scream.

It was an internal, mental scream. It felt like my synapses were firing all at once under the sheer magnitude of the force of that internal shriek. I felt like I was vibrating from my mind outwardly. The vibration began to manifest physically in my fingertips. I could feel them begin to tremble, and I focused on them. I stopped screaming, and focused on my fingertips, willing them to move again, but I could not find the connection to them, it seemed that just as my mind had disconnected with Edward, it also had disconnected from my body. It occurred to me what was going on. I didn't know how to undo what I had done, but I figured it out.

While experiencing the intense, wracking pain cause by the epinephrine, I had escaped into my mind, locking my consciousness safely away in my carefully constructed "safe" of memories. When the steroids counteracted the effects of the epinephrine, I should have awoken, but my consciousness was trapped inside of my brain, locked behind the invisible wall that I erected for self preservation.

I remembered watching an episode of House M.D., where Mos Def plays a man injured in a bicycle accident who ends up paralyzed, yet conscious. That is what was going on here, I was absolutely certain. I just needed to figure out how it was that I made the connection to my fingertips.

"If she weren't unconscious, I would say that her sudden spike in blood pressure and heart rate, in conjunction with the increased respirations resembled a panic attack." Carlisle's voice sounded thoughtful.

That wasn't news to me. I knew I was in the middle of a panic attack. I felt like I was on the verge of another as I considered the possibility that I might forever remain locked inside my own head, unable to move or communicate.

"Do you have access to an EEG at the hospital? I mean, maybe something changed in her brain between the venom and the medications, and I just can't hear her. Maybe she IS having a panic attack." Edward asked.

"I guess checking out her level of brain activity would be a good idea. Let's get her into the car, and take her to the hospital. The EEG is not something I can take off the premises. We'll go in through the employee entrance in the office wing. I doubt anyone will be there at this time of evening."

Edward had me cradled in his arms and carried me to a car quickly. He must have sat us in the rear seat, because he held me the entire way to the hospital. He whispered into my ear, and gently kissed me throughout the trip.

"Baby, I have this feeling you can hear me. I know you are in there. Hear my voice, and stay strong." He kissed my forehead. "Somehow this is going to work out. We'll find a way." Kissed my nose. "I need you. Come back to me." Kissed my cheek. "Feel me. Feel my arms, hear my voice, and feel my love." Kissed my lips. "I love you."

For a moment, I allowed myself to bask in the tenderness and love that he was showering on me. His declaration of love was so genuine. I could hear the sincerity of his voice. I could feel love radiating from him. It surrounded and enveloped us. I wished yet again that he could hear me.

_I love you! I love you so much, Edward. Hear me, please. Feel me. Feel my love._

I felt Edward's arms flex around me, pulling me more tightly to his chest. He buried his nose in my neck, and breathed deeply.

"I feel you, baby. I feel our connection. Why can't I hear you?" his voice was so tender, and so sad. I knew then that our connection was _not_ severed, I could feel everything he was feeling, and I could hear everything he was saying before he opened his mouth. It was all there. He was a part of me now. It was like I could feel him inside of me.

Hello epiphany! I could feel him inside of me! Of course I could feel him inside of me. This was a result of his venom. It wasn't just me locking myself into the "vault" inside of my head, his venom was coursing through my body, absorbed through my tissues. Something inside of me was changing, it had to be. I began to seek out that feeling of connectedness, that bond that had made us into one person.

"We're here, Leah. Carlisle is going to run more tests." Edward reassured me as he carried me gently into the office. Carlisle had called ahead and spoken to one of the nurses that he trusted, and asked her to set everything up for him. They began to hook me up to the machine, placing sticky dots all over my head.

As I took all of this in, I was still able to focus on the venom connecting me to Edward, and feeling it as it crept through my system. I could feel him throughout my pelvis and abdomen, creeping into my legs. I felt him spread outward from my stomach, radiating into my chest, and seeping further into my head, and arms. It occurred to me that as I felt him spreading through my system, I was not cold anymore. The air around me began to feel increasingly warm. I was feeling comfortably toasty from the inside out.

"There is definite brain activity. It's incredible, look at this, Edward! The high levels of activity across the board are _astounding_! It appears that she is using far more of her brain than the average human." Carlisle's voice seemed to grow in excitement as he expounded. "Look at her Gamma and Beta wavelengths. She is most definitely alert, and concentrating hard on something. The odd part is that her Delta and Theta waves show just as much activity! It's like she is dreaming while she is actively thinking. This is fascinating!"

"So, her whole brain is active?" Edward sounded both puzzled and excited.

I listened and followed the conversation. It made sense. My mind seemed to be capable of keeping track of everything that was going on all at once. My focus was clear on the ever growing feeling of association with Edward, the increasing panic that I would not be able to break out of this mental prison, while feeling incredibly emotional over the declarations of love between Edward and myself. There was room in my mind to listen to the hum of the lights in the room, and the scratching of the needles against the paper on the EEG machine.

"Edward, I think I want to look into her medical history. Do you think she would mind if I looked into her charts to compare them to what I am seeing now? You know her better than any of us. Would she see it as a violation of her privacy?"

"I'm not sure, but if you think it will help shed some light, then I am willing to go out on a limb. I say go for it."

I heard the door to the room open, and more than one set of feet leaving the room. When the door shut behind them, the room fell quiet. I listened to the voices of Edward's family in the hallway as they plotted to hack into my files to find out what kind of information was contained in them, and if they might be helpful. They planned to split up afterwards, and break and enter into the various doctor's offices that might contain enlightening material, make copies, then bring them back here for Carlisle to compile a comprehensive picture of my health before today's events.

Edward picked me up again, and held me in his strong arms. He rocked me gently back and forth, humming the beautiful aria that I had heard him hum once before. I wanted so much to just regain control over my body. The more connected I felt to Edward, the more connected I found that I wanted to be. The timing was horrendous, but I found that I wanted to connect with him physically again. I wanted hold him tight against me, skin against skin.

How sick was that? Here I was, completely unable to move, or communicate with the man I loved, and all I wanted was to make love to him again? Maybe, (I told myself) it was because he was holding me in his arms, and humming to me while a corner of my mind was still tracking the venom as it moved inside of my body. Right now, it seemed to be concentrated in my pelvic region. There was an odd tickling sensation there. It felt like a slightly less painful version of the "pins and needles" that you feel in your feet when you sit on them for too long. I made a mental note to mention this to Carlisle… that is of course, _if_ I were ever able to communicate again.

I struggled against the barrier again. Fighting to get out. I was so overcome emotionally that I could feel my heart rate escalating again, and of course the hyperventilation resumed. I was sobbing inside, and I felt like I was about to crack under the intense desire to be free.

"You're crying?" Edward croaked, wiping tears off of my face.

The desperation increased within me at a remarkable rate until my breathing began to heave, and sobs broke free from my throat. I was sick and tired of all of the crying that I had been doing over the last few days, but _this_? This felt like freedom! The more I allowed myself to feel, the more I allowed myself to mourn for all of the loss that I felt in that moment, the more my body responded. I thought about my father's death. I thought about the fact that he might not even have _been_ my father to begin with. I allowed myself to remember the night I was raped in detail. I brought to mind every sad occurrence I could muster, and forced it all to the surface.

I found that I was sobbing hysterically. I was _physically_ bawling. As Edward pulled me tightly to his chest, my arms somehow found their way around him, and I curled myself into him, clinging to the back of his shirt.

"Leah, it's okay. You're going to be okay! Open your eyes" Edward whispered, kissing my temple.

Through all of the pain that I allowed myself to feel and purge in those moments, I suddenly felt hope. It started in the simple reminder of Edward's love for me. As he spoke to me, pleading with me to wake up and come back to him, I felt my heart expand inside of me. Maybe not literally, but I felt it all the same. I was loved. Edward _loved_ me, and had staked a claim to me. I knew that vampires only ever mated with one person. I knew that the bonds that had been forged between us over the last couple of days were unbreakable. I was his, and he was mine.

Great, now I was crying because I was so happy! Suddenly, I felt a shift take place inside of my mind. It was like something had settled into place. I didn't know how else to explain it, but I definitely experienced _something_. After all of the struggling. After all of the screaming, and fighting to get free? Freedom came through mourning my losses, and accepting that I didn't ever have to feel the weight of them again.

"Oh, Edward!" I exclaimed. "I can move!"

Edward began to laugh. It was a sound of relief, and sheer delight. I drew my head back, and smiled at him through the tears.

"Don't ever scare me like that again. Ever."

"Never." I promised, and then I kissed him deeply, and clung to him with all of my might.

**~UUaAP~**

Reviews are welcome and wanted!

Reviews show me your love.

Time for a couple of Rec's... If you have not already, please take time to read:

Laid Bare by Brits23... Summary-Desperate to taste-unable to deny. A defective vampire-a deceptive human girl. Monster and man discovers primal urges he never knew existed. Can it ever be enough? To drink her is completion, to touch her is , ExB OOC,Canon pairs. Rated M

You Can't Hide Forever by MrsK81... Summary-Bella has been running for six years, always hiding away but when she meets Edward Cullen that isn't an option anymore. Does she risk everything for him or can she walk away? AH and with a bit of everything romance, humor, angst and suspense. Rated M

My Shiny Freak by prettyflour... Summary- Bella with some backbone. A cynical smart ass who attracts the attention of the local brooding vampire, Edward Cullen. AU/OOC. Rated M for strong snark and lemons galore. Nominated for three Tomato Soup Awards! (I laughed my arse off through this whole story. Her sense of humor is fabulous!)


	24. Chapter 24Perpetual Virgin?

**AN**... A week goes by, and here is another chappie. I hope you enjoy!

Thank you to all of you who have been reading and adding this to your  
>alert and favorite lists. I appreciate all of you! And for those of you who<br>are reviewing.. Thank you, and I FLUV YOU! Each and every one of you!

MY hearfelt thanks to mylovely pre-reader prettyflour. You are amazing.  
>I appreciate all you have done, your adivce and opinions mean the<br>world to me! I heart you!

**~UUaAP~**

Chapter 24

_**Perpetual Virgin? **_

Bella POV

Jacob didn't have time to fully brief me on the scene I had witnessed. He just told me that it was really bad, and that he needed to go address the rest of the pack. He asked me to get some rest, and assured me that he would be back as soon as he got everyone on the same page. He refused to answer any of the questions that I asked.

Leah and Edward had taken off to Lord-knows-here, and Jacob had disappeared into the woods, leaving just Billy and me in the yard. I looked at Billy, hoping that he might read my questioning expression and fill me in. I was met with silence.

"I thought so." I told him dejectedly. "When he gets home, just tell him I went home to shower and sleep. I guess I'll see him…" I shrugged and rolled my eyes. "whenever."

"Bella, you really shouldn't leave the rez right now. You don't have Jake or a Cullen with you. It's not safe." He warned me.

"I'm going. I'll be fine." I glared at him, my expression a bit haughty. "Who's going to stop me?" I got in my truck and slammed the door, high-tailing it away from the rez as fast as my truck would allow.

A part of me felt bad about the way I was acting. I know I was being a bit of a petulant child, on the one hand, but on the other, I felt that it was less about being child-ish than it was about being _treated_ as a child. I wished I were a little more like Leah. She had a way of standing up for herself, even to Edward. I had always had a hard time doing that. At least with Jacob, I generally held my own, but there was something in his tone today that intimidated me. There was a new authority in his voice, and it commanded respect.

I still didn't know why he decided to go all Aragorn. (You know, reclaiming the birthright he had refused...) From what I had seen, and was able to make out, Sam had used his authority over Leah in some horrendous way, and apparently Paul had something to do with it as well? I couldn't imagine Sam doing anything to hurt Leah. More than once, I had seen him look at her with a longing, and regret in his eyes. He had always stuck up for her when the rest of the pack got angry over her snarkiness with them. According to Jake, Sam had warned the guys repeatedly to show her respect, and to be gentle with her.

So, what could he _possibly_ have done to her? My mind could not wrap itself around the idea that Sam would in any way knowingly harm Leah. Aside from how tender he was with Leah herself, I had witnessed the love between he and Emily, the woman who was carrying his child. They were cousins. If Emily found out that he had harmed Leah, imprint or no, I am sure that she would leave him. I kept turning the scenario over in my head, knowing that there was no way I was going to figure this out on my own.

The farther that I got from La Push, the more I began to think about the inherent danger that I was putting myself into. There was a horde of newborn vampires literally on the war-path, and they were coming for me, but here I was, leaving the protection of the people who loved me, and heading home- alone.

_Smaaart move, Bella_.

Suddenly there was a loud sound from the back of my truck that scared the hell out of me. I looked in the rear-view mirror, and saw Alice glaring at me. I pulled over so that she could get in. It was obvious that she was angry with me, and it was obvious why.

"I know. I'm stupid. I put myself in danger. Newborn army, redheaded bitch all out for blood, and I go off alone. How dare I? " I rolled my eyes, quipping out what I could imagine her saying to me.

"Well, all that is true... but I really came to save you from that God-awful getup you were going to put on after you shower." She cringed and wrinkled her nose. "You need to be prepared, because Jake is going to be upset when he finds out you left without him. You are going to need to wear something nicer than that to distract him. Lucky for you, I brought the perfect little number with me!" she wagged her eyebrows suggestively. "So, we're alone now, and I have been dying to talk to you. Spill it!"

I blushed and stuttered as I gave a brief and highly edited accounting of my morning with Jacob. I was uncomfortable sharing even as much as I had. It was such a private and intimate thing between Jake and me. Of course, it wasn't exactly a secret now, was it? Charlie knows for pity's sake. _Ugh, just kill me now_!

"So, was it good? I mean, it wasn't too painful, was it?" Alice asked gently. The softness of her voice, and the sincerity of her tone hit me as odd. She wasn't asking me for voyeuristic reasons, it was clear.

"It was amazing, Al! He was so gentle, and even hesitant. I actually made the move." I looked her in the eye as I turned off the engine, having pulled into the driveway at home. "What is it, Alice? You sounded so concerned?"

"Let's just say that I have a peculiar grasp of what the first time is like, and I sympathize with the pain that can be involved." She said looking out of the window, her gaze a million miles away.

"Alice, what do you mean, 'a peculiar grasp'?"

"Bella, let's go inside. You shower, and I'll spill my guts. I need to talk to someone other than Jasper about this for a change."

Alice handed me a small bag from Fredericks of Hollywood as I shut the door behind us. Inside I found the sexiest little baby-doll set in sand colored lace over satin with matching g-string panties. I raised my eyebrows at her, and she grinned at me, nodding approval. I decided to go with it. I had learned long ago to never bet against Alice. She followed me upstairs and was quiet while I gathered everything I needed. She sat on the toilet as I showered, and true to her word, she spilled.

"I was a virgin when I was turned. Do you know what that means?" I didn't answer her. I wasn't sure where she was going with that statement. "Our physical bodies are forever frozen when the venom changes us. It may heal us if we are injured at the time that we change, and it certainly prefects our bodies, but that comes with a price. It has been a difficult one for Jazz and me."

"Difficult, how? Was it really painful the first time your two made love?" I was truly curious now. Maybe because her hymen was hard as stone like the rest of her, it had been a rough experience?

"It is _always_ the first time, Bella." Alice stated acidly.

"What?" I looked around poked my head out of the curtain to look at her.

"The venom forever heals me, keeping in-tact _all_ that I was when I changed. Every time that Jasper and I make love, it is the first time for me." Alice whispered.

"Is it always painful? Don't you get to enjoy it at all?" My heart broke for her at that thought.

"Jasper is extremely cautious, and tender with me. He always makes sure that I am pleasured, but most times it is a bit painful, when he first enters me." I stood under the water, rinsing the soap off of my body, wondering how I would deal with such a fate. I was blessed with Jake, I already know that, but knowing that he had been so gentle with me that I had hardly experienced any pain made me all the more grateful.

"Is that why you two are not as overt about your intimate life as Emmett and Rose? I mean, in all the times I stayed over there with the family, I never heard a peep from you guys, but those two were like rabbits, and once I even heard Carlisle and Esme." I cringed at the memory of that evening. Edward had been playing music rather loudly, and I was beginning to get a headache, so I excuse myself to go to the bathroom. Edward had not seemed happy about my leaving the room, but he hadn't stopped me. I think he figured I was going to the bathroom on his level of the house, but I went to the one beside Carlisle's study, knowing that there was ibuprofen in the medicine cabinet there. The noises I overheard from Carlisle and Esme were extremely sexy, and very private. I grabbed the bottle, and flew back to the bathroom on the third story of the house as quickly and quietly as I was able, and was beyond thankful that my clumsy ass didn't fall on the way.

"That is not the main reason by any means, but yes, it is part of it. Rose and Emmett tend to be a little bit exhibitionistic. If that's a word." Alice laughed. "Carlisle and Esme are more discreet, but at times their passion is audible. Jasper is always mindful of how gentle he has to be with me sexually. Sometimes I end up feeling so badly, because I'll never be able to give him what he deserves." her voice sounded anguished.

"What do you mean, 'never be able to give him what he deserves'?" I asked her incredulously.

"Bella, when your body is used to having sex on a regular basis, you will be able to branch out and do crazy, earth shattering, and fulfilling things with Jacob. Sex won't always be a tender act of 'making love'." She made finger quotes. "Sometimes it will be raw, and animalistic. You are going to _fuck_ him sometimes, and it will definitely not be gentle. I can never give Jasper that. When vampires hunt together, it usually becomes sexual as we give ourselves over to our senses, and it is a primal thing. That's why I rarely ever hunt with Jasper. He always hunts alone, or with the guys."

"The morning after Jasper and I fist made love, we decided to hunt. I hadn't even stopped to consider that my _hymen_ would heal. When things got heated between us after the hunt, Jasper practically attacked me, and I wanted him to! But when he took me…" she shook her head, wincing at the memory. "Shit, Bella, it hurt so bad. He was so far gone in the blood-lust, and then the lust-lust… he stopped as soon as he realized that I was shrieking in pain, and not screaming in pleasure. He still beats himself up over the fact that he hurt me. I have told him so many times that it wasn't his fault. He can never just let loose, and show me how he lusts for me. That is why I say that I will never be able to give him all that he deserves." Her face was crumpled in pain, if she could produce tears, she would surely be crying. I grabbed my towel, securing it around me before I pulled her into a hug.

"Alice, Jazz loves you. I don't think that he cares about not being able to "fuck" you. He gets to make love to you, and spend his life with you at his side. There is no way that anything could be better to him than to just be with you, and take care of you! Besides, I'm pretty sure that he has a reason to hold his head up that most men don't!"

"What do you mean?" She looked at me with a puzzled expression.

"Well, because he is so attentive to your experience, you already said that you are pleasured every time… from what I understand, not all men can claim that. Not all human men, anyhow." Alice laughed, and squeezed me back tightly. "Can't… breathe" I squeaked. She quickly released me, apologizing for cutting off my air supply.

"Trust me, Al. I have seen how he looks at you. You are everything to him. He doesn't feel like he lacks anything by being with you. Have you told him that you feel like he deserves more?"

"No." she grimaced. "He knows that I have insecurities about it, but insecurities are something I don't discuss, and surprisingly, he has never pressed the issue."

"I thought so. You _should_, you know. What he says just might surprise you. I know that he won't agree to be anything but totally fulfilled by you!"

"Bella, I gotta be honest with you. At first, I was so upset about this whole Edward and Leah situation, and I was angry at both Edward and you for not sticking together, but I am beginning to see a different side to it all. Aside from the fact that I am getting to know and like Leah, I can see now that you genuinely love Jake. I am glad that you are able to share that love with him. And now that we have had this whole conversation, I have to admit that I am kind of glad that things went the way they did. If things had continued in the way they were going for you two, he would have turned you into a virgin vampire too. You would have suffered the same fate that I do. And honestly, I think that if you two had _truly_ been mated together, he would not have been able to keep his hands off of you for so long. He would have craved intimacy with you. "

"I didn't think of that. Do you think maybe a part of him always knew that he would not end up with me? Could that be why he was able to leave me when he did?"

"That's an interesting theory! I know that he was miserable without you, but the fact that he lasted six months without contacting you, or even coming back to check up on you should have been a flag to the family. I'm surprised none of us really thought that through."

"Well, whatever the case. I am really happy with Jake. Once I decided to give in to the love that I feel for him, I felt freedom. I don't know how else to describe it. He makes me feel complete in a way I didn't know was possible."

"Enough of this emo shit… go put on that sexy nightie, and let me fix your hair. My vision of your future clouds back over in forty-nine minutes, so I think it is safe to assume that a werewolf will be here!" she winked at me. I went into my room and dressed in the lingerie, then stood in front of my mirror, appraising myself. I had to admit that even though I would probably always be self-conscious, I rocked that sexy outfit!

Alice barged into my room after a few minutes, and looked me up and down, admiring the effect. "I knew this would look amazing on you! There is no way that Jake will be able to be angry with you for long in this outfit!"

"Do you really think he is going to be angry?" I asked, hoping that she could give me some insight.

"Bella, he is a man. He is in love with you. He is also a werewolf, an angry shape-shifting werewolf, and you left the protection of La Push - _alone_ - and risked your life because you were upset over not being filled in? Because he didn't _brief_ you first? Yeah, I think it's safe to say that he is _pissed off_, Bella. I was, and you're not even my girlfriend! Although, dressed like that, I might be willing to give it a go!" She gave me a sultry look, and laughed at herself. I was nervous enough over the thought of fighting with Jacob that I couldn't even laugh at her very funny lez-inuation.

Alice was just finishing styling my hair into a sultry, sexy style when the vision hit. She froze, and her eyes glazed over, I knew that expression. She stayed like that for about a minute and a half before she snapped out of it, but it felt so much longer.

"What is it?" I worried.

"I have to get home. Edward and Leah have an emergency." Her voice was stressed.

"Can I help?"

"No, the only person who can really help is Carlisle. I gotta call him and tell him to get home too."

"Can you tell me what is going on?"

"Bella, they… I can't. Just - Leah's life is in danger. I have to go." She gave me another quick squeeze, and was gone. I was so worried for Leah. I hoped that Alice would think to call me and let me know how things went. Of course, part of me was stressed out and feeling like a mushroom again.

_Just keep me in the dark and feed me crap._ I tried to shake off the frustration. I didn't mean to be behaving like a juvenile, but I was just fed up with always being the last to know. I was the only human in an equation of supernatural proportions. I would forever be the fragile member of this close-knit community. And eventually I would be dead, while the rest of them could all life on forever. Jacob once told me that as long as they continued to phase every once in a while, they would not age, and would live on forever, just like my vampire family. I still wished for forever with my family.

I looked at the clock. According to Alice's suddenly clouding vision, Jacob would be here in about a minute. I decided to go downstairs and meet him at the door. Just as I got to the bottom of the steps, I heard the door handle jiggle.

"Hi, babe. I'm so glad you're here." I stepped in front of the door at the moment it burst open, and was greeted by a pair of blood-red eyes.

**~UUaAP~**

Reviews are ALWAYS welcome and wanted!

Don't throw hard things at me! Please? Cliffie's are fun, right? ;)


	25. Chapter 25 Medical Mysteries

**AN**... First of all. I apologize from the bottom of my heart. I know that I just  
>promised last chapter that I would try to post every week, and I failed to<br>post this last week. I have had a heck of a past few weeks. I will not make  
>any more empty promises. I will simply state that I will try very hard to keep<br>my updates regular, and as close to "weekly" as possible.

My HUGE thanks, and warm bear hugs go to my pre-reader, prettyflour.  
>I FLUV you! I was extremely excited to see this all done and in my<br>inbox when I got home from work today. You are amazing!

**Disclaimer**: I don't own any part of Twilight. Ownership begins and ends with SM...  
>I just like to play with her characters sometimes. (I hope she isn't offended!)<p>

~UUaAP~

**Chapter 25**

_**Medical Mysteries**_

Leah POV

Edward was still kissing me passionately when we heard someone outside the door. Their approach from the hallway was too stealthy to have been a human. Sighing deeply, Edward broke the kiss as Esme stepped into the room. She deposited a stack of papers onto Carlisle's desk before pulling me out of Edward's embrace, into her arms.

"Oh, sweet girl, I am so glad to see you awake! We were all so incredibly worried." She gushed. "How are you feeling?"

"Incredibly well, actually. It worries me, though that Edward can't hear my thoughts anymore." I mumbled the last part.

"Can you hear his?" Esme asked with her head tilted to the side, and a pensive look on her face.

"Sort of… I think… Yeah, I can. It's like I can hear an echo of his words right before he says them." I fumbled for words as I fought to explain what I had been noticing.

"Have you tried to project your thoughts, Edward?" Esme asked, her eyes narrowing farther.

"No, I have just been so happy that she is awake, I didn't take the time to experiment with anything."

"Maybe you should, Edward. There is no time like the present to start getting answers, and Carlisle will be back shortly. You know he will be asking far more questions than I am!" Esme said pointedly.

_She's right, beautiful. Carlisle will be hitting you with tons of questions. Can you hear me?_ He projected. I nodded my head vigorously, relief washing through me like a tidal wave.

"Oh, Edward! Why can't you hear me anymore?" I groaned. The pleasure of knowing that I could still hear my mate was short lived. I needed us to have our silent communication. It was unique to us, and I had grown accustomed to thinking it was only there because of our bond. It was like a tether that united us. He seemed to truly open his life to me once that connection was established.

Alice was the next to arrive. She placed a manila thin manila envelope onto the desk, then danced her way over to me, and gave me a quick hug. Her eyes were shining, and her smile beamed brightly.

"I saw you awake while I was in Doctor Lonogan's office. I am so glad that you're back with us." She grinned mischievously at Edward. His expression grew curious, and then confused as he stared at his sister.

"I don't understand." He whispered, cocking his head to the side and squinting as he seemed to be pondering something.

"What is it?", "What are you two hiding?" Esme and I asked at the same time.

"I had a vision of Leah, and it was as clear as seeing one us." Alice said with a cocky tone, and a smug expression.

"So, what does that mean?" Esme asked warily.

"I want to wait to theorize until Carlisle gets back" Alice stated with a finality that invited us to drop the subject. Edward was still lost in thought as his eyes widened, and shifted to look at me. His posture seemed a bit stiff, and his hands balled themselves into fists at his side. I couldn't read his expression clearly. His eyes widening suggested that whatever he had seen (or was maybe still seeing?) was surprising, but he wasn't giving anything away with his pensive expression.

Rosalie and Carlisle returned at the same time, placing more paperwork onto his desk. They each embraced me, welcoming me back. The heaviness in the room was palpable as Carlisle's expression became appraising. He asked me to follow him to an exam room, then handed me a hospital gown, and instructed me to undress completely before putting it on.

"I am going to look over the doctor's notes that we collected, and then I am going to run some tests. I already ordered blood work, and the Cat-scan machine is warming up as we speak. I'm not sure what other tests I am going to have to run, but I promise you that I will have some idea as to what happened to you shortly."

I thanked him, and changed into the ugly, thin gown as he asked, then seated myself on the gurney to wait. A short while later there was a knock at the door, and a large woman with dark red hair walked in. She appeared to be in her mid-forties, and had a very jovial air about her.

"Hi, there! Leah, is it? I'm Dorrie. I work in the lab, and on occasion I run some… private testing for Dr. Cullen." She winked at me in a conspiratorial fashion. I wondered how much she knew. I nodded in response.

"Yes, I am Leah." I decided not to ask any questions, because I knew that the existence of both species needed to remain a secret, and I had no idea how much trust could be placed in this woman's hands.

I watched warily as she placed a tourniquet on my arm, and prepared the syringe, and a _very long_ row of vials on the bed-side table. I glanced over, and quickly counted twenty vials.

"Holy shit! That's not blood work! That's a freaking _donation_" I shrieked, and Dorrie laughed.

"Yeah, I don't think that there is a test that the man hasn't ordered!" she agreed.

As I watched her movements, I saw her hair fall away from her neck, and stared at what I saw there. She had a large, ragged, semi-circle shaped scar that appeared to be paler than the surrounding skin. Noticing my blatant staring, she laughed.

"Touch it." She ordered. I hesitated, and threw her a suspicious expression. She shook her head, and grabbed my hand, placing it against the scar, which I noticed right away was cooler than the rest of her skin.

"How?" I asked quietly, as I withdrew my hand, and unconsciously touched my collar bone over the mark that Edward had given me.

"I was seventeen when Carlisle found me as some son-of-a-bitch was trying to drain me. He killed the bastard, while Edward sucked the venom out in time to save me." She gave me a knowing look. Neither of us said the word "vampire", but it hung in the air just the same. "Since that time, there has been complete trust between myself and the Cullens. I have followed them wherever they moved since that time. I went into this line of work so that I can work alongside him, and help them in some way. Whenever Carlisle needs help with… unconventional and/or questionable testing, he calls me up. So, what are you sweetie? You are very much like them, although you much more colorful skintone!" She laughed again.

"She's one of the shape-shifters from La Push." Rosalie answered as she waltzed into the room. Dorrie nodded with an "Ah, I see.", and finished filling the vials.

Dorrie left the room, promising to get us the results ASAP. Rose slipped an arm around my shoulders.

"How are you feeling?" She asked.

"Shocked? I thought that humans couldn't know about your kind? Aren't there rules? I mean, there's Dorrie, and Bella, and Charlie! How many _humans_ do you guys have in on your little charade?

"There are a few here and there." She shrugged.

"Why did Carlisle and Edward save her? I mean, they don't run around saving people from being meals all of the time, do they?"

"No, that's not something we do. As much as we'd all like to save every human from such a fate, it is not realistic."

"So why her?" I pressed.

"Alice had had a vision of the vampire stalking this girl. He had been following her for some time apparently, and Edward listened to his thoughts about her for a while before we decided that we should intervene. She was the daughter of a woman he had already drained. The woman had been his "singer" and he had been attracted to her physically, so he… defiled her as he devoured her. Dorrie looked just like her mother at that time. It was his plan to turn her so that he could keep her as his sex-slave forever."

"Edward and Carlisle would never allow that!" I whispered fiercely.

"Exactly. They decided to protect her, and were almost too late. Dorrie sort of fell in love with Carlisle, and has followed him around like a puppy ever since. She is a sweet woman, and has never made any 'moves' on him, so he has never tried to get rid of her. They work well together, and she has respect for his relationship with Esme. She has come in handy on many occasions."

"How so?" I was really curious about Dorrie at this point.

"Well, due to her expertise in the lab, we know that vampires have twenty-four chromosomes. Humans have twenty-three. Werewolves and you shape-shifters also have twenty-four. It took five years of study for them to come up with this, but apparently when a human becomes a vampire, it takes three days for the transformation, because as fast-acting as venom is in a system, it takes that long for all of the cells in the body to be affected. They actually used an electron microscope to record the changing of a group of cells exposed to our venom. It was fascinating to watch."

"Is that something I might get to see sometime?"

"Ask Carlisle, I am sure he'll show it to you."

"How long will it take to get the results of my blood work?"

"About a third of the results will be back in twenty-four hours. Of what is left, seventy-five percent will be back within two days, then the rest will trickle in within the next two weeks. It takes two weeks for a full toxicology report to be made, same with DNA results. Law and Order, and those ridiculous CSI shows make it look like DNA can be swabbed for and tested in a matter of a couple of hours, when in reality, a _rush job_ is closer to two weeks." Rose huffed in disgust.

"Gee, Rose! Passionate much?" I laughed at her heated rant.

"What can I say? I am a passionate person!" she smiled at me.

"Bella once told me that you were the only Cullen that hated her." I made the statement, but left it hanging in the air like a question. Rose winced, and looked at her feet.

"I never hated her." Rose almost whispered. "I was jealous of everything she had in her grasp, and was so willing to throw away."

"What did she have I her grasp?"

"A fulfilling future. A life. The possibility of growing old with a loving husband and children to fill their home."

"Is that what you miss most about your human existence?"

"I would love to have had children."

"Don't feel alone, Rose. I'll never have that either. I am so grateful for Edward in my life, but it pains me that I will never have a baby. Never feel that life growing inside of me, never make that bond while nursing the child that our love created."

"If you walked away today, Leah… you could have that still. Edward left Bella so that she could have that kind of life if she wanted. Crazy girl pined for him instead of moving forward with Jacob while Edward was away. I'm really glad that she's moved on finally. I always felt she deserved that chance. You have that chance, Leah."

"No… not really. I don't." My throat was suddenly dry, and my eyes were moist, again. Damnit.

"What do you mean? Does the imprint actually bind you? I mean, I know that you love Edward, and you two already mated, but I know that he would stand aside if he thought you could move forward in life and have the things he cannot give you."

"Rose, please hear me, because I am only going to say this ONE TIME. I like you, really I do, but if you ever suggest that again, I will rip your head off, and drop kick it at random. Then I will disassemble your body and scatter it around the globe so that it will take Emmett years to place you back together. I can't have children. I am the owner of non-functional ovaries, shriveled fallopian tubes, and a pre-maturely aged uterus. There is NOTHING Edward cannot give me. I love him beyond the imprint. I love him beyond reason. Do not EVER suggest my leaving him again. Are. We. CLEAR?"

"I... I'm sorry. I don't know why I do this. I tried to chase Bella away. When I wasn't consciously sending out unwelcoming vibes to her, I was actively ignoring her, even though I really liked her. I used to try to talk Tanya out of trying to seduce him. Well, until I figured out that he had no interest in her. Then I encouraged it, just to get to see the look of disgust on his face. I guess a part of me is like an annoying little sister… but another part of me just feels rejected. You see, when Carlisle found and changed me, he thought that Edward and I might make a good match. Edward was never attracted to me, and scoffed at the idea. He is the only male I have ever met, human or vampire, who didn't have any interest in me." She sounded sad and ashamed at the end of her admission. I looked into her eyes, and saw pain. I thought back to what Edward told me in the car. Rose had been raped nearly to death. I guessed that a little-bit of resentment and a lot-a-bit of anger could cause her to lash out. We fell into a slightly uncomfortable silence after her admission. I didn't know what to say to her.

I started thinking about being raped. Thinking about the rape brought my thoughts full circle to the previous day. Thankfully, I had not been _raped _again, but Paul certainly seemed to want to give it a go. I shuddered at the thought. Sam had shut him down fairly quickly. I still hated the fact that he had kept me pinned there against my will, but I was looking at the situation a little more objectively today than yesterday. Did I really believe that Sam would ever rape me? That he would rape anyone? No. I refused to believe that. I recalled the thoughts he had about the other female wolves. At the time, in my fear, I had seen it as a warning that he would treat me like the female wolves of the past, kept separate, and quiet, and used as whores for the pack. It broke my heart to think of them.

Looking back at it now, I could see that Sam was trying to get _me_ to see how much respect he held for me… that he would never allow me to be treated as such. That is why he stopped Paul in his line of thinking. I wondered then if Paul hadn't stopped trying to get Sam to 'share' me, what would Sam have done to Paul? Which made me wonder next… what has Jacob done with Paul? Jacob took his place as Alpha, and sent Sam away. I had spewed hatred to him. I had told him he was dead to me. I needed to make this right. Sam was going to be a father. He had potential to be a great father, and Emily needed to know that he had never actually harmed me. He was just angry because he didn't think I trusted him. She must be beside herself right now.

"Oh, God! OH, God! Oh, GOD!" I choked out loudly.

"What? What's wrong, Leah? Are you okay?" Rose asked hurriedly.

"I'm fine, I just need to talk to Edward… like right away!" The door flung open that moment, and Edward rushed to my side.

"What is it, baby? What happened?" he asked, holding my face in his hands.

"I was thinking about what you told me about Rose, and my situation… and then I was thinking about yesterday. Sam! Edward, we have to make things right there. He didn't harm me. He never even threatened me! It was Paul who did the threatening. Sam _did_ abuse his position by holding me there, but he never would have harmed me. You know this, right?" I blurted out quickly and animatedly, as Rose slipped quietly from the room.

"I never said that he harmed you, or that he _would have_ done so. I merely told Jake that he had abused his privilege, and that Paul had actually wanted to rape you."

"Well, we need to make it clear to both Jacob and to _Emily_ that Sam was not a part of the rape threat. I can't believe I told him he was dead to me! Edward, I lumped him with Paul in my mind at the time. I was so horrified, and felt so vulnerable with him keeping me on the ground that I associated it with Paul's thoughts. I have to go… I have to make sure that Emily knows the truth! She's pregnant, Edward! The stress alone could cause problems for her!" I was in full on panic mode by the time I finished voicing my thoughts.

"Shhh… calm down, baby! I promise, I will call Sam, and make sure everything is okay, and we will let him know that he is forgiven. It will be okay. But, right now… what I need you to focus on is getting through the testing that Carlisle has set up. He'll be here in a few minutes to discuss his initial findings with you, then you are getting a CT scan, a bone density test, and MRI, and he added about a dozen other tests to be run on the blood-work."

Edward picked me up, and turned to sit on the gurney with me in his arms. He rocked me gently, humming the sweet aria I loved so much, and kissed the top of my head, while rubbing soothing circles on my back with his thumb and fingers. I relaxed, and melted into him, breathing in his scent, and feeling the electric pulse of our connection. I flushed as I began to feel aroused at his nearness. He giggled quietly at me, and projected his thoughts into my mind as I felt his arousal growing against my hip.

_I smell you, love. And I promise that when I get you alone… I will take care of the need I sense there._ I sighed, and pressed my face into his chest to better inhale his sweet masculine scent.

"I noticed something earlier, but didn't pay it much attention. Rose didn't smell sicky-sweet to me anymore. Neither did Alice, Esme and Carlisle earlier." I stopped huffing his fragrance to consider this. "I mean, your scent was potently attractive to me back in the clearing, but I tend to think that it had more to do with the imprinting than anything else. Your family, though? Whew! They smelled awful! But now, I noticed how sweet they all smell, but it wasn't offensive, it was… nice?"

"Well, I hadn't mentioned it yet, but I think that Carlisle should do a complete set of vitals on you again. You don't feel hot like you should. I doubt if your temperature is above eighty degrees. Maybe less than that... I think that the venom did something to change you. You're not a vampire, but you aren't the same anymore either. You smell different too. Although, looking back, I didn't stop finding your scent offensive until after I spent that first night pondering over the whole situation. I think that as I watched you cry yourself to sleep against me, something re-aligned inside of me. By morning, I think I knew that you were truly my mate. Acceptance of that fact is what changed everything for me. You ceased to smell like a dog to me, and started smelling like a woman." He inhaled deeply from my neck. "Now you smell like MY woman! It's like… and I know this will sound ridiculous… a mirror of my own scent, only mixed with flowers and fruit instead of spice. I recognize my scent emanating from you."

I smiled broadly at that. I liked the sound of it. I knew I could feel him inside of me, but the thought that he was so much a part of me now that I was "emanating" his scent made me giddy. I looked up into his eyes, and began to study them. The beautiful color of goldenrod, and bright citrine flecks swirled with minute crimson flecks around the edges of his iris. I felt my eyes widen as confusion set in.

"Leah, what's wrong? Why are you looking at me like that?" Edward's voice sounded frightened.

"I thought your eyes weren't supposed to have any red in them when you feed on animals!" I accused.

"Sweetheart, think about it. I tried to suck my venom back out of you yesterday. I am surprised my eyes are not more red than yellow right now." He relaxed and smiled at me.

"I feel silly. I'm so sorry. I wasn't thinking." I touched his face, and looked deeply into his eyes once again. Suddenly the red swirls became a thing of beauty. It was like looking at myself on the inside of him. I wondered if he could feel me inside of him in the same way that I felt him inside of me. I decided to ask.

"Edward? Can you feel me?"

"What do you mean? You're here in my arms, of course I can feel you!"

"No, not like that. Close your eyes and concentrate on what you are feeling inside. Do you feel me there? Inside?" He closed his eyes, and slowly rolled his head to one side. I watched as his eyebrows drew together, and his lips parted slightly. He really looked like he was trying to feel what I was feeling. Suddenly his eyebrows lifted, and his lips began to twitch into a sexy lopsided smile. I saw him make the connection. I knew he could feel me. Inside.

I closed my eyes, and felt the warmth that was Edward inside of me. That mild "pins and needles" feeling had subsided in my pelvis, but I could still feel him there. It was like I could feel him taking up residence there. I placed my hand against his chest, and concentrated on the connection we shared, willing him to feel my love taking up residence inside of him too.

"I can feel you. It's like you curled up inside of my chest. And when you placed your hand against me there, I swear, it almost felt like my heart tried to beat. It's amazing." He opened his eyes, and smiled a broad, beaming smile into my eyes.

Carlisle cleared his throat. He was standing in the doorway, and had apparently witnessed our little exercise in "feeling each other". I smiled at him.

"You got answers for me, doc?"

"Maybe a few. Mostly I have questions. Hopefully your answers, combined with the tests you are about to undergo will provide the information to THE pertinent question." He used finger quotes around _the_ for emphasis. I chuckled at him.

"Fire away, Carlisle."

"You broke your arm when you were fourteen… a compound fracture. Did the old injury site ever cause you pain when you phased?"

"Occasionally. Never enough to cause concern, why?"

"Well, I intend to focus on any changes I see on the MRI readings against relevant medical histories. I just wanted to know if it had ever been problematic."

"Oh, okay."

"And you had your appendix removed at seventeen, I see. Your tonsils removed at twelve, and you had an infection in a tattoo site just after your eighteenth birthday?"

"Yeah. It was so bad that I was on an IV antibiotic, and the dermatologist kindly removed it with a laser so that I wouldn't have a hideous monstrosity on my back. Instead a have a slight scar that looks like a burn. I learned the hard way to not get drunk. It was a spur of the moment decision ON the night I turned eighteen. My dad freaked out. Any other questions?"

"You saw a OB/GYN in the winter. He diagnosed you with early onset menopause. Does this run in your family?"

"No." I blushed a little. "I had never even heard of it. I asked Dr. Lonogan what caused it, but he just said that it was probably some hereditary thing. He wouldn't look me in the eye. I knew he was lying to me. What causes it, Carlisle? Aside from heredity?"

"Usually it is caused by a severe case of PID, pelvic inflammatory disease. Did you ever have an untreated infection?"

"I thought it was a raging yeast infection." I sighed. I started to tear up. "After I was raped, and washed in the river, I had begun to notice painful urination, and a strong burning, and pain, but I assumed it was yeast, and treated it with over-the-counter meds. I noticed it would feel better after I phased, so I spent a few days as the wolf, and when I phased back, the pain and burning were gone. I figured I was all better. I never tied the dwindling periods and hot flashes with it. How stupid am I?"

"No, sweetheart, not stupid! You reacted the best way you knew how." Carlisle crooned softly to me. His tone and expression were so fatherly, I just wanted to throw myself into his arms, and let him comfort me. "What do you say we go and get all of these tests done so that we can get you home, and check on your mother?" Carlisle gently squeezed my shoulder, and smiled at me.

"Okay, let's do this."

Four and a half hours later, I was _finally_ done with the MRI. I groaned when Carlisle told me that the CT scan would only take a third of the time that the MRI had, and that the bone density scan would be even shorter. I figured I had at least another two and a half to three hours ahead of me before I could go home. I decided then and there that after all of this testing was over, I was NOT going to step foot inside the hospital again. Ever.

I was getting dressed into clothes that Rose had kindly brought for me to wear home when Alice burst into the room, thrusting her phone towards Edward.

"Edward, you need to talk to Jake. He's freaking out. Edward, I am so sorry! I fucked up. I screwed up so bad." Her face crumpled in pain, and she looked like she would be crying if it were possible.

"No." Edward's face seemed to turn impossibly more pale as he spoke into the cell phone in his hand. He lurched forward, falling to his knees as his face also crumpled in agony.

"No, I am sure she didn't know… she loves Bella, and would never allow harm to come to her." He gasped. "What text?"

"Well, I am sure there is an explanation." I heard Jake's wild, angry voice seething through the phone. I couldn't make out the words, but he was definitely giving Edward the "what for".

"I have no idea. I know she had a vision, and came home to assist Leah and I…" Jake's angry voice cut him off.

"Jake, I don't know, but I promise you that _no one_ in my family would endanger Bella. Not ever!" more angry words, then the tone changed, and sounded broken.

"Of course, Jacob. We will be there as soon as we can. I have to take Leah home first, but…" interrupted again. "No, Jacob, she has had her own ordeal since we left there, and needs to rest." Then I interrupted.

"I feel fine. I am not tired. If Bella needs assistance, then I am coming with you!" I insisted. I was not going to sit on my laurels when my new friend needed help, even if I had no idea what was going on. "WE will be there soon, Jake!" I yelled at the phone, giving Edward an expression that dared him to argue with me.

~UUaAP~

All reviews are Welcome and Wanted.  
>I read every one, and almost without fail, they make my heart sing, and my smile beam.<p>

This time I will recommend ...

**Wild... **by PeppahLouie :Recently widowed Bella moves to Seattle to start a new life. Reconnecting with her friend, Bella meets Alice's brother, Chef Edward Cullen. Celibate by choice for 2 years, what happens when Edward finds himself undeniably attracted to a sexy new Bella?


	26. Chapter 26 Torturous Revelations

**AN...** BIG LOVE and my thanks to my awesome pre-reader, prettyflour. You rock!

Also, much thanks to all who are reading. I get new "alert" messages every day,  
>and I "squee" in delight! I would love to hear from you all.<p>

This chapter is short, but I hope it helps to answer more questions than it  
>raises! ;)<p>

**Disclaimer:** My initals are not SM.. therefore, I am obligated to tell you that I do  
>NOT own any part of Twilight. Stephenie is amazing enough to allow, and even<br>encourage us to mess with her characters. (I have been enjoying it immensely!)

Chapter 26

_**Torturous Revelations**_

__**UUaAP**__

**Bella POV**

Agony. Excruciating, blindingly white-hot heat. It is searing my skin along my arm, traveling once again towards my shoulder. Ice-cold lips pressed against the incision. I scream out once again as the painful suction begins… again. The fire recedes as the exhaustion takes over. This is the third session this hour. Those red eyes keep dancing merrily, laughing at my torment.

Just as the lips release me and the pain dies down to a "bearable", ragged ache at the now ninth point of entry, the other torture begins. I wince as the tubing us shoved once again up my nose.

"Swallow." Red-eyes orders me. I gag.

"Swallow this, or I will give you something else to swallow." He pauses, grinning at me maniacally. "Not that _I _would mind but I would think that _you_ would prefer to swallow the tubing. Besides I don't think that Victoria would be very pleased with me if she knew about the last time. She'd think I would snap your neck before it's time. She doesn't know how much practice I have had with humans over the years. You see _Bella _I like to fuck my human women before I devour them." Red eyes glow all the more brightly, and I begin to shake uncontrollably, quaking to the core of my being. I swallow the bile threatening to rise in my throat effectively allowing passage of the tube into my stomach.

Now the shivering and irrepressible frigidity take over as he hangs a bag of cold saline water to drain slowly into my stomach, returning hydration and nutrients to my system. He has already taken so much blood. I vomit several times as the thoughts of the past… however many hours wash over me. Red-eyes won't tell me his name. He won't answer my direct questions. I stopped asking them after the first cycle. It hurt so badly. I don't know where we are. A strange room. His eyes are all I see. I can't take in his face.

He bites me three times. The irrational pain begins to take over my senses, I know this pain. James inflicted this on me, but Edward… my sweet Edward made it go away. Where is he? No. Jacob. My _Jacob._ Edward is not mine. I don't think he ever was. Jacob, my sun. My soul. I left the safety of his home. He doesn't know where I am. Will he ever know what happened to me?

My thoughts run away with me. I cannot focus. My stomach hurts so badly. This cold water is distending my stomach. It hurts like a knife in the gut. I vomit frequently, and the pressure is released momentarily but the terrible, stabbing cold is unrelenting. I know in a moment that it will become engorged again and I will vomit… again. After he changes the bag three times, I know that he will give me a little while to sleep. Hopefully my body will cooperate. Right now I would welcome sleep if I thought it _could_ take me.

The first time Red-eyes shoved the tube up my nose I gagged. I refused to swallow. He told me that I would swallow either the tube, or whatever else he gave me to swallow. He stood behind me. I couldn't see what he held in his hand. He made me choose. The tubing hurt pressing against the back of my throat, shoved up through my nostril. My nose was bleeding, and I didn't know what he was trying to force into me. I made my choice. I chose wrong, yanking the clear, flexible offending item out of my nose. I gagged as it entered, and gagged as it exited. I vomited a little. Why didn't I swallow the tube?

He walked in front of me, his crimson eyes shining with evil delight. I looked straight ahead, and screamed. I begged for the tube, but he told me I had already made my choice. His right hand was cupping and stroking himself, his left thumb hooked into my mouth as it opened in a terrorized shriek. He stroked and moaned as my eyes widened. (Why do I always keep my eyes open when I am scared? Why can't I _close_ them like any other "normal" person?) He shoves the offending bulbous head into my mouth, stroking the shaft and moaning my name as he erupts. I gag. I want to die.

"Swallow it bitch." He grunts into my ear as he pinches my nose closed. "Swallow it or you'll choke on it, and suffocate." I decide I want to live, and I do as he says. I want to vomit, but I fight back to urge to retch. "Good girl. Now that you know who's in charge here, and what will happen, I think you might want to swallow the tube the next time I put it down your throat. Am I correct?" I nod vigorously, swallowing back the bile, trying to forget the awful taste and burn in my throat and stomach. It is like acid. Heartburn would be a welcome feeling. He gives me a minute to writhe in my abysmal distress.

He crouches in front of me, holding my face still, and making me look into his eyes. "You ready to swallow the tube like a good little girl now? If not, I can whip up another batch of the alternative. I have amazing stamina." I nod as he stands back up, showing me his length in his hand, swollen again already with his arousal. I can see it in his eyes, my pain and torment turn him on. I swallow quickly as he shoves that tubing into my nose again. As I regurgitate the frigid liquid, I can see the cloudy residue of his ejaculate being expelled from my stomach. I feel giddy for a moment, and give myself over to the nausea, heaving again and again until the liquid has run clear.

That was hours ago, and Red-eyes has repeated this cycle twice now. Everything seems to happen in threes with him. This was the third time, and I wonder… is it over? If it is, I can't help but think the question… What the fuck does he have planned next, and what is Victoria planning to do when he is finished with me?

More time passes. He rips the tube from my nose, and it hurts so damn bad, but now I am pissed off. I will not cry out. I refuse. I will not give him the satisfaction of another yelp. No, not a peep. I steel myself to stare into his eyes defiantly, my shoulders squaring. I feel a small bit of warmth deep inside of me. I have no idea where it comes from. This room is cold. His hard skin is cold. The liquid he has forced down my gullet is cold. I have no idea how I can feel any warmth. I have been here shivering and shaking for hours. This is new. I welcome it. I want to crawl inside this little space and revel in it, this odd sensation of heat. And my anger is beginning to overshadow my fear for the first time… ever? I know that I am frail, and weak. I know that this red-eyed bastard and that red-headed slag plan to kill me. I don't plan to go down without a fight. I make myself a promise… I will live to see their end. Somehow, I will bide my time until the answer presents itself.

**UUaAP**

**Leah POV**

Alice was in pain. Emotional agony turned inwards. She blamed herself for Bella's disappearance. Edward listened to her thoughts as she shut down, unable to speak in her despair and guilt. Alice's pain became Edward's pain. He no longer had the same romantic feeling towards Bella that he once did, I had heard and felt it in his thoughts, and touch. I knew that his soul belonged only to me. I was his, and he was mine. I also knew that he would never stop loving her. She was ingrained in his heart for all time. She may not have been his mate, but she _was_ the first stirring of genuine emotion for him. Edward would never stop caring for Bella. If something happened to her, I knew that a part of him would die. She was his best friend. The bonds they had forged would never die, but I was not jealous. I knew where I stood. I worried for my new friend, and… _maybe_ sister… as well.

It killed me to watch my love and his sister in such wretched states. I asked Edward to fill me in on how Alice felt she was at fault. Her memories tumbled into my head in a cyclonic haze. Her vision of Bella leaving La Push… alone… yesterday morning. Saw Bella dress in baggy sweats. That would never do for Alice, and it was clear that she was expecting Jake to go to Bella's house soon. She picked out a sexy nightie for her to dress in. Her vision darkened and turned cloudy in the way that it always had when a wolf entered the scene. She had called Billy and left him a message for Jake that she was with Bella, and would be there until he came on the scene.

What she didn't know, _couldn't have known_, was that Jacob was so tired after getting home that he crashed after Billy gave him the message. He was confident that Bella was taken care of. Alice had left Bella's house at 9:30p.m. Jacob told her he got to Billy's house after 11p.m., and didn't awaken until after 9a.m. today. When he got to Bella's house, the door was standing wide open, and he said that the stench of vampire was still heavy. It was a scent he didn't recognize. We were headed there to investigate… to see if the Cullens recognized the scent.

Jacob was a wreck. He was pacing in the living room, pulling at his hair, his eyes swollen and red-rimmed with tears. His voice was hoarse and raw from the sobbing. Alice crumpled into a heap at Jake's feet, incoherent apologies falling from her lips. Although he was beside himself, he knew that Alice, and _all_ of the Cullens loved Bella as their own. He knew that she would never knowingly allow harm to come to her.

As I approached the doorway, I was overwhelmed with the scent that invaded my nostrils. It was a scent I would _never_ forget. Ever. My knees buckled, and my chest constricted. I could not get enough air. I reached out toward Edward, as I struggled to take in enough oxygen. I could feel the air coming into my lungs, but it brought me little relief as panic inundated my senses. Without enough air, I couldn't speak. I tried to scream, but the only thing to escape me barely even sounded like a squeak. Edward spun at that small noise, locking eyes with me. He still couldn't hear my thoughts, but my mate knew me.

He saw the look in my eyes. He knew that my reaction had something to do with the strong scent of the vampire unknown to his family and himself. He closed the distance between us instantly, taking me into his arms, and speaking soothingly to me.

"It's okay baby, I am here. Breathe." He pleaded with me, rubbing gentle circles on my back, and rocking me gently. At his touch, I began to relax. My brain began to clear, and acknowledged the scent of my mate as he wrapped himself around me. The whole incident only lasted a few moments, but they felt like forever.

"It's him." I gasped. "It's him, how can this be?"

"Who? Who is it?" Edward's eyes probed mine, looking for the answer.

"It's impossible! I killed that bastard. How can it be him?" I questioned to no one in particular. I looked into Edward's eyes, they were desperate for an answer. "I took off his head." I choked, as Edward's eyes widened in understanding.

"He was never burned. Someone must have found him and saved him." Edward explained.

"What are you talking about? Who is '_he', _and when the hell did you take off a vampire's head, Leah?" Jacob demanded, storming out of the house.

"Leah tried to run away once, during a council meeting. She was raped by a vampire. She was able to escape, and thought she had killed him. Apparently this is his scent. He took Bella." Edward's voice faltered as a sob broke out of his chest. Alice wailed as Jasper wordlessly rocked her in his arms.

Jacob sank to his knees, his eyes were wild, and his hands ripped at his hair as his mouth fell open into a silent scream. I reached out, and wrapped my arms around him, and we quickly found ourselves surrounded by the entire Cullen family who had arrived in time to witness the revelation. Everyone sought to give comfort to Jacob in his grief.

Emmett and Carlisle began to follow the scent, trying to ascertain the direction that Bella had been taken. The trail ended at the street a few blocks away. Apparently she was taken in a vehicle, and there was no way of knowing what direction they traveled. It was overwhelming and discouraging as the realization set in… we had _nothing_ to go on. All any of us could do was pray. And we all did. Together, hand–in-hand, Carlisle led us in a prayer for the sweet, selfless girl who held a special place in all of our hearts.

"God Almighty, we come before you… broken, and humbled. We have no right to ask anything of you, and we acknowledge this. In your Devine goodness, Lord; we ask that you would have mercy on Isabella. Protect her and give her strength. God, we beg for insight. Lead us to her, Lord. We ask in your Holy Name. Amen."

**~UUaAP~**

Reviews are Welcome and Wanted,  
>I read them all and often respond.<p>

This week's Rec... It is dark, and angsty with EXTREMELY HAWT lemony goodness!

I Want It Painted Black by SaritaDreaming... Izzy **Black** *Bella* is a bad girl with issues. Edward Cullen is the vampire that brings it all down in an inner battle between darkness and light. He'll go to great lengths to melt her frozen heart. WINNER DARKELLA'S DARKEST TEMPTATIONS M themes/LEMONS


	27. Chapter 27 Explosive Consequences

**AN…** Once again, thank you to my pre-reader, prettyflour. YOU ROCK!

Soo.. this is a silly little tid-bit, and I just HAD to share it…  
>I JUST got home from a very long day out with the Hubs…<br>ostensibly for Valentine's Day. Guess what he decided to  
>take me to do today? …(wait for it)….<br>He took me to an indoor gun range so that I could shoot  
>a fully automatic rifle, but since he wanted to keep it a<br>secret, I didn't have two forms of identification with me,  
>so I had to take a rain check! LMAO… such a romantically<br>unique man I am married to! LOL He _DID_ however, take  
>me out for a lobster dinner, and then we ordered some<br>friggin' awesome ribs to take home and eat later… so  
>even though I didn't get a card or flowers, I <em>did<em> have an  
>amazing dinner. I hope that you all have a wonderful<br>Valentine's Day!

Now, on to more pressing issues… this chapter is my  
>shortest to date…. BUT…. I think that you are going to<br>love me! Oh, well, love me, or hate me… I really hope  
>that you will let me know. Reviews make me happy<br>like Edward in his birthday suit, sitting on my bed.  
>(Well, not that I have ever experienced THAT, but I<br>Do have a great imagination! ;))

Chapter 27

_**Explosive Consequences**_

**Leah POV**

Jacob and Alice were absolutely broken, and feeling destitute. The Cullens at large were extremely saddened. I had to get away from the depression. If they wanted to sit around, and mope, I was going to let them. I was sad too, but I would be damned if I was going to sit around on my hands hopelessly.

I began to form a plan. If the vampire that raped me had indeed been the one to take Bella, and was still nearby, I wondered if it was conceivable that he was in the same area that he was when I happened across him? I distinctly remembered where _that_ was. I grabbed Edward by the shoulders, and forced him to look into my eyes.

"Edward, there are two choices that can be made right now. We can all choose to sit around and mourn our lack of clues, and foresight, doing absolutely nothing… or we can take a chance and seek out this asshole, and at least _attempt_ to do _something_ pro-active to save Bella. Which will it be?"

"What can we do? Alice can't see anything, the trail ended at the road, obviously in a car. We have NO idea who this vampire is or where he might have taken her. We don't know what his motivation was. We are literally blind here." He sounded wounded and put out at having to answer my question. "What would you have me do? I know that there is the possibility that she is your sister, but don't make the mistake of thinking you are the only person here that cares!"

"I am NOT implying that. I am outright stating that you and your family have become so dependent on your 'gifts' that you have forgotten how to problem solve without them. I have never had a gift to rely on, just my gut to follow. Right now, my gut is telling me that we should seek this monster out… starting with his only _known_ location. I know that there was an old shack not too far from where I came across him. Maybe we should check it out. _Maybe_ that is where he stays. It's worth a shot." I shrugged.

"Leah, I think that you are brilliant." Carlisle smiled. (although the smile didn't quite reach his eyes) "We can't just sit here, completely impotent any longer. Your logic is sound." Then he turned and looked to Jasper. "Jasper, you have always been our go-to strategist… does this sound like a good idea to you?"

Jasper stared into the distance for a few moments before he spoke. I could almost see the wheels turning in his head. "Yes, it is a sound strategy. Even if it doesn't pan-out, it is better than sitting here with our thumbs up our asses. I do think however, that Alice and Esme should stay here, just in case…" his voice trailed off.

"It's settled, then. We will go with Leah, and check out the area where she ran into this… monster, and we will see if we can't find some trace of him. Who knows? Maybe we'll get lucky, and find more than just clues." Carlisle stated, resolved.

"It would take a miracle." Jacob and Edward stated at the same time.

"Isn't that what we all just prayed for?" Carlisle asked earnestly. Edward sighed, and Jacob shrugged. I looked Carlisle in the eyes and gave him a firm nod. We had indeed prayed, and asked for protection and guidance. Maybe God would answer us… for the first time in what felt like forever, I could feel faith inside of my bones. A part of me believed that this was not just a guess from my gut… a part of me was feeling like I was following the hand of Providence. For Bella's sake, I had to believe it.

"Right, let's get going, then. I ran hard for about an hour and a half that evening. We need to move." Jake and I phased, and we took off running, leaving Esme and Alice on the porch. Alice was still a wreck, in spite of all of the calm that Jasper had been throwing at her. I doubted that anything would change her current state, aside from seeing Bella returned to us safely. We all hoped for unharmed, but I don't think any of us really believed that this would be the case. None of us wanted to think about the many possibilities.

The seven of us took off, full tilt. Everyone was surprised when I was not only able to keep up with Edward, but I led the way… not just because I happened to know the way, as Edward and Emmett actually remembered the place I had described to them, but because I was actually running faster than him. I had always been the fastest werewolf, but now I was actually faster than the fastest vampire I knew. Had it not been for the terrible reason we were racing, it would have been completely exhilarating.

When I neared the area of that horrible experience from not long enough ago, I slowed. I was reluctant to actually set foot on the site of my disgrace. I phased and dressed at the river I had washed in as I waited for everyone else to catch up. Edward reached my side, and took my hand into his own.

"Thank you. I know it has to be hard for you to come back here." He kissed my forehead, then looked deeply into my eyes. "And thank you for setting us all straight back there. We needed a kick in the pants." He gave me a wry smile. I nodded in response, and rested my forehead against his while we waited for Jake and his family to catch up to us, which didn't take too long. Within five minutes, we were all assembled, deciding to spread out, and try to catch the scent of this unknown vampire as we headed in the direction of the old shack.

It didn't take long before Rose caught the scent. She got our attention, and we all descended on her location. Jake maintained his wolf form as we followed the trail. I stayed in my human form, clinging to my mate's hand. When the shack came into view, it was obvious that someone had been staying there for some time. The place had been fixed up quite a bit, and there was a generator running behind it. There were bars over blacked-out windows at one end of the small building. There had been enough repairs and construction that it was not really much of a "shack" any more. It looked more like a well-kept cabin, with a newly refurbished roof and porch, new windows, and a nicely re-built chimney. We made sure to stay low and out of sight as we approached.

Edward requested that I phase, he wanted me to be strong enough to defend myself if it came to that. I kissed him softly, and complied with his request, knowing that he was right… it would be much easier to defend myself as the wolf. As soon as I phased, I noticed it… there was a familiar charge in the air.

_Jake, do you feel it? The static? _I asked.

_Yes, I wonder where they are? They seem to be on the verge, but whoever it is-is fighting it._ He answered.

_I can hear the vampire's thoughts… he's got her. She looks different somehow… _Edward was filling me in on what he was hearing and seeing. Jake seemed surprised to find that he could communicate openly with Edward through our link. I was relieved to find that this had not changed, that I could still link with the wolves, and Edward… at least in this form.

_Is it just me, or does she seem taller?_ Jacob asked us as he looked at her through Edward's head, and the strange vampire's eyes. _What are those marks on her arms? Are those BITES?_ Jake asked, horrified.

_It appears so, yes… but it doesn't seem that she is changing. _Edward responded_._

_She's shaking really hard…. Wait! Do you smell that? You've got to be kidding me…_ Edward's eyes were opening wide, to the point that he looked like they could pop out of their sockets.

**~UUaAP~**

**Bella POV**

I don't know if it is day or night. I have lost all track of time. It _seems_ like Red-eyes has left me alone for a long time. I managed to sleep for a while. I woke up a little while ago. I am not sure why. I didn't feel right. Ironic, no? Like I should _expect_ to feel right at this moment? I have been systematically and sadistically tortured by a vampire. This is the second time that I have been trapped one on one with a vampire who gets his kicks out of causing me pain. I find that I _really_ hate vampires. (Cullens excluded.)

The warmth I noticed hours ago has spread. I have cramps and stiffness in my joints. My muscles ache as well. Something is really wrong. Based on my experience with James, and now Red-eyes, venom burns like fire, it doesn't just make you feel warm all over. Right now, the coolness of the air in the room is welcome. I hope I am not becoming ill with some sort of infection.

I stand up, and begin to stretch out my arms and legs. My muscles feel so tight. While reaching over my head with both arms, it hits me… everything appears off-kilter to me. Like the world around me has shifted somehow, I just can't put my finger on it. At least not until Red-eyes hears me stirring and re-enters the room. Then suddenly I notice the difference… he doesn't seem as tall to me anymore, and he smells… gross. Kind of like someone poured a bit of milk into a vat of honey and left it for a few days… sickeningly sweet, and incredibly soured. I am enraged at the sight of him, and find that I am trembling.

As my breathing increases, and my heart rate soars, my anger boils over. I _know_ what is coming. A small part of me fears it, I can't make this change. It is too much. Nothing in life will ever be the same. The bigger part of me is embracing this. I had been hoping for a way out, and now biology was calling. Maybe God has heard my prayers, and the cry of my heart. I don't know what triggered this, but as I watch the crimson eyes widen, a snarl breaks out of my lips, and I feel the atmosphere charge. There is a sudden shimmer, almost like the summertime heat rising off of the pavement… it is surrounding me, and in my hatred for this monster in front of me, I allow it to take me. I wanted to be strong… I wanted forever… as I burst open into another creature entirely, I realize that I _AM_ stronger, and I have the option of forever… and in this moment, Red-eyes has every reason to be looking at me in utter terror.

**~UUaAP~**

Reviews are Welcome and Wanted!  
>Reviews are the best way to show your love.<p>

This week's recommendations… I really liked both of these.  
>(then again, I really like A LOT of the stories I read here!)<p>

**High Anxiety** by EdwardsBloodType  
>Summary… Cute, trendy Bella returns home to escape the heartache of her past. She immediately befriends neighbors Jasper and Edward, bonding with them in the tree house out back. Bella and Edward discover they have more in common than they ever dreamed of. AH AU

**Animate Me** by Abstract Way  
>Summary… Professional animator Edward worships cartoon exec Bella from afar by day and draws her in his comic book late at night. When this Daffy Duck-loving geek comes face to face with his dream girl, will his fantasy world come to life?<p> 


	28. Chapter 28 All I Ever Wanted

**ANNOUNCEMENT... **I am about to begin another story.. but  
>please, don't freak out and think that I am going to neglect<br>this one! I hope that you will all read and enjoy the new one  
>too, but I am not going to be updating the new one as often<br>as this one, and the chapters are going to be considerably  
>shorter on average than theses.. think Cafano's "It's Always<br>the Quiet Ones"... I will not update the new one frequently  
>until this one is complete, but I really can't get this story out<br>of my head, so I am going to begin.

**AN...** Here you are! I hope you all like!  
>I looked at my traffic last night for the first time ever...<br>I was COMPLETELY shocked and elated to find that this story has  
>generated well over 17, 500 hits! WOW! I am humbled, truly.<br>I just want all of you who are reading this to know how incredibly  
>honored I am that you take the time to read this, and some of you<br>even leave me feedback... I FLUV you all!

To Prettyflour, my amazing pre-reader... I am so thankful for your  
>time and attention to the details that my eyes miss... I appreciate<br>you more than you know!

Disclaimer... I still own nothing. Bummer.

~UUaAP~

Chapter 27

_**All I Ever Wanted**_

**Bella POV**

As I exploded into a wolf, laying waste to my clothing, and the teenaged human I had been, I felt a surge of confidence and power like never before. I found myself excited as I glared across the room at Red Eyes. He seemed to be paralyzed with fear. I took a tentative step in his direction, and noticed him begin to turn. He was going to bolt for the door, I could see it, but I sprang across the room. I was elated to feel the strength in my legs. I turned mid-leap so that I could land facing him. I had not anticipated _just_ how strong this body could be, and I slammed into the door, hard. I held back a whimper at the pain in my hip from said door slamming,I already knew that I would heal quickly, so I brushed it off.

Red Eyes darted around the room, trying to figure a way to escape. I saw him turn his head towards the blackened windows, and I knew he was about to try to make a run for it. I also knew that we wolves were fast. I sprang again, only this time, I sprang _at_ him. I tackled him easily. I bared my teeth, and as his hands tried to take purchase of my chest, ostensibly to crush me, I sank them into his neck. I expected his skin to feel like marble… instead, somehow it felt malleable. My teeth sank into his flesh, and tore into his muscle. The sound was like the twisting of metal in a car crash, but the feel was something else altogether. I rotated my head as I sank my teeth further into his neck, and before I was prepared for it, his head separated from his body, rolling across the floor. It was almost anti-climactic. I was prepared for a fight. For the first time, I understood why Jacob always got offended when I tried to keep him away from Victoria.

Ah, Victoria. I wanted to track the bitch down right now. No more waiting. No more cowering in the corner in fear. No more worrying about my two families. Or was it just my famil_y_, singular? I began to walk towards the door, but found it difficult to coordinate with four feet. I hoped that I could get the hang of this quickly.

No sooner had that thought crossed my mind, then I heard feet approaching in the distance. Whoever was coming was coming quickly. I sprang across the room, and crouched, ready to defend myself. I sniffed at the air, and found familiar scents greeting my nose. It seemed odd to me that even though the scents were different that my human nose remembered, I immediately recognized them. I recognized the honey and lavender scent of Edward, and the evergreen and earth scent of Jacob. There were several others with them whose scents seemed familiar, but I couldn't quite distinguish. Realizing this, I relaxed my stance a little, and let out a howl, wanting to draw their attention to my location.

Before I had time to wonder just how close they were, the door broke open. I couldn't believe my eyes as Edward stepped back to allow Jacob through first. Seeing Jacob's wolf through my wolf's eyes was overwhelming. My heart felt like it would burst open wide. We stared at each other, nose to nose for what felt like forever. Then, I buried my nose into the fur of his neck. I was relieved beyond words to be near him. The part that was really strange to me was how he could not hear me. The pack shares each others' thoughts when they take the form of their wolves. Does this mean I am not a part of the pack? What am I?... I began to wonder.

I know I have to be something other. I should have phased once I started hanging out with the Cullens if I was going to become a wolf, right? I should have been hearing the thoughts of Jacob and Leah (who had also entered the room, along with Carlisle, Emmett, Rose, and Jasper) as soon as I made the change. I was met instead with silence. My whole life I had known that there was something wrong with my head… to me this had just served as more proof.

"I don't know, Jake." Edward said quietly, answering some question that I had not been privy to. "Bella, Jacob wants to know if you can hear him?"

I looked back and forth between Jacob and Edward before shaking my head. Jacob nudged my neck gently with his nose. I tried to walk, but got tangled up in my exceedingly long fur, and with my trouble coordinating my paws together, I fell down. I huffed out a breath in deep frustration.

"Can you phase back?" Edward was asking. I didn't know if it was his question, or a translation for Jake. Not that it mattered. I hadn't really tried to phase back, and I didn't know how. I shook my head once again. Jacob left the room suddenly, and I began to panic. I needed him near me.

"It is okay, Bella." Edward touched my shoulder gently, and began to speak soothingly to me. "He just went into another room to phase so that he can talk to you for himself." I sighed in relief. When he entered the room again, Jake wrapped his arms around me, hugging me gently to himself.

"Bella, everyone has a hard time phasing back at first… so don't freak out about it. The first thing you have to do is calm down. Take a few deep breaths, and relax." So, I did just that… I took a few really deep breaths, and gave myself over to the peaceful feeling of being wrapped in my Jake's arms, and his earthy scent. As I gave myself over to peace, I felt a strange tickling sensation in my chest. When I opened my eyes, I realized that I was myself again. It was just that easy. Just as I had given myself over to the intense anger and hatred, exploding into a wolf, giving myself over to peace and joy brought me back to myself. Jacob and Leah were amazed.

"Damn, Bella! It took me twelve hours to learn to phase back! You are a natural at this!" Leah exclaimed.

Jacob held me tightly to his chest, covering my nakedness. Jasper, Carlisle and Edward quickly turned their backs as Edward slipped off his shirt for me to wear. After I was covered, I stood up, and began to look around the room. I noticed that the body of Red eyes was missing, as were Emmett and Rose. Jacob noticed the puzzled expression of my face, and quickly explained that Rose and Emmett had take the body and were busy burning it outside.

"Bells, what did he do to you?" Jacob asked me point-blank.

"I don't really want to talk about it." I stated flatly, while sub-consciously rubbing the crescent shaped scars I knew ran up and down my arms under the shirt. Edward noticed, and grabbed one of my arms, slipping the sleeve up almost to my shoulder.

"Fucking bastard!" Jacob seethed, as everyone's eyes filled with comprehension and/or sympathy. Leah and Jake both had tears running down their faces, and Carlisle and Jasper both looked agonized as they began to look around the room, taking stock of the equipment lying around. I could see Carlisle piecing together what had been done to me. As comprehension of the magnitude of what I had suffered filled his eyes, his knees buckled beneath him. Edward's head snapped quickly in his direction as he took in Carlisle's thoughts, and was quickly in the same position… on his knees.

Edward looked broken. As I looked into his eyes, for the first time, what I saw was a friend and companion, not a man I "once loved"; just Edward… my dear friend. I walked over to him, and placed one hand on his shoulders, and the other under his chin to look into his eyes. He wrapped his arms around me, and held tightly me for a moment.

"As if you didn't already have enough reason to hate vampires." He whispered hoarsely.

"Not all vampires, Edward. I could never hate our family." I stated with conviction.

"You still consider me family?" he sounded surprised.

"You will always be my family, Edward!" I realized that this was the first time that he and I had really spoken to each other since I let Jacob carry me home that night. It felt like a lifetime ago, although it had only been a few days ago. I realized I couldn't really be sure how many, because I didn't even know what day or time of day it was. I could see natural light out in the next room. Suddenly I needed to get out of this place, and darted quickly outside. I was feeling so claustrophobic all at once that I thought I might go mad. It hit out of the blue, and I had to escape.

I rushed outside, trying to gulp in fresh air, only to be choked by noxious smelling plumes of a thick purple colored haze. I ran towards the woods as quickly as my legs would carry me, wanting to escape this place, and to breathe clean air. I was willing away a panic that threatened to overwhelm me. I had managed to live through God knows how many hours of torture, and never once was seized by panic. Fear? Yes. Pain, and desperation? Yes. Panic? Not a bit. So why now? It's over! He was dead. Red-eyes was dead, and would never harm me or anyone else again. I should been dancing by the pyre that was his rapidly burning corpse. I should have been elated.

Jacob and Carlise approached me slowly, their eyes filled with concern. Carlisle's arms were held up, palms facing outward, and Jacob was mirroring his stance.

"Bella, you are okay. It's over now." Carlisle's voice was gentle and strong. "Breathe deeply, Bella. Try to take slow, deep breaths. In through your nose, out through your mouth." His voice became melodic, as he chanted softly. "In through your nose, and out through your mouth" very slowly, so that I was breathing in through my nose and out through my mouth at the same pace that he said the words. I could feel a calming wave wash over me, as Jasper approached. Between his gift, Carlisle's words, and Jacob's presence (he was by then behind me, rubbing my back and shoulders gently), I was able to fend off the terror that had seized me from nowhere.

"Thank you." I said, truly filled with gratitude. "Thank you all so much." Tears began to fall from my eyes. I was emotionally drained. Everyone formed a large group-hug, with Jacob and I at the center.

"What day is it?" I asked, to no-one in particular.

"It is Thursday morning." Rose spoke for the first time, stepping towards me. She opened her arms, and her eyes held out her question. She wanted to hug me. I didn't know how to respond. She had always been the one person in my vampire family who didn't accept me. I stepped into her arms, and circled my own around her. I had always hoped that she and I could become friends.

"Bella, I am so sorry for how I have treated you. I want you to know, I have never disliked you." She said quietly.

"I am so glad to hear that, Rose. I have always wanted us to be friends." I told her, looking her directly in the eyes.

"I want us to be more than friends, Bella. You are a part of this family. I want us to be sisters." She said, the expression of her eyes lending to her honesty. I pulled her back into a tight hug again, nodding against her shoulder as answer.

"Someone should call Esme and Alice to let them know that we have found her." Jacob said pointedly.

"Yes, I should have thought of that already!" Carlisle said quickly, opening his phone and dialing speedily. He began relating the events at vampire speed, the words tumbling out of his mouth far too quickly to be comprehended by human ears.

Emmett suggested that we should head back home, and to me that was the best idea I had heard in some time. Jacob walked a few feet into the woods, and phased. Leah followed suit. When he returned to my side, Jake crouched low, indicating that I should climb on. I shook my head.

"No way!" I told him firmly with a smile. "I am a werewolf now. I intend to give you all a run for your money!"

~UUaAP~

Reviews are WELCOME and WANTED...  
>reviews show me your love!<p>

This week, I recommend...

**Bribie** » by WiddleWombat Summary: Bella finds true love with handsome Aussie Edward when she moves to a tropical Australian island to be with her pregnant mother. Problem is he is the island's most eligible bachelor and Bella is a magnet for trouble. M for lemons. Fully Beta'd

**Distracted** » by Woahnow SUmmary: Bella Swan's thoughts are elsewhere in her English lesson and the detention Mr. Cullen gives her doesn't turn out quite as intended. Very lemony, all human, Edward x Bella. I advise you only to read this if you are over 18


	29. Chapter 29 What Am I?

**AN...**I know, I know! I'm sory this took so long to update, but BONUS..  
>I will be posting the next chapter tomorrow evening, and I am over<br>half way through the NEXT chapter.. *fingers crossed* I hope to have  
>this story completed before the month is out.<p>

A big thank you to my wonderful pre-reader, Prettyflour. I sented you  
>two chappies instead of one. You rock my socks off, and I Flove you<br>very much!

Disclaimer.. I own nothing of Twilight. I just play with Stepehenie's  
>characters, and get them into big trouble!<p>

Chapter 29

What _Am _I?

Bella POV

It took the better part of an hour for Leah and Jacob to teach me how to walk and run as the wolf. Edward had to communicate the one sided conversation. It was a complex mess, learning how Leah could hear Edward's thoughts, but he could no longer hear hers. Leah could hear Jacob's thoughts while in her wolf form, and he could hear hers, so since Edward could hear Jacob's thoughts, he was able to communicate with Leah telepathically, through Jacob. And me? Even as a wolf, I was a mental mute. What a mind-fuck!

Learning to walk and run as a wolf would most likely have been made easier had I allowed Leah and/or Rosalie to cut off my hair. Emmett laughed at me, calling me a "Wooly Weremath", seeing as my fur/hair was so long, and literally drug on the ground. Admittedly, it did make it more difficult to perpetuate motion, but I was resolute. I discovered quickly that I had better control of my phasing than even Jacob had. I was already able to phase back and forth on demand. Jacob and Leah kept reminding me that the true test would come the next time somebody pissed me off. _Only then_, they told me, would we truly see the depth of my control. (I had no doubts that I would maintain control, I could feel my dominance over the beast within.)

The run back to Forks became more of a race. I left Carlisle, Rosalie, and Emmett behind quickly, while maintaining pace rather easily with Jasper and Jacob. After a while, I decided to really push myself, and found that I was closing the gap between myself and Leah and Edward. I began to dig in with my hind paws, and really stretch out with the front. I was amazed to find that my mind could so easily keep up with the scenery that flew by, and that I had no reason for fear running into a tree. My mind seemed to be working at lightning speeds, while I coached myself into greater and faster speeds I was also keeping track of the path my feet would take. There was also an inner dialogue taking place somewhere inside of me.

_Why am I just now becoming a wolf? Why didn't this happen when I first met the Cullens?_

_Yeah, then.. or why not when you learned about the wolves? Shouldn't proximity have cinched it?_

_Yes, but it is the vampire's proximity that brings out the wolf, not another wolf!_

_Good point, but you were always safe with the Cullens, and you knew it, maybe it is the fear of the _**unknown**_ vampire that brought it about?_

_But he _**BIT**_ me!_ _He bit me before I phased, and I know he sucked out the venom… but maybe that had _something_ to do with the change? Surely after so many bites, there had to be some sort of reaction. I think that it has something to do with all of the venom he pumped into me._

_Yeah, well, by that logic, you should be on the floor, writhing in the fiery depths of a vampiric transformation, right?_

_I don't know... and _**why**_ am I holding this.. argument/discussion? _

_You're asking _**me**_? _

_Damn, I am fucked._

I had spent enough time with the wolf-pack to know that phasing didn't affect their mental capacities. It didn't make their minds any faster. My mind was somehow faster, and capable of so much more. I began ticking off reasons why I thought this…

_I am holding a conversation in my head… __**with myself**__ and making faintly humorous and sound arguments for both sides._

_I know that I am gaining on Edward and Leah, because I am processing things differently with my sense of smell, and I know that their trail is much fresher than it was a few miles back, therefore I am gaining. _

_Therefore, my sense of smell is stronger, and more defined._

_My mind is processing my new sense of smell easily as I think other thoughts._

_I am drawing from memory to coach myself on running faster. I am remembering conversations, both held and overheard about physical education… a topic I don't recall ever having paid any attention to… weird._

_I am able to run in a coordinated fashion in spite of all of my hair that __**should**__ be tangling around my feet, and causing me to trip, so some part of my mind is being mindful of both foot placement, and where my hair is in relation to my feet._

_I am keeping track of my surroundings, and not running head-long into quickly approaching objects._

_I am noticing woodland creatures and birds around me. Oooh, and the beautiful orchids._

I was finally close enough to Edward and Leah that I could hear their foot falls in the distance. I knew that if I was hearing them, chances were good that they were hearing me as well. I went all-out. My lungs and legs were burning with the strain, but I pressed harder, dug deeper, and strode longer. My tongue lolled out of my mouth as I concentrated on my speed, and as I blew past them, I could not contain my glee.

I finally slowed my pace, realizing that I was not truly sure where I was in relation to Forks. I stopped and fell onto my back in a fit of giggles and panting while Edward and Leah approached me, laughing right along with me.

"Wow, Bella! I never would have believed that you would enjoy reaching those speeds!" Edward's eyes were amazed, but his teasing was obvious in his voice.

I nodded my head. It was amazing to think that just over a year ago, I had nearly passed out after riding on Edward's back for the first time. Now, I was not only exhilarated at the speeds I had just been traveling, but it was ME that was running. I was in awe at the amount of change that can occur within so short a time frame.

I found myself looking at Leah hard. I stared into her eyes, searching for answers that I knew she could not provide for me right now. Was she my sister? Why could I not tie into her thoughts now that I was a wolf? Why had she imprinted on Edward? What about the importance of fertility with regards to a wolf imprint? I had heard discussions, and knew that this was the most commonly held theory regarding Sam's imprint on Emily, that she would be more capable genetically of producing a strong heir to the wolf gene, or some such non-sense. Seemed to me that Leah's already _being_ a wolf should have cinched that claim. I internally shrugged off those thoughts, as somewhere in my mind, a panic began to set in. What if Jacob imprints on someone? What if I do? I have already given myself to him body and soul. I cannot imagine how empty it would make me feel if his heart suddenly belonged to anyone but me.

I had to shake off that train of thought. The others were catching up, including Jake. I could not afford to be thinking about such things. He was here beside me right now. He was mine right now, and that was all that mattered.

As Jake approached me, his tongue hanging out of the side of his mouth in a wolf-y grin, I touched my nose to his. When I looked into his eyes, I could truly see his beautiful soul. The man that I loved shined out from them, and wrapped me in his warmth. I tried to communicate with him through my eyes. I had no idea how much further we had to travel. He seemed to understand, and looked over at Edward.

"Jake wants to know what your question is. Are you asking how far we are from home?"

I nodded my head once. I appreciated just how well Jake knew me in that moment. He could read my eyes like a book.

"We have only about ten minutes of walking ahead of us, and we will be in La Push."

My head spun back to Edward in confusion and astonishment. All I could think for a moment was, _Who the hell has been __**walking**__?_

"Yes, Bella! We are that close to home now." Edward assured me.

I shook my head. Jacob nuzzled my neck, and whined. I knew that he wanted desperately to communicate with me. As I stared back at him, I tried to fill my eyes with what I was incapable of saying in this form. I tried to reassure him of my love and devotion with a glance. Something about him had always called to me. There had always been this invisible tether that held us together, in spite of many obstacles. Somewhere inside of my mind, a thought formed that began to grow and blossom. It radiated warmth and assurance throughout my heart.

_Maybe, _I thought,_ just maybe Jacob __**did **__imprint on me. Maybe he imprinted long before the wolf was involved. Maybe that day on the beach, the boy fell in love with the girl at first sight. And maybe, __**just maybe**__, it was strong enough even then to override the supernatural world around us. _

Three heads turned towards me at once. Their eyes reflecting shock, amusement, and happiness. I cocked my head to one side.

_Did I hear that right?_ Jacob's voice filled my mind. _It's an interesting theory! I never thought of that. How are you doing this?_

_How did you do that? _Edward's voice sounded perplexed.

_Welcome to the pack!_ Leah's happy voice was filled with warmth and sincerity.

In truth, I was not sure exactly how I had done it. I knew that a part of my mind somewhere felt like it bent, and expanded. It was like using a muscle for the first time. It was one I didn't know existed. As quickly as the voices filled my head, they faded into silence.

"Bella, can you do that again?" Edward's eyes were bulging.

"Do what again? What did we miss?" Carlisle asked.

"The three of us just heard Bella's thoughts." Edward explained.

"Well, that is interesting indeed." Carlisle mused softly. "It appears that Bella's gift has begun to manifest."

"Bella, Jacob asked me to tell you that he is going to phase, and that he would like you to as well. He wants an open dialogue." Edward explained to me as Jacob trotted into some dense underbrush. I quickly followed suit, and slipped back into the shirt that Edward had given me.

"What do you mean my 'gift' has begun to manifest'?" I asked Carlisle as I stepped out from the thicket. Thistles and thorns dig at my skin and clung to me, but I hardly noticed. What I _did_ notice was Jacob staring at my legs unabashedly with a smirk on his face.

"What do you think you're looking at, buddy? Eyes up here!' I tried to sound stern, and to hide my grin behind my hand which I pretended to be rubbing my nose with.

"Bella! While I do enjoy ogling you, that isn't what I was doing." Jacob stated flatly. "I was watching how quickly your scratches were healing."

"Oh!" I blushed. "I'm sorry. I just thought…" I decided not to finish that statement. It was obvious what I thought he had been up to.

Carlisle approached me swiftly. "May I?" He asked, reaching towards my leg. I nodded with a roll of my eyes, and a smile on my face. I knew the expression on his face. The doctor was in…

"Interesting." Carlisle reflected as he wiped some of the still fresh blood from my instantly healed thigh. He tested the viscosity and scent, rubbing it between his thumb and fingers, and smelling deeply. Then he held his fingers out toward Edward who also took in the scent. Both had an odd look in their eyes.

Leah stepped out from behind the same thicket, having phased back herself. She too was snagged on the thorns and thistles. As she approached Edward's side, he stooped and wiped some blood off of her leg, and mimicking Carlisle's actions he rubbed it between fingers and thumbs, and inhaled.

"Interesting." He cocked a brow at his father, nodding his head at a question only he had been privy to.

"Yeah, we _all_ get that it is interesting. What we don't get is what, or why!" my tone dripped with sarcasm.

"Your blood has the viscosity and sweetness of venom, as does Leah's." Carlisle stated openly.

"Why would Leah's blood… who bit you?" I was worried and horrified as I looked at her. Edward hung his head, and Leah blushed as she reached for his hand while looking at her feet.

"Oh." I gasped. "OH! Wow! Um… so…. Yeah." I stuttered, and blushed a little bit myself. "Is that what Alice saw? Wait... Alice! She said that Jacob was going to be there, but it wasn't! It was… it was that bastard at the door! He took me. Why didn't she see him?"

"She didn't know him. None of us did. I think that her vision of your future went blank when he took you because his decision to take you turned you into a wolf. You know she can't see the wolves." Edward explained.

"But she has seen me!" Leah interjected.

"I think that is because you are no longer just a wolf. You are something other. Something entirely new and unheard of." Carlisle explained. "You and Bella both."

"And what exactly is that? How did I become a wolf though a vampire bite anyhow?" I seethed.

"I have done lots of testing of your blood, Bella. Your ability to block the mental powers of the Volturi and Edward has always intrigued me. I know that you had perfectly normal DNA structure. Twenty-three chromosomes. Vampires and werewolves both have 24 chromosomes. I suspect that as soon as a twenty-forth chromosome appeared in your system, it triggered the latent wolf gene. And as much as he tried to suck out the venom, he was not able to retrieve it all from your blood. Since you already had exposure to venom courtesy of James, your system didn't get thrown into anaphylaxis."

"Anaphylaxis? Why would venom throw me into an allergic reaction?"

"The wolves are allergic to our venom. Leah was lucky that we got medicine into her system in time." Carlisle's voice seemed strained.

"What's wrong Carlisle?" Leah grasped for Carlisle's hand with a look of concern on her face.

"I'm just grateful that I didn't lose two daughters to the same thing within the last forty-eight hours. I have been racking my brain, trying to find answers. I'm relieved that neither of you died, and so ashamed of the vile things that my kind did to you, Bella. And how the simple act of making love with Edward nearly ended you, Leah." Carlisle's compassion and despair seemed to have him at a breaking point.

"Carlisle, that _son of a bitch_ was most certainly **not** 'your kind'." I used my fingers as quotation marks as I spoke. "You are the kindest, most compassionate, most honorable man I have ever known. The fact that he was a member of your _species_, does not make you _anything_ like him!"

"Carlisle, I would go through it all again. I love Edward with my whole being. I have no regrets about making love to your son. I welcome whatever changes occur. I don't know what Bella and I can be classified as at this point, but I assure you…" she reached for my hand. "I know I speak for both of us when I say that we love you. We love this family, and we harbor no blame towards any of you."

~UUaAP~

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	30. Chapter 30 A Simple Matter of Mathemati

**An...**Okay, here it is, as promised! I hope you all like it.  
><strong>Lemony<strong> **Goodness inside.**

Chapter 30

**A Simple Matter of Mathematics**

Leah POV

As we walked through the door of my house, two things instantly stood out to me. First, Seth was not sulking, instead he was _talking_ to _Charlie._ Second, my mother was cooking, I could smell the mouthwatering aroma of her home made fried bread. She only ever cooked her fried bread when she was happy. I took Edward's hand and squeezed it tightly.

"Well, well… Look who decided it was time to come home." Charlie grumbled.

"It's been a long…. day and a half, Charlie." I sighed deeply.

"You look pale, kiddo. You feeling okay?" Charlie's voice sounded worried.

"I'm fine." I assured him. "Pale? Really?" Charlie and Seth nodded. I looked at Edward, who also acquiesced. I went straight to the bathroom, and looked in the mirror for the first time since Edward and I made love. I was surprised by the change I saw in my appearance. My irises, once deep, and rich brown were now a strange hue of brick, still brown enough to pass for human, but much to red to be "normal". My skin, though still tan, had become much paler. It reminded me of the color of a newborn Quileute baby. It was obvious in the undertones of my skin that I was Native American, but my skin was no longer a strong copper tone, it was more of a mild buff color. This made the deep black of my hair stand out all the more, and accentuated the inherent almost-blue undertone of all black hair. As I looked more closely, I could see that my skin was smoother, and my features more pronounced than before.

Taking in these changes, I suddenly felt mentally exhausted. I figured that a warm shower, and a short nap before supper would help with that. I turned on the water, and adjusted the water temperature, enjoying the feel against my hand. I stripped off the very simple, but pretty dress that Rosalie had given me to wear at the hospital, stepped under the stream of hot water, and groaned as it washed away the grime and stress of the past two days. There was only one thing that I could think of that might be more relaxing than the loveliness of the shower. I reached into my mind, and fought to open the door to my thoughts, begging Edward to hear me once again. The connection to his mind was something I craved.

_Hear me._ I begged, pressing my forehead against the plastic wall of the shower enclosure.

_Leah?_ Edward's voice rang out clear in my mind. I decided to try again.

_Can you hear me? Am I getting through?_

_I have missed your voice._ I heard the sound of relief and happiness in Edward's mind.

_Can you come to me?_

I heard a click at the bathroom door, and within seconds, I felt arms wrapping themselves around my waist. I leaned back against Edward's strong chest, and relaxed as his lips brushed against my neck. I breathed in his sweet scent, and sighed heavily, reaching one hand up and into his beautiful henna locks. He held one hand firmly against my abdomen while the other began to fondle my breasts.

_You're so beautiful, my love._

_Show me. _I pleaded as his lips captured my mouth.

_We have to be quiet._

I looked into his eyes with a salacious grin. _You think they don't already know what we're up to?_

_Charlie and Sue do, but I don't think we need to scar Seth by letting him hear you screaming my name._

_What if it is you that screams out in pleasure?_ I asked as I slid a hand behind me to grasp his erection. He sucked in air between clenched teeth as I stroked his length, and bucked his hips against my hand.

_How about if we just keep on kissing, and swallow _each other's_ cries?_

I nodded my head slightly, and thrust my tongue deeply into his mouth, tasting his sweet flavor.

_Touch me Edward. _I pleaded silently as I pushed his hand down the plains of my stomach towards the apex of my thighs, where I was aching for his touch.

_Your wish._ He slid his fingers into my folds. _My command._

An involuntary shudder ran up my spine as he began to stroke my sensitive flesh, pressing gently against my clit with each pass, and working his way gently into my opening with two fingers. He buried them deep inside of me, and pressed the heel of his hand against my clit as we continued to kiss each other deeply, our tongues dancing and tasting, our bodies racing towards the precipice of pleasure.

I opened my legs further, stepping one foot on the edge of the tub, and leaned back more heavily into him as I worked booth of my hands behind us to stroke and massage him. He held me tightly against himself, and massaged my breasts, pinching and pulling at my nipples. It was a sweet torture that I never wanted to come to an end.

He began to curl his fingers gently inside of me as he plunged them into me over and over, rubbing gently against that secret spot of pleasure, and bringing me closer to the edge.

_Edward, it's so good. What you do to me. I'm so close._

My breath was becoming ragged, and heavy. Our mouths were pressed against each other, but we were too caught up in the sensations to remember to kiss, until I began to mewl into his mouth. My hips began to gyrate against his hand, and I squeezed tightly around his shaft as my orgasm exploded though me. His mouth swallowed my cries of ecstasy as he bucked his hips wildly into my eager hands.

I turned around, and watched as I stroked his beautiful cock. His quiet grunting let me know that he was close. I captured his mouth with my own, and pressed myself against him, so that my hand was pressed between us as I pleasured him. Each time my hand squeezed at the base, the head would press forward into my belly. I gently cupped and began to massage his balls as he sped towards release.

_Fuck baby. It's so, ah, baby... I'm going to cum!_

Edward grunted and twitched as he spewed against my hand and stomach. I muted his soft sounds as I kissed him deeply, sucking his tongue and massaging it with my own. We clung tightly to each other, and kissed at each other's necks and shoulders as our panting became sighing, and our heart rates returned to normal.

We washed each other gently and lovingly, and then quickly as the water began to cool off. Edward wrapped me in a towel and dried me off tenderly. I grabbed another towel and did the same for him. He dressed quickly, then picked me up and ran into my bedroom, dropping me onto the bed. I laughed as I bounced against the mattress.

_What was that for?_ He shrugged, but the mischief in his eyes was apparent. _You are SO seventeen!_ I giggled.

Edward lay down beside me, and turned me onto my side so that he could spoon against me. He held me tightly, and brushed wet strands of hair away from my face and neck.

_Sleep, baby. You must be exhausted._

_I'm not. _

_You've been through the wringer the last two days, and haven't had a chance to rest. You really should try to sleep._ He insisted.

_Fine, I'll try._ I submitted.

We lay there quietly for about fifteen minutes with him humming his gentle aria in my ear, and running his hands through my hair. My body began to relax, and I drifted off into a very light sleep. After another twenty minutes, my eyes opened. I awoke from my cat-nap fully refreshed and energized. My body felt like I had had a full nights' sleep.

Edward protested that I could not possibly have had enough sleep, and tried to get me to lay back down, but I was absolutely wide awake, and refreshed. After a few minutes of discussion, I huffed, and got out of bed. I went to my dresser, and began to pull out underwear which I slipped on quickly before walking to my closet. Edward's eyes never left me, taking in every motion I made.

_What?_ I asked him, annoyed at his stare.

_I love watching you. I think you should still be asleep… and naked! _He wagged his eyebrows at me. _But I love to watch you move. _I blushed and tried to hide my smile._ Don't hide from me, beautiful! You are so graceful._

_Thank you. I will take your lovely compliment, but you have to stop trying to tell me how I feel. I am fine. As a matter of fact, I feel more refreshed than I have in a very long time, so stop worrying!_

_It just seems odd to me that you aren't utterly spent._

_Edward, I don't need to be a vampire to figure it out. You should have figured it out already._

_Figured what out? _ I smiled at how obtuse he was being.

_Edward, think about it. I have undergone several changes since Tuesday evening. Vampires don't need sleep, right? So, while I am not completely a vampire, we already know that many things changed in my body. I think I don't require as much sleep now. _

Edward rolled his eyes, and pressed his face into my pillow.

_I feel like such an idiot! You're right. I should have figured that out._

I finished dressing, pulling a pair of worn dark wash jeans, a grey t-shirt and a grey hooded sweatshirt with black tribal patterns all across the back. I slipped on a pair of socks and my black converse shoes just as my mother called to us that dinner was ready.

I walked into the kitchen and sat at my usual seat by the wall. I watched as Charlie helped Mom to set dinner out on the table. Seth was just finishing setting utensils at each plate.

"Hey kiddo, how was your day?" I pulled him into a side hug. Edward made his excuses to Charlie and Mom, and left to help Carlisle with the mountain of medical paperwork that he was sifting through.

"I'm okay. Charlie and I talked a lot yesterday and this morning." Seth blew out a huff of air before continuing. "He explained to me what happened. I guess dad.. I mean Harry always kind of knew about me. It's weird, and hard to wrap my head around. I guess there are worse things I can think of than Charlie being my dad."

"Hopefully someday I'll make you as proud to call me Dad as I am already to call you son." Charlie said softly, placing his hand on Seth's shoulder.

"Well, as long as the topic is breeched, I have a question for you, Mom." I looked her in the eye, trying to judge her strength to hold this conversation. She stared back at me with her head held high, and her shoulders set.

"Go ahead, babygirl. I am done with the falling apart bullshit. Ask away." Her voice sounded as strong and sure as I had ever known her to be.

"Did you lie to Charlie?" I asked her bluntly.

"About what?" she asked with earnest eyes.

"Me."

"Carlisle told us he did blood work so, I guess we'll know soon enough."

"Not good enough. I think you already know." I hedged. "Tell me, and I truly a Clearwater, or am I a Swan?" Mom sighed deeply.

"In my heart, I believe you are a Swan. I was never really sure, so I went along with Harry, because I didn't want to tie Charlie down. Harry never had much ambition beyond marrying me, opening a bait and tackle shop, and fishing. Charlie had dreams. He always wanted to go to school, and join law enforcement. I knew that having a baby and a wife could keep him from finishing school. I couldn't let that happen, so I told everyone that you were definitely Harry's child. I even convinced myself that I believed it after a while."

"Did you ever love Harry?"

"Yes, I did. I loved him for accepting you and Seth as his own. Especially Seth, since he knew damn well that he couldn't be the father. I loved him for trying for as long as he did to be enough for me. I always felt badly that I didn't love him as much as he deserved, but I cared for him. I tried to be what he needed."

"What leads you to believe that I am Charlie's kid?"

"Mathematics... Seth, if you don't want to hear this, you can take your dinner into the living room." Mom gave him a moment to decide before taking the discussion any further.

"No. I think I am grown up enough to hear the whole truth too. I'm not a baby." Seth sat up taller, squared his shoulders.

"Okay." Mom nodded. "I was seventeen. Harry and I had sex on graduation night, and then two times after that. The last time was the same night that I agreed to meet Charlie at First Beach. I didn't have sex with Harry again until three days after the wedding. When I discovered I was pregnant, I had been with Charlie every night for over five weeks, except for the four days of my period, which was a week later. They told me that I was two to three weeks pregnant. I only even tested because I was so very regular with my cycle, and I had woken up nauseas for three of the four days I was late when I went to see Dr. Gerandy. So, by the math, it would seem that you are Charlie's daughter. But you were born nearly a month premature and I was told that you were rather large for your point of gestation, so there has always been a shadow of a doubt. The blood work will give us the answers."

I looked Charlie in the eye. There had always been a special bond between us.

"What do you think, Charlie? Do you think that you are my father?"

"I have loved you since the first time I held you. You were just over two years old, and I melted. You wrapped me around your little fingers, and held my heart ever since. I would be proud to find out that I am your father, but I want to be here for you no matter what the truth."

Jacob and Bella walked into the kitchen hand-in-hand just then. I could tell that Bella had not heard all of the conversation by the curious look on her face. Charlie jumped up, and gave her a quick hug, but froze. He held her by the shoulders at arms' length, and stared.

"No fucking way!" he yelled. "What in the _HELL_ happened in the last thirty hours?"

"Dad?" Bella hedged.

"Don't act like that. First Leah comes home pale, and cool to the touch, and side steps my comments about it, and now you come home easily three inches taller, paler than ever, and just as cool to the touch as she is… And what the FUCK?" he grabbed her arm, staring at the bite marks marring her skin. He was raging, his breath coming in short, ragged pants.

"Dad, it's okay, I'm alright. Yes, I phased today." Bella's voice was calm.

"You are a wolf now too?" Charlie's voice sounded broken.

"Sit back down, dad." Bella demanded. Charlie went into another room.

"I think I have lost my appetite." He called living room. "When you are done, I want a family meeting in here. I want answers."

Seth and Jacob were the only ones with enough appetite to eat a meal. They helped themselves to generous portions of the spread that Mom had prepared, and sat down to eat. I grabbed a large piece of fried bread and headed into the living room. Bella followed suit.

"This bread is delicious, Sue." Bella gushed.

"Thank you, sweetie. It's what I have always made when I am happy, and after getting all of the truth out, and crying for a bit, I feel so much better. It feels wonderful to have everything off of my chest. I have never felt lighter, or free-er than now."

Bella and I both smiled with mom, grateful that she was doing so much better than she was when we left.

"So, girls… what happened to you two? We know that Bella phased, but that does not explain the bites, or the palor, or the temperature for either of you. So spill."

"Mom, I think Charlie wanted to do this as a family?"

"The boys can hear everything just fine from where they are, and if they want to bring their food in here, they can. I suspect that Jake already knows everything anyhow. Right, Jake?"

"Yes, Sue. I know what happened." He yelled from the kitchen.

"Good. Now it is our turn." Mom demanded.

~UUaAP~

Bella POV

"Holy shit! You were kidnapped, and nobody thought to call me?" Charlie's face was practically purple, and I was worried that the veins in his neck and forehead might burst.

"Calm down, Ch-Dad!" I exclaimed.

"Charlie, we chose not to call you because you already had so much on your plate with Mom and Seth, and since we knew that it was a vampire who had taken her, we were concerned that your being involved in finding her might put you in danger." Leah tried to assure him.

"My _baby girl_ was in danger! Do you think I would have been concerned about myself?"

"Dad! It's not like that! Everyone knows how much you love me, but let's be realistic. It was a three hour run home for all of us, and we run faster than a car! Seriously, what could you have done that they didn't do?" I yelled.

"I could have prayed for my daughter." Charlie spat venomously.

"We did that too, Charlie. When we found that she was put into a car, and met our first dead-end, we did _just_ that. Carlisle led us in prayer. He loves Bella and I like daughters too. No one was trying to take away your rights as a father, we were all looking out for you."

"I appreciate the sentiment, but know this…" Charlie glared across the room at Jacob. "Hear this _boy!_ If there is ever, and I mean _ever_ another 'situation' involving any of my children, I am to be informed. Do you got it?" Jacob nodded, his eyes wide.

"Yes sir."

"Good. I'm going to be telling the same thing to Carlisle, and Edward." Charlie turned to look at Leah. "And you! Do I need to have the same conversation with you that I did with Jake and Bella? If his venom is going to do damage to you, then don't expose yourself to it!"

"Charlie, I think whatever damage is going to be done is done. Carlisle assures us that the danger of anaphylaxis is past. My blood is already partly venom. There is no danger anymore. And… before you can go getting angry with Edward, you have to know that we had _NO_ idea, _either_ of us, that there was a danger involved." Leah looked past Charlie as she spoke, unable to meet his eyes.

"Of course not!" I chimed in, hoping to help gloss over her obvious lie. Everyone stood quietly for a moment.

"So, what does this classify you two as now?" Seth blurted curiously.

"Hell if I know!" Leah laughed.

"You mean, you're the spawn of an elephant and a rhinoceros?" Seth broke out into a fit of laughter.

"Yes, Seth.. that's it _exactly_!" I giggled. Everyone laughed. It was the perfect tension breaker, silly as it was.

**~UUaAP~**


	31. Chapter 31 Hungering for More

**AN...** FINALLY! I am so sorry for the delay folks!  
>I DID post this, then pulled it, and re-wrote the majority of it,<br>and it is now nearly double it's original length. I hope you all  
>consider it worth the wait!<p>

A HUGE THANK YOU to my pre-rewader Prettyflour for proofing  
>this monster twice! You rock, love!<p>

**WARNING!** Huge Lemon ahead... my most graphic thus far,  
>(and Prettyfloour seems to think it's my hottest! ;) SO, if you<br>are easily offended by sexual content, you may want to skip  
>through the middle portion. Just Sayin'!<p>

**~~..*..~~**

Chapter 31

_Hungering for More_

**Bella POV **

Leah and Edward wanted to get back to her mother, and Seth. The rest of us went to my house to see Alice and Esme. It was such a relief to be home. It had only been a little more than twenty-four hours, but it felt like an eternity since Red-eyes came and carried me away. It was a welcome sight to see my second mother, and chosen sister waiting on the stoop for out arrival.

Alice ran to me, and wrapped her arms and legs around me, which was an uncharacteristically exuberant greeting. I found that with my new height, and somewhat stronger body, she didn't seem so unyielding or frigid. I laughed at her display, and when I sat her onto the ground, I was amazed by how tiny she truly seemed. I had always found her to be spritely, but now instead of an inch or two, she was nearly five inches shorter than I. What a difference a day makes.

"I'm so glad you're safe." She breathed out at last. "I'm so sorry, Bella. I'm so sorry."

"There's nothing for you to be sorry for! You didn't do anything wrong." I pulled her back into a tight embrace, willing her to feel the truth, that I harbored no ill feelings or blame.

"But if I hadn't…"

"STOP... Enough! I will not have my bubbly Alice turning all Edward on me. Emo does not suit you very well, got it?"

"But you don't under.." I put my hand over her mouth.

"Mary Alice Brandon Whitlock Cullen!" My voice was loud and firm. Everyone witnessing the exchange began to giggle. "If you do not cease in this pathetic display of apologetic nonsense, I will _not_ allow you to take me shopping for my much needed new wardrobe." Her eyes grew round as saucers, and I felt her lips turn upwards against my hand, which I promptly withdrew.

"Really?"She squeaked, beginning to bounce.

"Yes, really!" I assured her. "There are conditions!" I saw her eyes cloud over in a momentary vision.

"Yes, I know, more denim than silk. There will be t-shirts and sweats, and you have final say over every item. But… skirts, and _dresses_, and _**heels**_? Really?" I saw excitement flashing in her beautiful saffron eyes.

"Heels? I'm going to let you buy me _heels?_"

"You don't realize how very sure-footed, and graceful you've become. By the time we go shopping, you will have seen it for yourself. It isn't just when you're the wolf either, you know!"

Esme approached me, and wrapped her arms tightly around me. She rocked me from side to side, and pressed her hand against the back of my head before running it down the length of my hair in a simple, and loving motherly gesture that brought tears to my eyes.

"I was so worried. I thought we'd lost you. I haven't felt such grief since... " She whispered.

"I'm okay, Esme. I'm sorry you were worried." I leaned fully into her embrace, and hugged her back with all of my strength.

"I love you, Bella. You are my daughter, and that will never change." There was a quiet ferocity to her voice.

"You're right. It won't. I don't ever plan to stop phasing. I want to live forever with my family." I assured her.

"Give it a hundred years. You might find that growing old will become a welcome idea." Carlisle chimed in, as he extricated his wife from my arms to wrap her into a tender embrace of his own.

Alice and Jasper were standing off to the side, wrapped in their own little bubble of greeting and adoration. I knew that their separation, even for the short time he was gone had been difficult for them. My eyes sought out Emmett and Rosalie. He was leaned against the car, and she was leaning against him, the back of her head rested against his chest, and his chin against the top of her head, while his arms engulfed her. They were watching the rest of us, seemingly enjoying the tranquility of our happy reunion.

"Well, then. Bella, Jacob." Carlisle extended his hand towards us, and Jake grasped it tightly.

"Thank you, Carlisle. For everything." He said sincerely. "Thank you all for helping to bring her home to me."

"She's special, this one." Carlisle looked Jacob deeply in the eyes. "Treat her like the special woman that she is." His voice took on a distinctly fatherly tone. I began to laugh, and Carlisle smiled in my direction. "Your man loves you. Never doubt it."

"I don't." I beamed. "I won't!"

"You should go in and get some rest, Bella. You have had quite the ordeal, and I am sure your body needs the rest." Carlisle slipped from father mode to doctor in the span of a heartbeat.

"I'm not tired." I told him honestly.

"Well, you should at least _try_ to rest. Doctor's orders."

"Okay, Carlisle. Okay, I'll try." I promised. Jake and I watched them leave, and walked into the house, his arm wrapped securely around my waist.

I was feeling very hungry… ravenous really. I went into the kitchen to find something to eat. When I looked into the refrigerator, scanning its contents, I spied a family sized package of steak that needed to be separated into smaller portions and frozen. I decided I would cook some up now. When I cut open the air-tight plastic, a curious compulsion overwhelmed me. The scent of the raw meat assailed me, and before it registered to me what I was doing, I found that I was greedily tearing into a piece of raw steak. Nothing had ever tasted so good. I was working on my third or fourth bite before I comprehended the reality of the situation.

A part of me was disgusted at the thought of what I was consuming. Another part of me could not have cared less. I looked over to Jake who was staring at me, mouth agape, with eyes as wide a dinner plates. I cringed, and my face crumpled in apology, but before I could stop myself, I began to lick the blood dripping down my fingers.

In a frenzy I grabbed the package off of the counter, and tipped it up, drinking the blood that lay in a pool at the bottom of the foam tray. Then I began to squeeze the piece of steak that I still had clutched in my hand, trying to milk it for the liquid that I suddenly craved.

"Oh, God! You're not.. you can't be!" Jake screamed out as he fell to his knees at my feet, and wrapped his arms around my waist. He sobbed brokenly and I dropped the package to clutch him to myself. I had never been so torn in two. On the one hand, this intense craving for blood was all encompassing, crushing me beneath the weight of desire. On the other was my love for Jacob, and my need to assure him that I was alright… of course, that would have been easier to do if I was able to assure _myself_ first.

"Jake, I'm… I'm okay, really. I just… I think I might need to hunt."

"That fucking bastard changed you, Bella!" his grasp tightened around me.

"Yes, he did. His venom triggered a change in my body, and now I am something… other. I'm not a vampire, Jake. I'm a shape-shifting hybrid freak, and if you want to leave me, I understand." Tears filled my eyes as I choked out the last few words.

"Bella, no!" Jake stood, and cupped my face in his hands. "Never! I'm just furious over what happened to you… all of the changes. All of the pain you went through. I've been dying to ask, but terrified to know…" he searched my eyes. "Did he rape you?"

"No, yes…no." I stammered. "He forced me to…." I closed my eyes; I could not look at him when I said the words. "He was jerking himself off, and he… he shoved it in my mouth right before he came. He made me swallow it." Jacob pulled me into his arms, and held me tightly to his chest as I sobbed.

"I'm so sorry, baby." He whispered softly, rocking us from side to side. "I'm so sorry that you had to go through such horror. I'm sorry I wasn't there for you, that we didn't find you in time." I pressed myself more deeply into his arms, and snuggled myself against his warmth. He reminded me in that moment why I had thought of him as my own personal sun. He was everything bright and beautiful and warm. As he held me, and showered me with his unconditional love and support, I could feel the anguish I had been holding inside dissipate.

"Jacob, you were right where you needed to be. It was me that was out of line. I threw a temper tantrum, and I ran off by myself. It cost me, but I can't bring myself to regret it. We have a forever together, Jake." I assured him.

Jacob pulled back far enough to rest his forehead against my own, and stared deeply into my eyes. We stood like that for a little while, until he seemed satisfied with whatever he read there and then he kissed me. It was a gentle, tender kiss that grew and flourished. Soon, he was devouring my mouth, our tongues danced and caressed against each others. I found that my hunger for raw meat and blood was replaced quickly with a passion for Jacob.

I was scooped up, and taken to my room where he threw me onto the bed. He began to unbutton Edward's shirt I was still wearing. He placed kisses over every exposed inch of skin as he slowly unwrapped me like I was a gift. He lavished me with his love through his kisses, and touches, and words. When I lay naked, bare before him, he stood, and unabashedly drank in the sight of me. I could feel the blush creeping under my skin as I looked at the intensity of the desire that filled his eyes. Jacob began to undress himself, never looking away from me.

"So beautiful." He whispered as he lowered himself to the bed. He covered me with his body, resting himself between my legs, with his erection placed firmly against my slit. He held the majority of his weight off of me, propping himself up on his elbows as he leaned down to kiss me. I rolled my hips against his, reveling in the feeling as his hot shaft slid against my wetness. He groaned at the sensation.

"So wet for me," he said against my lips. I grunted softly in response as he flexed his hips, sliding against me again, and spreading my wetness over my sex. The silky feeling of his rigid cock against my clit was amazing, and I bucked beneath him.

"Condom, Jake. We don't have any!" I felt the need to remind him of my father's warning.

"I don't care. I need you. I don't want that barrier between us. We'll deal with whatever comes our way." He kissed me passionately. "I'll cross whatever bridge we come to, so long as you're with me."

He continued to kiss me as he found a rhythm, sliding himself through my slick folds, and palming my breasts. I broke apart from his kiss in order to breathe, and shuddered at the pleasure that he was bringing me.

"Please, Jacob. More… I need to feel you inside of me." I pleaded with him. He pulled back his hips, and aligned himself at my entrance, then paused. He waited until we had direct eye contact before he pushed his way inside of me. We groaned loudly together as he filled me. The feeling was accompanied by a strange yearning from within me. I suddenly could not get enough of his skin. I felt like I could not move or breathe if he didn't kiss me, I needed to feel all of his weight on me as he was moving inside of me.

I wrapped my legs around him, locking my ankles together against his bottom, drawing him even more deeply inside of me as the angle of my hips changed. I wrapped my arms around his back, and lifted my hands to his shoulders, pulling him tightly against me. It was like I couldn't get close enough. I urged him to move faster, thrust harder and more deeply.

"Baby, you feel so good… ungh… so tight." Jacob gasped as he obliged, grasping my hips, and slamming our hips together, grinding against me with his pelvis with every thrust. It was a delicious explosion of sensation; the feeling of being stretched as he filled me, the heat and weight of his body pressed against me… everywhere, and the way that his pelvis ground against my clit with every thrust. I could feel my orgasm coiling within me, and I tried to hold it at bay, not wanting to lose this closeness… this feeling of being one complete being.

"Oh, my God! Jacob… so good! Ahhh." I cried out as pleasure erupted throughout my system, sending me into virtual convulsions, and my eyes rolled back into my head. I was electrified with sensation, and I clung tightly to Jacob as he continued to pound deep into my core.

"Bella… so… good… uh… soo…so good.." he grunted with every thrust. He leaned down, and sucked a nipple into his mouth, flicking it with his tongue, re-awakening my desire, and filling me with hunger for more. Jacob reached down, and pushed back against my right knee, drawing it upwards beside my torso, allowing him a deeper angle of thrust. He looked down to where we were joined, and watched as his shaft pumped into me.

"So beautiful, Bella. Look at it, watch me fill you."

I looked down and watched with him as his cock filled me over and over. He was right; it was beautiful to watch as our bodies joined. I reached down with my left hand, and began to press against my clit, rubbing circles into my tender skin. I let my hand dip lower, and spread my fingers, so that I could feel what I was seeing; as his cock slid between my fingers where we were joined. Jacob watched, and his eyes widened momentarily before clouding with lust.

"Fuck, baby. That's so hot." He moaned loudly, before he began to piston into me at an even faster rate, grunting and shuddering with every thrust. I felt the coil begin to tighten again, and I began to clench around his shaft as my orgasm slowly overtook me. I had the sudden, overwhelming urge to sink my teeth into him, and I could not shake it. I kissed him along the base of his neck and over towards his collar bone. I bit into him, and felt his blood trickle into my mouth. The pleasurable sensation of his blood against my tongue was unfathomable. I felt Jacob kissing along my collar bone as well, sucking and nipping against the skin there. My pleasure built and grew, sending me into a spasmodic, shuddering spiral before crashing over me, and consuming me in a tidal wave of bliss. I barely registered as Jacob came with me over the edge, screaming my name.

~.~

I awoke forty-five minutes later, wrapped tightly in Jacob's arms. I was a sticky mess, and my whole room reeked of sex. I could not control the satisfied giggle that erupted from my throat. I looked at Jacob, and traced the edges of his jaw and the outline of his lips with my fingertips. I marveled again at his breathtaking beauty, and thought back over the last ninety minutes or so, replaying our love in my minds' eye.

I was somewhat shocked with myself, and slightly ashamed that I had not argued with Jake about contraception. It was irresponsible, and if I was honest with myself; downright _insane_ to have unprotected sex. I thought back to my reasoning in that moment, and realized that something had happened inside of me when we started kissing. It was a different connection that sprang up. I knew before today that I loved Jacob with my whole being. He already owned all of my heart, that much was certain. I could not begin to put into words, even those that were merely thoughts what had transpired between us just now.

I felt tied to him in a way that defied explanation. Jacob was more than just my other half. There was more than mere completion to what I was experiencing. The mere idea of being separated from him suddenly caused my very soul pain. I tried to remember how it felt when I "loved" Edward, and it did something strange to my system. It almost made me nauseas – the very idea of loving or belonging to _anyone_ other than Jacob. I was consumed by a sudden and irrational feeling of guilt over the fact that I had kissed Edward. That I had allowed anyone room in my heart of hearts except for the lovely man currently lying fast asleep in my arms.

I walked into the bathroom, and started the shower, waiting for the water to heat up. It always took a few minutes for the hot water to reach upstairs. While I waited, I looked into the mirror, taking in the pallor of my skin. My irises were a strange color, like someone stirred dirt into red paint. They weren't exactly brown or red, but they were most _certainly_ not a human's eye color. I wondered idly if it were because of the blood and flesh I had consumed earlier, or if they were already this color before that. My features seemed to me to be more prominently displayed on my face; sharper somehow, and more well defined. My face looked both older and younger at the same time. My skin was smoother, and my complexion clearer than it had ever been, but there was a maturity to my face that I had never noticed before. Nothing that I could put my finger on, but I saw it none the less.

My eyes fell to my neck and shoulders, and I paused. I noticed a feint mark along my collar bone, and I leaned in to take a closer look. There was a subtle outline there that looked vaguely like a bite mark. I wracked my mind, trying to remember being bitten there. I had been bitten up and down my arms, and had the ugly scars to prove it. They were all paler than the rest of my skin, slightly raised, hard, and cold to the touch. Noticing their texture and temperature drew my eyes back to the one on my collar bone. I ran my fingertip across it, noticing that it was not raised or hard at all. The skin there was actually soft, pink, and warm. For a moment, I puzzled, until it occurred to me that this was the very spot that Jacob had been sucking, and nipping at as we came together. I realized then that what had felt soft and tender was actually as violent and needy as my bite on Jacob's collar bone had been.

Worry set in momentarily. I thought back to what I learned about Leah's reaction to Edward biting her. I ran swiftly into the bedroom, and paused at the edge of the bed to listen to Jacob's breathing, and his heartbeat. It amazed me that I could hear it so clearly. It was strong and steady, and his breathing was deep and regular. I leaned down to look closely at the bite that I had inflicted. There was an obvious mark; pink and raised from the rest of his skin, but it was the same temperature as the rest of him. He didn't appear to be suffering any ill effects. A gust of air left me as I released the breath that I had been holding since I put two and two together. Relief was palpable as I returned to the bathroom to shower.

After I washed, I returned to my bedroom, and sat in my rocking chair. I watched Jacob's sleeping form, and marveled at the surreal situation that was my life. My thoughts, (which were many) were a whirlwind… a cacophony of epic proportions. I was thinking about my past relationship, my current relationship, the depth of my feelings, my sudden craving for blood and raw meat, the upcoming battle, and all of the changes that had taken place in my body over the last two days. It was giving me a headache.

I knew that I needed to speak with someone wise about all of this… someone who might have more answers than questions. I knew that when he discovered the changes in me, my father was going to have a short-term melt down, and a temper-tantrum would be nearly inevitable, and then there would be an inquisition. I hoped I could get some answers before I saw him.

I left Jacob to sleep while I slipped on a pair of pajama shorts and a tank top, and went to the kitchen. I knew that I was going to have to face my father soon, and that there was no time for me to learn how to hunt at this moment. With Edward and Leah at her mother's house already, there was no way that Charlie would not be expecting me soon.

I grabbed the package of steak from the refrigerator, and resumed eating the piece of raw meat that I had started to eat earlier. A part of my mind mulled over the fact that just yesterday, the scent of blood made me ill. Handling raw meat had always been a meager necessity of cooking. It was not one that I relished. I was always quick to rinse it off, and get it seasoned and cover the scent of blood that it exuded, especially beef and pork, and then I always had to wash my hands and the work surfaces quickly and thoroughly. Now, the scent of the steak in my hand was as welcoming as the scent of a freshly opened package of coffee grounds, or the inviting smell of fresh popcorn at a theater. It was a rich, earthy, heady scent that called to my taste buds.

As I bit into the meat and began to chew, the flavor exploded in my mouth. It was delectable, and unlike any flavor I had experienced before and therefore defied accurate description. It was sweet and salty; it was almost buttery, but it had an acidic tang that made my mouth water for more. I ate the whole piece of steak, and found that I was somewhat hungry for more, even though my stomach felt bloated. I figured it had to be thirst, so I reached for a glass, and filled it with water; knowing full-well that it would not fulfill the need I felt, but I had to try. I had to find out if I could even consume "normal" foods or liquids.

It surprised me that water had a taste. It was sweet like syrup… too sweet, and it set my stomach to twisting, but I continued to chug the glass down, reasoning that if any part of my physiology was still human, I would need to nourish it as well. To my surprise, the water stayed down, but it set in my stomach heavily, and it felt… sloshy. I shuddered, and reached for the phone, dialing the familiar number, and praying that he would pick up.

"Bella, this is a surprise, we just left you. What can I do for you?" Carlisle's voice comforted me immediately, and I felt certain that he would hold the answers to my questions.

"Carlisle, I'm so glad you picked up. I have some really…. I need…" I struggled, what _did_ I need from him?

"Bella?"

"I need to ask you some questions, but I am not certain you will have answers." I stood silent as I tried to formulate a starting point. I knew that I would need to lead with the most pressing question, but I needed to figure out which that was. The fact that I was craving blood certainly seemed important, but the fact that water tasted like drinking light corn syrup was a mind trip in and of itself… and what of the depth of feelings that I was experiencing for Jacob. Even now, standing in the same house, with him asleep in a room over my head, I felt too far away from him.

"Bella, unless you ask them, neither of us will ever know." Carlisle's amused tone broke me out of my reverie.

"I am craving blood, and raw meat." I blurted out. There was a small sigh, and a pause on the other end of the line.

"The craving for blood is not surprising. I was wondering if this might occur. You already show many vampiric traits. You are also part wolf, and they eat raw meat in their wolf form. You are an amalgam of the two, so nothing is going to be cut and dry, Bella. The lines of your life and cravings are going to be blurred. I wish I had a better answer for you." Carlisle's voice was soft and full of sympathy.

"Water tastes sweet, like syrup." I informed him.

"Huh." Was his brilliant response.

"No insights?" I knew I sounded desperate.

"Maybe ask Jake? I don't know what to tell you there, sweetheart." I could practically hear him shrug.

"What does it feel like to mate?" I stammered, then blushed as I realized how that might sound. "I mean, emotionally! I don't mean.. that is… I mean, I _know_ what if fells like to…" I kept digging the hole; chewing on my foot. I sighed, and tried to think of how to word my question. "What I want to ask is, how do you know that you are part of a mated pair? What does that feel like exactly?" I asked him slowly.

"Well, I know that for me… it feels like Esme is an extension of who I am. She's more than just my other half to complete me, she's… " he paused, apparently searching for words. "She is my heart, walking around in a body that is separate, but fully mine; if that makes any sense." I nodded into the receiver, listening intently. "When we are apart for any length of time, I feel an ache, like a phantom pain that amputees describe. I feel her missing, even when she is just across the room. I only feel complete when we are touching, and I only feel truly whole and fulfilled when we are intimate. Even then, sometimes it feels like I cannot be close enough. It feels like if I could crawl inside of her, and she inside of me, what we could become one complete being, and we would never have need for more."

"Exactly." I leaned my head against the upper cabinet, letting his words echo in my mind. They were exactly what I had been feeling when Jacob and I made love today. It was the most fulfilling experience of my life, and yet it had felt like I could not possibly have enough of him. "For a few moments… just hours ago, I had a minor panic attack. I had a thought of Jacob possibly imprinting on someone else. I don't think I have to worry about that anymore. He is my mate, in every way."

"You sound so very happy, Bella." Carlisle's voice held a smile.

"I am Carlisle, I truly am!"

"Esme and I are so happy for you. We both worried so much about the four of you when the imprint was made. It seems impossible that so much has happened in the last five days." There was a wistfulness in his tone. "So much change in so little time, but so far everything seems to be changing for the better. It makes me so happy to know that the family is just growing as it changes, both in number and closeness."

"Yeah. It's odd that the very thing that I thought would shatter my life has actually completed it!" I smiled broadly. "Carlisle, Jacob is waking up, and we have to get going to Sue's house. Thank you so much for your time. I appreciate you."

"Thank you, Bella. I appreciate you too… daughter." Carlisle's voice was so quiet at the end of his sentence that I almost didn't hear him whisper the word – daughter. I hung up the phone in time to hear Jacob climbing into the shower, and cleaned up the kitchen, placing all of the meat back into the refrigerator. I knew that I would have to learn to hunt soon, but for now, and until after the battle that would happen the day after tomorrow, this would have to suffice.

After his shower, Jacob dressed in his cut off's and sought me in the kitchen, wrapping his arms around me from behind. I melted back into him, and my heart felt full at his touch. I sighed deeply, breathing in his nearness, as he also immersed himself in my scent, breathing against my neck.

"Jacob, does water taste different to you since you phased?"

He chuckled. "Yeah, it sure does. It is sweet like… I don't know how to describe it. It is just very sweet. At first it turned my stomach, but now there are times when I crave it, and can't drink enough." He smiled against my neck.

"Why did you never tell me that before?" I wondered aloud.

"I don't know." He shrugged. "It never occurred to me, I guess."

"Yeah. I guess it is an odd thing to think to tell someone, 'Oh, did you know since I became a shape-shifter, water tastes like corn syrup?' Not exactly a common conversation."

"Yes, that is exactly what it tastes like! I could never put my finger on it." Jake laughed. "I guess I felt like you already had to think I was strange with all of the changes and supernatural crap. I didn't want to compound it by telling you that water tastes sweet, and raw beef tastes delicious."

I turned in his arms, and wrapped my own around his neck to drag his face against my own. I claimed his lips in a deep and tender kiss. I felt the desire quickly ignite for more of him, but I stamped it down, and broke off the kiss, sighing heavily against his throat.

"We should get over to Sue's house. Dad is going to be concerned."

"Bells?" Jacob's eyes were lit with a fiery passion.

"What baby?" I looked deep into his eyes and ran my fingertips over his chest.

"I meant what I said earlier. I don't care if you decide to go on the pill. I understand that, but I don't want to have a barrier between us when we make love. I need to feel you, and it doesn't matter to me what the outcome is." He reached between us, placing his hand over my belly. "If we made a baby today, I would be the happiest man alive. Whatever life brings… I mean it, Bells. I can face anything with you by my side. Don't every leave me. You can't. Want to know why?" his eyes blazed with a fire that looked to consume us both.

"Why, love?" I breathed.

"I realized today that you _are_ my imprint. I feel everything for you that Sam feels for Emily, but this is magnified. Bella, I can't be without you. Ever." His voice wounded desperate, urgent.

"Jacob, we can never be apart. You make me whole. You fill every part of me with your love, just by being. When you touch me, it is like my heart recognizes its counterpart. I can do anything… be anything with you by my side." Jacob spun me in a circle, and kissed me all over my face as he laughed.

"You are everything to me, Bells. I love you!"

"I love you too, Jake. Forever. You are my mate, my imprint, the love of my life… whatever you want to call it!" I smiled so widely that it felt like my face might break. Jacob and I lost ourselves in a passionate kiss for a few moments before I broke away from him, and looked at the clock.

"Jacob, love… we _really_ have to get going. Dad is going to freak out if he finds out about everything from Leah and Edward before I get there."

"I know. You're right… we should go." He sighed and placed one more chaste kiss firmly against my lips before we turned and ran out of the house, hand-in-hand.

**~~..*..~~**


	32. Chapter 32 Forgiveness and Consequences

**An...** Hello everyone. LOOOONG time no see. I am so very sorry! RL has been a bear.  
>I won't bore you with the details. It isn't important in the long run. I got this done,<br>and I hope to get more out next week, as I have 3 days off in a row. NOT promising,  
>but it IS my plan.<p>

My most sincere thanks to Prettyflour. She is the one who helps ensure that the  
>finished product that all of you read is prettied up, and flows coherently. I<br>appreciate her so much. She is the jam that makes my jelly roll! ;) ILY, Woman!

Thank you to all who have stuck with me through this journey, I hope that all  
>of you know how very much I cherish each and every one of you! (Even the<br>lurkers!) I love reading your reviews. They have brightened my days, and  
>have fed the fires of my passion for this story.<p>

Chapter 32

_**Forgiveness and Consequences**_

**_~~..*..~~_**

**Leah POV**

After discussing the changes that we knew about and the impending answers from the blood work that Carlisle had sent out, an awkward silence descended on the room. No one seemed to know exactly what to say. So much had occurred in such a small amount of time that I don't think that anyone could wrap their head around the situation, or the possible ramifications in the future. There was already a large 'target' painted over Bella's head by the Volturi. They were expecting the Cullens to change her. I doubted that this change would be welcomed by them. The anomaly that was Bella and me would surely be considered as a sacrilege.

I was feeling on edge. I couldn't keep still, fidgeting with my hands, bouncing my legs, biting my lips and playing with my hair. I couldn't fight the draw I was feeling to Edward. Since he had left to help Carlisle with the medical paperwork just over two hours previous, I began to feel his absence, but now; it felt like it was eating a hole in my brain.

"Leah, sweetheart! What is wrong? You are acting like you are going to crawl out of your skin!" my mother placed her hands over mine to stop my restless behavior.

"I'm sorry. I just need…" I closed my eyes, and breathed in deeply. "I _need_ to go to Edward. I can't shake it, and I _DO_ feel like I could 'crawl out of my skin.'"

"Then go to him, babygirl." She cupped my face in her hands and looked into my eyes. "He is your imprint, and you need him." The understanding in her eyes was all the permission I needed to leave.

"Bye everyone." I said to the room as I rushed to the door. I stopped half way through and turned back to look at Bella and Jacob. "Hey, can you guys come with? I know you can't wait to spend time with Charlie, Bella; but there is so much that needs to be done before…"

With only a nod of understanding, they got up from the couch, and began to follow me.

"Am I ever going to be filled in on _whatever_ it is that is about to happen? I know it's gotta be big." Charlie asked, sounding both defeated and exasperated.

"Call my dad. He has his instructions on how to keep you and Sue safe. I'll tell him to fill you in." Jacob told him as we left the house, making out way to the Cullen's house. By the time we got there, it was nearly eleven at night. As soon as we were within range, I reached out to Edward.

_I'm coming, baby._ I told him.

_Hopefully not without me!_ Was his playful response. Bella and Jacob looked at me like I had sprouted a third eye when I suddenly burst out laughing just as Jake turned the Rabbit onto the Cullen driveway.

_You are a dirty boy tonight, huh? Is that a promise? _ I teased, ignoring the glances that I kept getting from the front seat, as I giggled again at the silent exchange.

_Count on it!_ Edward assured me, and I giggled again.

Suddenly, I sensed a flash of anger and tension from Edward. Before any words formed in his mind, I heard it… there was a low growl from the tree line, and a flash of silver darting in a parallel line to the car.

Paul. I shook my head in frustration as I thought again over how foolish it had been for me to want to punish Sam. We had all jumped so harshly at him, but we had let Paul slink away without consequence, even though it was _he_ who suggested raping me. The more I thought back to it, the more I realized the shock in Sam's mind when it was suggested.

_I'm almost there, baby. I will take care of this menace once and for all._ Edward assured me.

"Jacob, stop the car!" I yelled.

The car skidded to a halt within about ten yards, sending dust, grass and pebbles flying. I jumped out of the car quickly, phasing and on guard.

_Yeah, about time you faced me! _ Paul thought loudly._ You vampire loving WHORE! We should have used you according to the old ways, you would never have had the chance to imprint on the enemy, and you would have known your place._

_My place?_ I growled_. My place is by the side of my imprint. If you had any sense of your own humanity, you would realize that you just said the same thing about any Quileutte woman of the right ancestry, _includingYOUR_ imprint, Rachel! How would you like it if any of your brothers had thoughts of holding her down and forcing their way inside of _HER_?_

_Don't try to reason with him, love. His mind is too far gone. He is depraved and has been thinking about tearing out your throat since he got into range._ Edward's mind sounded enraged and more than ready for a confrontation.

Jacob and Bella shot out of the car, and phased as soon as they registered what was happening. There was momentary silence from Paul's mind as he watched Bella phase, he was completely in shock.

_Oh, great! Another vampire whore joins the pack. _

_You bastard!_ Jacob sprang, pinning Paul to the ground quickly. Paul knew that he was no match for Jacob, as had been proven time and again. He was hoping that he could face off against me. He was hoping to get the opportunity to kill me, knowing full well that the consequence of this would be his own demise.

_Let him up._ I demanded. _ He wants to try to take me out, let him!_

Jacob allowed Paul to get up, and shook his head back and forth with a grin.

_It's your funeral!_ He laughed at Paul.

_Hers first!_ Paul thought.

_Leah, no! You can't do this, I won't allow it! _Edward ordered me. I laughed.

_We HAD this discussion Edward. I will NOT be ordered around by you!_

_Please! Don't do this. I can't think of you being hurt._

_Edward. We have a battle the day after tomorrow, against a newborn army. I am going to be fighting in that battle… for my SISTER! Do you seriously think that this unhinged pup stands a chance against me?_

_Pup?_ Paul spat._ Bitch, I can take you in a heartbeat._

_Talk, talk, talk… Didn't anyone ever tell you that actions speak louder than words? PUP?_ I taunted him.

_Fuck you, you little cunt! Your leech is right; I am So going to rip your throat out._

Suddenly, a blur of chestnut toppled Paul. The night sky was filled with a loud yelp, followed by several soft, airy whining noises before blood sprayed, and a gurgling sound filled the air. In the final moments before the light faded from Paul's eyes, his vision was filled with Bella's face.

After phasing back to her human form, she stared into Paul's eyes, and uttered words I would never forget.

"Family is everything, Paul. You lost that somewhere, along with your humanity. You deserved better than this. Better than what you allowed yourself to become. I could not allow you to try to harm my sister. I release you of this curse, and I hope that you find redemption."

Tears fell from Bella's eyes as Paul died. Sobs wracked her form as she allowed the pain of it all to engulf her. I knew that it was tearing her up to have taken a life. I watched as Jacob took her into his arms, and rocked her gently.

Edward and I made quick work of disposing of Paul's body, burying him in beneath the river floor, where the elements would take care of his remains quickly, and he would not be discovered. It was a harsh reality that he had brought this upon himself, and it saddened me that he had chosen this path. I hoped that Bella would recover quickly.

"She will be okay, Leah. Her sobs are already quieting, and she seems to be relaxing." Edward assured me.

"Keeping track of her through Jacob's thoughts?" I asked.

"And Carlisle's. He got Jacob to bring her into the house."

"We have to release Sam to be a part of the pack again. His only wrongdoing was holding me down." I reached up to touch Edward's cheek as he encircled my waste with his arms, pulling me tightly against himself.

_Will the drama ever end? _His mind wondered softly.

_I hope so. _ I sighed deeply and buried my face in his neck, breathing in the masculine, sweet scent that was unique to my Edward.

"Let's go get Jacob, and talk to Sam. We will need him tomorrow for training, and we certainly need him for the fight." Edward acknowledged.

I began to slip out of his grasp, and turned towards the house when he quickly pulled me back firmly against himself.

His hands found their way into my hair as his thumbs stroked my cheeks. His lips covered mine softly in a tender kiss that seemed to communicate his heart.

"I am sorry." He told me after breaking off this kiss, resting his forehead against mine. "I know that you are strong and independent. I know that you are capable of defending yourself, but I will _always_ try to protect you, and keep you from harm. You mean more to me than… all of everything, ever! Nothing matters to me except for your life and safety."

"Your family matters." I corrected.

"It's not the same, and you know it. I love my family, and would do anything in my power to defend them, but love…" he kissed me gently, "You are my priority. Forever. You are my heart. I cannot live without you. I would be _devastated_ if I lost a family member, but I would cease to exist if I lost _you_."

"I know. I understand. Just the little while that we were apart this evening was difficult for me. I cannot conceive of the pain of losing you." I squeezed him tightly, pressing myself against him.

"We should go. We need to take care of this business with Sam quickly, so that we can have some time together before tomorrow's training. I need you, so much. I need to…"

"I know, I need you too, baby." I assured him.

We ran into the house, finding Bella seated on the couch. She had showered and was dressed in clean clothes. Esme was beside her, holding her in a motherly embrace and speaking softly to her. Rose and Alice were seated beside them with tender expressions on their faces. Jacob was across the room talking with Jasper, who was flanked by Carlisle and Emmett. They appeared to be strategizing.

"Jacob, I hate to interrupt, but can I have a word with you?" Edward asked, effectively breaking up the meeting.

"What's up?" Jake's expression was weary.

"No need for alarm." Edward reassured. "It's just that Leah and I were talking, and agreed that we need to give Sam the opportunity to rejoin the pack. What he did was wrong, but not unforgiveable. His mind was not set on hurting Leah."

"I kind of figured that. I had a hard time seeing him wanting to harm her. He never really stopped loving her, you know." Jake looked over at Bella, concern knitting his brow.

"I think you should leave Bella here with Esme and Rose and Alice." I told them. "I want to go and talk to Emily. I need to let her know that Sam didn't hurt me. I am sure she is a mess."

"Sam will need to hear of your forgiveness as well, love." Edward hedged.

"I know. I planned to tell him." I knew that he would need to be assured by me that everything was okay, and I bore him no enmity.

"Alright, let's go get this done." Jake agreed.

Bella told us to go, assuring us that she was fine, and would be back to herself by the time we returned. Jake enveloped her tenderly and kissed her before we left. The bond between them was evident. I noticed when they arrived at Mom's house that they were in constant contact. I sensed an intense energy between them, and every time I looked at them they were gazing into each other's eyes. There was passion there. I recognized it, as it was _exactly_ the way that Edward looked at me. I imagined that watching them together was like watching Edward and I.

A monumental sense of trepidation was rolling off of Sam in waves as we approached him. He was sitting on the stoop of his small house, smoking a cigarette in long, desperate drags. His eyes darted back and forth from me to Edward to Jake, then back again. There were dark circles, and bags under his eyes. It was obvious that he had gotten no rest.

When we came to a stop in front of the house, Sam's head dropped onto his arms, which rested across his drawn up knees.

"I'm sorry. I so fucking sorry!" he cried softly into his lap, repeating it over and over.

_I need to go to him, and make this right._ I sent to Edward, looking deeply in his eyes for understanding.

_Go._ He nodded, kissing the top of my head.

I walked carefully to Sam, and place my hand on his head. A sob erupted from his chest when I touched him, and he fell at my feet, wrapping his arms around my waste, and sobbing against my stomach.

"You hmph do fergm mmph ah nbrh mnd do hurd you." He mumbled against me unintelligibly. I heard the translation through Edward's mind.

"I forgive you, Sam. I know you would never hurt me. I was just so scared that day. Scared, and shocked at what Paul said… and you were keeping me down. I was terrified, but I know, Sam. I know you would never hurt me. I know that in another life, another universe you and I would be married right now. I know that you loved me, and I need you to know that I don't hold anything against you. It's all good. You and I are good."

Sam looked up at me, tears running down his face. "You have to know, I would _never_ have allowed him to do those terrible things to you. I only showed you what happened with the other females so that you would know how differently I treated you. I was so angry, thinking you didn't trust me, and I lost it. I should never have held you against your will. Jacob was right to take over as Alpha."

"Sam, it really is okay. I understand, and I forgive you." I hugged him to me tightly for a brief moment. "How is Emily?" This brought a fresh wave of tears.

"She left. She went to her mother's. She told me she needed space to think."

"Oh, Sam! I am sorry. I'll go to her right now." He started shaking his head, to tell me not to go, but I ignored him. I asked Edward for his shirt, and unlaced my tennis shoe, tying his shirt to my ankle.

"Leah, you don't have to do this. She was right to leave…" Sam began.

"No. All of this ends now." I cut him off. "You are the father of that child she is carrying, and she is your imprint. This will not be 'right' until she is here with you where she belongs. I will make her understand."

I went a ways into the trees, before I undressed, leaving my clothes neatly piled at the base of a large maple tree that Sam and I had spent many an evening under while we were together. I phased, and ran swiftly to Emily, reaching her within a half an hour.

Emily answered the door quickly despite the late hour, her eyes were still puffy and bloodshot from her tears.

"Leah!" she exclaimed when she saw me on the porch, throwing her arms around and exploded into a fresh bout of tears. "I'm so sorry. I can't believe he..."

"Stop!" I demanded, cutting her off. "Sam kept me pinned, but he _never_ hurt me, he never _would have_ hurt me. I'm not saying it was okay for him to keep me pinned under his order, but it was _Paul_ that wanted to hurt me. Sam froze up, and panicked over the very insinuation, and that is when Edward found us. He didn't have the opportunity to explain. I already talked to him. He is broken, and he needs you." My words all tumbled out quickly. Emily just stood there looking at me with a confused expression.

"I didn't know what to think. Edward reads minds, and he told Jacob to strip him of his position and ban him from the pack. I figured he wouldn't do that without reason."

"Emily, Edward is extremely protective of me. The fact that he had to remove me from the weight of the alpha order was enough to convince him at the time of Sam's guilt, but after he thought it through, he realized like I did that we had overreacted. It was not Sam."

"He needs you. Please, come back with me. He hasn't slept, and he looks like hell." I pled with her.

"Can you give me some time to think this through?"

"Emily, I am sorry, but you really need to realize how badly he needs you. You know about the battle Saturday?" I asked.

"Yes."

"Then, you know that he needs to be relaxed and combat ready, and he has had NO sleep since this happened?"

"I… " Emily broke. Sobs ripped their way from her throat, and she crumpled against the door frame. "I miss him so much. I couldn't believe that he betrayed me. I have done nothing but cry."

"Come with me, you can tell him." I encouraged.

She wrapped her arms around me, and gave in. "Take me to my Sam."

I phased and she climbed on my back. Forty minutes later, Sam and Emily were wrapped tightly in each other's arms, giving and receiving forgiveness, and letting go of the mess that misunderstanding can leave in its wake.

**~~..*..~~**

Reviews are Welcome and Wanted.  
>They make me smile.<br>(I love to smile!)

**Fic Rec time!**

Little Green and Easybella by BettiGefecht Summary: She only remembers a silent kid, he doesn't remember her at all. When they meet again, they feel a connection that isn't of this world - ExB; AH; lemons, no smut; autism; age gap; true love; virginity - "Cherry Exchange" contest entry, now continued

This one is so incredibly tender and FUKING HAWT... OMG! It is So worth the read!

Torn by Dooba Summary: Bella Swan has survived a living hell, twice. She no longer speaks. Nobody ever listened. The Cullen family take her into their care. Bella fights to leave her past behind, but will she be able to let love in? AU/AH M-rated for violence, content, language

You might want to consider buying stock in the Kleenex company before reading the first 20 or so chapters of this... That being said, it is a beautiful story. I want to know this Cullen family. Edward is so gentle and thoughtful, and all I want to do is take Bella into my arms like Esme, and show her her innate value. You will too.


	33. Chapter 33 Welding of Souls

**AN...** Thanks to Prettyflour, my chapter comes to you all polished and beautified!

This chapter is another big ol' glass of refreshing LEMONade!  
>This will be the last one, so enjoy! LOL Not much longer until<br>we are at the point of an Epi... It is hard to believe, and a  
>little bit bittersweet that I am winding my first story to it's<br>conclusion.

A big thank you to those who have been with me for this ride!  
>There are 3 in paticular who have inspired me, and kept me<br>plodding along with all of your kind words and :) reviews! I  
>hope you know who you are... if you don't, you will in my final<br>AN, because I plan to give special acknowledgment where it is due.

Chapter 33

**Welding of Souls**

**~~..*..~~**

**Leah POV**

Jacob and Sam had agreed on meeting with the pack and the Cullens in the clearing at five o'clock in the evening for some last minute strategies and to make sure that everyone knew their roles. Edward and Jacob agreed as we headed back home (to the Cullen's house) that it was a miracle that Bella's scent had hardly altered. If anything, it had become more appealing to my entire vampire family. It was sweeter, and stronger than it had been before she was abducted and tortured by the nameless, heartless piece of shit that had managed to walk the earth for God knows how long before Bella snapped and removed his head.

Bella. I once thought of her as some spoiled, self-centered brat who thought of nothing and no one but herself. All I was able to see before the previous Saturday was a cold-hearted conniver who had two guys wrapped around her little finger, flaunting their emotions and using them to her advantage. Now I had gotten to know the soft-spoken woman whose heart had been torn between a close friend and a first love. All that she had ever really wanted for _herself_ was a quiet and inconspicuous life with the people that she loved; and she wanted to be made strong and invulnerable like them so that she could spend forever with them. Who _wouldn't_ want forever with their loved ones? No, Bella was not selfish, spoiled or vacuous; she was the opposite of all of those things. And oh, yeah… she's my sister! (Okay, so the DNA won't have come back for another ten days or so, but all initial markers would indicate…)

Bella was introduced to the supernatural rather violently at every turn. Edward told me of their meeting, and the near miss of the van on ice, and the back alley in Port Angeles, and then James and Victoria. Nothing ever seemed to come easily to Bella. I had come to think it was just _my_ lot in life to struggle for everything I ever wanted, and then have it denied me, but I was changing my mind, and figuring it was a family trait. Shit, look at Charlie! Now, Bella finally seems to have all that she ever wanted, but she has had to kill a vampire _and_ a werewolf within less than two whole days since she became… whatever it is that we are. I made a mental note to ask Carlisle and Edward to help us name our genus.

_Vampwolf, or Werepire?_ Edward smiled at my inner musings.

"Yeah, I don't like those so much." I stated dryly. "It really is fortuitous that her scent appeals to you all even more strongly now, isn't it?"

"That is the family's hope anyhow. I hope that Carlisle is able to discover what makes the difference, and how she has retained her scent. The difference is nearly imperceptible. I would have thought that she would come to smell more like the wolves."

"Why, because she can phase?"

"No, because her body's first response to the venom was to trigger the chromosome and the change." Edward's expression was pensive, his brows slightly furrowed.

"I don't think that that is so. If that had been the _first_ response, then she would have gone into anaphylactic shock, right?"

"Oh, I don't know. I don't know that we ever will, either." Edward sounded like he was bored with the topic suddenly as he reached for my hand. We had just gotten back to the house, and Jacob ran off to find Bella, while Edward led me swiftly upstairs to his room.

When we entered his room, Edward closed the door immediately, pushing me roughly against it. He leaned into me, resting the length of his body against the length of mine, and buried his nose into my neck, breathing me in. We stood like that for a while, saying nothing, just enjoying the quiet, and the nearness.

As his scent filled my lungs, I was immersed in his proximity, and my need for all things Edward, and _only_ things Edward. I slipped my hands into his hair, and knotted my fingers into it roughly, pulling his head back so that I could look deeply into his eyes. He had made short work of a stray button buck on our return from the res, and now they were vividly, stunningly lutescent liquid pools of passion. My mouth began to salivate with the singular thought of kissing him permeating my mind.

Edward dipped his head towards me, his eyes fixated on my mouth as he claimed my lips with a searing kiss. We opened to each other immediately, pressing our tongues together, and we both groaned as we tasted each other, our mouths fully content to consume whatever their counterparts offered.

As our kissing deepened, I found that my body responded very quickly to the smallest of input. Edward shifted his stance almost infinitesimally, moving his hips just the lightest bit against mine, and it was like fire under my skin. Every ragged breath I drew pressed my breasts against his chest in a fluctuating pattern that tightened my nipples, and sent shockwaves of lust straight to my seeping punani.

_Please._ I begged without breaking our fiery kiss.

Edward began to tear our clothes off, not bothering to pull himself away from me, nor cease in consuming my mouth with a raw passion. In mere moments, I felt the last strip of cloth slip from between us, We were once again bare together, heaving bodies pressed against each other; all flesh and singing nerve endings.

_Good lord, Leah! You smell incredible. I want to devour you._

_Make me yours again; I need you! Fuck me, Edward. Take me now!_

A feral growl broke free from his chest at my plea, and I felt his cock twitch against my stomach, leaking precum against my skin. The combined sensation of the rumbling of his growl, and the wetness of his emission clouded my mind with need. Want had left the building, thank you _very_ much! I needed to feel him fill me. I needed him to take me and mark me. I felt the shimmering heat of transformation as my teeth hardened and elongated. Rational thought fled as I sank them deeply into his collar bone. My hips began to undulate against Edward's thigh as I sought some sort of friction for relief of the now painful demand that was making itself known throughout my body.

The taste of his venom on my tongue was driving me slowly mad with want and painful desire. I lapped at the jagged edge of the wound that I had created, and watched in rapt awe through hooded lids as it sealed over, leaving behind a pink crescent on his skin. My whole body flushed with joy at the mark that _I _had left behind on him. He was mine!

_Please!_ I begged. "Please!" my voice was shaky, quivering with an all consuming, very real hunger to join with my love in the most primal of ways.

"Mine!" I snarled as I reached between us to grasp his weeping cock. I lifted my left leg around his hip, and dragged the head through my slit, and against my clit, allowing our seepage to combine and coat him before I placed him at my opening. "Stop being stubborn! Give me what's mine!" I whisper-yelled into his ear. I had no doubts that his whole family had heard my words, and knew what was going on, but I was beyond caring. I was a quivering mess of carnal desire, and wanton lust.

Edward gave in to my demand, ramming himself into me in one swift, forceful motion. My head fell back in relief as his cock filled and stretched me deliciously. Feeling him inside me was a feeling of rightness that words would never describe correctly. Together in this way, he and I made one complete being. Just the feeling of his most intimate appendage moving inside of my most private place was bliss. When his teeth clamped onto my collar bone again, and sank into my flesh; my eyes rolled back into my head. Only six strokes in, I began the spiral of a mind blowing orgasm that had my back arching and my whole torso twitching spasmodically.

Edward's hips began to piston against my own as every part of me clamped against him, my arms, my legs, my teeth, and my pussy as it convulsed against his thick shaft, trying to suck him dry. He slammed himself into me, and strained to press himself as deeply as he could possibly reach, the tip of his cock practically branding itself onto my cervix as his orgasm tore through him.

Edward pulled my right leg up and around his hip, holding me firmly against him by my ass, he walked across the room, and laid us onto the bed without ever losing our physical connection. He covered me with his body and began to kiss me again, sucking my tongue, and lips with his own. Soft moans escaped us both and filled the room as he began to move inside me again.

"Oh my God!" I whimpered against his lips. "It's too much! I can't… Oh, fuck!" I managed to strangle out against the tide of emotion and sensation that was surging through me, searing me with a white-hot desire, and welding my soul to Edward's.

_What is this? What's happening?_ I asked silently, unable to get the words to escape my mouth.

_This is why I couldn't tell you to leave. You are my mate. Every fiber of my being, every ounce of my soul is yours. This is your soul and mine… everything that makes us-us is being mated together. This is an unbreakable bond._

Tears began to stream down my face as his explanation washed over me. It rang true in every cell of my body, and every connection that I had felt with him up until that point felt gossamer in its wake. The depth of what we were sharing slammed through me with such simple clarity and beauty. Nothing in my life could have prepared me for this level of intimacy. Even sharing our thoughts could not hold a candle to what I was feeling. It was like I was feeling inside of him, through his eyes. I could practically feel what his body was feeling as he was pressed up against me, moving inside of me.

It is a strange thing to see yourself suddenly; through someone else's eyes. Our thoughts and hearts merged into one as our bodies moved against each other, claiming and giving love. I could _see_ myself looking back at him with so much love and trust. I knew he was seeing the same. In this moment, as we inched towards a physical release, the union of our souls trumped everything I thought I knew about joy or pleasure. Every sensation… every emotion was amplified. I felt his happiness as my own. He felt the rush of my endorphins as his cock pressed against _that_ place inside of me that made me groan in delectation.

_This is so… Edward! We are so beautiful together!_

_I never knew that mating would be _this_ amazingly intimate! I thought it was perfect before, but this is… Oh, God!_

As our physical pleasure increased, and we neared the cusp of orgasmic release, words became unnecessary whether thought or spoken. There were no words for what was happening between us. What was ringing clear to me in that moment of truth was that old addage about a three chord strand not being easily broken... Edward was my imprint, and as such, there was an instant bond on my part. Edward had told me today that he knew I that I am his true mate, so he felt bonded to me. But we shared yet another connection... Edward's venom had changed me. I was not fully vampire, but it occurred to us through our shared thoughts and emotions that he was also my sire. The three chord strand that could truly not be broken. I had found everything in him, imprint, mate, sire... no wonder this bonding was beyond even his expectations! And in that moment of release, as we both cried out in ecstasy that neither of us knew existed separately, but together as one complete entity, we found it impossible to be without.

As we laid in each other's arms afterwards, I was reluctant for him to remove himself from me. I was spent, but not tired. I felt like I would not be able to walk for a week, as my muscles had transformed into jello, and my bones had turned into sponge. It wasn't until Edward slipped out of me to roll me over and spoon against me that I realized that he was still hard, and very erect. I was amazed. He laughed at my incredulity.

"Vampires don't need recovery time, love. We stay hard until we force our minds to something else. I could keep going indefinitely." He whispered very softly into my ear as he held me tightly.

"If I didn't feel like a living ragdoll right now, I would be very tempted to test that out! As it is, I can hardly move." I chuckled. "I don't know how much more pleasure I can take right now!"

I looked at his clock across the room, and was stunned to find that four hours had passed while we were cocooned in our love bubble. I thought about the final training/planning session that was going to take place later that day and shuddered. I really didn't want Saturday to arrive. I wished we could stay wrapped in our love spell forever.

"The world isn't just going to go away because we wish it so, sweetheart!" Edward whispered, shifting us slightly so that he could look into my eyes.

"I know. But can we just stay here together… in this perfect bliss until we absolutely have to leave?"

"Don't you want to talk to Carlisle, and find out what he has learned about the changes in you since everything happened?"

"Well, yes, yes I do…. But I want _this_ more!" I gestured between us.

"We have to live a balance. This… connection that we have between us, this sharing of souls is the most wonderful thing I have experienced in my one hundred plus years, but it is unrealistic to think we can stay inside of this bliss forever."

"I know… really, I do! I just…" a gust of air left me forcefully as I sighed in my frustration. "Can we stay here like this for at least a few more hours?"

"Absolutely! Are your muscles adequately re-solidified?" he teased.

"Oh, I think you'll find that my recovery time has expired!" I grinned as he pulled me tightly against himself again, and began to kiss me until I felt dizzy. Losing our_selves_ to the conjoined being that our love created was indeed a worthwhile way to pass the time.

**~~..*..~~**

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	34. Chapter 34 Hearing Too Much

**AN... **As ever, much thanks to my pre-reader, Prettyflour... girl, you never cease to  
>amaze me with your mad skills and your fast turn around. ILY!<p>

Huge hugs and thanks to all of my readers, both long term and new. Thank you to  
>everyone who has been reviewing, I smile so big at each one, and have tried to<br>respond to them all!

**~~..*..~~**

**Chapter 34**

**_Hearing Too Much_  
><strong>

**Bella POV **

Somewhere inside of my head, I felt like something had broken. I was a simple girl with simple wants. How had I gone from a seventeen year old, gangly, introverted, naïve girl to this… new species of cross-bred… whatever the hell I am? Gah! I needed answers. I had just killed a werewolf. Just hours before that, I had killed a vampire. It felt like my body shut down on the heels of this latest mess. I was emotionally drained. I had bawled my eyes out. First into Jacob's chest, then Esme's.

My tears were now viscous. They left Esme's shirt ruined. I apologized as I finally gained some sort of control over my emotional state. Ever the care taker, she smiled and told me not to worry myself over it.

"Shirts are easily replaced. You, on the other hand, are not!" Esme smiled as she hugged me tightly once again. "Are you feeling up to talking about all of this?"

"I guess so." I shrugged. I felt like a child as she held me and played with my hair. I had been a caretaker to my mother for so many years that I hadn't noticed until now how much I had missed this kind of affection. Mom and I got along great, and she was a good mother… but she was a really sucky "mommy". I couldn't remember the last time I had been held in her arms like this, and comforted by her. I had vague memories of her playing with my hair as I fell asleep in my very early childhood years, but other than for a quick hug every now and again, I had not had this sort of attention from a mother figure in years. It relaxed my frayed nerves, and comforted me through the ache that now accompanied physical separation from Jacob.

Carlisle entered the room, holding out a glass of water and wearing a reassuring smile.

"Here Bella, drink this. I'd hate to see you get dehydrated." I accepted the glass gratefully and chugged down the now syrupy sweet contents. I handed the glass back to him with a whole body shudder, and contorted my face into a grimace as the water sloshed heavily in my stomach. Jacob had told me that some days he craved water… I realized in that moment that I never would again. I had never been a fan of sickeningly sweet flavors, preferring dark chocolate over milk chocolate since I could recall. My stomach felt sour as the aftertaste lingered in my mouth.

"I thought you said that water tastes sweet?" Carlisle sounded confused as he gauged my reaction.

"Yeah, it does, Carlisle. It's disgustingly sweet. I may as well drink a bottle of corn syrup." I huffed.

"I'm sorry, I didn't realize it was unpleasant. Is there something you would prefer?" he was quick to ask.

"You wouldn't happen to have a pint of cow's blood around, would you?" I half jokingly asked.

"Ah. Is that what you drank earlier?" he smiled knowingly.

"Yes, it was." I shrugged, as I pulled out of Esme's arms to sit up straight. She excused herself to the kitchen, and brought me a large glass filled with a thick, dark red liquid. It smelled so good that I began to salivate over its aroma.

"We always keep a few pints of blood on hand in case of emergency." Esme explained before excusing herself from the room.

"What kind is it?" I asked Carlisle.

"I believe that is moose." He grinned at me. "Did she warm it for you? I prefer mine warm." I took a small sip, and moaned as the delicious fluid slid across my tongue, down my throat. Unable to stop myself, I drained the glass greedily. It was not warmed, but it was certainly refreshing.

I felt it as my body began to absorb the blood that now filled my belly. There was a sense of wellness that spread throughout my system. I felt invigorated and stronger as my muscles began to receive the nutrients that they had obviously been screaming for. I was certain that I would recognize their plea in the future. If I thought that raw meat had satisfied my hunger before, I realized now just how mistaken I was. It may have filled the emptiness of my stomach, but it did nothing to fulfill the craving. Carlisle watched me, seemingly fascinated as I pondered my new understanding of my body and its cravings.

As the new strength began to course throughout my system, so did a strange tingling sensation. It wasn't very strong, or even definitive, it simply hummed as an undercurrent throughout my body. Something about it must have registered on my face, because Carlisle suddenly sat a little straighter, and his expression became concerned.

"What's wrong, Bella? What are you experiencing?"

"I don't know. It's probably nothing." I shrugged yet again. The small movement of my shoulders gave rise to a need for movement. I hopped up and began to pace around the room, my fingers flexing, my skin crawling. I had this odd need to move. I had never been one (due in great measure to my clumsy nature) to have strong impulses for physical activity, but I suddenly felt the need to run. "I feel strange, like I want to… exercise?"

Carlisle nodded. "Your muscles are receiving what they have been craving since you were changed."

"I feel like I am going to crawl out of my skin here. Care to join me for a run?"

"I'll go with you, sweetheart." Esme offered as she strolled into the room, dressed in a fresh outfit.

"Thanks, Esme." I said gratefully. "I don't know what has come over me, I just need to blow off some steam or something."

Esme smiled, and allowed me to lead the way as we jogged towards the forest. I waffled over whether to phase, or just take a run as I was. Opting for the latter, I apologized to Esme for the lack of speed which garnered a laugh from her.

"Bella, I don't think you realize how fast you are actually running right now. It's certainly not typical vampire speed, but trust me when I say that this is incredibly fast for any human." She smiled indulgently towards me.

"But that's just it, Esme. I am _not_ a human anymore. I'm not a vampire, I'm not a werewolf. Just what the hell am I?" I huffed.

"Bella, you are a wonderful and kind hearted young woman whom I have had the privilege of getting to know, and think of as a daughter. It doesn't matter to me that you are not fully human, or vampire, or shapeshifter." Esme came to a halt and touched my arm, and we stood, facing each other. She searched my eyes for a moment, and I could see thoughts racing behind her deep tawny hued eyes. "You accepted my son, and this family for _who_ we are, not _what_ we are. Is it impossible for you to believe that the sentiment is returned?"

"I-" I started to speak, but shut down immediately. Her question struck a chord inside of me, and I could not deny it. I searched her eyes once again, the truth behind them washing over me; filling me with trust. "Thank you."

We continued our run in silence. I found that I enjoyed the feeling of freedom and release that flowed through me as the wind whipped in my hair. There was a comfort in the steady rhythm of the ground against my feet, and I lost myself in thoughts of the last week of my life, and that the changes that had been wrought throughout this short time. I had lost my first love, and gained a mate. I had found out a new truth about my lineage, and finally understood the strange dynamic that was my father. I had gained a brother and a sister. I had been kidnapped, tortured, and irrevocably altered. I had killed two mythological creatures. I had lost my virginity. The list of changes to my life was incredible. I wondered how it was possible that I had managed to maintain my sanity.

Esme suddenly laughed beside me. "Losing our inner monologue, Bella?"

"What do you mean?" I broke my stride, and shot her a puzzled frown.

"You've been lost in thought for some time, and a few times you have mumbled things just under your breath, but this last statement was very clear." She smirked.

"I didn't realize I was thinking out loud!" I blushed. "What did I say?"

"You said, and I quote, 'At least I haven't lost my mind yet, or have I?'" She giggled softly.

"Well, yeah… that's _exactly_ what I was thinking. This week has been unrelenting in its intensity, and it isn't even over! We're training tonight, and we battle tomorrow. Everything feels so surreal." I sighed, exasperated. "Do you blame me for questioning my sanity?"

"Not really, no." Esme smiled benevolently. "All is not lost, Bella. I wish you would trust us when we say that between the seven of us, and the wolves, this will not be the horrible war that you have built up in your mind."

"I do believe that we will win, Esme. It's more about the "surreality" of it." I shook my head. "And, yeah… I know that isn't really a word, but it's _my_ word, so leave it be."

Esme chuckled again, and slipped her arm through mine, turning us back the way we came.

"Let's get back. Hopefully Jacob, Edward and Leah will be getting back soon, and Carlisle has some things that I know he wants to discuss with you."

**~.~**

"I have been researching since we left your house. I can't be entirely sure, but I don't think that you and Leah are exactly the first of your kind. Well, maybe the first vampire/shapeshifter hybrid, yes…. Have you ever heard of the Lobishomen?"

"I don't know, I don't believe so. Why, what is a Lobi-?"

"Lobishomen. In Portugal, there are old tales and legends of a werewolf that feeds on blood. I dug around on the internet, and looked into folklore before I called a very old friend. He was alive in the days of the Lobishomen. According to him, the story goes that a female werewolf was somehow impregnated by a vampire, and gave birth to twin sons. Supposedly she died giving birth to them, and they fed from her. They terrorized the forest for many years, draining unsuspecting victims, and supposedly there were only ever two people who escaped their clutches and lived to tell the tale, some forty years apart. My friend tells me that rumor has it that the Volturi stepped in and, and they were never heard of again." Carlisle's eyes locked with mine in an anguish filled gaze.

"Is this your way of gently telling me that the Volturi are not going to take the situation with Leah and I very well?" I whispered.

"No, I am afraid they won't. Hopefully we won't ever have to find out, though. I have no intention of travelling to Volterra anytime soon, or ever; and will therefore have no occasion to shake Aro's hand." Carlisle forced a smile.

"That may be, Carlisle; but you and I _both_ know that Aro is awaiting news of my change. What happens when he demands proof?" I countered.

I felt Jacob's nearness as I spoke, and relief washed through my system. My tightly wound nerves unknotted themselves, and I felt like the air was finally getting into my lungs for the first time since he left. He plopped beside me on the couch, and pulled me tightly against his chest.

"The Volturi are expecting a vampire Bella?" Jacob's brows knit with concern.

"Yes, Jacob. That was the only reason that they didn't destroy her, was Alice's vision of her changed in the future." Carlisle held Jacob's eyes for a beat.

"Damnit! Are you telling me that we are going to have to watch out backs forever?" Jacob was furious. I felt him shaking from head to toe. His already overly warm body spiked in temperature.

"Jake, stop!" I gritted between clenched teeth. "Calm down, and take a breath. You have _got_ to control your temper."

"I _am _controlling my temper."

"No. This is _not _controlled. Your fury is rolling off of you in waves, and your temperature is rising. You may not be giving in to the phase," I shook my head, and reached up to touch his face, lowering my voice, and speaking in softer, sweeter tones, "but this is not control. Breathe in through your nose, and out through your mouth. In through your nose, and out through your mouth." I began to chant, and breathe with him, our foreheads touching, and our eyes closed.

After a minute or two of this breathing exercise, Jacob's tension fell away, and he opened his eyes, looking remorseful.

"I'm sorry, Doc. I didn't mean to start yelling, and make a scene. I know that none of this is your fault."

"Not to worry, Jacob. I have been known to lose my temper from time to time when it comes to the safety of those I love. The bond between you two is strong, and it shows. There is no need to apologize."

"Thank you. Now that I have calmed down, I'd like to continue our discussion." Jacob directed.

Carlisle shot out of his seat, and held up his index finger, the universal sign for "just a moment". He left the room at vampire speed, and went up the stairs. While he was out of the room, I snuggled myself tightly against Jacob's side, and breathed in his calming scent of musk, and earth, and pine.

As we waited, I began to pay attention to the noises I could hear filtering throughout the house. Since "the change", it seemed that my hearing was growing more acute with the passing hours. I could hear a muffled conversation, and when I focused on it, I could make out three distinct voices. Alice, Jasper and Emmett. I could not quite make out the words, but the tones and voices were obvious. I heard water running, the staccato sloshes of water accompanied by the steady thrum and dripping noises made it obvious that someone was taking a shower. Esme? I wondered. Suddenly I heard very soft footsteps much closer. They were on the same level of the house as we were, but in another room. I heard a cupboard door swinging open, and then the sound of dishes being rattled. The cupboard door closed, and the refrigerator opened. I hear something being placed on the counter, and then more soft footsteps accompanied by a soft humming. Emse. She was preparing to cook for Jacob, and probably Leah. I smiled.

I listened again more intently, trying to figure out where each person was in the house, and what they were doing. Sometimes curiosity is rewarded with embarrassment. I focused back on the conversation, finding that one of the voices had dropped off, leaving just Alice… and … Jasper. I barely made out the dull sounds of footsteps, then a pause. Emmett's deep voice reverberated quietly. It sounded different, somewhat hollow, and amplified, although still muffled. I heard a giggle, and the beat of water from the shower changing. There was a shift in Emmett's tone, and a softening of his voice, then a slightly muffled feminine grunt. It began to register that Em had stepped into the shower with Rose. I tried to tune them out, and re-focus on Alice and Jasper... not such a good idea!

If curiosity had caused embarrassment already, it was getting ready to slay me next. I decided to listen more intently to the rest of the ambient noises, and figure out if Edward and Leah were here, or if they had gone back to the res. Tuning out Em and Rose became a chore as their sounds were amplified by the innate acousitcs of a bathroom. I could feel the heat rising as blood filled my cheeks, spreading across my chest and up my throat. Still I reached out, listening and sifting through the noises.

Suddenly, I heard another voice, distinctly female. There was a plea in the tone. I focused more acutely, straining to hear. (Big mistake!) The female voice switched to firm and demanding. Seconds later, there was a noise, like someone hit a wall. There was a loud groan, and a deep rumbling growl. The wall was being hit repeatedly, and the groaning became a high pitched keening. The tempo of the rhythm against the wall increased, and the growl became a roar. As it all crashed in on me what I was hearing, I thought I would die of humiliation.d ever hear I never imagined I would hear _anyone_ in the throws of passion, but how horrible to know that I was no hearing not one, but three couples under one roof having sex. First Em and Rose, then Alice and Jasper, and now Edward and Leah? I tried to shut it all out, but now that I had heard it, the noises were seared into my mind, and I could not tune them completely out.

Over it all I heard the clicking of a door, and footsteps on the stairs. I tried to regain my composure before Carlisle entered the room, but it was to no avail. Jacob had relaxed into the cushions on the couch, and was nearly asleep, completely oblivious to my mortification. Carlisle on the other hand… he took one look at my plum colored face, furrowed brow, and downcast eyes, and guffawed. Carlisle began to belly-laugh at my acute consternation.

Jacob startled, looking from Carlisle to me, obviously trying to figure out what he had missed. Carlisle was a mess, dropping disgracefully onto the sofa beside me. If he were human, his face would surely have been purple from the effort of his laughter, and his sides would surely have ached. It took several minutes for him to compose himself, during which time Esme had entered the room to see what all of the fuss was about. By then, I had bent forward, nose to knees, covering my head in shame.

"I don't get it. What did I miss?" Jacob sounded completely lost, and utterly confused.

"I'm not sure, but whatever it is has Bella mortified! Carlisle so rarely gets hysterical. What..?" Esme's voice dropped off, and Carlisle tried to contain himself; as his laughter began to die down a little bit. I decided it would be less embarrassing if I explained it myself. I was wrong.

"I was trying to test out my hearing." I whined, still covering my head in shame. "I was listening to the noises in the house, trying to figure out what everyone is up to…"

"No, you _didn't_" Esme gasped. "You _heard?_" A giggle erupted its way from her throat, and she covered her mouth, eyes wide. "You heard all of that?" I nodded.

"Carlisle! You need to calm down. She's so embarrassed!" Esme tried to sound stern, and get Carlisle to stop laughing at my expense, but several words were punctuated with giggles of her own.

"You… you should have… seen… her…" Carlisle was holding his sides, and drew up his knees. "_Face! Oh, my!" _

I _lifted_ my head a little, and looked at Jacob who still seemed to be in the dark at what I could possibly have been hearing. As he took in my scowl, and the redness of my face, I saw the light dawn, and his eyes widen. A grin spread across his face and I could see the teasing mischief shine in his eyes before the laughter took him.

"Not you too!" I moaned, and elbowed him in the side. Jacob and Esme joined Carlisle in his fit of frenzied merriment.

"Shit. Even as a hybrid Lobi-were-shapeshifter-pire, I still can't stop the damn blushing!" I groaned, effectively drawing out the fit of laughter surrounding me. "It's not that funny, guys!" I whined.

"No!" Jacob swallowed heavily, trying to stamp out the laughter. "You're right, it's not." He looked into my eyes, his own shining with amusement. "It's frigging hilarious!" he chortled in my face.

Esme at least had the grace to apologize for her laughter at my expense. In between bursts of giggles, she would say she was sorry, but the guys laughter would get the better of her, or she would look at my beet-red face, and another burst would escape her. Eventually, she grabbed my hand, and pulled me from the room, and into the kitchen, away from the boys who were nowhere near finished with their tomfoolery at my expense.

"Here, help me cook something for Jacob and Leah." She cleared her throat, and smoothed the front of her shirt as she regained her composure. We busied ourselves making a large pan of baked French toast, a dozen scrambled eggs, and a few pounds of bacon.

After a little while, the boisterous laughter died from the other room. I _almost_ tried to listen to the conversation wafting into the room, but decided to tune it out. I had learned my lesson the hard way. I turned to the little Bose stereo system setting on the counter, and pushed play. I was pleasantly surprised to hear CCR out SusieQ. Esme and I danced around the kitchen as we finished making breakfast. Just as we finished making the eggs, Jacob popped into the kitchen. He stuck his head around the corner, feigning an expression of contrition.

"I'm sorry. Can you forgive me for finding your embarrassment the teeniest bit funny?" his eyes were filled with mirth.

"I suppose." I sighed heavily. "You know you'll have to make it up to me somehow. I mean, here you are; doubled over in fits of hysteria, and I go and cook your breakfast? Seems a bit lopsided to me!" I stuck out my bottom lip in a mock pout. He immediately knew that he was forgiven, but we continued the charade for a few minutes, him telling me how very ashamed he was of his behavior, and me playing the martyr until he finally wrapped his arms around me, and kissed me thoroughly in the middle of the kitchen, right in front of Carlisle and Esme. The smiles on their faces were beatific and serene.

I pointed my finger at Carlisle, and narrowed my eyes. "You!" I exclaimed. "You are the one who should really be apologizing! If you hadn't behaved so poorly over my embarrassment, these two would never have been sucked into your vortex of paroxysm, they would have been none the wiser. It could have stayed between you and me!" I cocked my hear, and jutted my jaw for effect.

"See?" Carlisle chuckled softly. "There you go. Your expressions are priceless! If _you_ guarded your emotions better, instead of letting them betray you, I might not have ever known." He pointed at me, and raised his chin. "It's all _your_ fault!"

I couldn't help but laugh at the expression on his face as he tried to convince me that his own misdeeds were my fault. It was nice to see this side of Carlisle. He was always so serious, and controlled. I was glad to know that there was a lighter side to this noble patriarch.

Jacob began to dig in to the large breakfast that we prepared, and he sang our praises with every mouthful. I decided to eat a little bit myself, wanting to see if I could even still eat regular foods. I managed a couple of bites of the French toast casserole, and a strip of bacon, but I ate more eggs than I thought I would have room for. In the end, Jacob and I had polished off the whole bowl of eggs, and half of the bacon and casserole, him eating far more than I.

While we ate, Carlisle sat across the island from us, telling us more about his findings regarding the Lobishomen and what the medical tests he had performed on Leah and I showed.

**~~..*..~~**

**Reviews are always welcome and wanted!**

Hey, guys... If you like Non-cannon couples, and are open to to  
>original characters... I have a great fic to recommend!<p>

A Change of Heart by : Mika Tarja Kuha


	35. Chapter 35 Breakthoughs and Answers

**An... **Big hugs and all gratitude to to Prettyflour for pre-reading. Flove you!

Okay ladies... WAAAY back in February, someone nominated me for 2 SheWolf  
>awards. I just found out this past weekend. I have no idea who did this for me.<br>My **heartfelt and sincere** thanks is yours! I was bouncing around my house,  
>and *squeeing* like crazy. I'm NOT just saying that, either... ask Prettyflour,<br>she'll verify that I was UBER excited!

I walked a few ledges on this chapter. It is full of unique and strange ideas.  
>I hope I presented my ideas logically enough that they make sense to you.<br>I am **_REALLY_** counting on feedback from this chapter.

**~~..*..~~**

**Chapter 35**

_**Breakthroughs and Answers**_

**Leah POV**

After having holed ourselves up for far too long, we finally decided around nine in the morning that it was time to rejoin the world. Staying enveloped in our own private world for eight hours had been amazing, and definitely the _hottest_ experience of my life, and I was reluctant for it to end. Edward tenderly lowered us into the amazing infinity tub that took center stage in his personal bath. We soaked for nearly an hour in the tranquility of this masterpiece of bathroom architecture, making love once more before actually making our way downstairs to join the family.

Entering the kitchen, I quickly noticed the amazing breakfast spread out for the three of us who ate actual food. The delicious aroma of bacon overwhelmed me, and my stomach growled at its emptiness. I delved into the plate of bacon and baked French toast that Esme placed in front of me, shoveling in several mouthfuls before my stomach began to protest. I was ravenous, but apparently my stomach was not liking my choice of food. My mouth began to salivate, while at the same time, my throat felt parched and hot. I quickly drained a glass of water, trying to quench my sudden thirst, and put out the fire that was licking at my throat. The only purpose that it seemed to serve was to cause me to rush to the nearest toilet, and expel all of the contents of my stomach. I didn't understand.

Luckily, Carlisle and Bella instantly knew. As I was guzzling the glass of water, I noticed a pointed glance pass between them, and something began to tick at the back of my mind. I saw very easily that moment of silent communication taking place.

Having emptied my stomach, and rinsed my mouth, I reentered the kitchen. The expression on Edward's face was dark, and angry. I could feel the self-loathing rolling off of him in waves. Jacob's expression was equally abysmal, as he focused his eyes downward on the counter in front of him. Esme's face was blank, and Bella's seemed sympathetic as Carlisle was impassive as he held out a large metal tumbler with a lid and a straw.

"Try this." He instructed.

"What is it?" I asked warily.

"Do you trust us?" Bella asked, and I nodded. "Then please, just drink it. We'll explain, I promise."

Nodding again, I reached for the proffered cup, and lifted it towards my mouth. I paused to take a whiff of whatever was inside. It smelled divine, and without any further hesitation, I took several long, deep draughts on the straw, pulling the thick liquid into my mouth. It tasted so good, and felt so refreshing as it slid down my throat that I decided I needed to drink even more deeply. I popped the lid off of the tumbler, and chugged the remainder like a collegiate at Octoberfest.

Sighing in contentment as the fire died in my throat, and my stomach accepted the liquid readily; I wiped the drops of moisture left on my lips and chin with the back of my hand. I smiled at Carlisle and Bella in relief… and then I noticed the smear back of my right hand.

I don't know how long I stared, stupefied at the red smudge. I hardly acknowledged the sound of the brass tumbler as it fell from my left hand and clanged against the floor. Horror filled my brain as rational though fled.

Blood. I just drank blood, and it tasted… phenomenal. What did that mean?

I waited for my stomach to churn, and roil. I waited for my disgust to overwhelm my body in an effort to expel the blood from my system as it had the bacon just moments ago, but it wasn't happening. What did that _mean_?

A light spatter of red appeared on the floor, and the side of the counter and refrigerator. I ran the forefinger of my right hand against my cheek, removing the bead that landed there as the fluid splashed around the room. With no forethought, I brought my finger to my mouth, and licked it clean, and the back of my hand as well. What did _**that**_ mean?

"Carlisle?" I turned my eyes towards him in accusation. "What the _**FUCK**_? Was that…?"

"Not human." Carlisle quickly assured me.

Edward's eyes were boring into mine from across the room, but he remained silent. As he sat there, witnessing my outraged astonishment, he remained brutally uncommunicative. His eyes gave none of his thoughts away, as his whole face maintained a dispassionate expression.

_Way to lend me your support!_ I hurled at him wordlessly. _What is this? You share your mind through the beauty, but shut down when push comes to shove?_

I wanted to hit him. He was withdrawing from me _now_. In _this moment_, when I needed him most, he was shutting me out. I. WAS. FURIOUS.

"Fuck you!" I spat, ignoring Carlisle as he began to speak to me. I heard his voice, but nothing registered. He may as well have been an adult in a Charlie Brown cartoon for all the noise I acknowledged.

I crossed the small distance between us and shoved Edward with all of my strength, knocking him onto his ass with a resounding crash. "Yes, I'm disgusted, and you're _obviously_ disgusted, but it is what it is, Edward. You're really going to crawl inside a hole of despair and self-hatred? You're really going to withdraw and leave me to deal with this _alone_?"

I straddled him, grabbing the lapels of his shirt, and got in his face; nose-to-nose, seething. I replayed our conversation in my mind, flinging it at him, reminding him of the bond we had just made hours ago. "Unbreakable?" I shouted. "Imprint. Mate. _SIRE._" My voice dripped with venom. "This is where the rubber meets the road. You either get the hell _out_ of your head, and MAN the FUCK UP, or I will test the theory of our "_unbreakable_ bond."

The silence in the room was palpable. I shoved against Edward's chest as I stood, with tears streaming down my face. "Fuck you." I whispered, brokenly. "Do you even love me? If this is how you were planning to handle hardship, why didn't you let me die on that table? Why did you let Carlisle save me?"

"Son, I have witnessed you internalize every single event in your life." Carlisle spoke softly. "I have stood by and watched helplessly as you have turned every event into a reason to hate who you are. Free will does not mean that you get to choose your life's circumstances, Edward! Free will means that you can make the decision as to what you do with them. Who will you become? I should have found a way to help you with this years ago." He sighed deeply. "Right now, you have a choice! Are you going to throw away this rare gift by giving in to hatred, and a life of self-flagulation, or will you give yourself over to the beauty of the bond that you share with Leah? Will you trust that beauty can rise from the ashes, or will you allow this depression to overwhelm you, and rob you of the most precious experiences in this life?"

"But I ALMOST KILLED HER!' Edward roared, his face contorting in disgust and remorse.

"Almost_ is_ the operative word, Edward." Carlisle countered softly. Esme ushered me into the living room, and pulled me onto the couch beside her. Bella and Jacob followed behind us, and sat on the wide armchair together. We all instinctively knew that Edward was in a moment of both crisis, and hopefully self discovery. I offered a silent plea, and heartfelt prayer that Carlisle would be able to break through the wall that Edward had erected over his many years in this life.

Sometime later, Carlisle and Edward emerged from the kitchen. I wasn't sure how long they had been in there, but I was grateful for the time they had spent together. Without intending to, I was able to hear all that had passed between them, and I knew that Edward had had a breakthrough.

_I'm sorry baby. _Edward thought to me._ I saw it all as my fault, and I was disgusted with myself for causing you to crave blood. I will never leave you alone again, I swear it._

_I believe you. I'm sorry I cursed at you so horribly._ I lamented.

_I don't blame you! Had I been in your shoes, I'd have.._ I cut off his line of thought

_You'd have stood there politely, and interpreted my silence to mean that YOU had done something wrong, and instead of saying "Fuck you", you'd have been saying "Fuck _me_"._ I grinned at him with my eyebrows raised in challenge. Edward nodded, and smiled sheepishly as he acknowledged the truth of my assessment.

"I love you, Leah. With all that I am, I love you!" Edward was in front of me in a flash, pressing his lips against my temple, and holding me tightly in his arms. I wrapped my arms around his neck and my legs around his waist, clinging to him like a spider monkey. He turned, and sat on the sofa with me still curled around him, breathing in his scent.

Carlisle sat in the leather recliner, and spread four manila folders on the coffee table. Clearing his throat, he drew our attention to himself as he launched into Dr. Cullen mode.

"I have here some rather interesting results. As you know, I have compared tests you had done previously to tests that I ran a couple of days ago. While they are not all back yet, the ones that are - are painting an interesting picture." He picked up a thick folder and thumbed through it. "Dr. Lonogan performed a pelvic ultrasound and CT scan on you last year. It showed shriveling of the fallopian tubes and shrinkage of your ovaries, and your uterus was filled with scar tissue." Carlisle held up a scan in front of the light, and pointed to the various organs as he explained, showing me for the first time the extent of the damage caused by the infection and the resulting PID. He explained that inflammation had irritated the lining of my uterus, and that it caused scar tissue to form, completely taking over my system. They shrinkage of my ovaries and shriveling of my fallopian tubes was equal to that of an eighty year old woman whose system had completely shut down on the other side of menopause.

"This is the CT scan from two days ago." Carlisle lifted another folder off the table, and held another scan in front of the lamp. "Notice the difference?"

Edward shifted me off of his lap, and leaned further towards the scan, his eyes opened wide, and his bottom jaw lowered as if in awe. Not having any real clue what I was looking at, I shrugged, looking back and forth between Carlisle's obvious excitement, and Edward's blatant shock, waiting for one of them to say something in way of explanation.

"Hello? Three non-doctor types in the room!" Bella said sarcastically while waving her hands.

"I'm sorry! Of course, you're right." Carlisle chuckled softly.

"The scan clearly shows that your ovaries and fallopian tubes are healthy, and that your uterus is clear of scar tissue." Rosalie's voice startled me. I had not noticed that she and Emmett and Alice and Jasper had all entered the room behind us. I had been so focused on what Carlisle was trying to show me that I had not heard them. "It means that you are probably capable of conceiving a child." Rosalie said wistfully.

"We don't know that for sure." Carlisle jumped in quickly to clarify. "In order to know for sure, I would have to run a few more… invasive tests, but according to the scans, the damage was reversed by the venom."

I shrugged. As much as I liked the idea of maybe having children some day, I loved Edward; and I would not miss anything that he could not give to me. I smiled at him, knowing he would have heard the thoughts that flew through my head rapidfire. His eyes smoldered as he looked at me and kissed my forehead, nose and lips in silent appreciation. I turned back to Carlisle.

"What else have you found?" I was truly curious, as was Bella.

"Here are the x-rays." Carlisle held up one sheet to the light. It was one of my arm that had been broken. "This is the follow up film taken after they removed your cast and pins." Carlisle explained.

"This," he held up another right beside it "is the one I took."

I looked at them, and even to my untrained eye, the difference was obvious. The first was your every day x-ray picture. The soft tissue barely registered on the scan, the bones were slightly more opaque, but even more dense, and brighter where the break was healed over. I knew enough about x-rays to know that the more solid the structure, the brighter it showed up on the film. On the new scan, my whole bone showed more brightly than in the former scan. My soft tissue also was somehow more defined than the first film showed.

"So, what does that mean?" I queried.

"Why are her bones so much brighter on the new scan?" Jacob threw out there.

"Forget the bones, Jake! Look at her whole arm! You can see some muscle definition there." Bella interjected.

"Keen eyes there, kiddos." Carlisle grinned. "This means that your bone density scans will be interesting when they come in next week. I would hazard a guess that they are hardening and strengthening. "I can't know for sure yet, but I suspect that your bones have become nearly as dense and strong as aluminum alloy."

"How would that compare to ours, Carlisle?" Jasper sounded intrigued.

"Our soft tissues have the density of titanium alloy, Jasper. I don't think there is anything on this earth that is stronger than our bones. I could be wrong, but I have not found it yet." Carlisle explained.

I was no scientist, but I knew that titanium alloy is one of the strongest metals known to man. Bella and I stared at each other for a few moments, absorbing what we were seeing and hearing.

"Is your hearing changing?" Bella asked me, as her eyes darted towards Carlisle, who suddenly appeared to be struggling to maintain his composure.

"Yes." I cleared my throat. "I noticed this morning that I am hearing more clearly." At this, Carlisle let out a poorly concealed laugh, holding a hand to his mouth as if he had coughed.  
>"I can hear things now that I never noticed before… like someone left their computer running upstairs for instance. I can hear the fans running, and the hard drive keeps spinning, like the computer is thinking." Carlisle closed his eyes for a moment, and looked as if he were centering himself. He looked directly at me as he answered. I noticed Edward's chest shake slightly behind me, and took in the crimson blush now on Bella's face. She was staring rather embarrassedly at the ceiling.<p>

"Yes," Carlisle cleared his throat, "I have my computer running a search program for more information on the Lobishomen, or anything remotely like them." I made a mental note to question Edward later as to what I was missing. He didn't make me wait.

_Poor Bella got a real earful this morning. Apparently we weren't the only ones taking advantage of our alone time._

_NO! She heard us? _I closed my eyes, and willed my blush to die down.

_Oh, yes. And Jasper and Alice.. and Emmett and Rose. Apparently she was mortified, and Carlisle lost it. He went on a laughing jag like I've never seen before._

"Lobi-who?" I laughed, ending our brief conversation, and tried to get off that topic before Bella and I suffered any more humiliation over _that_ episode.

"Lobishomen." Bella stated flatly. "They were the fabled offspring of a vampire and a werewolf. The legend is that they were blood drinkers, and that when the Volturi finally found them, they were destroyed. They were the only ones of their kind that are known of."

"So, that's what you think we are? Low-bee-show-men?" I enunciated slowly, turning the word over in my mouth, trying to get a feel for it.

"Not exactly, but they are the closest thing I could find that comes close to what you are. Of course, they were half _true_ werewolf, and half vampire from birth."

"Wait, doc! What do you mean, _**true**_ werewolf?" Jacob asked incredulously.

"Your tribe are not true werewolves, Jacob. You know this!" Carlisle chided. "You are shapeshifters. You change at will, not according to the cycle of the moon. Also, _true_ werewolves stand erect, and look like a disfigured, hairy man, not an actual wolf."

"Think Underworld dude!" Emmett chimed in. Everyone got a kick out of that and laughed with him.

"So, we're similar to the Lobishomen, but not really _like_ them." I stated, trying to pin this down.

"Right. You have human instincts, and thought processes."

"Except we now crave blood. Is that not a vampire instinct?" I challenged.

"Bella discovered this morning that after she had met her body's need for blood, she was able to consume regular human food as well. So, yes... this is a vampiric trait, but it is not as strong as ours. It is not a driving factor, it is merely a biological need."

"Why is that?" I couldn't help but ask.

"I have a theory." Bella jumped in.

"I'm all ears." Carlisle looked to be earnestly interested in Bella's thoughts.

"This is going to sound… really gross, so bear with me?" We all nodded assent. "What if blood is what feeds the _venom_, so that it can reproduce itself?" She looked around the room, and was greeted by nine confused expressions. "Okay, here's the gross part. You all don't produce… waste, right?"

Everyone but Jake nodded, silently pressing for more. Jake just looked lost.

"That means that every bit of the blood you consume is used up in your systems. Your saliva, your… other bodily fluids that I am assuming - in light of Leah's experience - that you produce… They are all varying forms of venom, correct? I mean, I know this is a tangent, but I remember Mr. Banner explaining in Biology how all of our human bodily fluids are essentially made of the same materials, but in different viscosities… so if we apply that idea here, the blood is used up in your system to give you the necessary energy for motion and to fuel your bodies… and whatever would be left over as waste from human consumption… that must be what the venom uses to feed and replenish itself." Bella looked around the room again. "Does that sound stupid?" She asked in a small voice.

"No, Bella! It absolutely doesn't." Carlisle encouraged.

"So, my theory is that while the venom has not caused us to turn completely to vampires, it still exists in our systems, and replenishes itself, and gives strength to the parts of us that it changed when we drink blood. I think that there is something inherent in our blood as shape shifters that balances the venom, and holds it at bay. Whatever _that_ is needs to be nourished by human food. So, I think that when the venom weakens in our system, due to the changes, the imperative for blood overrides all other needs so that our system can have the energy it needs. After we have met the demands of the venom in our system, I think that our body's regular needs emerge once again. Then we can eat regular food." Bella bit her bottom lip, and shrugged her shoulders as she finished her speech.

"Very astute, Bella. I don't think I could have said it any more clearly myself." Carlisle's voice was dripping with pride. He smiled at Bella, and gave her a wink. "_My_ theory after over three hundred years of consideration is that venom itself is an entity; an organism that needs a symbiotic host in order to live. Edward, you often refer to the part of you that hungers for human blood as "the monster". What if you are right? What if the thoughts that torment you when you are struggling to maintain your hold on your humanity are not your own? What if you are responding to the imperative of the venom in your system?" Edward's eyebrows were drawn, and his whole demeanor screamed "deep in thought".

"While _extremely_ interesting, and definitely something to consider; I really think we should table this part of this discussion until such time as we are not getting ready to head off to train for a battle. Mm-kay?" Esme said with a false perkiness. I got a kick out of her.

"Did you discover anything else, doc?" Jacob wondered.

"Yes." Carlisle grinned. "Leah, you said you had an appendectomy, and tonsillectomy, right?"

"Yes, that's correct." I told him.

"Your current MRI scans would beg to differ." Carlisle said with an amused air.

"They grew back?" I was incredulous.

"Yes, and while I have seen cases of tonsils spontaneously re-growing, I have never seen a single episode of a regenerated appendix!" He smiled at me.

"So, essentially, what you are saying is that I am tougher than any human or shape shifter – Bella notwithstanding – but not as strong as a vampire, and that thanks to the venom coursing through me, my systems have all healed themselves?"

"Yes. And I am saying that unless your reproductive system has become too rigid to expand, it is likely that you can conceive and carry a child." Carlisle's eyes and face were alight with happiness.

"Hence the need for an invasive test in the future, right?" Bella asked.

"Right. I would have to find out more about the density and elasticity of the tissues of your ovaries and uteri." Carlisle said matter of factly. Neither Bella nor I missed the fact that he spoke in the plural, as we looked at each other with matching expressions of hope.

**~~..*..~~**

As ever... Your reviews are _welcomed,  
><em>_and I WANT them! ;)_


	36. Chapter 36 Ignorance is Bliss

**AN...** Thanks once again to my pre-reader Prettyflour for catching my errors,  
>and keeping me IN CHARACTER! LOL i was totally rolling my eyes at myself<br>on that one... ;D

This is far and away the _shortest _chapter in this story.

**F.Y.I.** I have written an outtake for chapter 35. I may be posting it.  
>It is the conversation between Carlisle and Edward in the kitchen<br>after Leah handed his ass to him... I am considering writing some  
>more... so to that end I am asking you, my dear readers...<br>Is there anything in this story that you wanted to know more about,  
>or thought I should have added? If so, let me know either in your<br>review, or an IM, and I will consider writing it as an outtake!

**~~..*..~~**

**Chapter 36**

_**Ignorance is Bliss**_

**Bella POV**

I sat there on the couch, stunned. I could feel Jake tightening his arms around me as we absorbed all that Carlisle had laid out for us. _So much information, and so much to consider_. Something kept tugging at the back of my mind. I kept willing myself not to let the idea form itself into a coherent thought.

See, I took Advanced Biology, and I did well in the course. Even with Edward in the classroom as a distraction, I managed to pay enough attention to get a decent grasp of the material. There were things that stuck out to me, always. Strange shards of information that always glimmered in my memory as more interesting than the others… without rhyme or reason; some snippets grabbed my attention.

For instance: Did you know that a man does not start producing sperm until between the ages of ten and fourteen, while a woman is born with every egg she will ever produce? They are not matured yet, but the follicles are there from birth. It is amazing how the reproductive system works. Recent events had me thinking more about the process. I needed to talk to Carlisle. Again.

"Babe, I need to ask Carlisle a question... in private. Do you want to come with me? It kind of… involves you." I stammered quietly into Jacob's ear. He nodded once, with his eyebrows raised and worry creased on his brow. I smiled reassuringly, and tried to smooth the lines with my fingers.

"Carlisle, can I speak with you and Jacob in your office for a few moments?" I asked, not looking away from Jacob's eyes, still so laden with concern.

"Of course. Do you want to do this now?" Carlisle's voice was fully professional.

"Absolutely." I assured him, while smiling at my mate.

We rose, and made our way quickly to the office; Jake held onto my hand as if for dear life. I could feel the apprehension rolling off of him in waves.

"Relax, babe!" I tried to assure him once again.

"Yeah, easier said than done." He muttered. "If I had any idea why we were doing this, it might help."

"You'll understand soon enough." I squeezed his hand. "Relax! It's really nothing we have not already touched on between the two of us."

Carlisle closed the door behind us, and sat in his chair as I eased into the deep cushion of the luxurious leather loveseat in front of the desk. Jake sat reluctantly beside me. We sat silently for a few moments; Carlisle was watching us carefully, his head cocked and his eyes narrowed. Jacob stared at our joined hands.

"So…" I began. "I asked for this sit down because of what the tests revealed about Leah."

Carlisle nodded once, his expression urging me onward. I blew out a long breath before I launched into my thoughts.

"So, you think the only thing that would stand in the way of Leah's carrying a child is the ability of her uterus to expand through a pregnancy?" I clarified.

"Yes. Her uterus needs to be elastic enough to accommodate a growing fetus, but her ovaries must also be supple…" Carlisle was sitting back in his chair with his hands folded together as if in prayer, resting against his chin. He leaned forward, placing his elbows on the desk, and rested his chin atop his hands, now fisted together. "You're not asking this about Leah, are you?" He asked softly, his eyes astutely appraising me.

Jacob was listening carefully to the conversation, and had pulled me tightly to his side. I am not sure if it was a conscious decision, or an unconscious reaction to the conversation at hand, but I found Jake's arm wrapped around my small frame, and his hand resting on my stomach; his thumb was gently moving back and forth in a soothing fashion.

"No," I admitted softly.

"Out with it. What is it you are thinking? You tend to think things through very cautiously before you voice your thoughts; so tell me what your theory is now." Carlisle's voice held a depth of curiosity.

"I'm thinking that because venom turned me into a wolf, I am a freak." I said dryly. Carlisle's eyes widened.

"You are no freak, Bella!" he admonished gently.

"Jacob and I…" I stole a quick sideways glance at Jacob. "I know that I am still slowly changing. You said yourself that you don't know how much Leah and I will continue to change and evolve physically. Do you think there is any hope that I might be able to carry a child?" the question tumbled quickly out of my mouth.

"I suppose. Are you asking me to look into this for you?" Carlisle looked pointedly at Jacob. "Have you even discussed this together?"

Jacob nodded at Carlisle. "Bella is everything to me, Doc. I intend to spend all of my forever with her. Nothing would make me happier than to have a family with her."

Carlisle nodded, his eyes focused on his desk in thought.

"Let's plan on a procedure next week. I can get you in right away, and do a laparoscopy and a biopsy." He suddenly said. "You're right. Venom is what triggered your shift. We don't know how long it will take for it to cause more changes throughout your system. If you are serious about having children, we need to act quickly."

"I know it has only been a couple of days, but is there any way to know if she is already pregnant?" Jacob blurted out.

"Is there that possibility?" Carlisle's face and tone were incredulous. "I mean, I know you don't answer to me, in any way, but…." The disappointment in his now fatherly tone was clear.

"Carlisle, please don't be angry with us." I pleaded. "Yes, we had unprotected sex. We were unwise, but we both know the risks. We want a family. I want a family. I never thought I wanted children, but I do. I want them. With Jacob." I looked into Jake's eyes, reveling in the tender expression I found there.

"Well, I can do blood work. We can know before the day is out."

I rolled up my sleeve, and made a fist, looking pointedly at Carlisle. To my surprise, Jacob tensed beside me, pulled my arm back, and shook his head vehemently. "No!"

"Wha?" (Me)  
>"What?" (Carlisle)<p>

"Let's not find out until after tomorrow. No good can come of knowing right now." Jacob reasoned.

" I agree. You are a wise young man." Carlisle mused. "So much more insightful than I had given you credit for. I am sorry for having underestimated you, Jacob." He stretched out his hand towards Jake as he arose out of his seat. Jacob stood, and shook his hand.

"I don't follow. How can knowing be a bad thing?" I inquired, lost.

"If you are, and you know it, you are more likely to be reckless in a fight. All of our attentions will be focused on keeping you and the baby safe, including your own. We all need to be at our strongest. We can't afford any weakness. The fact of the matter is, if you _are_ pregnant right now, it is so early, the battle is unlikely to have any effect on the fetus." Carlisle looked at me with compassion. "Knowing right now can only make things more complicated. Tomorrow evening, after the dust clears; I promise that I will personally run the blood work."

"Okay." I breathed out. They made a good point, I had to admit.

**~~...oOo...~**

Your reviews are always welcome and wanted!

They make me smile, and squee like a little girl. Honest.


	37. Chapter 37Knowing He's Enough

**AN... Hello?! Yes, yes... I DO exist! I am so sorry that it has taken so long for me  
>to get back to this. The past two months have been very... interesting. I have<br>learned alot about myself. I have also learned alot about my husband... if only  
>I had done this years ago. We might have had a much better marriage for the<br>last 10+ years. Ennywho...  
>I want to thank everyone for their well wishes and prayers. They have been<br>appreciated more than you know. Surprisingly, I only got two messages from  
>people getting irritable over the length of my absence. Thank you all for your<br>patience. On my way here, my laptop died. I had only an outdated "smartphone"  
>with which to read emails, and stories. I could not write or upload anything, so<br>I am JUST getting this up! Please forgive the lateness!**

**To my Prettyflour... Thanks so much! You are wonderful, and have helped me  
>alot. I am grateful that you agreed to pre-read this craziness for me! ((hugz))<strong>

**To MrsK81... You have been a shoulder and sounding board. You have proven  
>to be a genuine friend, and I appreciate you so much! You are my hero in more<br>ways than one! **

**Chapter 37**

_**Knowing He's Enough,  
>Hoping we Have More<br>**_

**~~..*..~~**

**Leah POV**

To say I was stunned would be a stupendous understatement. I had come to accept that I would never have a child of my own. I was okay with it. To find out that the venom coursing through my system had reversed the damage in my reproductive system was kind of sending me into a tailspin. I clung to Edward. My heart became a battleground of sorts.

I had just reamed Rose a good one two days ago for insinuating that I leave Edward for someone who could give children, and grow old with me. I told her I didn't want or need that. Edward was all I could ever ask for. _Nothing_ has changed since then. _Everything_ has changed since then.

_Imprint, mate, sire. Imprint, mate, sire. _I repeated this line in my head over and over. A part of me took comfort from this mantra. Edward was _everything_ to me. I had not known him long, but I knew everything I would ever need to know of him. He was mine, and I was his. This was a bond that could not be broken. I _refused_ to dwell on what he _couldn't_ provide. Not. Happening.

He drew me more tightly into his embrace, and caressed my back softly as he breathed me in, and gave me the kindness of silence. He could have flooded my mind with his own thoughts, but he chose to keep his thoughts to himself. It was the most selfless thing he could have done under the circumstances. I knew that he could hear my every thought. He was the sole witness to my inner musings. He knew the tug-of-war raging inside my mind and heart, but he didn't seem to take it personally. His tenderness in that moment spoke countless volumes about the kind of man he was. While Bella and Jacob spoke privately with Carlisle, Edward had chosen to take me back to his room to allow me to work through this in private.

_You are not alone in this. Ever._ Edward thought gently after a while.

_I choose you. Always you, Edward!_ I sent out with conviction. _I just need to absorb this._

_My love. _Edward's eyes, filled with tenderness and compassion gazed into my very soul. _I know how you feel for me. I also know what having your own children means to you. _

_Oh, Edward… Don't let this be another reason for you to hate who and what you are! Please! _I begged him. He had _just_ accepted the changes taking place in me this morning, and Carlisle had helped him to see that this bonded us, and could make us stronger if we let it. I was not about to let this new revelation undermine his new-found peace.

Edward smiled at me, his eyes crinkled at the corners. I didn't need to hear his word to know that he was telling me that he wasn't self-hating.

_I know it is unrealistic to hope. I know that vampires cannot make babies… but let's not use protection. Ever! We can always hope!_ I gazed fiercely into his goldenrod eyes which still held the tiniest flecks of crimson around the edges of his irises.

_First of all… You're right! We are _absofrigginlutely **not **_going to be using protection. I never want to feel a barrier between us. _He dropped a hand to my hip and gave it a squeeze. _And secondly, why would you think it is an unrealistic hope, exactly?_

My brow furrowed and my face scrunched into a bewildered, and I imagine slightly incredulous expression. _Why would I not? Vampires cannot make babies. _

A sly grin spread itself across Edward's face, and his eyes were dancing with some unspoken merriment. He made me think of a child on Christmas morning, taking in the trove of presents that appeared under the tree overnight.

_Did you listen to the story of the Lobishomen? Were you paying attention?_

As he held my gaze, he began to replay the conversation in his head, reminding me the origin of the creatures, a cross-breed between vampire and werewolf. My mind began to whirl as I took in that information in an entirely other light. The twins were conceived when of a vampire male. I had heard it, but it had not registered in those regards.

_So, a vampire male can father a child?_

_That's how they came to be… according to the lore. It's not like male vampires go around having sex with humans, and letting them live long enough to know whether or not they were impregnated. Many DO have sex with human women, but it is a prelude to the feast, and it is certainly not a pleasant coupling for the female. _He shuddered slightly with the last part, completely disgusted with the practice. _So, we can't be certain right now, but Carlisle is already planning to take a sample from me to run some tests. _

Tears spilled down my cheeks for the umpteenth time this week. Edward had already given me my life back. He had accepted the imprint instead of running for the hills. He loved me in spite of the fact that our species were mortal enemies. As a young girl, I had daydreamed about what the love of my life would be to me. All of my fondest dreams fell exceedingly short of this amazing man. Edward was everything I ever needed, and more than I even knew I ever wanted in this life. He was the promise of a forever kind of love.

All of this, and now he was telling me that I might even get to bear his children? I might one day hold a precious life in my hands? I could possibly look into the eyes of a perfect creature, created by our love, and that precious being would call _me_ Mommy? It was too much. I could never deserve such bliss.

Edward's arms surrounded me, and he held me tightly to his chest, rocking me gently as he hummed my gentle aria.

"There is no guarantee. We don't really know yet, but I promise you, Leah. If there is the smallest possibility, I will do everything in my power to make it so." The fire in his eyes and the passion in his voice gave weight to his already zealous words.

"A week ago, I believed that love was a lie, a fairytale myth of epic proportions. I thought that the words were a deceit, woven for the specific function of decimating a heart." I whispered.

"And now?" Edward prompted me. "Do you still have such doubts about love?"

I shook my head, and smiled as broadly as my mouth could possibly stretch. With tears still leaking down my face, I told him the truth. "I will never doubt again."

"There will never be a need." He whispered softly. We both chuckled at our shamelessly plagiarized lines. Edward knew that my one "girlie" trait had been my love of romantic comedies… especially the movie Princess Bride.

"You're far sexier than Westly ever could have been!" I giggled.

"You mean you like me better than Carey Elwes?" Edward opened his eyes wide in faux awe, as if he could not believe such a thing were true. I kissed him on the nose as I rose from the bed.

"Baby, there is not a movie star; living or dead that can hold a candle to you!" I looked at him through my lashes, giving him my lustiest gaze.

"We don't have time for that Leah." Edward narrowed his eyes, sending me a reproachful expression as he adjusted himself inside his tightening pants. "So not fair to promise with your eyes what you cannot hope to deliver."

"Oh, I can _hope_ all I want!" I laughed, batting my lashes at him playfully.

"You are cruel woman!" He chuckled. "Positively inhuman." He smacked my ass as he slid himself off of the bed, then took my hand as we walked back to the living room where the family was beginning to gather. It was time to make the trek to the clearing for our last night of training. The tension in the room was thick, but there was an undercurrent of excitement, and dare I say it?... Hope.

**~~..*..~~**

**Reviews are welcome and _wanted  
><em>and they always make me smile!**


	38. Chapter 38  No More Passivity

**AN... Just a quick note here! I am headed back home today~!  
>Home to a husband who loves me enough to go to counseling,<br>and work on our many issues. God is good! Thank everyone  
>once again for your thoughts, prayers and support!<strong>

**Prettyflour... Hon, words aren't enough! ILY, bb.**

**Chapter 38**

_**No More Passivity**_

**~~..*..~~**

**Leah POV**

The fervor was tactile as we entered the clearing. The pack was agitated in their excitement, barely able to stay still for more than a second or two. Jasper, Carlisle, Edward, Sam and Jacob stood off to the side, talking strategy. Emmett joined the rest of the pack, and started roughhousing around while all of us females giggled over their antics. Seth and Colin kept trying to wrestle Emmett to the ground, but were entirely unsuccessful until Brady and Embry joined in. Emmett's laughter at their ridiculousness was contagious.

"What the hell, guys?!" his big voice boomed across the expanse. "If it takes four of you against one of us, we're in big trouble!"

"It would take only one of us if we were in wolf form!" Seth defended with a grin. "But I think you'd like to keep your limbs intact!"

"Whatever! I'd still take you down, pup!" Emmett smirked, shoving at Seth's ribs with his elbow in a playful gesture.

"Sure, sure… you say that now oh, Ancient One!" Seth laughed and jumped away as Emmett growled.

"Infant!" Emmett shot back.

"Boys, boys!" Esme cut in. "Let's all play nice! Remember, you're a team now!" She reminded them all in a playful tone, however needlessly. It was amazing how easily the pack had gotten over their hatred of the Cullens. They could now truly separate the golden eyed vampires from the red eyed. One week ago, we were all so guarded as we approached the field. We had all come to this very spot to pull resources with the Cullen's for the safety of Bella, as well as the community, but not one of us _liked_ the Cullens. We grudgingly put aside our aversion to them for the safe keeping of the general populace, but the mere thought of being genuine allies with _any_ vampire was both foreign and unwelcome. Looking around at the playful banter, hearing the laughter and discussions taking place so easily; it seemed impossible that this was the same crowd.

A week ago, I had been ready to curse God, thinking him unjust. The unthinkable imprint seemed untenable at the time. It went against every instinct; every natural law as we knew it. I accused God of having a sick sense of humor. Now, as I looked at those assembled for the battle tomorrow, I could see with eyes unclouded how perfectly _right_ this was. This was no longer a "truce", or even a treaty. This was now a family… a cohesive unit. Each one here was willing to fight- even die- for anyone else standing in this place; which was a very good thing, seeing how tomorrow we would all be doing that very thing against a formidable army.

My musings were cut short when a loud whistle suddenly pierced the night air. I snapped my head to the left to ascertain the source of the sound. Jasper still had his thumb and middle finger against the corners of his mouth. (I never had figured out how to do that.) Everyone became serious in the span of a couple seconds, and all attention focused on the chief strategist.

"Okay. We have discussed our course of action! Everyone is going to be pared up. When I call your name, stand by your partner. If you are mated, you already know who that is." He reached for Alice's hand as he spoke, and pulled her close to his side. "Embry, Quil – pair up. Sam and Jared, you're together. Seth, you're in charge of Colin and Brady."

"In _charge_ of?" Seth looked skeptically at Jasper. "Like, as in _babysitting_?" All three of them looked resentful.

"Not babysitting." Carlisle piped in. "You three will stay on the Res, and keep watch over Charlie, Sue, and Billy as well as the rest of the families. We need a presence there just in case Victoria decides to send a few of the newborns there in search of Bella." The boys still looked skeptical, but didn't argue. "This is a big responsibility, boys. Seth is older, and has been phasing longer. He has better control. He is being left in charge."

"You three will train first tonight. Then you will go home, and get sleep. Your responsibility tomorrow is a large one. We are entrusting the safety of all of our human loved ones into your care!" Jacob stared intently at the three young wolves, willing them to understand that this was not _just_ a way to keep them from the heat of battle. (Although that was one of the side benefits to the plan – it was difficult for everyone to imagine the two thirteen year olds and Seth at fourteen battling against the foe they knew to expect.) They seemed to accept this coming from their Alpha, and didn't say another word of complaint.

"Okay, it's time for all of our furry brethren to phase. Practice starts now." Jasper instructed. After a couple of minutes, we wolves had all gotten… wolfy, and were watching as Jasper, Emmett and Edward sparred with the youngest members of the pack. They worked with them for an hour or so until they felt that the boys were prepared to defend the humans we were leaving behind at the Res, and then sent them home to get a decent night of sleep.

"Bella!" Jasper called, gaining her swift attention. "Up on the boulder; remember you are playing the part of the helpless human!" he beamed slyly, gaining a rumble of laughter from everyone in attendance. Bella bounded, still in her human form to the top of the boulder, and sat "Indian style", leaning her forearms against her knees, and intently listening to the rest of the instructions as they were handed out.

Edward was positioned at the base of the boulder on the eastern side, facing the direction from which the army would be arriving. Jasper and Alice were positioned some ten yards apart, and approximately ten yards ahead of Edward. Carlisle and Esme flanked Jasper, positioned the same distance apart, and from the boulder on the North side- Rose and Emmett mirrored Carlisle and Esme to the South. The wolves were instructed to stay hidden in the forest on the Western edge of the clearing, just out of view of the approaching army. They would pick off any newborns that had been sent to encircle the clearing, hoping to find an area of vulnerability. As soon as the first member of the encroaching army made it close to the base of the boulder, Leah and Jacob were to join Edward in defending Bella from attack.

Bella was to remain atop the boulder, appearing helpless. She was instructed that under no circumstances was she to phase, and that she was only to come to her own defense in the case of actual contact with one of the enemy. She was vocal in her distaste for the arrangement, but was quickly overruled by… everyone! Embry and Quil were to remain the forest no matter what, while Sam and Jared would join the fight if it appeared that any of the Cullens were about to be overwhelmed.

Once everyone understood their roles, it was time for the practice to commence. Sparring was taking place all over the field. Jasper was hopping from one spot to the next offering advice, or jumping into the fray to challenge us to take on more than one foe. We battled and practiced, and talked through many different scenarios over the next few hours.

Bella suddenly jumped into the middle of a session between Edward and Jasper, demanding their immediate attention.

"Bella, get back on your perch." Edward instructed. She pursed her lips and shoved at him in frustration.

"You are not the boss of me, Edward Cullen!" She hissed.

"Bella, what are you doing?" Jasper wondered. "I can feel your frustration. It is rolling off of you in waves!"

"Jasper, I need to have some moves down. I need to know how to destroy Victoria when the chance arises." She stated with resolve.

"The whole point of you being atop the boulder is to keep you out of the fight!" Jacob interjected from a nearby skirmish. By now, most of the mock fighting had ceased as everyone became curious about the small storm that was brewing in the center of the field.

"Jacob, I am a wolf now too! The point of me being on the rock is to keep _them_ from knowing that I am a wolf, and to lure them here. It is no longer because I cannot defend myself!"

"But.." Jacob began, only to be cut off my Bella's hand clamping itself over his mouth.

"No!" Bella said firmly. "No buts. I _am_ capable of defending myself, and I will _not_ sit around like a helpless victim! When this fight gets close to me..." she looked around at everyone in the clearing, making sure that everyone was hearing what she was saying. "and it _will_; I fully intend to scare the every loving shit out of them as I phase and join the fight."

"Mark my words, _all of you_!" Bella said very loudly, spinning in a very slow circle, addressing everyone. "Victoria is mine. This is not negotiable. She has been stalking me and interfering in my life for nearly a year. I get to exact justice."

"Babe." Jacob began quietly. "I love you, and I do not doubt your strength or determination, but this chick has…" he shook his head expressing bewilderment, "Lord only knows how many years of experience in fighting. One training session just hours before the fight is not enough!"

"So, you would rather the fight gets close to me, and I have had no training whatsoever?" She asked incredulously.

"No! I want you to be able to defend yourself effectively, baby!" Jake's voice was emphatic. "I just don't want you going one on one against the red headed bitch!"

"Okay, I hear your concern." Bella nodded. "But hear me out. Let me go up against her. Give me the chance! If it looks like I cannot hold my own against her, then I will accept help, but you _have_ to give me the chance to do this." Bella was firm in her resolve. I understood her need to try. She was no longer willing to be the helpless victim of a madwoman. I walked over and put my arm across her shoulders.

"I agree with Bella." I declared openly. "Give her the chance. She has already proven that she can kill. She needs the opportunity to do this." I faced her, and looked firmly into her eyes. "And if it looks for a moment like she won't succeed, I will be the first one jumping in for the assist." Bella understood my resolve, and thanked me for my support quietly.

"Okay." Jasper nodded, feeling the resolve, and knowing that it would be pointless to argue further. "Sam, Jake?" He gained their attention with a firm glance. "Edward, Emmett? I need all of your help. We make up the strongest and fastest on the field." Jasper continued to explain that Jacob and Sam were to show Bella the moves, and assist as she fought against Edward, Emmett and himself. They worked with her for two solid hours, and found her to be formidable in her determination. She could hold her own against Emmett and Edward as they attacked her in tandem, moving quickly to evade Emmett, and being shrewd enough to turn Edward's own momentum against him. She was amazing to watch. Those on the sidelines were absorbed in the scene that unfolded, watching with rapt awe as Bella's natural talent and potential were realized. She was showing herself to be as capable in her wolf form as she had been clumsy in her weak human state. Add the vampiric grace she had acquired to that, and she was blessed with the best of both species.

"You are quite the force to be reckoned with, darlin'!" Jasper chuckled as he wrapped her in a brotherly hug. Everyone shook their heads in awe as nervous laughter spread out among us.

As we drew near to sunrise, the excitement of the night began to wane, and a sense of trepidation began to creep in. We knew that no matter how well prepared we might be, there was still the possibility that one or more of us might not make it out of this unscathed. It was a daunting reality.

Just as the eastern sky began to lighten, the remaining pack members were sent to their western position to rest. Jacob and I declined, opting instead to stay with Bella and Edward for as long as possible. Bella and I didn't need any sleep just yet, and chose to remain with the Cullens. We all sat around at the base of the boulder, soaking in one another's company and just being together for the little while we had before the battle began.

We discussed the craziness and intensity of the week we just endured… the changes it wrought in all of our lives. Everyone agreed with me that things worked out better than any of us anticipated when I fell at Edward's feet that night. What appeared to have been a disastrous event had turned out to be so much more of a blessing than had been conjectured at first. The fact is, what took place between Edward and I was a world changing event; even if fewer than twenty people knew about it.

It was time to face the reality that after the smoke cleared and the dust settled in just a few hours, the whole of the vampire world may well know the truth. We had come to place of supreme confidence about this battle, but as I watched Alice's face glaze over, and I tapped into my connection with Edward; I realized how true that could be. The word passed through her mind as the vision of three strange vampires became clear… Volturi.

**~~..*..~~**

**You know the drill!**

**Welcome, Wanted... DEFINITELY wanted!**

**Show me some love?!**


	39. Chapter 39- And so, It Begins

**AN... Okay. This is the FIRST HALF of the battle scene.**  
><strong>I really, REALLY wanted to have this done like three weeks<strong>  
><strong>ago, but it has been fighting me every step of the way.<strong>  
><strong>I sent it to Prettyflour back in September, and she had it<strong>  
><strong>back in decent time, but it was SUPPOSED to be twice as<strong>  
><strong>long, and SANS cliffie. It has <strong>_not _**cooperated.**  
><strong>So, I said all of that so that you will know why this is so<strong>  
><strong>short again, and unresolved! Hopefully the characters will<strong>  
><strong>speak to me soon, because right now they are being<strong>  
><strong>stubbornly silent, but you have ALL been so patient with<strong>  
><strong>me, and I feel horrible that it has been so long again since<strong>  
><strong>I posted, so please accept this small chapter as a humble<strong>  
><strong>apology. I love you guys!<strong>

**Thank you, Prettyflour for your mad skills and patience**  
><strong>with my wishy-washy ass! You rawk.<strong>

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 39<strong>

**And So, It Begins...**

**Bella POV**

We sat around as mated pairs, enjoying a few minutes of silence. I clung tightly to Jacob, my head resting against his chest. The anticipation was heavy in the atmosphere, and as I breathed in the scent of my love, my nerves were soothed and my spirits buoyed… for surely God had not allowed such love as we shared, and was reflected in each of the couples present, only to watch its destruction at the hands of an evil, hateful being.

As Alice went stiff in Jasper's arms, and her eyes fixed into the familiar glaze of premonition, we all came to attention, readying ourselves for whatever she would say.

"Twenty minutes. They'll be arriving from the eastern side in twenty minutes." She whispered as she closed her eyes, and shook her head of her vision. "They just lost another one. Their numbers are down to just eighteen. We can do this." She spoke with conviction.

Leah kissed Edward and grabbed my hand, leading me towards the tree-line and into the eastern woods so that I could lay my scent trail. About six miles into the dense forest, she produced a pocket knife.

"It's going to hurt like a bitch, but you really need to cut deep if you want to leave some blood. You'll heal quickly enough." She shrugged, and I rolled my eyes at her.

"Duh." Her lips twitched into a grin at my ever mature response. I took the knife and cut a test slice on my thumb, and watched it heal in about thirty seconds. I managed to smear about three drops onto nearby foliage from this minor incision. I sighed heavily, and bit my bottom lip hard as I opened a massive gash across the width of my palm, squeezing my hand into a fist, and flailing blood as I ran a mile back towards the clearing.

Leah was right, it hurt really badly for about ninety seconds. When I stopped and opened my hand to look at it again, the cut had completely healed over, leaving no trace behind. I shook my head disbelievingly.

"This is going to take some getting used to." I sighed, cutting an even deeper gash before shaking it about again flinging blood in a trail behind me as I ran at inhuman speeds back into the clearing. I used the tall, dew covered grass to wipe my hand clean of the blood that was beginning to dry on my skin, then kissed Jacob deeply before sending him to wait with the rest of the pack.

"I love you, so very much." I sighed against his lips.

"Forever, babe. See you in a bit." He responded before giving me a final peck on the nose, and sauntering off into the woods.

I climbed onto my perch, a boulder, and began the final countdown as everyone moved into position; readying for the arrival of the newborns. We stood stoically, silently as we listened for movement in the woods. After a few minutes, a very large flock of birds flew towards the clearing from the east, then split, scattering towards the north and south just before they flew over-top of us. It was a bit unnerving.

Moments after the parting of the sea of birds, we heard the first whispers of movement in the underbrush. The approaching army was obviously incredibly untrained, as they made enough noise to be heard from the better part of a mile away. I could make out snarling and yelling as well as what sounded like screeching metal in the distance. I looked towards Alice and Jasper, askance. Jasper nodded his head knowingly. Alice whispered "seventeen.", and Emmett chuckled.

"They keep this up, and it will be anti-climactic." He huffed out quietly. I could practically _hear_ Rosalie rolling her eyes as she shook her head at him.

We were all intensely focused on the sounds of the forest surrounding us, and I became aware of the soft, swift sounds of feet running across the dampened earth just out of sight; skirting along the southern and northern boarders of the clearing. We began to see snippets of motion as heads bobbed around in the trees to the east. I got a glimpse of bone colored skin and red eyes just as the first two newborns burst through the trees and into the open. In all, seven barged across the clearing from the east, towards Carlisle and Esme.

"Surrender and I'll allow you to live. There is another way to live, without bloodshed." Carlisle implored loudly. Six of the monsters were unfazed, and continued their march toward my vampire parents. One, however stopped in her tracks and cocked her head to the side, furrowing her brows as if she were considering his words. I noticed that she was really small, and very young. My heart broke for her.

_Poor kid._ I thought, _Probably never had a choice or chance._ She looked so lost and scared.

"Bree, get your ass in the fight!" Yelled a tall, dark haired newborn that seemed to carry himself with an heir of authority. "Ignore him! Riley _told_ us they would try to deceive us!"

Just after he bellowed at the girl, Bree, he launched himself at Carlisle, lunging for his neck. Carlisle easily side-stepped his attack, managing to grab a hold of the young vampire's head, and used his own forward momentum as leverage to rip his head off, then quickly grabbed his arms, and placed his foot in the center of the back, ripping off the limbs. He spun around, and saw Esme fighting with another large male as a female began to charge from behind her. Carlisle closed the gap, managing to knock her off of her feet just as her hands grabbed a fistful of Esme's hair, yanking her head back, and leaving her throat vulnerable.

Edward flew forward like a bullet, ripping the head off of her male attacker, and finishing him off as he spun around, and ran back toward the two vampires that sped past him in an attempt to get to me.

I took a second to glance to my left, and saw Jasper busily fighting with two very adept newborns, and Alice seemingly dancing and toying with her attacker. The way that she stepped aside just enough for him to miss her would have been comical if I had the time to really watch and appreciate her situation. When I shifted my attention to the right, I saw Rose tearing a female apart viciously with a snarl. Emmet had a hold of one male by its head, his arm stretched out at full length. The vampire was swinging its arms, trying to hit him, unable to reach him, or escape his grasp, while another barreled towards him full tilt. I huffed a quick chuckle as he used his brute force to heave the vampire he had in his grasp at the other. The sudden collision sounded like boulders crashing. The force of the blow tore the body away from the head that he still held in his grasp. I heard Emmett laughing as I turned my attention in front of myself.

Edward tore a leg off of one of the two vampires that were speeding in my direction, and was in mid-stride to return to defend me against the other, when the one he was trying to leave behind managed to grab a hold of his foot, and take his feet out from under him. I watched in frustrated vacillation as the blood thirsty newborn with coal black eyes, and shaggy brown hair continued on its path towards me. I was hoping to keep from phasing until Victoria showed herself. If I phased now, it would ruin the shock value, and I _**re**__**ally**_ wanted to see Victoria's eyes as she realized that her time was up… at _MY_ hands! (Or teeth, as was sure to be the case)

Just as I was about to give in and make the shift, I caught sight of a russet blur flying past me, and colliding with the brown haired vamp. My eyes were frozen on the scene playing out in front of me, as Jacob fought to defend me.

Jake had barely managed to tear the throat out of the vampire, and begin to rip him apart limb from limb when I heard Edward utter a low oath. I looked around and noticed that save for the small young female named Bree, (who was cowering at Jasper's feet) all of Victoria's army that had converged on us in the clearing were dispatched, and their various parts were being collected by Rose, Emmett and Alice to be burned. Jacob froze, and crouched low, as Edward began to shout toward the western side of the clearing.

"Get to the reservation!" His command was loud and authoritative. **"Now!**" He began to run past me when I jumped onto his back, knocking him to the ground.

"What's going on at the reservation?" I demanded. His eyes were fierce as he uttered the one word that could instill contempt into my veins.

"Victoria." His eyes bore into me, conveying all I needed to know. I phased as I took off in the direction of the Quileute reservation. Fear and anger fueled my every stride as I raced towards my father, and my brother. If Victoria was on the reservation already, God only knew how many of _my_ people she had harmed; maybe even killed.

My people. A deep sense of awareness seized me with this thought. The Quileute Nation were _my people; my family!_ Trees and streams passed by in a blur as I dug in my feet, stretching and pushing as hard as I could muster. As I ran, I stretched out with my mind, listening with all of my being to hear my pack mates. In my intense focus, I nearly stumbled as I heard it: Seth's mind. I saw the blonde haired male lunging toward him. I felt my heart break as I heard Colin's mind fading, and practically felt the pain he was experiencing as his gasped for breath, his chest crushed by the same vampire who was now attacking my brother!

I caught up to Leah, and heard the terror in her thoughts as she too saw and heard the situation that our baby brother was caught up in.

_Seth, aim low, and try to take out his feet! _Leah pushed her thoughts forward, screaming in her mind towards him.

We had just passed into the edge of the village as we heard a loud yelp, and felt the air whoosh out of Seth's lungs. He had managed to knock the male off of his feet, but before he could right himself, he was kicked in his side hard. He had the wind knocked out of him, and a few ribs on that side broke. We were just getting close enough to hear Sue scream. Unable to see what was happening to her, we feared the worst.

~~~..***..~~~..***..~~~..***..~~~..***..~~~..***..~~~

**I love all of my readers. I hope you all know that.  
>And I wish that I could hear from each one of you.<br>but I know that some are just shy...  
>To those of you who are NOT shy... Please,<br>leave me some love? I need inspiration.**


	40. Chapter 40- Author's Note

Okay... Here's the dealio.

First of all...** I AM SO SORRY!**

I DO realize it has been a year since I updated this, and I left you all on this  
>HUGE cliffie. Please, PLEASE don't hate me! :(<p>

My laptop died right after I posted chapter 39, and I only got it back about  
>a month ago. Since it has been so long, my characters have been ignoring<br>my pleas for them to talk with me... SO. _**I**_ am going back to the beginning,  
>and re-reading my own story. I am also sending all of the chapters off to<br>be read by an actual BETA *gasp*.

It is my desire for this to be completed within a short time. ONCE I have  
>gotten the chapters back, I intend to pull all but chapter 1, which will most<br>likely be revised, and begin re-posting the story from the start. The whole"  
>purpose of this is two-fold... One, that I wish to present my best for you.<br>I won't be changing major plot points, but I hope to fill in holes, and make  
>this story better on the whole. Two, that I would get the feel for it again,<br>and be able to finally complete this... for you, my readers, and also for me.  
>I feel like an absolute failure for having left this for so long.<p>

SO... I don't know if you know how it works when you tear-down and re-  
>post chapters, but here's the deal. <strong>DO NOT REVIEW THIS CHAPTER<strong>.  
>Not yet. I PROMISE you that if you do, when I post the ACTUAL chapter<br>40, you will not be able to reply. Likewise, you will not be able to reply  
>to the updated chapters that you have already reviewed. If you want to<br>make a comment to me, I welcome it... just send it through PM. Okay?

You WILL all be hearing from me soon. I love and thank you all from the  
>deepest recesses of my heart.<p>

-Mary


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